Catholic FAQ


Latest Threads
newest posts



Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Catholic Living > Family Life
 

Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums, the largest Catholic Community on the Web.

Here you can join over 400,000 members from around the world discussing all things Catholic. Membership is open to all, Catholic and non-Catholic alike, who seek the Truth with Charity.

To gain full access, you must register for a FREE account. Registered members are able to:
  • Submit questions about the faith to experts from Catholic Answers
  • Participate in all forum discussions
  • Communicate privately with Catholics from around the world
  • Plus join a prayer group, read with the Book Club, and much more.
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. So join our community today!

Have a question about registration or your account log-in? Just contact our Support Hotline.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search Thread Display
  #1  
Old Dec 23, '11, 9:06 am
purple_pixie purple_pixie is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: April 4, 2011
Posts: 18
Religion: floundering Catholic
Default My husband has left me

I am 25 and have a 5 month old son with my husband. He has left me. I don't even know why I am writing this on a forum or what I hope to gain. It is final, he left last night and came for another talk this morning. I know he is very upset and so do this justaid he didnt mean t before christmas. He said he has wanted to do this for the past lot of years (we have been married almost 6) and only had the courage to do it now. I have begged him for the sake of our son to use this as a wake up call and a fresh start. He is adamant he does not love me and doesn't want to even try to fix it. I am in shock, I cannot believe this is happening to me. We used to be so happy but not for a while. I have known he has not been happy and have done everything to try and help but he says he is not happy because he has known he doesnt love me. He loves our son and still wants to be a good father but doesnt love me and wants out of the marriage. I have tried everything to pursuade him to give it another go with no pressure. He says its not fair on me he cant treat me the way i want because the love is gone and I will thank him in the long run. I am in shock. 2 days before christmas.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old Dec 23, '11, 9:11 am
Mary Gail 36's Avatar
Mary Gail 36 Mary Gail 36 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: September 5, 2005
Posts: 11,309
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

I'm so sorry to hear this.


Do you have family support? Would he try counseling?

I'll pray for you and your child.
__________________
Jesus, protect and save the unborn.

The Word became flesh, He lived among us, and we saw His glory, the glory that He has from the Father as only Son of the Father, full of grace and truth.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old Dec 23, '11, 9:14 am
Castello Castello is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: September 29, 2011
Posts: 1,476
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

First thing, I am praying for your family.

Second, fly to Jesus - go to Mass today if you can. Take refuge in the Sacraments.

Have you talked to your Priest?

Third - find a weekend near you and schedule it. Ask your husband to do this for your son http://www.retrouvaille.ie/

Last, pray for your husband (is he Catholic?). The Grace of God to remind him that marriage is not always about love, the strongest marriages are those that make it through the dry times when love is gone - sacrifice and commitment and the duty of a man to his wife and God are the rocks of a good marriage.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old Dec 23, '11, 9:15 am
purple_pixie purple_pixie is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: April 4, 2011
Posts: 18
Religion: floundering Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

Thank you. My family are fantastic im staying with them tonight but theres not really anything they can do or say to help. I dont think he would try counselling as he just doesnt love me and seems pretty clear he just wants out.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old Dec 23, '11, 9:23 am
purple_pixie purple_pixie is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: April 4, 2011
Posts: 18
Religion: floundering Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

he hates anything to do with the church. I think our row actually started over me complaining of him never coming to church with me and our son. I take him every week on my own. I dont think there is any salvaging to be had. Thank you for your prayers. I don't know how I will get through this. I love him so much.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old Dec 23, '11, 9:28 am
theagnosticcath theagnosticcath is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: February 25, 2011
Posts: 37
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

I'm Really sorry to hear about this, i really can't imagine what you must be going through at this time.

I'll be praying for you and your wee one

God Bless and have strength
__________________
'If we wish to have the love of the Divine Heart as our guest, we must empty and detach our heart from its affection for creatures and for ourselves.'

St. Margaret Mary Alacoque
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old Dec 23, '11, 9:39 am
Luvz2travel's Avatar
Luvz2travel Luvz2travel is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: June 7, 2010
Posts: 1,536
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

He sounds a bit selfish to me. Leaving you out of the picture he's also leaving his son 2 days before Christmas. I'd say you're better off without a guy like that but then again I don't know his side of the story. You have my prayers though. I guess I'm a little sensitive to it because my friends husband left her on Christmas eve and I saw what it did to her.
__________________
Life is what you make it.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old Dec 23, '11, 10:13 am
tbcrawford's Avatar
tbcrawford tbcrawford is offline
Forum Elder
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: April 2, 2009
Posts: 159,715
Religion: catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

Quote:
Originally Posted by purple_pixie View Post
I am 25 and have a 5 month old son with my husband. He has left me. I don't even know why I am writing this on a forum or what I hope to gain. It is final, he left last night and came for another talk this morning. I know he is very upset and so do this justaid he didnt mean t before christmas. He said he has wanted to do this for the past lot of years (we have been married almost 6) and only had the courage to do it now. I have begged him for the sake of our son to use this as a wake up call and a fresh start. He is adamant he does not love me and doesn't want to even try to fix it. I am in shock, I cannot believe this is happening to me. We used to be so happy but not for a while. I have known he has not been happy and have done everything to try and help but he says he is not happy because he has known he doesnt love me. He loves our son and still wants to be a good father but doesnt love me and wants out of the marriage. I have tried everything to pursuade him to give it another go with no pressure. He says its not fair on me he cant treat me the way i want because the love is gone and I will thank him in the long run. I am in shock. 2 days before christmas.
I am so sorry my friend.(((HUGS))) for you xo
It is cruel the way he has done this and my heart goes out to you.It is never nice for any couple to split up but as you say two days before Christmas.....I am so sad for you.
I will pray for you.Why not start a prayer thread in the prayer intentions forum.I am sure many of us prayer warriors would be happy to pray for you and with you.

I hope you have family nearby who can comfort you and help you emtionally and practically over the Christmas period.I would suggest you make an appointment to chat to your priest about what has happened I am sure he will give you good spiritual advice.

I pray he will open his heart and mind,that God may guide him.I hope he misses you and your child over the Christmas holidays and this may make him soften his heart.

Eventually I pray he will agree to go to counselling with you that your marriage may be saved.

With God all things are possible.God loves you and He will get you through this very tough time emotionally.

You are in my thoughts and prayers

God bless

Our Blessed Lady please intercede for our friend
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
__________________

"Whatsoever you do for the least of my brothers and sisters you do unto me"
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old Dec 23, '11, 10:30 am
anodos's Avatar
anodos anodos is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: February 17, 2011
Posts: 1,088
Religion: Roman Catholic (ex-Protestant)
Default Re: My husband has left me

Quote:
Originally Posted by purple_pixie View Post
I am 25 and have a 5 month old son with my husband. He has left me. I don't even know why I am writing this on a forum or what I hope to gain. It is final, he left last night and came for another talk this morning. I know he is very upset and so do this justaid he didnt mean t before christmas. He said he has wanted to do this for the past lot of years (we have been married almost 6) and only had the courage to do it now. I have begged him for the sake of our son to use this as a wake up call and a fresh start. He is adamant he does not love me and doesn't want to even try to fix it. I am in shock, I cannot believe this is happening to me. We used to be so happy but not for a while. I have known he has not been happy and have done everything to try and help but he says he is not happy because he has known he doesnt love me. He loves our son and still wants to be a good father but doesnt love me and wants out of the marriage. I have tried everything to pursuade him to give it another go with no pressure. He says its not fair on me he cant treat me the way i want because the love is gone and I will thank him in the long run. I am in shock. 2 days before christmas.
I am so sorry...you must feel very broken and forsaken right now, even if you had an idea that it was coming. I will pray for you and your young son and your husband.
__________________


Ah Lord! do not withdraw,
Lest want of aw
Make Sinne appeare;
And when thou dost but shine lesse cleare,
Say, that thou art not here.

George Herbert, "A Parodie"
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old Dec 23, '11, 10:31 am
styrgwillidar styrgwillidar is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: December 23, 2009
Posts: 2,684
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

I am so sorry this is happening to your family. My wife left me two years ago after 21 years of marriage for the same reason. She said she no longer loved me, wasn't sure if she ever had, no particular reason or cause to it.

Would your husband be willing to go see a psychiatrist or therapist on his own? It may be useful to him. He could be suffering from depression.

www.depressionfallout.org

I found several of Anne Sheffield's books and some others she recommends useful.

I will be praying for you.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old Dec 23, '11, 10:42 am
KathleenGee's Avatar
KathleenGee KathleenGee is offline
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: September 15, 2009
Posts: 9,266
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

It is true he may be suffering from depression. He may have other problems as well. And I have the sense that he is troubled by a number of things, but that basically he comes across selfish....and may have other distractions.

Yes, go to your parish priest. If at all possible, if your parents are open, to see about being with them.

Being this indifferent to you, and with your baby, makes me wonder what kind of father he would be...treating you so differently, letting both of you go without shelter,...and saying he wants to be a good father.

Find shelter and wait it out for awhile....I will definitely remember you in prayer....
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old Dec 23, '11, 11:06 am
SurlyMermaid's Avatar
SurlyMermaid SurlyMermaid is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: October 31, 2011
Posts: 1,300
Default Re: My husband has left me

I'm so sorry. I will pray for you.
__________________
“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”
― Mother Teresa


http://convertconvent.blogspot.com
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old Dec 23, '11, 11:06 am
Carolus Martell's Avatar
Carolus Martell Carolus Martell is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: April 23, 2011
Posts: 554
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

Any guy that would do that is a total slug...you should thank God for your good fortune. You have to make his desertion legally official so when you get your life together he can't come back to haunt you demanding this or that. May the Lord blessings be with you and your son.
__________________
Fear God and dread naught.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old Dec 23, '11, 4:24 pm
purple_pixie purple_pixie is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: April 4, 2011
Posts: 18
Religion: floundering Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

I know it sounds like he is a complete *** but he really is not. He does not want to hurt me but truely believes this is the right thing to do. He did not leave me with no shelter but moved to his mothers. I was left in the house but cannot bear to be there with our stockings all hanging on the mantelpiece. He could very well be depressed. His mother thinks he could be. But he says he is depressed because he has known fora long time he does not love me and life is too short to spend another 10 years putting on a face as he has been doing. I just cant believe all these years have been a lie like he says. Every time we made love, was that a lie? He said he felt this way long before our son was born. But he said he shared my wish to have lots of babies together, another one before our boy is 2. Why would he say that? My family are so supportive, I am blessed to come from a large and religious extended family and am staying with my parent over christmas. I appreciate your kind words they are very touching at this time when I havt even spoke to friends of what has happened.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old Dec 23, '11, 8:38 pm
TheRealJuliane TheRealJuliane is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: October 11, 2010
Posts: 19,026
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: My husband has left me

Oh my. What a rotten thing to do to you and your little boy. I am so glad that you have family to take you in so you won't be alone and staring at the Christmas decorations!

I will add you to my prayers, dear sister in Christ. I am so sorry this has happened to you.

Reply With Quote
Reply

Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Catholic Living > Family Life

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search Thread
Search Thread:

Advanced Search
Display

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Prayer Intentions

Most Active Groups
8570Meet and talk,talk talk
Last by: SueZee
5243CAF Prayer Warriors Support Group
Last by: James_OPL
4436Devotion to the Sorrowful Mother
Last by: DesertSister62
4037OCD/Scrupulosity Group
Last by: eschator83
3901Let's empty Purgatory
Last by: RJB
3877SOLITUDE
Last by: beth40n2
3470Petitions Before the Blessed Sacrament
Last by: grateful_child
3320Poems and Reflections
Last by: PathWalker
3237Catholic Vegetarians & Vegans
Last by: 4elise
3172For seniors and shut- ins
Last by: SueZee



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 7:05 pm.

Home RSS Feeds - Home - Archive - Top

Copyright © 2004-2014, Catholic Answers.