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  #1  
Old Nov 24, '11, 10:07 pm
LostInDarkness LostInDarkness is offline
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Default Does God hate me?

I'm 17 and have struggled with masturbation for about five years now. I am thoroughly repulsed and disgusted with myself, and honestly, I think I hate myself. I'm a swimmer, so I have plenty of exercise...to relieve the tension and get rid of the sexual energy...but on breaks, like Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, Spring Break, etc...there's nothing I can do.

I have confessed this sin before...but I'm always so ashamed, and really, plain prideful, to admit to it again. I'm working on this, and am going to confession at the next possible date. But every time I relapse, I feel so helpless and worthless. I pray to God to give me the strength to get through this and to help me stop, but I so strongly believe that I am worthless to Him, that I can't accept that He might be trying to help me. I'm convinced that God hates me, and never wants me in His family. Who could want a worthless, disgusting thing like me...no one.

I've tried pain...going to far as to start cutting myself every time it happened...I still do that...but I keep relapsing...still!!! I don't know what else to do...there's no reason for me to go on if God hates me, which is the only reason I'm still trying.

What can I do?

Please help...
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  #2  
Old Nov 24, '11, 10:17 pm
Corpus Cristi Corpus Cristi is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

I'm so sorry to hear this. Really, I am.

I think that you are under attack from the enemy and that you need to reach out to God, who loves you deeply and infintely. It is the enemy who hates you. It is he who put the thought in your mind (however it got there) that God (who is love) hates you. God does not hate anyone or anything that he made.

As for the sin you're commiting, don't let it weigh you down. Keep confessing it. If you have to confess it every week, do it. God is waiting and ready to forgive you because he's merciful. He knows that you detest your sin as much as he does and he wants to help you overcome your sin, but you have to reach out to him in prayer. You have to accept that he loves you no matter what. Jesus tells a parable of a sheep that wanders from the herd a shepherd is watching. This good shepherd leaves 99 sheep to seek this lost one. If God calls those who wander away from him and are already far off, how much more does he seek to help and assist those who wish and strive to overcome the sin in their lives? God loves you. Never doubt that.

*hug*
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If I'm not in a state of grace, I pray the lord to put me there, and If I am in a state of grace, then I pray the lord to keep me there.

~St. Joan of Arc
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  #3  
Old Nov 24, '11, 10:25 pm
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ivebeenshown ivebeenshown is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

He doesn't hate you. In fact he loves you so much that he sent Christ to die for you, and he left you with a wonderful Mother (the Church) who can give you comfort during all hardships, and lead you to righteousness.

In this time with your problem the best thing you could do is to attend Mass, receive the sacraments of reconciliation and the Eucharist, pray to the Father, and even pray the Rosary. Always keep God in your heart and thoughts.

As one who has been able to leave masturbation behind, I will share some advice -- masturbation never comes as an impulse without a sexual thought. What we need to do is recognize the tempting thoughts and shun them immediately. Call on your Blessed Mother, your Almighty Father, or your Lord and Savior Jesus, and invoke the Most Powerful Holy Spirit to empower you, and the devil will flee, and the thoughts will leave you. If you do not dwell on the tempting thoughts or fantasies, and refuse to entertain them, they cannot blossom to their ultimate fruition. And the more you can recognize the temptation and pray for the grace of God, you will grow stronger in resistance and chastity, and experience great spiritual benefit.

Turning to pain is not the thing to do... except maybe turning to the pain of the Lord on the Cross, because that pain brought salvation and merited for us all grace which is needed to be pure. Focus on his pain and love always.

Peace and grace of God be with you...
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  #4  
Old Nov 24, '11, 10:47 pm
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Anthony V Anthony V is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

As a young person living in the 21st century, it's easy to get caught up in your problems when you don't see results. And this is definitely understandable-- it's how society treats the notion of time nowadays.
When it comes to the matter of struggling with inordinate attachments of any sort, you have to be patient with your own sins, just as God is. The deals a great amount of humility in both your social and personal life. You have to submit to the will of God; Let him love you, that is. Because he does! If God did not love you, he would not have given you life.

My first suggestion for you is to go to confession every single week so as to receive our Blessed Lord in the Eucharist every week. Give God the time to transform you and heal you, though you may not immediately see results. The pinnacle of sainthood does not simply happen overnight, you see. It starts with baby steps. Be patient as God works in you, by humble by allowing God to work in your life though none of us are worthy, and have faith that God is in fact working in your life every single day that you give to him.
Now, on a psychological level, take time every single day to enjoy God. Thank him for all that he does in your life, and enjoy it! It is imperative you know that the best pleasures are those in their rightful place. If Satan were to hypothetically be given the choice to enter Heaven again, he would promptly decline. The bliss of Heaven would be torment. He knows he doesn't belong. Likewise, train yourself to know that sexual pleasures belong in marriage.
In doing so, explore the pleasures of being chaste and single. Dream of being chaste for God and giving yourself over to him as a gift. Take the time to enjoy God every day in prayer, every week in the sacraments, and every year in the liturgical high points (Easter, Holy Week, etc). Develop a love for the Eucharist. Did you know not even the angels in Heaven can boast being able to receive the Eucharist? That's a privilege restricted strictly to humans. That's how much he loves you! He is willing to feed you with his very own flesh and blood under the signs of bread and wine so as to nourish your soul. That is the greatest gift in the universe. It literally can not get better than that.
While on the topic of the Eucharist, when you go to mass, go each week with at least one or two intentions (or things to offer up to God as prayer and worship). You can make an intention during the offertory when the priest is preparing for the consecration (see link below). And then you get a second intention when you receive the Eucharist. I would have chastity as one of your intentions to offer up. This is the pinnacle of the mass, and the ultimate form of worship. It is God's gift to man!
Know that God is good, and you will love him ever the more each day. There's a quote that comes to mind, though I cannot remember the author:
"If only we took the time to know how much God truly loves us, we would all be saints!"

http://www.audiosancto.org/sermon/20...Offertory.html
__________________
Pray for me, a sinner
Anthony
St. Thomas Aquinas, lover of God, the Divine Truth, pray for us.




Disclaimer: The views expressed by this user are personal, and do not necessarily reflect the views of any Catholic Diocese, Diocesan institution, or Seminary.

Last edited by Anthony V; Nov 24, '11 at 10:57 pm.
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  #5  
Old Nov 24, '11, 11:10 pm
PbloPicasso PbloPicasso is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

Before I read through this thread I want you to know that I am 50 and I feel exactly the same way your Title says: "Does God hate me?" I'm bleeding internally, spiritually. I'll post why in a bit, but in another thread. I know that God love us. But I'm unsure as why we are feeling so down. Life has a way of slapping us in the face of adversity. I believe my suffering is to save me from eternal damnation. But in the more positive view of this it's that God is trying to save us and is working in a way that is best for us. Our desires may be bringing us down. However, God may be motivating us to make certain decisions that we might not otherwise choose, had we not been dealt a difficult hand.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LostInDarkness View Post
I'm 17 and have struggled with masturbation for about five years now. I am thoroughly repulsed and disgusted with myself, and honestly, I think I hate myself. I'm a swimmer, so I have plenty of exercise...to relieve the tension and get rid of the sexual energy...but on breaks, like Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, Spring Break, etc...there's nothing I can do.

I have confessed this sin before...but I'm always so ashamed, and really, plain prideful, to admit to it again. I'm working on this, and am going to confession at the next possible date. But every time I relapse, I feel so helpless and worthless. I pray to God to give me the strength to get through this and to help me stop, but I so strongly believe that I am worthless to Him, that I can't accept that He might be trying to help me. I'm convinced that God hates me, and never wants me in His family. Who could want a worthless, disgusting thing like me...no one.

I've tried pain...going to far as to start cutting myself every time it happened...I still do that...but I keep relapsing...still!!! I don't know what else to do...there's no reason for me to go on if God hates me, which is the only reason I'm still trying.

What can I do?

Please help...
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  #6  
Old Nov 24, '11, 11:35 pm
albarker1 albarker1 is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

God hates sin and our sin separates us from god and leaves corrupt flesh fallen world culture and the devil to contend with...the blood of Jesus covers sin so we have grace and mercy by going boldly before the throne of grace in our time of need. Because Jesus is our high priest he has been tempted in all ways and suffered like us but can atone for us because he is without sin and living in heaven...we can obtain grace and mercy by that blood and when the accuser points you out before gods judgement of righteousness that Jesus is now your mediater/ defense attorney and you may have been rightly accused but you don't plead guilty ...you plead the blood of Jesus and throw yourself at the mercy of the court! He loves you and will help you by grace and the word will renew the spirit's mind by looking up fornication scripture numbers 23 all throughout Corinthians and beyond you can memory or repetive the many scripts until the mind is renewed like god not sexually driven or condemnation prone by flesh lust and devil.doubts but spiritually driven by spiritual link in holy spirit and mercy of the mind from gods word conviction of sin redemptions of man...now you stopped the flesh by the word changing mindset and then eventually choice and the spirit of grace kept you from being under the law condemned
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  #7  
Old Nov 25, '11, 12:22 am
Lonely guy Lonely guy is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

No. God does not hate you. He may hate what you do,but not you as a person and soul. This masturbation "thing" can get out of hands very easy,believe me. I am over 50 and still having hard times to not masturbate. And when I do,I feel lousy and angry at my self. It is wrong and a sin,but you are so young and in the age when it is "normal". How to get over is a question I can't answer because if I would be able to stop my self. But even if it is a sin,and a big one,it comes with a blessing. You turn to God,and your priest,you reach out in order to find a answer. You see,sometimes a sin is the best that can happen. Why? Because it make you to pray and be in contact with God,the Church and your priest. I know I will get over my "urge" someday somehow and so will you. Keep on praying and do your best,that is what God want you to do. And don't think about it so much. There is,as far as I know,nobody who has never masturbate. Some get over it fast,some are stuck with for numerous reasons. You are not alone,and God does not hate you.
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  #8  
Old Nov 25, '11, 7:08 am
Christy Beth Christy Beth is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

If you are cutting yourself, you need help. OK, that may sound a bit harsh, but counseling from a good Christian counselorr may be in order. I know it's kind of embarassing to talk about this, but you may tell your parents about the cutting and say you want some help dealing with it. I don't know if I could talk with my parents about the masturbation, and I'm 49!!! It is a a rather a sensitive topic. And I think you need help for whatever problem is causing this.

Could swimming during breaks be possible? See if there is a school nearby that has a pool and ask if you can use it. In some cases only registered students can use it, But I've found two different pools that let in everybody. Unfortunately there are none near me. lol At one (an indoor pool in Kirkland,Washington), in order to get a locker and get in, you had to give them something like a shoe. You got it back when you gave back the key they gave.
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  #9  
Old Nov 25, '11, 7:18 am
LostInDarkness LostInDarkness is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

Thank you all for your support and advice. I've never felt so well supported, so thank you.

As to the cutting thing, I am getting help...and realize that it's destructive (duh) and counter-productive. It's getting a lot easier to not cut, because I keep telling myself that if I eliminate the self-destruction, it'll be easier to eliminate other things as well. Thank you for your concern though.

There's no way I could ever tell my parents about the masturbation. I just am not strong enough to do that...I can handle this with the help of the priest, God, St. Bernadette and the Blessed Mother...but I don't want to disappoint my parents so completely like that. They're still under the impression that I'm a good person...and I don't want to hurt them like that.

Please keep me in your prayers, if you would. I'm starting to realize that this is bigger than me...

Thank you again for your support.
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  #10  
Old Nov 25, '11, 7:22 am
TheRealJuliane TheRealJuliane is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LostInDarkness View Post
I'm 17 and have struggled with masturbation for about five years now. I am thoroughly repulsed and disgusted with myself, and honestly, I think I hate myself. I'm a swimmer, so I have plenty of exercise...to relieve the tension and get rid of the sexual energy...but on breaks, like Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, Spring Break, etc...there's nothing I can do.

I have confessed this sin before...but I'm always so ashamed, and really, plain prideful, to admit to it again. I'm working on this, and am going to confession at the next possible date. But every time I relapse, I feel so helpless and worthless. I pray to God to give me the strength to get through this and to help me stop, but I so strongly believe that I am worthless to Him, that I can't accept that He might be trying to help me. I'm convinced that God hates me, and never wants me in His family. Who could want a worthless, disgusting thing like me...no one.

I've tried pain...going to far as to start cutting myself every time it happened...I still do that...but I keep relapsing...still!!! I don't know what else to do...there's no reason for me to go on if God hates me, which is the only reason I'm still trying.

What can I do?

Please help...
Instead of cutting, pick up a rosary and start praying! Mary will help you! And don't fear confession, but make a sincere confession. Are you using porn? You have to stop that in whatever way you need to, if you are. Get some blocking software and give the password to a trusted friend. There is at least one group here at CAF specifically for porn addictions.

Defacing your body and giving yourself pain is not something God would want you to do. He does love you but he hates your sins. Do not be afraid to confess this sin! Listen to what the priest tells you. Remember to pray the rosary, it is a powerful tool against Satan!
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  #11  
Old Nov 25, '11, 7:25 am
TheRealJuliane TheRealJuliane is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LostInDarkness View Post
Thank you all for your support and advice. I've never felt so well supported, so thank you.

As to the cutting thing, I am getting help...and realize that it's destructive (duh) and counter-productive. It's getting a lot easier to not cut, because I keep telling myself that if I eliminate the self-destruction, it'll be easier to eliminate other things as well. Thank you for your concern though.

There's no way I could ever tell my parents about the masturbation. I just am not strong enough to do that...I can handle this with the help of the priest, God, St. Bernadette and the Blessed Mother...but I don't want to disappoint my parents so completely like that. They're still under the impression that I'm a good person...and I don't want to hurt them like that.

Please keep me in your prayers, if you would. I'm starting to realize that this is bigger than me...

Thank you again for your support.
Even good people go through temptations. You're not a bad person, you're a saint in training!



Hail Mary, full of grace
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of they womb
Jesus.

Holy Mary, mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.
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  #12  
Old Nov 25, '11, 10:18 am
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Nelka Nelka is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LostInDarkness View Post
Does God hate me?
No!

He loves you but your sins tear at His heart.

You must pray, pray, pray.
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"As you see Me in this chalice, so I dwell in your heart." Divine Mercy of Jesus.
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  #13  
Old Nov 25, '11, 7:55 pm
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Armyvet007 Armyvet007 is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

LostInDarkness-

I just sent you a private message. Please read it and know I am praying for you.
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  #14  
Old Nov 25, '11, 8:05 pm
LostInDarkness LostInDarkness is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Armyvet007 View Post
LostInDarkness-

I just sent you a private message. Please read it and know I am praying for you.
Armyvet: I read your message. I am getting help with the self-injury, and am hoping that the elimination of this evil will let me concentrate on more important areas... Thank you for taking the time to remind me that I am not alone, and for taking the time to make me accountable.
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  #15  
Old Nov 25, '11, 8:23 pm
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Armyvet007 Armyvet007 is offline
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Default Re: Does God hate me?

Thank you for showing me, through your post, that I still have work to do in regards to my struggle with Pride. God bless.
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