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  #1  
Old Mar 24, '12, 10:49 am
johnsmith2025 johnsmith2025 is offline
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Smile Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

Hi everyone,

I was wondering, is it unusual to know of a couple who attends mass 2 or 3 times a week?

The fact is, being a single guy, when I was in my EARLY 20's I was not choosy about whether the women I dated had any level of faith, in type of faith nor level of dedication to it.
All to me that was required was that we got along well, that she had a nice/fun personality like mine, was a good person, and had a certain level of physical attractiveness. ....

... But now, just a few years later, it feels like the spiritual part is missing. Whether I'm wrong for feeling this way or not, I don't know, but I know it's how I feel.

So, while I'm still hoping to find those qualities in a woman, I also am hoping to find those qualities in a woman who will give me a push to go to church. The fact is that over the last year, I've lost my drive to attend. While I certainly did grow up Catholic, other things had taken my interest ( work and other such things ) and I had lost my desire to even attend church -- at first I would skip a week, and then it become 2 weeks, and so on.

That's why it's important to find a healthy energetic Catholic woman who has a good level of dedication to attending church. I want the woman I marry to be someone who doesn't feel bad about giving me that nudge at 6:00 AM on a Sunday to wake me up to get me going because of the impotance of getting me to Sunday morning mass, and will also give me that same nudge on maybe Tuesdays and Thusdays as well.

Is it common to find a woman who will want her man to go to church with her 2 or 3 times a week? And where would a guy go about finding a woman like that? ( Aside from trying to look for her AT church --- it's not a singles bar to pick up women )

And when you consider your answer to me, if in your answer you are thinking about telling me how time constraints can keep a young woman from being able to go to mass 2 or 3 times per week, please keep in mind I do plan on fully providing for the woman ( wife ) in my life so she doesn't have to work, so she will have much more time to do the things she wants to do.

Never having met a woman dedicated to going to church multiple times per week, I'm not sure how a guy like me might appeal to such a woman. That is to say, a guy with these traits:

Is clean shaven
Has good communication skills
Eats healthy
Very rarely drinks and never uses drugs
Runs at least 1 mile per day
Is able and happy to fully provide for his wife
Likes energetic, outdoorsy type of activities
Likes to enjoy relaxing on the couch with a DVD while cuddling with his lady
Is a decent cook and makes 80% of the household meals
Has a healthy libido
Does his own laundry and dishes

I don't know if those qualities would seem appealing to the kind of woman I'd like to find, but I hope so.

So anyway, is there such a thing as a young attractive woman who attends church multiple times a week? And that she hopes/expects to find the same in a potential male life mate?

I fully intend on being a good husband to someone I share chemistry and certain qualities with.
But it feels like I'm almost literally looking for the "needle in the haystack" when it comes to finding such a woman.

Thanks for any guidance you can give me! :-)
John

[email protected]
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  #2  
Old Mar 24, '12, 11:03 am
BlueEyedLady BlueEyedLady is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

There are women like that out there but they are usually looking for men that they don't have to nudge in the morning and remind them how important mass is.

Just something to keep in mind.
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  #3  
Old Mar 24, '12, 11:05 am
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Marybeloved Marybeloved is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

Have you tried internet dating sites like avemariasingles.com, catholicmatch.com and catholicsingles.com? You're more likely to find a devout single catholic lady who would like to be a home-maker and practice her faith, as there are many who have that kind of outlook on these sights. Advantage: You'll likely find many such women there than you would even at your local parish. Disadvantage? She may be some distance from you. Good luck.
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  #4  
Old Mar 24, '12, 11:14 am
1ke 1ke is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

1) Yes, certainly, there are many couples who have an active faith life and mutually aid the other in striving for holiness.

2) Your wife is not your mother. Put your own spiritual house in order, and be a man not a boy.
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ke's universal disclaimer: In my posts, when I post about marriage, canon law, or sacraments I am talking about Latin Rite only, not the Orthodox and Eastern Rites. These are exceptions that confuse the issue and I am not talking about those.
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  #5  
Old Mar 24, '12, 12:38 pm
TheRealJuliane TheRealJuliane is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

John, I applaud you for looking for a wife who is focused on God, and not on the things of this world. I would say though, that if you wish to attend church more often, that you start doing that now, and not wait until you have a wife who will inspire you (or kick you out of bed). Develop those spiritual practices for God, not through another person. Start now.

And, while you are searching for this special lady, don't focus too much on "attractiveness." Of course you want someone who takes care of herself in terms of hygiene, etc. But if you mean what the world means by attractive, then you might miss a person who has other and better qualities than just a pretty face. I'm not saying you should date unattractive people, just think carefully about the standard of physical attractiveness that you believe you need in a spouse.
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  #6  
Old Mar 24, '12, 1:11 pm
Mrs Sally Mrs Sally is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

Seconding the idea that you get your own spiritual house in order now. Go toconfession and start getting to church every Sunday. Doesn't have to be at 6am, but you have to be able to get yourself up and going on your own.

Become an usher, join your parish men's group, go to diocesean events. Build up your own faith. Then if you meet a woman who is excited about daily Mass, you will be excited also.

Remember that a married man and father should be the spiritual head of the household. Pray to St Joseph to give you guidance.
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  #7  
Old Mar 24, '12, 1:51 pm
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Jeanne S Jeanne S is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueEyedLady View Post
There are women like that out there but they are usually looking for men that they don't have to nudge in the morning and remind them how important mass is.

Just something to keep in mind.
amen!
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  #8  
Old Mar 24, '12, 1:55 pm
EasterJoy EasterJoy is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

There is an old saying: Don't try to marry wealth. Hang around rich people, and marry for love.

Go to daily Mass a lot, and if there is someone else looking for a guy who goes to daily Mass a lot, word will get out, trust me. Even if she doesn't go to the same Mass as you, it is not unknown for there to be would-be matchmakers at daily Mass!!
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  #9  
Old Mar 24, '12, 1:59 pm
gubernova gubernova is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

You better be ready to stay single your whole life. Just try to find a girl that attends mass once or twice a year and count yourself lucky. The only women who attend mass that regularly are nuns..
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  #10  
Old Mar 24, '12, 2:12 pm
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faithfully faithfully is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

Quote:
Originally Posted by gubernova View Post
You better be ready to stay single your whole life. Just try to find a girl that attends mass once or twice a year and count yourself lucky. The only women who attend mass that regularly are nuns..
WOW! Really? You don't see women, the SAME women in Mass every week? How wierd. My church is packed!

I know many single Catholic women who go to church every Sunday. Do they go several times a week? No. Daily Mass is usually in the morning during commute and work hours. I don't know any single Catholic, unemployed women. When I attend a morning weekday Mass, I generally only see some 20 people. It's easily a 50/50 split male/female but mostly an older population.
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...Make me a channel of your Peace... (This is the tune usually going through my head.)

Well, I could really use some but instead I'll just the day away...
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  #11  
Old Mar 24, '12, 4:17 pm
jawgee jawgee is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

Quote:
Originally Posted by gubernova View Post
You better be ready to stay single your whole life. Just try to find a girl that attends mass once or twice a year and count yourself lucky. The only women who attend mass that regularly are nuns..




You and I must hang around in different crowds.
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  #12  
Old Mar 24, '12, 5:07 pm
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LilyM LilyM is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

'I plan on fully providing for my wife so that she doesn't have to work so that she can have more time to do the things she wants to do'?

Well, what if she WANTS to work? Full time? Women don't all work purely to pay the bills y'know.

Besides which, parenthood and housekeeping are work too, so unless you plan to hire a maid to do all the housekeeping and a full time nanny for the childrearing then I am afraid you will find your woman has limited time to do all your social secretarying and general organizing and motivating for you.

Besides which IT'S NOT HER JOB! If you want to get up at 6 o'clock get yourself up at 6 - set an alarm (or two, I sometimes sleep through if it's only one) and put it away from your bed so's you have to get up and out. Do something else before or after Mass that you enjoy - have a coffee at your favorite cafe, or go for your run to the church or back.
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  #13  
Old Mar 24, '12, 5:23 pm
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Kathryn Ann Kathryn Ann is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

Hi JohnSmith2025,

If you're for real, you may find these ladies, in, of all places, church! Volunteers abound around parish activities. Try setting your own alarm clock now and go find her! She's there, looking for a good husband.

I guess people from my generation just did things differently: You have to go out and look in order to find each other!

-Who's sitting alone at Mass and sipping coffee at the social hour?
-Who's that girl ladling soup at the Lenten suppers?
-Perhaps she's a Sunday School teacher.
-She might sing in the choir or play an instrument:

You have to set that alarm yourself and go to Mass and lots of parish activities if you want to find the girl who likes to be there as much as you do

-She might work in the parish office or
-she might run a ministry.

With ladies outnumbering men quite a bit these days, there's no reason you shouldn't find someone nice. So, set that alarm, go to Mass, introduce yourself at the coffee hour and volunteer a bit. She's out there somewhere.

Best wishes,
Kathryn Ann
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  #14  
Old Mar 24, '12, 5:32 pm
EasterJoy EasterJoy is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyM View Post
'I plan on fully providing for my wife so that she doesn't have to work so that she can have more time to do the things she wants to do'?

Well, what if she WANTS to work? Full time? Women don't all work purely to pay the bills y'know.

Besides which, parenthood and housekeeping are work too, so unless you plan to hire a maid to do all the housekeeping and a full time nanny for the childrearing then I am afraid you will find your woman has limited time to do all your social secretarying and general organizing and motivating for you.

Besides which IT'S NOT HER JOB! If you want to get up at 6 o'clock get yourself up at 6 - set an alarm (or two, I sometimes sleep through if it's only one) and put it away from your bed so's you have to get up and out. Do something else before or after Mass that you enjoy - have a coffee at your favorite cafe, or go for your run to the church or back.
Well, it's her job if she wants it, and some women do. He is describing a situation that is not everyone's cup of tea, but it's not an inherently humiliating arrangment. After all, we know there are wives who would like to stay home, but their husbands want them to work full time. The conflict can go either way. If you have to work it out, you work it out, but either arrangment can be mutually agreeable from the start. You just never know.

I know a couple in which one is sort of obsessive compulsive about neatness and the other is more of an ADD-sort who has trouble keeping on track. He (the self-described "OCD" of the pair) writes her to-do lists every day. She doesn't put his clothes away, because he has to have them arranged by color. It sounds insane to most people, but it works for them. They're nearing retirement age, and this is how they've run things their entire marriage. Go figure.
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  #15  
Old Mar 30, '12, 5:24 am
johnsmith2025 johnsmith2025 is offline
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Default Re: Is it difficult to find a partner who wants to attend chuch 2-3 times a week ( read details, long )?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marybeloved View Post
Have you tried internet dating sites like avemariasingles.com, catholicmatch.com and catholicsingles.com? You're more likely to find a devout single catholic lady who would like to be a home-maker and practice her faith, as there are many who have that kind of outlook on these sights. Advantage: You'll likely find many such women there than you would even at your local parish. Disadvantage? She may be some distance from you. Good luck.
Thanks for your response, Marybeloved. I haven't tried those before.
Are those sites reliable? Have you been to them lately?
I recently had to have my computer re-loaded because of slowing down from certain websites allowing infected ads to be posted on their sites ---- so, I have lately been in the habit of only going to sites that I know aren't infected.
If you would go to those to take a look, and make sure they are running alright, that would be great. :-)
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