Feeling Resentment?!?

[FightForFaith]

I am newly Confirmed and so proud of my faith! I have very close friends who are non-denominational Christians. I think it's great that we are Christian sisters. However, as I have recently been exploring more and more about Christ's Church and the beliefs of His Church, I have been feeling more and more tension towards my friends. It is obvious where we disagree on things. For example, my friends have said that we shouldn't have to "report" our sins to a priest. They also have said that Catholics added things to the Bible and the age-old accusation of worshiping Mary.

It has never got outwardly tense, but in my heart I can feel myself becoming resentful. I don't want to feel this way! But it feels like they are trying to lead ME to "the truth" by inviting me to Campus Crusade for Christ meetings, and I feel like I already know the truth because I am part of His Church that HE created. Part of me feels like it's a "I'm right, they're wrong" situation. I know it shouldn't be that way, and I know there are many things that we probably agree on.

How can I stop feeling so resentful towards their difference of beliefs and how can I present my beliefs in a calm, respectful manner? How do I explain certain things to them, such as why we ask Mary to pray for us, or why we believe Maccabees, etc. are sacred scripture? I'm really starting to feel frustrated!

God Bless

[guanophore]

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

I am newly Confirmed and so proud of my faith!

Congratulations!

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

I have very close friends who are non-denominational Christians. I think it's great that we are Christian sisters. However, as I have recently been exploring more and more about Christ's Church and the beliefs of His Church, I have been feeling more and more tension towards my friends. It is obvious where we disagree on things. For example, my friends have said that we shouldn't have to "report" our sins to a priest. They also have said that Catholics added things to the Bible and the age-old accusation of worshiping Mary.

I am also feeling resentment because I have recently heard both professors and media persons misrepresenting the Catholic faith. They do so out of ignorance, and most likely have no idea that they are injuring those who espouse this faith.

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

It has never got outwardly tense, but in my heart I can feel myself becoming resentful. I don't want to feel this way! But it feels like they are trying to lead ME to "the truth" by inviting me to Campus Crusade for Christ meetings, and I feel like I already know the truth because I am part of His Church that HE created.

It is important that you avoid such meetings. Find a Catholic source of teaching and fellowship, or a bible study that will not be laced with heresies.

Of course they are excited that you want to live your faith, and will try to influence you by what has been meaningful for them. You must be able to smile, give them a blessing for inviting you, and say that you have other arrangements.

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

Part of me feels like it's a "I'm right, they're wrong" situation. I know it shouldn't be that way, and I know there are many things that we probably agree on.

In fact it IS that way. All Protestants are distinguished by how much, and to what degree, they have departed from Catholic faith. But, as the Catechism says, they cannot be charged with the sin of separation because they are only acting in the tradition of truth they have received. They inherited a trucated faith, and practice it to the best of their ability. Jesus only founded ONE CHURCH, and all those communities, including Campus Crusade, were founded by people who could not tolerate what they believed was Catholic faith.

Most people that oppose Catholicism do so because they are mislead about what the Church believes and teaches. It is your duty to educate yourself about the differences and 1 Peter 3:14-17 Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts reverence Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence; 16 and keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are abused, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

How can I stop feeling so resentful towards their difference of beliefs and how can I present my beliefs in a calm, respectful manner? How do I explain certain things to them, such as why we ask Mary to pray for us, or why we believ Maccabees, etc. are sacred scripture? I'm really starting to feel frustrated!

God Bless

The best way to heal resentment is to pray for the other person(s).

If you stay here on CAF, you will be amply prepared to explain your faith to others. It is also important right now that you immerse yourself in your Catholicism. Find a Catholic radio station in your area where you can get good, solid Catholic teaching. Participate in what your parish and diocese have to offer for your faith formation. Your anger is telling you that an injustice is occurring, and you can take some steps to correct it by informing yourself.

I would recommend that you not try to answer these questions right now, but just say you are not ready to discuss it. In the meantime, avail yourself of the apologetics materials here on the site, so that you can be well prepared.

The Holy Spirit is truly shaping you to defend your faith, and it is your place to become equipped for the work. God bless you!

[FightForFaith]

Thank you so much for addressing all parts of my question so quickly! I am in the process of trying to find Catholic groups to study the Bible with. I have gone to Campus Crusade a couple times... and the atmosphere really turned me off!

When my friends said that Catholics added things to the Bible, I tried to defuse the situation by saying, "It's so crazy how the same book has many different translations and interpretations." I don't want my friends to think I feel entitled because I'm Catholic. I must admit, I do find myself discussing religion quite a bit now with my boyfriend because I feel SO excited to finally be in full communion with the Church. It's like falling in love... you just want to talk your love all the time... and for me, that love is Jesus!

[rfournier103]

Kudos to you for not being "sucked in" to your friends' "group," for being strong enough to know you are justified in your beliefs, and for seeking out friendly voices for guidance.

You are clearly smart enough not to fall into the trap so many other Catholics do, and I applaud you. I encourage you to look all over this website, and you will learn MANY things you were never taught in CCD, or even at Sunday Mass. One hour a week just isn't enough time to learn all you need. I've only been here a short time, and I am amazed at how much I have learned!

In MY OPINION, Catholicism is like school, Cub Scouts, or anything else... YOU GET OUT OF IT WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT.

EDUCATE YOURSELF. This is a GREAT place to do it. We need more and better educated Catholics to make our world a better place. Enjoy the journey... it's worth it!

[rfournier103]

Catholics never added to the Bible. Protestants took 7 books out. Fact; not opinion.

[Leegal]

Originally Posted by guanophore

Congratulations!

It is important that you avoid such meetings. Find a Catholic source of teaching and fellowship, or a bible study that will not be laced with heresies.

Of course they are excited that you want to live your faith, and will try to influence you by what has been meaningful for them. You must be able to smile, give them a blessing for inviting you, and say that you have other arrangements.

If you stay here on CAF, you will be amply prepared to explain your faith to others. It is also important right now that you immerse yourself in your Catholicism. Find a Catholic radio station in your area where you can get good, solid Catholic teaching. Participate in what your parish and diocese have to offer for your faith formation. Your anger is telling you that an injustice is occurring, and you can take some steps to correct it by informing yourself.

I would recommend that you not try to answer these questions right now, but just say you are not ready to discuss it. In the meantime, avail yourself of the apologetics materials here on the site, so that you can be well prepared.

The Holy Spirit is truly shaping you to defend your faith, and it is your place to become equipped for the work. God bless you!

All of this above and .... You must learn for yourself first. It's new to you. There's still a lot of learn. Be patient. And avoid these discussions with those who want to create doubt and resentment.

[guanophore]

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

Thank you so much for addressing all parts of my question so quickly! I am in the process of trying to find Catholic groups to study the Bible with. I have gone to Campus Crusade a couple times... and the atmosphere really turned me off!

I attended CC for many years in college, and enjoyed it a great deal, but got filled with a number of wrong ideas (I did not learn until later). Is there a Newman Center near you, or a FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students?)

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

When my friends said that Catholics added things to the Bible, I tried to defuse the situation by saying, "It's so crazy how the same book has many different translations and interpretations."

This is a common misunderstanding of Protestants. The do not realize that their spiritual ancestors removed books from the Bible because they wanted to reject the doctrine that was supported in those textes (like Macabees). It is interesting to ask them "who decides which books ought to be in the bible, and when were those decisions made?". Most evangelicals "assume" the canon of scripture, and have no knowledge of the history of it.

You will also hear that Catholics "add" to the Bible because we accept Apostolic Teaching that is not constrained to the Scripture, such as the Sacraments, priesthood, liturgy, and many other things we have received from the Apostles. Most Protestants have lost these because their ancestors separated themselves from the apostolic succession over 500 years ago during the Reformation.

There is nowhere in the Bible that it says all the Truth taught by the Apostles are confined to the Bible. Yet, this doctrine, that was created during the reformation, is embraced today as if it was believed by the Apostles (which it was not).

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

I don't want my friends to think I feel entitled because I'm Catholic.

This will be unavoidable. The reason this happens is because the Catholic Church makes claims that no other ecclesial community makes. We claim to be the only Church founded by Christ (all others being started by men beginning some 1500 years later). We claim that the Church is Divine, because her Head is Christ, and she is ensouled by the Holy Spirit, and therefore, is without error. We claim that she preserves the revelation of God in Christ by a power of the HS protecting us from falling into error. These claims are downright wrong to some, and offensive to others, and almost always make us look like we think we are entitled. We ourselves know that all we have is only from God, and that the Catholic Church is entitled because He has entitled her, but to others it often appears we are arrogant because we believe what the Apostles taught in these matters.

[AlltheRoses]

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

I am newly Confirmed and so proud of my faith! I have very close friends who are non-denominational Christians. I think it's great that we are Christian sisters. However, as I have recently been exploring more and more about Christ's Church and the beliefs of His Church, I have been feeling more and more tension towards my friends. It is obvious where we disagree on things. For example, my friends have said that we shouldn't have to "report" our sins to a priest. They also have said that Catholics added things to the Bible and the age-old accusation of worshiping Mary.

It has never got outwardly tense, but in my heart I can feel myself becoming resentful. I don't want to feel this way! But it feels like they are trying to lead ME to "the truth" by inviting me to Campus Crusade for Christ meetings, and I feel like I already know the truth because I am part of His Church that HE created. Part of me feels like it's a "I'm right, they're wrong" situation. I know it shouldn't be that way, and I know there are many things that we probably agree on.

How can I stop feeling so resentful towards their difference of beliefs and how can I present my beliefs in a calm, respectful manner? How do I explain certain things to them, such as why we ask Mary to pray for us, or why we believe Maccabees, etc. are sacred scripture? I'm really starting to feel frustrated!

God Bless

Congratulations on your Confirmation, and your joyful devotion to your faith

If your friends ask you about Reconciliation, just make it clear that you believe, just as they do, that you are confessing your sins to Jesus, and that you seek advice from a priest (just as they would a pastor) to prevent you from falling into a habit of committing the same thing over and over again. If they won't accept that, they are just looking for an argument or a chance to proclaim that they somehow know better what you believe than you do, and you have to ask yourself if they are truly your friends. True friends are willing to listen to your beliefs, rather than tell you what you should believe, and they won't believe anti-Catholic lies.

If they question the number of books in your Bible, calmly state that Martin Luther was actually the one who removed books from the Bible, not the Catholic Church that "added" books. If your friends want to criticize the Church, they should be willing to hear the Catholic side of the story, and, if they aren't, that should be another warning sign that you need to find more respectful friends.

If they put up a fuss about you "worshiping" Mary, just tell them that you ask her to pray on your behalf just as you would ask them to pray for you. Again, if they insist on accusing you of idolatry, you should focus on interacting with Christians who are willing to see you as a sister in Christ.

If you find yourself becoming resentful and you feel tense, rather than relaxed, around your friends, you may need to consider whether your friendship is actually a friendship. Friends should not make us feel tense or resentful. They should be a source of joy and comfort in our lives. Right now, it may be best if you and your friends instituted a mutual ban upon discussion of religious topics, and a focus on common interests besides religion (if there are any other common areas). If your friends only want to be your friend to take you to their religious meetings (in an attempt to convert you), you may have to drift away from them.

However, if you find that you are very happy when you connect with your friends about things besides religion, you may consider eventually talking to them about your religion again. When and if you do talk to them about your religion again, try to emphasize the common ground in your belief systems, and, whenever possible, try to use language that they would understand. A bit of a language gap sometimes causes tension between Catholics and Protestants (especially of the evangelical or non-denominational stripe).

At the end of the day, remember that you only need to "justify" yourself to God, and not to your friends, and that there will be plenty of evangelical and non-denominational Christians who will accept you as the sister in Christ that you are Don't let your heart be hardened by the lies that some people have, unfortunately, been made to believe are true.

[FightForFaith]

Thank you EVERYONE for your responses!! I will definitely take your advice to heart.

I was actually confirmed at my local Newman Center. They are the reason I fell in love with the Catholic faith. They were so different than the church I went to for CCD growing up. They are everything a good parish should be. I will look more into what enrichment opportunities they have there.

My friends are actually my roommates and best friends. Religion is the one thing we disagree on. I try to keep it positive by ensuring them that there are things we have in common. They were very supprtive during my RCIA process, and even attended my Confirmation. It just gets a little tense when we discuss certain doctrines of belief. Maybe I should just steer clear of the subject...

What threads do you suggest I look at to help me beef up on my knowledge of the faith? I want to be as immersed as possible, not someone who just talks out of their behind.

[guanophore]

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

Thank you EVERYONE for your responses!! I will definitely take your advice to heart.

I was actually confirmed at my local Newman Center. They are the reason I fell in love with the Catholic faith. They were so different than the church I went to for CCD growing up. They are everything a good parish should be. I will look more into what enrichment opportunities they have there.

My friends are actually my roommates and best friends. Religion is the one thing we disagree on. I try to keep it positive by ensuring them that there are things we have in common. They were very supprtive during my RCIA process, and even attended my Confirmation. It just gets a little tense when we discuss certain doctrines of belief. Maybe I should just steer clear of the subject...

You are right, it is appropriate to be circumspect and to focus on your shared beliefs. By doing this, you can easily change the subject when doctrinal differences come up that you are not yet ready to enter. You can always say "I need to research that topic so I can understand it better! Can we talk about it more later?" It is also fine to say you don't know, or "I sure to have a lot to learn about faith and doctrine".

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

What threads do you suggest I look at to help me beef up on my knowledge of the faith? I want to be as immersed as possible, not someone who just talks out of their behind.

You can enter any search terms here to find threads, as all these things have been discussed at lenght here. If you want a more organized summary, I suggest:

http://www.catholic.com/tracts

You can also put search terms in there. The Catholic Catechism, which is also free online is a good resource, but you might consider getting a copy for yourself.

Take your time, because you are not going to grasp 2000 years of history and doctrine immediately. Once you are clear on your own faith, you can move on to understand how Protestants have departed from it.

[Trebor135]

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

I am newly Confirmed and so proud of my faith! I have very close friends who are non-denominational Christians. I think it's great that we are Christian sisters. However, as I have recently been exploring more and more about Christ's Church and the beliefs of His Church, I have been feeling more and more tension towards my friends. It is obvious where we disagree on things. For example, my friends have said that we shouldn't have to "report" our sins to a priest. They also have said that Catholics added things to the Bible and the age-old accusation of worshiping Mary.

It has never got outwardly tense, but in my heart I can feel myself becoming resentful. I don't want to feel this way! But it feels like they are trying to lead ME to "the truth" by inviting me to Campus Crusade for Christ meetings, and I feel like I already know the truth because I am part of His Church that HE created. Part of me feels like it's a "I'm right, they're wrong" situation. I know it shouldn't be that way, and I know there are many things that we probably agree on.

How can I stop feeling so resentful towards their difference of beliefs and how can I present my beliefs in a calm, respectful manner? How do I explain certain things to them, such as why we ask Mary to pray for us, or why we believe Maccabees, etc. are sacred scripture? I'm really starting to feel frustrated!

God Bless

I like what Guanophore wrote in post #2: "Your anger is telling you that an injustice is occurring, and you can take some steps to correct it by informing yourself."

I second this comment wholeheartedly. If you become as knowledgeable as possible about your faith, you won't be feeling defensive all the time: in fact, you'll be giving your "non-denominational" (i.e., Baptist/Pentecostal without knowing or admitting it) Christian friends a lot to chew on.

If you focus on these areas and learn them backwards, forwards, and upside-down, you'll be inoculated, and can even inoculate others, against falling for the misguided objections of evangelical Protestants: Sacred Tradition, visible church, salvation by grace through faith and works, sacraments, penance, purgatory/indulgences, the sacrifice of the Mass, and St. Mary and the saints.

I know where you've been. When one is facing a stream of (potentially uncharitable) attacks--blatant or subtle--from friends and acquaintances on one's religious beliefs, without one understanding the "what" and "why" of one's faith, then emotions of intense anxiety and frustration, even resentment, are inevitable.

May Christ guide and protect you forever. May the Theotokos pray for you always. Amen.

[CopticChristian]

Originally Posted by FightForFaith

I am newly Confirmed and so proud of my faith! I have very close friends who are non-denominational Christians. I think it's great that we are Christian sisters. However, as I have recently been exploring more and more about Christ's Church and the beliefs of His Church, I have been feeling more and more tension towards my friends. It is obvious where we disagree on things. For example, my friends have said that we shouldn't have to "report" our sins to a priest. They also have said that Catholics added things to the Bible and the age-old accusation of worshiping Mary.

It has never got outwardly tense, but in my heart I can feel myself becoming resentful. I don't want to feel this way! But it feels like they are trying to lead ME to "the truth" by inviting me to Campus Crusade for Christ meetings, and I feel like I already know the truth because I am part of His Church that HE created. Part of me feels like it's a "I'm right, they're wrong" situation. I know it shouldn't be that way, and I know there are many things that we probably agree on.

How can I stop feeling so resentful towards their difference of beliefs and how can I present my beliefs in a calm, respectful manner? How do I explain certain things to them, such as why we ask Mary to pray for us, or why we believe Maccabees, etc. are sacred scripture? I'm really starting to feel frustrated!

God Bless

Fight,

I think it is dispicable and an outrage that anyone should have to report our sins to a priest. Unfortunately we sin. Ask your friends if they sin. Wow one thing in common. Next I would ask you do you report your sins? I doubt it. You confess your sins. Ask your friends if they believe that they should confess their sins? Wow two things in common. Now having confessed your sins you make a firm act to repent and not do it again as part of the confessing. Ask your friends if they believe that they should repent of their sins. Wow now you have three things in common. They do not believe that there is grace to be had in the sacrament and you do...too bad for them...you need not discuss this any further with them unless asked....What is there to be resentful about here?

I hate to tell you but your friends are right. Catholics did add to the Bible...yup, said it right here...gotta confess...we did it...sure as shootin, page numbers and verse number as well as names of the books...we did it..uh huh...oh yeah and sometimes we put the Impramatur on it...so there you have it ..we did that.

The present chapter divisions were first introduced in the Vulgate Bible in 1205 by Stephen Langton, a professor in Paris (later Archbishop of Canterbury).

Now the real question for your friends should be who removed the deuterocanonicals from the Bible. You can tell them to look here for the 1611 King James..

http://sceti.library.upenn.edu/sceti...PagePosition=1

That has the books they do not have. Ask them why they don't have them and who took them out of the King James.

Wow. Another cat out of the Bag. Catholics do worship Mary. Rather I should say Catholics did worship Mary. It is a heresy called Collyridianism and was condemned. There may still be some Collyridians around so let them know that the Catholic Church will not tolerate heresy.

Campus Crusade you should know has the patented sinners prayer...yup...the sinners prayer written by Bill Brite has a patent. Ask them to see a copy of this prayer and it is patented. So if it is patented then it could not be handed down from the Apostles so ask them when did this sinners prayer originate and why does it have a patent.

Get educatated about your faith so that you can ease your resentment and realize that you have found the OHCAC. Keep coming back and ask questions.

[guanophore]

Originally Posted by CopticChristian

I hate to tell you but your friends are right. Catholics did add to the Bible...yup, said it right here...gotta confess...we did it...sure as shootin, page numbers and verse number as well as names of the books...we did it..uh huh...oh yeah and sometimes we put the Impramatur on it...so there you have it ..we did that.

Not to mention Catholics wrote 27 memoirs and letters that were subsequently added by the Catholic Church to the Bible, and called them the New Testament.

[CopticChristian]

Originally Posted by guanophore

Not to mention Catholics wrote 27 memoirs and letters that were subsequently added by the Catholic Church to the Bible, and called them the New Testament.

G. man,

Have not seen you in a while...

[guanophore]

Originally Posted by CopticChristian

G. man,

Have not seen you in a while...

Been working on a doctoral dissertation. Very time consuming.