TODAY APPLE PRE-ANNOUNCED ITS NEW $30 OPERATING SYSTEM, 10.8, "MOUNTAIN LION".
Not to be outdone, MicroSoft has hurriedly announced a $299, 399, 499, 599, 699 and 799 upgrade to it's highly touted, Vista.
Originally called, Windows 9 Lives, it is now to be called , "Alley Cat".
Smart. clever, independent.
Five strong, new 'feline-like' features within Alley Cat include:
1. Search inquiries that will actually scratch the surface of your hard drive.
2. The output of the loud, 'purring' fans will smell like ammonia, or worse.
3. Whenever you use the mouse, the system will chase the cursor around the screen.
4. The computer will be awake only when it wants to, not when you want.
5. In the middle of the night, the computer will make loud alert sounds until you
close all the update dialog boxes and change the sand.
Steve Ballmur praised his engineers for making a more user friendly system.
He said Alley Cat will continue to contain all the previous features and components of DOS, W3.0,
and the other purchased or borrowed code fragments that users have come to expect in a huge, all inclusive system.
Ballmur called the system more warm and fuzzy and completely domesticated. Perfect for home and business.
He suggested that with Apple's Geniuses, Windows IT devisions should now call themselves Vets.
They can regularly send notices to customers that shots are required to keep their computers
running-to be more fun and playful-just like a nice, soft kitten.
Critics immediately pointed out that an alley cat is vastly more experienced
and savvy than a cuddly little kitten. That is the strength that MS has used to differ itself
from Apple. While Mac users are lulled into a trance by their laptops, Windows users are constantly challenged by their machines. The press core also noted that many of these 'newer' features appear in most PCs already running Windows 7 after time anyway. Ballmur responded with a loud hiss.
Alley Cat should be available in less then a decade.