Catholic FAQ


Latest Threads
newest posts



Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Non-Catholic Religions
 

Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums, the largest Catholic Community on the Web.

Here you can join over 400,000 members from around the world discussing all things Catholic. Membership is open to all, Catholic and non-Catholic alike, who seek the Truth with Charity.

To gain full access, you must register for a FREE account. Registered members are able to:
  • Submit questions about the faith to experts from Catholic Answers
  • Participate in all forum discussions
  • Communicate privately with Catholics from around the world
  • Plus join a prayer group, read with the Book Club, and much more.
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. So join our community today!

Have a question about registration or your account log-in? Just contact our Support Hotline.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search Thread Display
  #1  
Old Nov 24, '11, 10:56 am
Mberg3's Avatar
Mberg3 Mberg3 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: April 26, 2011
Posts: 111
Religion: Catholic Convert with Eastern Catholic Spirituality
Default Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

I was raised in a very strict WELS family and grew up opposing the Church. After meeting a Catholic girl and looking into things in more depth I have decided to join the Catholic Church and am currently in RCIA. The problem is that I have not told my family yet and I feel as though I would be disowned if I told them of my choice. They are not interested in hearing any arguments for Catholicism because they feel as though the Papacy is the anti-christ and that the Church is the Whore of Babylon. What are my options?
  #2  
Old Nov 24, '11, 12:08 pm
ThereWasADream's Avatar
ThereWasADream ThereWasADream is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: October 30, 2011
Posts: 91
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

You can either tell them (gently and charitably, but boldly) and take the risk of them distancing themselves from you, or you can try to keep it a secret. If you really live your Catholic faith and you make the choice to keep it a secret, eventually that will fail, unless you simply quit seeing your family.

If I were in your place, I would rather make the hard, right decision rather than the easy, wrong decision, and I feel like trying to keep it a secret is the wrong thing to do.

Good luck and God bless! I will pray for you.
__________________
My life in words
Without God, we have no justification for believing in our own human dignity. Belief is the great rebellion against Might is Right - the logical end of atheism.
  #3  
Old Nov 24, '11, 12:19 pm
Mberg3's Avatar
Mberg3 Mberg3 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: April 26, 2011
Posts: 111
Religion: Catholic Convert with Eastern Catholic Spirituality
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

I definatly want to tell them... its just the how that is bothering me. Are there any strategies to bringing it up or should i just do it. I know that there are several converts on this site and maybe some could give me advice.
  #4  
Old Nov 24, '11, 1:01 pm
saribee's Avatar
saribee saribee is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: October 18, 2011
Posts: 89
Religion: Denominational Mutt Coming Home to Catholicism
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

I am in very much the same situation and when I tell my family over Christmas, I will tell them I want to talk about something a few days ahead of time, and not to be worried (I'm not dropping out of school, on drugs, etc..). I'll tell them my news, show them how happy I am about this decision, and tell them I will be willing to answer any questions if I am able, but I do not wish to get into any arguments. I will listen to any concerns they have, but I will not get defensive.

If your family brings up legitimate concerns you have not heard before, research their questions and/or ask a priest about them. Show your family that you DO care about them and want them to be comfortable with your decision, but don't let them take away the joy that is in you and your desire to know God even better.

I've also considered writing my parents a letter, but I am not sure about that.
__________________
Will be confirmed at the Easter Vigil Mass 2012!
  #5  
Old Nov 24, '11, 1:05 pm
Mberg3's Avatar
Mberg3 Mberg3 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: April 26, 2011
Posts: 111
Religion: Catholic Convert with Eastern Catholic Spirituality
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

I DO want them to understand, but I feel like they wont take the effort to even ask questions. To them it would be like selling my soul to the devil or turning my back on the family. It doesn't help that I am living with them at the moment: if there was the distance I think it would make telling them easier.
  #6  
Old Nov 24, '11, 1:14 pm
lutherlic's Avatar
lutherlic lutherlic is offline
Regular Member
Forum Supporter
 
Join Date: December 23, 2009
Posts: 780
Religion: Catholic (Feb 2010)
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mberg3 View Post
I definatly want to tell them... its just the how that is bothering me. Are there any strategies to bringing it up or should i just do it. I know that there are several converts on this site and maybe some could give me advice.
Tell them that you love them and always will, without qualification. Thank them for raising you in a faith filled environment and for always supporting your journey. Ask for their understanding, if not acceptance, of your journey as it has led you to an unexpected and surprising path to the Catholic Church.

They may surprise you, but be prepared for anger and hurt. Reiterate that you love them and are not trying to convert them, that you continue to respect their faith, but this is your path. Answer their questions or get back to them if you don't know the answer.

Eventually they will accept it, maybe quickly or maybe not. Eventually they may change some of their anti-Catholic misconceptions.

BTW - I converted from the ELCA after 56 years as a "cradle Lutheran". Of course, ELCA and WELS are worlds apart.
__________________
My blog: ConvertJournal.com
One guy's journey in the Catholic Church
  #7  
Old Nov 24, '11, 1:18 pm
Mberg3's Avatar
Mberg3 Mberg3 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: April 26, 2011
Posts: 111
Religion: Catholic Convert with Eastern Catholic Spirituality
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

Thank you Lutherlic
Yes they defiantly are WORLDS apart. My family already knows that I am going to RCIA classes and some of that hurt and anger is already building over that. I had hoped that they would respect my decision early on, but if the early reactions are anything to go by, they wont react well at all.
  #8  
Old Nov 24, '11, 2:29 pm
Swiss Guy's Avatar
Swiss Guy Swiss Guy is offline
Regular Member
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: May 14, 2011
Posts: 4,001
Religion: Christian in the Holy Catholic Church
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

Well, I pretty much told my family I wanted to be Catholic from my Christmas list this year. But I wouldn't bring it up unless religion is talked about and you're brought into it. Then I'd bring it up and explain why to your family. Luckily for me, I'm in the ELCA. Good luck on your journey and God bless.
__________________




*I converted to Catholicism on the Easter Vigil on 3/30/13. Some posts may contain information that I believe is incorrect or was poorly understood. Usually someone else is a better source for a Catholic voice.
  #9  
Old Nov 24, '11, 3:10 pm
Matthew Holford's Avatar
Matthew Holford Matthew Holford is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: August 15, 2010
Posts: 2,921
Religion: Latin Catholic
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mberg3 View Post
I was raised in a very strict WELS family and grew up opposing the Church. After meeting a Catholic girl and looking into things in more depth I have decided to join the Catholic Church and am currently in RCIA. The problem is that I have not told my family yet and I feel as though I would be disowned if I told them of my choice. They are not interested in hearing any arguments for Catholicism because they feel as though the Papacy is the anti-christ and that the Church is the Whore of Babylon. What are my options?
Can you please tell me what WELS stands for?
  #10  
Old Nov 24, '11, 3:18 pm
ora_pro_nobis's Avatar
ora_pro_nobis ora_pro_nobis is offline
Regular Member
Book Club Member
 
Join Date: February 11, 2006
Posts: 839
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod?

Not a catfish, nor a river in Austria, at any rate!
__________________
Who is She that comes forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array?


The Legion of Mary group is now open.
Please join us.
  #11  
Old Nov 24, '11, 3:29 pm
Mberg3's Avatar
Mberg3 Mberg3 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: April 26, 2011
Posts: 111
Religion: Catholic Convert with Eastern Catholic Spirituality
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Matthew Holford View Post
Can you please tell me what WELS stands for?
If uu want to know what dvds stand for peruse the http://www.wels.net/what-we-believe/questions-answers section
  #12  
Old Nov 24, '11, 3:30 pm
Jeffgo Jeffgo is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: October 11, 2010
Posts: 129
Religion: Catholic (Roman Rite)
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

Well, if it makes it any easier, if they know you are in RCIA, they may be expecting this (granted, a lot of folks who attend RCIA do it just as an inquiry, but still...)

You need to tell them about your entering the Church. For one thing, it's the right thing to do (Jesus said that whoever denies Him before men, He will deny before the Father...don't be afraid of professing your Catholic faith!) Also, they're going to find out about it eventually, one way or another, and if they find out that you've been hiding it from them, that would probably go over worse than if you simply be frank and tell them.

I would suggest avoiding getting into a debate with them when you tell them. I imagine that emotions would be running high, and a debate could easily get out of control, and, as you said, they don't seem to be open to discussing things. There will be plenty of other occasions to witness the Catholic faith to them and explain your reasons/convictions for converting. In the long run, if they seem resistant to discussing things, you could always write a letter discussing your reasons for converting (David Currie did that, and it ended up turning into a rather good apologetics book ) People tend to be more receptive to books, recorded talks, and other forms of pre-recorded media that they can't get into an argument with.

They may see it as turning your back on the family or abandoning your faith, but perhaps it would be helpful to turn that reasoning on its head and, first, thank them for giving you a solid Christian upbringing. Explain that you are doing this out of obedience to that same Christian faith, that you have become intellectually convinced that the Catholic Church is, in fact, the Church that Jesus founded, and that you feel compelled by conscience and obedience to Christ to join it (but, again, don't let it turn into a heated argument).

I converted to the Catholic Church after leaving the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. However, I had it pretty easy; my parents were pretty supportive of me (one of them still attends the LCMS, the other hasn't been a church attendee since his childhood). It also helped because I had stopped being Lutheran 5 1/2 months earlier, and my parents knew that I was looking to convert to either the Catholic Church or the Orthodox Church.
  #13  
Old Nov 24, '11, 6:01 pm
Mberg3's Avatar
Mberg3 Mberg3 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: April 26, 2011
Posts: 111
Religion: Catholic Convert with Eastern Catholic Spirituality
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeffgo View Post
Well, if it makes it any easier, if they know you are in RCIA, they may be expecting this (granted, a lot of folks who attend RCIA do it just as an inquiry, but still...)

You need to tell them about your entering the Church. For one thing, it's the right thing to do (Jesus said that whoever denies Him before men, He will deny before the Father...don't be afraid of professing your Catholic faith!) Also, they're going to find out about it eventually, one way or another, and if they find out that you've been hiding it from them, that would probably go over worse than if you simply be frank and tell them.

I would suggest avoiding getting into a debate with them when you tell them. I imagine that emotions would be running high, and a debate could easily get out of control, and, as you said, they don't seem to be open to discussing things. There will be plenty of other occasions to witness the Catholic faith to them and explain your reasons/convictions for converting. In the long run, if they seem resistant to discussing things, you could always write a letter discussing your reasons for converting (David Currie did that, and it ended up turning into a rather good apologetics book ) People tend to be more receptive to books, recorded talks, and other forms of pre-recorded media that they can't get into an argument with.

They may see it as turning your back on the family or abandoning your faith, but perhaps it would be helpful to turn that reasoning on its head and, first, thank them for giving you a solid Christian upbringing. Explain that you are doing this out of obedience to that same Christian faith, that you have become intellectually convinced that the Catholic Church is, in fact, the Church that Jesus founded, and that you feel compelled by conscience and obedience to Christ to join it (but, again, don't let it turn into a heated argument).

I converted to the Catholic Church after leaving the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. However, I had it pretty easy; my parents were pretty supportive of me (one of them still attends the LCMS, the other hasn't been a church attendee since his childhood). It also helped because I had stopped being Lutheran 5 1/2 months earlier, and my parents knew that I was looking to convert to either the Catholic Church or the Orthodox Church.
I hope so. Unfortuately my parents are very devout in the WELS and I was seen as an expert on Lutheran apology and I was highly pushed into trying to be a pastor. Because of this I think they will take it harder than most.
  #14  
Old Nov 24, '11, 10:29 pm
ComeHome2Rome ComeHome2Rome is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: November 23, 2010
Posts: 716
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mberg3 View Post
I was raised in a very strict WELS family and grew up opposing the Church. After meeting a Catholic girl and looking into things in more depth I have decided to join the Catholic Church and am currently in RCIA. The problem is that I have not told my family yet and I feel as though I would be disowned if I told them of my choice. They are not interested in hearing any arguments for Catholicism because they feel as though the Papacy is the anti-christ and that the Church is the Whore of Babylon. What are my options?
WELS: Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod

I had no idea what WELS was & had to Google it.

Loving honesty with your family. I am the only person in my side of the family to have become a Catholic and am currently in the living room with very devote non-Catholic Christians. They really feel that the Catholic Church isn't even Christian. And a relative by married here with me now sats that he actually left the Catholic Church to become a Christian. There was so much tension and hurt feelings on both sides; however, honesty is the best way to approach the required change of family.
  #15  
Old Nov 25, '11, 7:56 am
saribee's Avatar
saribee saribee is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: October 18, 2011
Posts: 89
Religion: Denominational Mutt Coming Home to Catholicism
Default Re: Coming into the Church from a Strict WELS Family - Family Issues

If they already know you are in RCIA, they are kind of already prepared for this. One way you can show them that you still care about them is to invite them to your confirmation. This is an important time of your life. Some people have told me it's like getting married in a way. You'd want your family at your wedding!

I was anti-Catholic for a long time. With a lot of prayer from a friend I eventually turned around. It takes time for hearts to be softened. Keep praying for your family.
__________________
Will be confirmed at the Easter Vigil Mass 2012!
Closed Thread

Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Non-Catholic Religions

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search Thread
Search Thread:

Advanced Search
Display

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Prayer Intentions

Most Active Groups
8459Meet and talk,talk talk
Last by: Kellyreneeomara
5147CAF Prayer Warriors Support Group
Last by: 77stanthony77
4424Devotion to the Sorrowful Mother
Last by: DesertSister62
4037OCD/Scrupulosity Group
Last by: eschator83
3863SOLITUDE
Last by: beth40n2
3742Let's empty Purgatory
Last by: daughterstm
3322Petitions Before the Blessed Sacrament
Last by: Amiciel
3285Poems and Reflections
Last by: tonyg
3224Catholic Vegetarians & Vegans
Last by: 4elise
3112For seniors and shut- ins
Last by: Kellyreneeomara



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 8:39 pm.

Home RSS Feeds - Home - Archive - Top

Copyright © 2004-2014, Catholic Answers.