Unity Candle

funkyhorn · #1 Jul 2, '04, 11:25 pm

I've heard that the ritual of the Unity Candle in a Catholic wedding is strongly discouraged, however, the priest who will be marrying my fiancee and me seems very open to it. Is this something that we should consider doing or should we avoid it? Are there any Catholic documents that address this issue?

The Hidden Life · #2 Jul 2, '04, 11:33 pm

This is from WeddingDetails.com under Roman Catholic Traditions.

Candles

The use of the Unity (memory) candle is often discouraged. (However, each parish priest will make suggestions on this; follow his direction.) The United State Conference of Catholic Bishops has deemed the text of the symbol of the candle as faulty symbolism within the ceremony. If a Unity candle is desired, it is often suggested to build a ceremony within the rehearsal dinner celebration.

A Candlelight blessing has been used in both Catholic and Protestant churches. It is acceptable because of the spiritual context of the blessing. In the Catholic tradition, the candle (flame) is a symbol of Christ, the light of the world. The Scriptures given confirm this concept, and are cause for reflection among the guests.

The Unity candle that is lit by the bride and groom often symbolizes their separate lives being joined together, thus extinguishing the separate lights of the side candles and the combining to light the single large center candle. The Candlelight Blessing is a confirmation of that symbolism, and often follows the lighting of the Unity Candle.

I'm not exactly sure what the reasoning would be from the USCCB but I did read something about how decorative candles are not allowed and that the number of candles near the altar signifies something specific, although I'm not sure what. But this was just from a two-second google search, so I'm sure there's a good reason somewhere. Happy wedding!

karisue · #3 Jul 2, '04, 11:35 pm

The history and theology of the unity candle springs from Hallmark, circa 1967. At least that's what a priest told me when I was in college. I personally don't care for the unity candle, but that's just me. The symbolism seems a bit redundant. Isn't the whole nuptual Mass about the joining of two lives? Do we really need the Unity Candle to make this point?

There are so many other cool nuptual traditions throughout the world to choose from that are liturgically correct. How about something with a twist that will make your wedding unique? Example: I have a friend that used the Bosnian traditions at her wedding -- she learned of it in Medjugorje. It involved both couples holding a large wooden crucifix while exchanging vows (I think). The crucifix is later displayed in the couple's home. I thought it was great.

Again, this is just my 2 cents, and you get what you pay for!

funkyhorn · #4 Jul 2, '04, 11:46 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by karisue

...How about something with a twist that will make your wedding unique? Example: I have a friend that used the Bosnian traditions at her wedding -- she learned of it in Medjugorje. It involved both couples holding a large wooden crucifix while exchanging vows (I think). The crucifix is later displayed in the couple's home. I thought it was great...

Ooooo, I LIKE that idea! Thanks!

ThyKingdomCome · #5 Jul 3, '04, 5:32 am

If you do end up using the unity candle (at mass or some other time), make sure to blow out the 2 smaller candles. I have seen and heard of unity candle lightings where the priest or minister lit the large candle, then kept the two small candles lit, saying that this represents the individuality of the bride and groom. This flies in the face of the "two become one" indissolubility of marriage.

karisue · #6 Jul 3, '04, 6:38 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThyKingdomCome

If you do end up using the unity candle (at mass or some other time), make sure to blow out the 2 smaller candles. I have seen and heard of unity candle lightings where the priest or minister lit the large candle, then kept the two small candles lit, saying that this represents the individuality of the bride and groom. This flies in the face of the "two become one" indissolubility of marriage.

This is where it gets a bit murky. I have seen the parents of the bride and groom come to the altar to light those two side candles, somewhat ceremoniously. If this is so, then can a case be made that those two candles represent the families in which the bride and groom grew and nurtured, too? I have seen it both ways, with the candles lit and the candles blown out. The reasons for each are different. Yet another reason to ditch the Unity Candle altogether.