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  #1  
Old Jan 25, '12, 8:28 pm
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bmullins bmullins is offline
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Default A friend

I have a young Christian friend (not Catholic) on facebook who recently posted a picture of herself wearing a very revealing outfit. The problem is she's very young, my daughters age even. So, morally do I post something to her about it? Do I send her a message? Ignore it and block her feed so I'm not exposed to it?

I have thought a few times of posting something to the effect of "where is the rest of your outfit?" Or "Where are your pants girl?" At the same time, I don't think it might be appropriate coming from someone 20 years her senior. Her parents likely wouldn't care they seem to be fine with it. And she seems to think it's fine as well.
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  #2  
Old Jan 25, '12, 10:19 pm
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joanofarc2008 joanofarc2008 is offline
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Default Re: A friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by bmullins View Post
I have a young Christian friend (not Catholic) on facebook who recently posted a picture of herself wearing a very revealing outfit. The problem is she's very young, my daughters age even. So, morally do I post something to her about it? Do I send her a message? Ignore it and block her feed so I'm not exposed to it?

I have thought a few times of posting something to the effect of "where is the rest of your outfit?" Or "Where are your pants girl?" At the same time, I don't think it might be appropriate coming from someone 20 years her senior. Her parents likely wouldn't care they seem to be fine with it. And she seems to think it's fine as well.
Send her a private, charitable message. You may hide this picture but honestly she is 20 years your junior - blocking her only lessens your ability to evangelize.
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  #3  
Old Jan 26, '12, 12:01 am
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hazmat hazmat is offline
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Default Re: A friend

unless you think shes doing something morally wrong by just wearing something, i wouldnt hassle her about it. it may be completely innocent. sure guys might have naughty thoughts because of it, but they can just as well with a fully dressed woman--its their problem. i think you might across as creepy if you mention it.
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  #4  
Old Jan 26, '12, 12:16 am
Rainaldo Rainaldo is offline
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Default Re: A friend

You avoided giving her age in spite of the fact that makes all the difference.

A little detective work reveals you are 34, therefore this "friend" of yours on Facebook is 14.

Care to explain why a 34 year old man is "friends" on Facebook with a 14 year old girl who posts revealing pictures of herself?
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  #5  
Old Jan 26, '12, 12:27 am
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Default Re: A friend

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Originally Posted by Rainaldo View Post
Care to explain why a 34 year old man is "friends" on Facebook with a 14 year old girl who posts revealing pictures of herself?[/b]
I don't owe you any explanations but I will give one. I have four daughters. They have friends. Their friends are on my friends list so that I can see what they share back and forth. Their parents are also on my friends list. Is that satisfactory to you?
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  #6  
Old Jan 26, '12, 2:48 pm
Newbie2 Newbie2 is offline
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Default Re: A friend

Do you know the parents? Perhaps a note or conversation with them is more appropriate; direct communication with a minor about such things is....tricky.

Or...how about a talk with your daughters? Could you get one of them to maybe suggest to her that such photos are inappropriate, short of saying "My Dad thinks....."?
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  #7  
Old Jan 26, '12, 4:34 pm
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Default Re: A friend

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Originally Posted by bmullins View Post
I don't owe you any explanations but I will give one. I have four daughters. They have friends. Their friends are on my friends list so that I can see what they share back and forth. Their parents are also on my friends list. Is that satisfactory to you?
So this is one of your daughter's friends then? In that case, it seems like the girl's parents should be the ones to talk to her about it. If they are on Facebook as well, it's likely they've seen the picture already. But if they haven't, perhaps you could send them a private message charitably asking if they are aware that their daughter has that particular photo posted. If they don't do anything about it, I don't think it's your place to step in and say something to someone else's minor child. You might want to have a talk with your own daughter about wearing modest clothing, and not letting her friends influence her negatively.
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  #8  
Old Jan 26, '12, 5:40 pm
Catholic90 Catholic90 is offline
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Default Re: A friend

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Originally Posted by SummerSmiles View Post
So this is one of your daughter's friends then? In that case, it seems like the girl's parents should be the ones to talk to her about it. If they are on Facebook as well, it's likely they've seen the picture already. But if they haven't, perhaps you could send them a private message charitably asking if they are aware that their daughter has that particular photo posted. If they don't do anything about it, I don't think it's your place to step in and say something to someone else's minor child. You might want to have a talk with your own daughter about wearing modest clothing, and not letting her friends influence her negatively.
Yeah, leave it to the parents. It would be creepy coming from you.
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  #9  
Old Jan 27, '12, 9:57 am
shainski shainski is offline
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Default Re: A friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by bmullins View Post
I have a young Christian friend (not Catholic) on facebook who recently posted a picture of herself wearing a very revealing outfit. The problem is she's very young, my daughters age even. So, morally do I post something to her about it? Do I send her a message? Ignore it and block her feed so I'm not exposed to it?

I have thought a few times of posting something to the effect of "where is the rest of your outfit?" Or "Where are your pants girl?" At the same time, I don't think it might be appropriate coming from someone 20 years her senior. Her parents likely wouldn't care they seem to be fine with it. And she seems to think it's fine as well.
Don't leave some glib comment - in fact, don't leave any public comment - it won't do any good, and my even encourage it.

If you know this "friend" very well, then you might consider the kind of advice an uncle might give. Some kind of friendly message like: "I enjoy seeing your posts on Facebook. I hope you don't mind if I give you a little friendly advice. When you post an image on Facebook - or anywhere on the internet, not only do your immediate friends see it, but the friends and the parents of your friends may see it. Your teachers, prospective colleges and employers may have a chance to see it. And the image may be floating around somewhere on the internet for years to come. You may not realize that the outfit you posted might have some thinking less of you than you want to convey. I am sending this privately so that I don't publicly embarrass you. Please take it in the spirit intended."
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  #10  
Old Jan 27, '12, 2:32 pm
catholic79 catholic79 is offline
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Default Re: A friend

I am friends with some of my cousins kids on FB and I have found that it is very easy for them to block updates and pictures from their parents but sometimes they forget to block everyone. I have said more then once "you should not take your friends advice here "name" and go talk to your mom". I've sent messages to my cousins saying things like "I see from her post "name" is having a hard time with "whatever", I'm praying for her and you - God Bless" This way they know that she said something if they were blocked, they know that I will tell them if I think she's in trouble and that I understand they are the parents and they'll get nothing more but prayers from me unless they ask.

Good Luck!
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  #11  
Old Jan 27, '12, 4:35 pm
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Allegra Allegra is offline
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Default Re: A friend

Definatly don't write something for other people to see! You might send her a private message, but I would word it very carefully. Teenage girls put all manner of horrid stuff on the internet. I've had to block all my little girl cousins because I find what they put on there really disturbing. I prefer not to know any more than I have to.
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  #12  
Old Jan 27, '12, 10:23 pm
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Default Re: A friend

Talk to her parents about it.
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  #13  
Old Jan 27, '12, 10:45 pm
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Default Re: A friend

Yes, I assume her parents are her FB friends, too, so it would be up to them to tell their daughter if they thought she was doing anything wrong.

By the way...do your daughters think what their friend was wearing was too revealing? Can you tell us what it is? Is there a chance you are over-reacting?
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  #14  
Old Jan 28, '12, 6:04 am
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Default Re: A friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaddyGirl View Post
Yes, I assume her parents are her FB friends, too, so it would be up to them to tell their daughter if they thought she was doing anything wrong.

By the way...do your daughters think what their friend was wearing was too revealing? Can you tell us what it is? Is there a chance you are over-reacting?
My daughter and my wife both think it's too much. Her parents bought the outfit for her and made some rather approving comments on it, including telling her she looked very 'sexy' in it. So instead of commenting I simply posted on my wall:

Young ladies, you are made in the image of God. You are a child of God, a princess of a royal family! You don't need to wear revealing clothes, and skimpy outfits to impress, remember that you are worth more than that! Don't conform to the world, but be transformed! You can be beautiful without being exposed!

(I would have responded sooner but this got moved to a different forum and I didn't realize it until I couldn't find it.) Thanks for all the advice and responses
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  #15  
Old Jan 28, '12, 7:09 am
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Default Re: A friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by bmullins View Post
including telling her she looked very 'sexy' in it.
That's both sad and creepy. Who says that to their daughter? Their 14 year old daughter to boot?
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