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  #136  
Old Feb 21, '12, 8:17 pm
Boatswain2PA Boatswain2PA is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

Also realize there is a big difference between "still believing in it" and "being able to live up to those beliefs."

I would say most of the people on these boards, and perhaps even a majority of Americans, "still believe" that abstaining until marriage is the best choice to make.

I teach it to my children, and while they may likely be thinking I am a hypocrite, I look at it more from the "I'm trying to keep you from making the same mistakes I made in my life."

I think abstaining until marriage, and then giving your spouse that one gift that you can only give once, should be your goal. However, if you don't make that goal then realize you are human (just like the rest of us). I certainly won't judge you for it, and neither should anyone else. That is up to God...but remember, He sent his Son to forgive you of your sins.

Keep up the good fight!!
  #137  
Old Feb 21, '12, 8:20 pm
hsmomforlife hsmomforlife is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mt_gooseberry View Post
When I was 22, I was a bitter virgin. On one hand, I honestly wanted to save myself for marriage. But EVERYONE around me had been having sex since high school or earlier, and they were enjoying it. I was getting lonely, bored, and scared that I would never find The One. Just before turning 23, I decided it wasn't worth it to wait and I lost my virginity to what I thought would be a one-night-stand. Even though I ended up marrying that one-night-stand, not waiting for marriage is possibly the biggest regret of my life.
Different details but the end result is the same!! You will never regret saving yourself...you may regret NOT saving yourself...so DON'T give in! Virginity is a present that you give to your spouse. When you feel the 'urge' think of 'her' on your wedding night and the gift that you will give her being able to say that you have ignored your bodily urges and have saved yourself for the love of her! Remember that God has a plan and that HE knows the exact timing for everything to work out according to His plan!
Friends aren't always there for you, they come and go, but your spouse...that's a lifelong devotion that you should remember to honor. I tell my boys that they need to remember to be leven for the bread...they need to be the thing that brings their friends 'up' to be better people...
I also tell them to choose their spouse wisely, because their wife will be the one who will or will not help their children understand Catholicism...
  #138  
Old Feb 21, '12, 11:00 pm
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Shannon46 Shannon46 is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

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Originally Posted by fgh_123 View Post
Just asking as I'm feeling very down at the moment and need some affirmation that I'm not just an out of touch person on this issue.

I'm the only person I know barring a few people who abstain for purely cultural reasons, that holds true to the idea of abstainence. This is true even in the church I go to.

I'm 22, so not a spring chicken by any stretch of the imagination and though it makes me look weak, I must confess that my faith is being tested.

I was bought up by Catholic parents. They were easy going, allowed me to make my own decisions etc, so the decision to actually abstain from sex has been a cross I've made for my own back.

I believe wholeheartedly in the idea of love, with which comes of holding yourself for that one special person. I still do, and even though I am in a very promiscuous setting (university) and though temptation has very nearly gotten hold of me manys a time, I've been able to keep to it.

However as mentioned before, I haven't met ANYONE who holds the same values as me. Everyone I know indulges in it, Catholic or not.

Does anyone of my generation still believe in the idea of no sex before marriage, or am I a relic with antiquated views?

I know it sounds very petty and selfish to be thinking about myself in such a way, but it's gnawing away at me insidiously. Making me doubt myself. The odd reactions and jokes I get from people I can take, but I want to know that I'm doing the right thing, not just some childlike notion of love.

Thanks
Sex before marriage has been known to be a sin, your 22 and have your whole life to look for the right person. I'm 46 and still hope to find that special someone.
  #139  
Old Feb 23, '12, 1:36 pm
thewanderer thewanderer is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

Hey! Just so you know, I'm 23 and definitely a believer. I can imagine how difficult it can be to hold firm without the support of any of your peers... I realize this might not be feasable, but one good way to help find that support can be through attending a catholic college. There are a bunch in the states that are truly conifers to the teachings of the church. I realize, as you are in England, that this might not be possible, or, at the very least that it would be difficult. Me and my family have lived in Ireland since 1997. I just recently graduated from a catholic college in CA. Trust me though, it is a real blessing to be able to belong to a community of young people who actually share your beliefs and ideals. Apart from that, the only other group I can think of would be Youth 2000. I ran into them in Ireland a few times, and I've heard they have a fairly strong community in England too. I hope this helps!
  #140  
Old Feb 24, '12, 11:35 pm
GerberGEEK GerberGEEK is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

I'm in the same boat I am always being pulled into argument by friends (religious and non-religious) about why I am still a virgin and 21 years old.
The point is, there are more of us, a lot of us, and it is not only our choice but God's choice and reason for us being the person we are and with prayers, and the right mind set that everything happens for a reason, God will help and guide us to find the perfect person that we will be able to live our earthly life with, as well as spiritual life with from now to the end of time.
  #141  
Old Feb 25, '12, 4:30 am
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MissRose73 MissRose73 is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

I am a bit older than the OP, and still believe in no sex before marriage too. I do not think it is shameful to wait.
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  #142  
Old Feb 25, '12, 10:03 pm
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onjac onjac is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

Nope. Even though my thoughts do stray a bit, I still believe in this. I'm almost 22 btw.
  #143  
Old Feb 25, '12, 10:10 pm
fayfay fayfay is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

im only 14 and im a girl but i know what you mean. High school kids are horrible. My friends are already getting extremely sexual. I want to wait but i dont think im going to be able to hold on. Im already being pitted with alot of temptations. My mom is extremely religious though, and (in my opinion) over protective. Shes just trying to protect me and keep me innocent though, i understand.
  #144  
Old Feb 26, '12, 11:56 am
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jmcrae jmcrae is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fayfay View Post
im only 14 and im a girl but i know what you mean. High school kids are horrible. My friends are already getting extremely sexual. I want to wait but i dont think im going to be able to hold on. Im already being pitted with alot of temptations. My mom is extremely religious though, and (in my opinion) over protective. Shes just trying to protect me and keep me innocent though, i understand.
Be grateful that your Mom isn't one of the people pressuring you to have sex at a young age - in a lot of families today, the parents pressure the kids to have sex young, to fit in or whatever.

Your Mom is the kind who will help you find ways to hold on, even when it seems like you just can't. She's on your side - which is nice to see.
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  #145  
Old Mar 5, '12, 7:32 pm
Klizzaus Klizzaus is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

I know what you mean. It's an isolating feeling. Aside from taking solace in your faith, it feels like there is little reward in our lifestyle. I know God is happy that I'm choosing this path though.

Also, when I told one of my female friends about this, she responded with "Wow. You are a really good guy. You know that?" I know I will one day be very happy with my decision! Stay strong.
  #146  
Old Mar 6, '12, 7:03 pm
Sapphire1022 Sapphire1022 is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

I'm 25...I just got married 4 months ago to the love of my life, and we BOTH were virgins on our wedding night. It was certainly hard sometimes to wait for marriage...but I always looked at my sexuality as something too precious to give to anyone except my spouse. Because we both believed that, we can now celebrate a married love that is truly our own, that is strong, that is beautiful. We share with each other what we have shared with no one else...it's truly amazing.

So hang in there!! The intimacy you will share with your future spouse is more special by far than any fleeting enjoyment sex before marriage could offer.
  #147  
Old Mar 7, '12, 8:18 am
hakuna_matata hakuna_matata is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

hello i am kind of in the same boat you are and have had many doubts at times, but it's really comforting to know that there are still men out there who want to save themselves for marriage! i'm a 20 year old female & can completely relate to you from how you were raised. now by no means was i a perfect child, but i never wanted to let my mother down, so i always stood by what she taught and told me. i can't recall a single friend in high school or in college who has kept their innocence. though my friends never give me a hard time about it cause they know it's a personal choice, it's hard to be surrounded by this kind of environment and not get caught up in it. thanks for the reassurance!!!
  #148  
Old Mar 7, '12, 11:41 am
Spyral Spyral is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

I'm 25 and married just over a year. No sex before marriage for me or my wife. Some people do believe it - don't give up hope!
  #149  
Old Mar 10, '12, 12:51 am
Jen1986 Jen1986 is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

I'm 25 and my fiance is 32 we both believe in no sex before marriage. God has created it for a wonderful purpose to be purely between husband and wife not only for the purposes of procreation but the renewal of marriage vows It is a wonderful gift and we can not wait for our wedding night to be able to share that gift we have been waiting so long to give eachother

So yes there are people still out there who believe in it
  #150  
Old Mar 10, '12, 5:56 am
JDB823 JDB823 is offline
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Default Re: No sex before marriage: Does anyone of my age still believe in it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EasterJoy View Post
This news conference at which Tim Tebow answered the questions of whether or not he was still a virgin is rather charming: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS8qqNnR3aM

As he remarked when the rest of the reporters retreated into embarrassed laughter over the interchange" "I was ready for the question; I don't think y'all were!"

Two friends of mine (Catholic ranchers who saved themselves for marriage), remarked with distain to each other about guys who "can't keep their pants on". Mind you, they got married in the mid-1980s, not the 1940s. So while some people will assume you are gay if you don't have sex before marriage, other people will assume you simply lack self-control if you do.

A woman who is saving herself for marriage may fall to temptation and ask for sex in a weak moment, but she will not assume her boyfriend is gay when he is strong and reminds her that they need to wait. She's the only one her man needs to concern himself with. The rest can assume what they want about others who stand and others who fall and still others who fall but stand strong again thereafter, but their opinions mean nothing. It is none of their business.
Tebow isn't even the only quarterback in the AFC West who believes in waiting until marriage. Philip Rivers is a devout Catholic and waited as well.

I say "waited" because Rivers married his high school sweetheart when they were still in college. They have several children.

FWIW, waiting makes marriage a bit more of a priority.

I can't say that I lived up to this ideal, but it is something worth doing. We did take "time off" before the wedding and it made our honeymoon all the more special. There is a big difference between sex before marriage and sex after, even with the same person, and even without any problems of promiscuity.

As for the poster who says that 22 is too young to get married, I can personally say that this is garbage and can be safely ignored. I got married right after college graduation. I was 21, she was 20 and we've been together for 10 wonderful years. If you have found someone who you know you want to spend the rest of your life with and are ready to make that commitment, go ahead and get married. Subscribing to the secular world's idea that everything has to be "perfect" before marriage while trying to live the Church's teaching on chastity AFTER you've found THE ONE is a recipe for failure and frustration. St. Paul wrote "It is better to marry than to burn with passion" for a reason.
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