Is it okay to stay together at a hotel?

AllSeasons · #1 Mar 22, '12, 12:19 pm

Is it okay for me and my girlfriend to stay in the same hotel room for a couple of days? It would obviously be in separate beds. I understand the concept of near occasions of sin, but if it's just for a couple of nights and in separate beds, is that okay? Thank you.

ExGratia · #2 Mar 22, '12, 12:27 pm

I'm not sure of your specific situation, but I would say NO. Not okay.

Not only could it be a near occasion of since but also could be a scandal to others.

Besides, wouldn't you rather keep that level of closeness a mystery until your wedding night? Whether or not she ends up being the one you marry, your purity is a gift to your future wife.

PerfectTiming · #3 Mar 22, '12, 12:32 pm

No, it's not okay. Not only is it a near occasion of sin but it is a scandal to others.

Splagchnizomai · #4 Mar 22, '12, 12:34 pm

No.

If you need further advice and direction (and it sounds like you may need it if you are asking about this on CAF), schedule a meeting with your priest soon.

**1ke** · #5 Mar 22, '12, 12:42 pm

Talk to your priest.

domandcarols · #6 Mar 22, '12, 12:45 pm

Absolutely not.

joshvanrad · #7 Mar 22, '12, 1:10 pm

What is the reasoning for doing it? Could you elaborate more?

Thanks,
Joshua

King Lazy · #8 Mar 22, '12, 1:13 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllSeasons

Is it okay for me and my girlfriend to stay in the same hotel room for a couple of days? It would obviously be in separate beds. I understand the concept of near occasions of sin, but if it's just for a couple of nights and in separate beds, is that okay? Thank you.

I know it might seem like the other posters are being harsh, but no, it's not okay, unfortunately, and the reasons are the same as those already enumerated.

TheRealJuliane · #9 Mar 22, '12, 1:19 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllSeasons

Is it okay for me and my girlfriend to stay in the same hotel room for a couple of days? It would obviously be in separate beds. I understand the concept of near occasions of sin, but if it's just for a couple of nights and in separate beds, is that okay? Thank you.

Definitely not. Get two rooms, and each of you sleep in your own room. Maintain your modesty and chastity.

Godfollower · #10 Mar 22, '12, 1:22 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllSeasons

Is it okay for me and my girlfriend to stay in the same hotel room for a couple of days? It would obviously be in separate beds. I understand the concept of near occasions of sin, but if it's just for a couple of nights and in separate beds, is that okay? Thank you.

How strong are you? If you've "crossed the line" already, then it's not a good idea. But, if you haven't, there's nothing to suggest that you can't share a room (I assume because of expenses, yes?). You say you understand the concept of near occasion of sin, so I assume that you've already evaluated whether the two of you will be able to withstand that temptation once you're there.

There could be other reasons not to share a room, of course, but you haven't presented them yet. If one of you wants sex but the other wants to wait, that would suggest separate rooms. If a younger sibling or friend who looks up to you will be aware of the room-sharing and draw the wrong lesson from it, that could constitute the sin of scandal (leading others by example to sin). And so on.

But, if BOTH of you are strong enough to withstand sex even when sharing a room, then Catholic theology does not absolutely prohibit it. Have you had the opportunity for sex in the past but not acted on it? That's some evidence that you won't commit the sin this time.

King Lazy · #11 Mar 22, '12, 1:25 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godfollower

But, if BOTH of you are strong enough to withstand sex even when sharing a room, then Catholic theology does not absolutely prohibit it. Have you had the opportunity for sex in the past but not acted on it? That's some evidence that you won't commit the sin this time.

There's more to it - there's also the question of scandal, unfortunately.

Godfollower · #12 Mar 22, '12, 1:32 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Lazy

There's more to it - there's also the question of scandal, unfortunately.

Which is why I addressed the issue of scandal in my original post.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godfollower

There could be other reasons not to share a room, of course, . . . . If a younger sibling or friend who looks up to you will be aware of the room-sharing and draw the wrong lesson from it, that could constitute the sin of scandal (leading others by example to sin). And so on.

I'm just saying, in the ABSENCE of such issues, if the two of them can avoid the temptation, it's entirely possible that the monetary savings (or whatever the reason for sharing a room is) will justify the single room.

TheRealJuliane · #13 Mar 22, '12, 1:32 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godfollower

How strong are you? If you've "crossed the line" already, then it's not a good idea. But, if you haven't, there's nothing to suggest that you can't share a room (I assume because of expenses, yes?). You say you understand the concept of near occasion of sin, so I assume that you've already evaluated whether the two of you will be able to withstand that temptation once you're there.

There could be other reasons not to share a room, of course, but you haven't presented them yet. If one of you wants sex but the other wants to wait, that would suggest separate rooms. If a younger sibling or friend who looks up to you will be aware of the room-sharing and draw the wrong lesson from it, that could constitute the sin of scandal (leading others by example to sin). And so on.

But, if BOTH of you are strong enough to withstand sex even when sharing a room, then Catholic theology does not absolutely prohibit it. Have you had the opportunity for sex in the past but not acted on it? That's some evidence that you won't commit the sin this time.

Playing with temptation is always risky. And there is the issue of modesty as well. What good can it do for each of them to see the other in night time clothing?

I disagree that previous resistance to temptation predicts future success. On the contrary, exposure to temptation can cause fatigue to the point of less resistance to the temptation.

PattiDay · #14 Mar 22, '12, 1:34 pm

NO. It is never a good idea to put yourself in a potentially sinful situation, no matter how good your intentions are at the moment.

ExGratia · #15 Mar 22, '12, 1:49 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godfollower

Which is why I addressed the issue of scandal in my original post.

I'm just saying, in the ABSENCE of such issues, if the two of them can avoid the temptation, it's entirely possible that the monetary savings (or whatever the reason for sharing a room is) will justify the single room.

You can't definitively say there wouldn't be scandal. Hotel employees are people too and might be tempted to gossip or to follow example. Best advice: Don't do it.