Ignore This, Pretty Please, If You Know What's Good For You!

[LegoGE1947]

Originally Posted by The Reginator

That reminds me of an expression we used to use way back in loonie-versity:

"Hey, I'm not as dumb as you look."

Reminds me of a comment Homer and Jethro made about Chet Atkins "He's a better guitarist than he sounds!"

[The Reginator]

Originally Posted by LegoGE1947

Reminds me of a comment Homer and Jethro made about Chet Atkins "He's a better guitarist than he sounds!"

Most people don't realize it, but our dear Peggy is rather tall for her height.

[The Reginator]

A little science is a dangerous thing...

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree Celsius.
Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.
For example, a dessert served and eaten near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg.F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalised.
Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories. Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat, the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal.
This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalising process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.
Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.
Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.
We should all be thin very soon if we adhere religiously to this pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.

Happy eating.

[Peggy in Burien]

Originally Posted by The Reginator

Three Canadian Blondes …..

Three Canadian blondes died and found themselves standing before St.Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented. The first blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey.” St. Peter said, “Noooooo,” and he banished her to Hell.

The second blonde said, “Easter is when we celebrate Jesus’ birth and exchange gifts.” St. Peter said, “Noooooo,” and he banished her to Hell.

The third blonde said she knew what Easter was, and St. Peter said, “So, tell me.” She said, “Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when He was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder … “

St. Peter said, “Verrrrrry good.”

Then the blonde continued, “Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey.”

St. Peter fainted..............

That is toooooo funny, Max! Wait til I tell my baby sister, the brunette! She collects Dumb Blonde jokes!!!

99

[Peggy in Burien]

Originally Posted by The Reginator

Most people don't realize it, but our dear Peggy is rather tall for her height.

"A hundred and one pounds of fun,

That's my little honey bun!

Get a load of honey bun tonight.


I'm speakin' of my Sweetie Pie,

Only sixty inches high,

Ev'ry inch is packed with dynamite!"
~~Honey Bun from South Pacific, Rogers and Hammerstein

[Peggy in Burien]

Originally Posted by The Reginator

A little science is a dangerous thing...

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree Celsius.
Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.
For example, a dessert served and eaten near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg.F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalised.
Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories. Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat, the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal.
This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalising process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.
Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.
Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.
We should all be thin very soon if we adhere religiously to this pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.

Happy eating.

With these warmer days approaching, Max, I will make up our favorite dessert: Beer Floats, with ginger ice cream floating in a good IPA. Yummy!

None for the kids, they just get root beer floats.

99

[Nec5]

Originally Posted by The Reginator

That reminds me of an expression we used to use way back in loonie-versity:

"Hey, I'm not as dumb as you look."

Which reminds me of an old three stooges put down:

"Every time you think, you weaken the nation."

[LegoGE1947]

Originally Posted by The Reginator

Most people don't realize it, but our dear Peggy is rather tall for her height.

Short people aren't short, they are just "vertically challenged!" Or someone built the floor too close to their heads!

[karoleck]

Originally Posted by LegoGE1947

Short people aren't short, they are just "vertically challenged!" Or someone built the floor too close to their heads!

There is nothing wrong with that! I mean, it is easier to stand on one's head if the floor is much closer! The Reginator thought that I meant "hand stands" but no,I meant what I said.I chose this grand dad to show all you young people on how I do them.I originally had on my link a couple of lovely young ladies demonstrating; but some of my fellow men might have got distracted;so in not shape or form would I allow that!Now ladies and bald headed babies get ready---just follow my old mate!--get that blood flowing to your brain!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ-Ub...endscreen&NR=1

[grannymh]

Originally Posted by The Reginator

Most people don't realize it, but our dear Peggy is rather tall for her height.

The world's greatest plumber had better fix John, I mean the John or I will be in trouble from laughing at all these posts which are funnier when spoken.

[The Reginator]

Originally Posted by karoleck

There is nothing wrong with that! I mean, it is easier to stand on one's head if the floor is much closer! The Reginator thought that I meant "hand stands" but no,I meant what I said.I chose this grand dad to show all you young people on how I do them.I originally had on my link a couple of lovely young ladies demonstrating; but some of my fellow men might have got distracted;so in not shape or form would I allow that!Now ladies and bald headed babies get ready---just follow my old mate!--get that blood flowing to your brain!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ-Ub...endscreen&NR=1

That gent never once stood on his head. How could he? When his head was on the floor his feet were high in the air.
I can place both my hands on the floor and stand right on them. (Ouch!)
One would have to be some kind of contortionist to be able to place one's head on the floor and still be able to plant both feet atop one's head.
Sheesh.

[The Reginator]

[Peggy in Burien]

Originally Posted by karoleck

There is nothing wrong with that! I mean, it is easier to stand on one's head if the floor is much closer! The Reginator thought that I meant "hand stands" but no,I meant what I said.I chose this grand dad to show all you young people on how I do them.I originally had on my link a couple of lovely young ladies demonstrating; but some of my fellow men might have got distracted;so in not shape or form would I allow that!Now ladies and bald headed babies get ready---just follow my old mate!--get that blood flowing to your brain!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ-Ub...endscreen&NR=1

That guy has the strongest abdominal muscles I've ever seen!

[karoleck]

Originally Posted by Peggy in Burien

That guy has the strongest abdominal muscles I've ever seen!

You do have a long history at looking--I remember you well when you were caught in this production making a real ***/ I mean pig of yourself Peggy!! remember this when you were much younger though not wiser?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARUM0-jtjIg

[karoleck]

Originally Posted by The Reginator

That gent never once stood on his head. How could he? When his head was on the floor his feet were high in the air.
I can place both my hands on the floor and stand right on them. (Ouch!)
One would have to be some kind of contortionist to be able to place one's head on the floor and still be able to plant both feet atop one's head.
Sheesh.

No worries Buddy-- I have put my foot in my mouth plenty of times and I needed to be or I wished that I was a contortionist to get out of it ,after I had done it!!
I caught Peggy out--this should even make Granny laught as Piggy Peggy is caught short as in real life!