Beauty and the beast at a wedding!? - Page 2

**Dale_M** · #16 Feb 23, '12, 4:30 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annabelle Marie

It was my understanding that this is NOT a Protestant wedding. It's a Catholic attempting an invalid marriage. It doesn't matter if she is a cafeteria Catholic or not...if she was baptized Catholic then she has an obligation to get married in the church or seek a dispensation. Since she is not, it would be an invalid marriage.

Am I wrong here?

No, you are correct. I breezed right past the fact that the cousin is Catholic.

In that case, I need to quote Michelle Arnold once more (to correct myself.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michelle Arnold, staff apologist

The Church does not explicitly forbid Catholics from attending presumptively-invalid marriages. Catholics must use their own prudential judgment in making the decision, keeping in mind the need to uphold the Catholic understanding of the sanctity of marriage. One rule of thumb that may be helpful in making such decisions might be to ask yourself if you believe the couple is doing the best that they can to act honorably and according to the truth that they have. So, for example, you might decide to attend the presumptively-invalid wedding of a couple who is expecting a child; but decline to attend the presumptively-invalid wedding of a couple who have engaged in adultery and destroyed previous marriages and families.

While there may be just reason to attend a particular wedding that will be presumptively-invalid, I cannot recommend participating as a member of the wedding party in such weddings. There is a difference between attending as a non-participating observer and actively involving yourself in the wedding as an honor attendant.

http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=167154

Contra Mundum · #17 Feb 23, '12, 4:53 am

Oh dear, what a classy affair that will be.

Decline. It is innapropriate, the marriage will be invalid and above all, she has no respect for you and is treating you badly. I mean, she could have at least given you a decent song to sing LOL.

Kit15 · #18 Feb 23, '12, 5:14 am

I have no qualms with the song if it's being used outside the church, depending on where it is placed in the ceremony, and if it's instrumental. Most of the weddings I've been to that attempt to use songs found in modern pop culture use the instrumental versions or one of those "string quartet tributes".

But I also agree that there are bigger matters than the song choice here.

There's probably some sentimental reason why she wants it. My husband and I had our first dance at the reception to a Disney song (park music...it's not from a movie) because of a significant event in our lives involving that song over a decade ago. I would say that singing the words "beauty and the beast" feels weird to you in this context...what if you helped locate a nice instrumental version. I think Disney released a CD of their most popular love songs performed on solo piano. I'd be shocked if that song wasn't on it.

EDIT:
http://www.amazon.com/Disneys-Fairy-.../dp/B0007TKH0W

Okay so it's not solo piano. It's classical guitar with backup. But still...I didn't catch any words sung in the sample.

Contra Mundum · #19 Feb 23, '12, 5:24 am

I just watched the clip on Youtube. Awwww, so cute. My 20 month old son loved it, clapped his hands with delight.

In all seriousness, I find it more innapropriate that she wants Ave Maria sung.

Irishmom2 · #20 Feb 23, '12, 6:17 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leegal

Maybe the bride doesn't have a clue that she's referring to her groom as a beast who is changed by love and that it's metaphor.

Or maybe she does know and that is exactly why she wants to use it.

Not saying that I would use it, just that I understand why she might like it. But I think maybe it would be better suited to their first dance at the reception.

TheRealJuliane · #21 Feb 23, '12, 6:38 am

Don't do it. You are only going to seethe through the song. When does she want you to sing it, as they walk back down the "aisle" after taking their "vows?" My goodness gracious. What has the world come to?? A Disney song at a wedding?

SurlyMermaid · #22 Feb 23, '12, 10:19 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Contra Mundum

I just watched the clip on Youtube. Awwww, so cute. My 20 month old son loved it, clapped his hands with delight.

In all seriousness, I find it more innapropriate that she wants Ave Maria sung.

Agreed.

At my first wedding my sister sang. She knew better than I and one of the songs she chose (prophetically) was "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?"

Castello · #23 Feb 23, '12, 10:24 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1ke

Well, this gives you an opportunity to decline. Since this will be an invalid marriage attempt you shouldn't be participating in it at all.

This!

BlueEyedLady · #24 Feb 23, '12, 10:32 am

It sounds like you don't want to go but that you have resigned yourself to it and are going to try to make the best of the situation.

If that's the case and you don't want to make waves maybe you could suggest singing 'Beauty and the Beast' at the reception instead? That seems like a more appropriate time. Or maybe you could ask why they want it. Maybe it has some significance to them that they want to share with their friends and family? If that's the case then that reasoning should be announced right before you sing.

Or you could stay home, and invitation is not an obligation. (Although it sounds like you are already committed?)

Congrats by the way on being a good enough singer to be asked to do it at a wedding! That's not a talent that I have, and I'm very jealous.

TheRealJuliane · #25 Feb 23, '12, 11:14 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyedLady

It sounds like you don't want to go but that you have resigned yourself to it and are going to try to make the best of the situation.

If that's the case and you don't want to make waves maybe you could suggest singing 'Beauty and the Beast' at the reception instead? That seems like a more appropriate time. Or maybe you could ask why they want it. Maybe it has some significance to them that they want to share with their friends and family? If that's the case then that reasoning should be announced right before you sing.

Or you could stay home, and invitation is not an obligation. (Although it sounds like you are already committed?)

Congrats by the way on being a good enough singer to be asked to do it at a wedding! That's not a talent that I have, and I'm very jealous.

Go to confession! Envy and jealousy are sinful!

And don't whistle on the way, either.

Yes, I know, you're an atheist, but you like us, don't you....

BlueEyedLady · #26 Feb 23, '12, 12:59 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRealJuliane

Go to confession! Envy and jealousy are sinful!

And don't whistle on the way, either.

Yes, I know, you're an atheist, but you like us, don't you....

Are you kidding me? I love you guys! Why else would I have posted enough to get my Junior membership title???? (YAY!)

joanofarc2008 · #27 Feb 23, '12, 1:30 pm

Do you know for sure that she has not received dispensation or is this something we are all just assuming? It is possible to receive dispensation for other venues in cases of mixes marriages. I am just checking.

Sarabande · #28 Feb 23, '12, 2:14 pm

I wouldn't do it. You are supposed to be doing it as a nice gesture to your cousin and you seem to be very upset by this. It's just not a good thing, especially if you will be singing it with gritted teeth, figuratively and, possibly, literally should you be angry enough.

You could give the excuse that the piece doesn't fit your voice and the repertoire you sing, which is a legitimate excuse (if it's true). It's like asking a classical singer to sing a pop song and vice versa, or asking a soprano to sing a song written for an alto/contralto voice and vice versa. It just won't sound as nice as the kind of voice it is meant for. Maybe give suggestions from your repertoire which suit your voice better... if you still want to sing for it.

SJG1759 · #29 Feb 23, '12, 2:31 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyedLady

Or maybe you could ask why they want it. Maybe it has some significance to them that they want to share with their friends and family? If that's the case then that reasoning should be announced right before you sing.

This is a good idea. If I were asked to sing this song at a wedding, I'd be wondering why! Say something like, "If you don't mind me asking, why this song? It sounds like you're calling [groom's name] a beast, but we all love him!" (Hopefully you do all love him. If you don't then maybe it's appropriate!

)

Credo in Deum · #30 Feb 23, '12, 2:42 pm

I would have declined "Tale as old as Time" and opt for "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo".