Is it okay to have "porn" of your wife?

[bmaj]

Originally Posted by Lochias

If you're going to do what you want to do anyway, why in the world did you feel the need to ask?

I was thinking the same thing!!!

[Pyrocat]

As an archaeologist and a sentimental I know how important a 'record' of a happy time can be, but as far as I can tell you didn't participate in the creation of the photos so is it really involving you and God, or just your wife, and therefore what is it really recording that's so special to you?
I don't think having the pictures is a sin but if you begin to lust after them that's bad, lust is a sin. Likewise if you start viewing the pictures as a reward for good behaviour porn-wise that probably would lead to addiction to the photos. If at any time you feel you're at the very top of the slope leading back into porn or another addiction, don't bother turning around, take the slope away and destroy the photos, explain to your wife, I'm sure she'll understand.
You may also want to put something in your will about your pc being wiped without being viewed, or thrown in the thames or something.
God bless

[bmaj]

Originally Posted by c0ldb33r

........ I've really been trying to clean up my life. I used to have a real porn habit (which I'm getting over - slowly but surely) and have deleted all porn off of all of my digital devices.

.....
A few years ago my wife took some very pretty nude (mostly) pictures of herself. Not what I'd call porn, but certainly only meant for me

Is it a sin to keep these? Are these porn?

I don't think they are... they won't make be lust after other women and while I know it's a sin to objectify women, these are going to make my objectify my wife - I love her not just sexually, but also emotionally, spiritually and intellectually.

I'd like to hear your input

I just realized that in your first post you indicated that you "used to have a real porn habit" that you're "getting over, slowly but surely." The fact that you indicated it was a very significant habit and that you're not even "over it" yet leads me to feel even more strongly that you should probably get rid of the photos as soon as possible for the sake of your future progress in that regard..... Sounds like you're definitely not out of the woods yet as far as the addiction goes, and from what I understand that accomplishment can take a real long time - sometimes years and sometimes forever, unfortunately.

It can also help to ask for St. Michael the Archangel's intercession for assistance for strength and guidance in doing God's will and overcoming satan's lure. St. Michael is a mighty powerful source of help!

[c0ldb33r]

Originally Posted by Lochias

If you're going to do what you want to do anyway, why in the world did you feel the need to ask?

Just because someone asks for input doesnt mean that theyll accept it, but rather that theyll take it under advisement. So thanks again.

[Lochias]

Originally Posted by c0ldb33r

Just because someone asks for input doesnt mean that theyll accept it, but rather that theyll take it under advisement. So thanks again.

...whatever. It's your soul and your risk, sir. Just remember, you can't say nobody "told you so". You're welcome.

[c0ldb33r]

After thinking about it some more, I think it makes sense to get rid of the images.

For clarity, I don't think that there's anything wrong with most people having sexy images of your wife, as long as they don't lead you to objectify her.

Also, I don't think considerations as to whether the images will be found by others are relevant (provided that your wife knows about them and is okay with it obviously!). I do agree that these are practical concerns though, but I didn't have any concern about them being found.

Also, I don't think that my wife would be hurt if I kept them for years and she found them - I think that she'd probably enjoy the memories - I understand that this may not be the same for all spouses and is applicable only to us.

HOWEVER, my concern is the slippery slope. I've been 100% successful in avoiding porn, and I don't want to risk that. After thinking about it, It'd be like a recovering alcoholic keeping wine in his house because it's home-made wine. I can't really justify it.

So, if you don't have any issues with porn, I think you'd be okay to keep sexy spouse image (keep em private/safe), but for me it's too risky.

Thanks everyone.

[PaulGH]

Originally Posted by c0ldb33r

After thinking about it some more, I think it makes sense to get rid of the images.

For clarity, I don't think that there's anything wrong with most people having sexy images of your wife, as long as they don't lead you to objectify her.

Also, I don't think considerations as to whether the images will be found by others are relevant (provided that your wife knows about them and is okay with it obviously!). I do agree that these are practical concerns though, but I didn't have any concern about them being found.

Also, I don't think that my wife would be hurt if I kept them for years and she found them - I think that she'd probably enjoy the memories - I understand that this may not be the same for all spouses and is applicable only to us.

HOWEVER, my concern is the slippery slope. I've been 100% successful in avoiding porn, and I don't want to risk that. After thinking about it, It'd be like a recovering alcoholic keeping wine in his house because it's home-made wine. I can't really justify it.

So, if you don't have any issues with porn, I think you'd be okay to keep sexy spouse image (keep em private/safe), but for me it's too risky.

Thanks everyone.

One possibility is that your wife could keep them, with you not having access to them. That way, they are not thrown away, but you don't have access to them. And then some years in the future, if the pictures no longer tempt you to lust or to viewing porn, your wife can show the pictures to you again, while still keeping custody of them.

[bmaj]

Originally Posted by c0ldb33r

After thinking about it some more, I think it makes sense to get rid of the images.

For clarity, I don't think that there's anything wrong with most people having sexy images of your wife, as long as they don't lead you to objectify her.

Also, I don't think considerations as to whether the images will be found by others are relevant (provided that your wife knows about them and is okay with it obviously!). I do agree that these are practical concerns though, but I didn't have any concern about them being found.

Also, I don't think that my wife would be hurt if I kept them for years and she found them - I think that she'd probably enjoy the memories - I understand that this may not be the same for all spouses and is applicable only to us.

HOWEVER, my concern is the slippery slope. I've been 100% successful in avoiding porn, and I don't want to risk that. After thinking about it, It'd be like a recovering alcoholic keeping wine in his house because it's home-made wine. I can't really justify it.

So, if you don't have any issues with porn, I think you'd be okay to keep sexy spouse image (keep em private/safe), but for me it's too risky.

Thanks everyone.

So glad to read this, C! Keep up the great work on building and having a beautiful sacramental marriage in the eyes of God, and all else will follow. May God bless you and your wife always and guide you every step of the way.

[surritter]

Originally Posted by PaulGH

One possibility is that your wife could keep them, with you not having access to them. That way, they are not thrown away, but you don't have access to them. And then some years in the future, if the pictures no longer tempt you to lust or to viewing porn, your wife can show the pictures to you again, while still keeping custody of them.

For most of this thread, I've sided with those who say that it's OK to have such images. But I really like this idea.
To have such pictures is not intrinsically wrong. A man is certainly permitted to visualize his wife naked or in a sexy way. So simply having a printed sexy image is no different! There is no intrinsic problem.
But because of the numerous logistic issues with having a physical print (such as keeping it private, and not allowing it to tempt the man to masturbate), it is wise to implement ways to avoid these pitfalls.
Thanks, Paul, for the good suggestion to the OP!

[Faber]

Good Grief...All this playin around with the facts - there's nothing noble about titillating yourself w/ naked pictures of your wife. It's pleasurable, there's no doubt about that, but you cannot justify it as a "good" in a sacramental marriage. I can't either...(-* At minimum it indicates an inordinate interest in your bride as an object of pleasure and there's no way you can justify that unless you willfully do so regardless of Church teachings. Godspeed brother.