Should I stay friends with this person?

geniousdave · #1 Mar 13, '12, 10:19 am

Hi all,

I have a friend that I'm unsure whether or not to stay friends with him. I've actually known him since grade school. We both went to the same Catholic school, summer camp, and church. I say we were pretty good friends back then .We weren't like some friends that are insperable, but we did hang out alot. After high school, he left for the military and I went to college. During those 4 years, we never really spoke to each other since he was away.

He recently returned home and met up with him at the grocery store. We talked like old times and before he left, he gave me his phone number in case I ever wanted to hang out. Well, the next day(Sunday), I didn't see him in church. I give him a call that day and he asked if I wanted to hang out. He gave me his address and I went over. I asked him if he's attending another church in the area and he told me that he doesn't go to church anymore. He states that he still believes in God and prays on his own time, but doesn't believe in religion or the church. He didn't go too much into detail about if anything happened to change his mind.

Problem is, I'm not sure if I should be hanging out with him if he isn't Catholic. He still seems like the same guy I remember. He is in college right now works, and has his own place. His life is pretty much in order. As far as I know, he seems genuine, but I just don't want him to start spewing anti-catholic all over the place. Maybe I'm going overboard with all of this.

Should I be concerned? Should I keep a friendship with him even though he isn't catholic?

Em_in_FL · #2 Mar 13, '12, 10:37 am

I couldn't think of a better reason to keep this friend! Maybe God is placing you in his life for a reason?

I'm friends with a lot of non-Catholics and fallen-away-Catholics... there's no chance in the world that they could "drag me down" (I mean, I'm still human and sin, but I'm not leaving my faith... ever).

So, unless you're really rocky in your own faith life, then ABSOLUTELY keep him as a friend. Be a good influence on him. Show him, by example, that you can live a Catholic life and be happy.

shainski · #3 Mar 13, '12, 10:49 am

I agree with Em.

I have many friends that span all different beliefs. It seems to me that I have a much better chance of influencing others by remaining close to them.

I suppose if i were concerned that they would have a negative affect on my, i would keep my distance.

But just because he is running through a period where he is challenging his beliefs - many many people go through periods where they struggle (I believe that even Mother Teresa mentioned that she struggled at time with her beliefs). But if you keep in contact, he may have a positive model in his life.

And just because he has these struggles doesn't mean he will spew anti-Catholic rhetoric. If he does go that route, ask him kindly to stop. If he doesn't stop, you can reevaluate how much interaction you want. But don't anticipate it will be a problem until it is.

Luna Lovecraft · #4 Mar 13, '12, 11:48 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by geniousdave

Problem is, I'm not sure if I should be hanging out with him if he isn't Catholic.

This isn't a problem because this young man is Catholic. He's just not a practicing Catholic at the moment. Besides, nowhere is it taught that Catholics cannot develop friendships with people who are not Catholics, so even if he were not Catholic you could be friends with him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by geniousdave

As far as I know, he seems genuine, but I just don't want him to start spewing anti-catholic all over the place.

Don't worry about this until he starts anti-Catholic rants.

Quote:

Originally Posted by geniousdave

Maybe I'm going overboard with all of this.

Yes, I think you are.

Luna

brotherknight · #5 Mar 13, '12, 11:57 am

Nicely done with the responses everyone! I couldn't think of a more important reason to stay friends with this person.

SonCatcher · #6 Mar 13, '12, 12:20 pm

Maybe you could invite him back. This can be easier if there is some event immediately following.

Neden · #7 Mar 13, '12, 12:20 pm

I see no reason why not to remain friends with this person. You might help to bring him back to the Church. Remember what St. Francis said, "Preach the Gospel, use words if necessary."

I would only caution about where this person might lead you. If you find yourself in places and situations that compromise your faith then at that point it would be prudent to evaluate the type of friendship you are having.

Neden

Creo · #8 Mar 13, '12, 12:30 pm

Remember Jesus entered the house of sinners to save them. All excellent advice, but interested to know why you're questioning it.

SMHW · #9 Mar 13, '12, 12:42 pm

As has been previously posted, you might be the means of drawing this young man back into the practice of his faith.

Beyond that, I would say that his potential as a continuing friend is similar to that of any other person you might know. (Remember that even practicing Catholic friends can drift apart over time.)

Do you share common interests? Do you help bring out the best in each other? Can you show respect for each other when you don't agree?

Bklynguy · #10 Mar 13, '12, 4:12 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luna Lovecraft

This isn't a problem because this young man is Catholic. He's just not a practicing Catholic at the moment. Besides, nowhere is it taught that Catholics cannot develop friendships with people who are not Catholics, so even if he were not Catholic you could be friends with him.

Don't worry about this until he starts anti-Catholic rants.

Yes, I think you are.

Luna

There is no point in me in repeating any of the posts here, so I'll just say that I agree with all the advice given in this post.

twoangels · #11 Mar 13, '12, 8:39 pm

Of course, stay friends with him. I don't know what would give you the idea that you can only be friends with Catholics.

horselvr · #12 Mar 14, '12, 7:01 am

I don't know what gives you the idea you can only socialize with Catholics either.

I have some of the wackiest friends known to man. Several different religions and they border on anti-Catholicism too, atheists, Catholics, a few are gay a lot are straight, an alcoholic, super rich, super poor and the list goes on.

Time to lighten up.

Bonzer103 · #13 Mar 14, '12, 7:13 am

Becoming a new Catholic myself, I have many best and dear friends that are not Catholic, and in many not religious as well. My parents and brother are not religious, but still love and remain family/friends as deeply as I was before my conversion. I only converted to Cathlocism/religion in general after thirteen years of marriage to my Catholic wife. I would not have understood and found salvation if she never decided to be friends with and ultimately not marry a person with no faith (and through 13 years of marriage and three children, she never pusued my conversion and respected my position/choices) .If anything you should try to nurture your friendship with this person if he is pure and good by nature as an individual. Good people are not only good and kind if there purpose is devotion to the church. They wil eventually realize the truth when they are ready, and support of that (albeit in an unnannounced unitrusive manner will help with that). Don't force it on him , but he will have comfort knowing that you will be there to help and understand once he discovers God's presence as it manifests itself in subtle yet eventually obvious ways.