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Apr 26, '12, 10:52 pm
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Junior Member
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Join Date: November 1, 2011
Posts: 234
Religion: Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you... But its still on the list...
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"Shepherd me O God, beyond my wants, beyond my fears, from death into life."
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Apr 26, '12, 10:53 pm
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Junior Member
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Join Date: November 1, 2011
Posts: 234
Religion: Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
If I agreed with you then we would both be wrong 
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"Shepherd me O God, beyond my wants, beyond my fears, from death into life."
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Apr 27, '12, 9:41 pm
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Regular Member
Prayer Warrior
Book Club Member
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Join Date: May 10, 2010
Posts: 3,208
Religion: Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
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Gratia vobis et pax multiplicetur,
Fr. Eric
Diocese of Savannah
( disclaimer)
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Apr 29, '12, 1:15 pm
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Regular Member
Book Club Member
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Join Date: August 18, 2007
Posts: 3,174
Religion: ROMAN CATHOLIC
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
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Sugar and Spice, that's me . . . so don't mistake me for a "he" 
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Apr 29, '12, 1:26 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: February 20, 2011
Posts: 1,293
Religion: Roman Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
Agent Wash, you just got--- [fires shotgun at pile of explosives by Washington which blows up] Ah, da(ng)it! I messed up my one-liner! - Sarge (from Red vs. Blue)
We're not retreating, we're advancing to future victories! - Sarge (from Red vs. Blue)
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"The fatal metaphor of progress, which means leaving things behind us, has utterly obscured the real idea of growth, which is leaving things inside us." - G.K. Chesterton.
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Apr 29, '12, 1:32 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: August 22, 2011
Posts: 572
Religion: Roman Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
The eyes are the groin of the head
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"Priesthood is the love for the Heart of Jesus!" ~St. John Vianney.
"The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord." (1 Cor. 7:32)
"Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." Mat. 4:19
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Apr 29, '12, 2:01 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: June 6, 2010
Posts: 2,189
Religion: Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by followingtheway
A Christian pick up line I heard today:
"I was looking through the book of Number's yesterday and I realized, I don't have yours.  " |
If we kiss, we'll both become second-class relics.
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"Saruman believes it only great power that can keep evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I have found it is the little deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small deeds of kindness and love" Gandalf
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Apr 29, '12, 7:55 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: February 20, 2011
Posts: 1,293
Religion: Roman Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SMA_12
The last thing I want to do is hurt you... But its still on the list...
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a similar quote - "I have half a mind to kill you... and the other half agrees."
Also some others I wasn't able to add before -
"A black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem."
"A brain like a BB in a boxcar / box of Corn Flakes."
"A couple of slates short of a full roof."
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"The fatal metaphor of progress, which means leaving things behind us, has utterly obscured the real idea of growth, which is leaving things inside us." - G.K. Chesterton.
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Apr 29, '12, 10:41 pm
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Regular Member
Book Club Member
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Join Date: November 13, 2004
Posts: 4,179
Religion: Catholic (Latin Rite)
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it." - Winston Churchill (really)
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Popes are designated "the Great" by popular acclaim. Please join me in always referring to Pope Blessed John Paul-2 as "Blessed John Paul the Great."
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Apr 29, '12, 11:14 pm
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New Member
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Join Date: July 16, 2011
Posts: 52
Religion: Catholic (convert, Easter 2010)
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
When going to confession, one needs to be sin-cere.
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Apr 30, '12, 11:13 am
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Regular Member
Prayer Warrior
Book Club Member
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Join Date: May 10, 2010
Posts: 3,208
Religion: Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
__________________
Gratia vobis et pax multiplicetur,
Fr. Eric
Diocese of Savannah
( disclaimer)
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Apr 30, '12, 11:13 am
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Senior Member
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Join Date: March 17, 2007
Posts: 7,539
Religion: Roman Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericfilmer
the sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
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Hahaha
__________________
ORA et LABORA
 <--click
Totus Tuus
SS Benedetto,Scholastica,Gregorio Magno,Francesca Romana e Giovanni Gualberto pregate per noi
Cacciatore/Fungaiolo
________________________________________ ________________
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Apr 30, '12, 12:12 pm
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Regular Member
Prayer Warrior
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Join Date: September 22, 2009
Posts: 1,135
Religion: Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
Ah. Speaking of dear Mr. Churchill, here are a couple of my favorites:
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile—hoping it will eat him last.
Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.
Once in a while you will stumble upon the truth but most of us manage to pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had happened.
If you are going to go through hell, keep going.
You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is. (Now how to get others to see it?)
Meh, there's a bunch of other good ones here:
http://listverse.com/2007/11/22/top-...rchill-quotes/ 
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Crux sacra sit mihi lux! Nunquam draco sit mihi dux!
(May the holy cross be my light! May the dragon never be my guide!)
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Apr 30, '12, 7:01 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: June 6, 2010
Posts: 2,189
Religion: Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
__________________
"Saruman believes it only great power that can keep evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I have found it is the little deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small deeds of kindness and love" Gandalf
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Apr 30, '12, 8:46 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: December 6, 2006
Posts: 918
Religion: Catholic
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Re: One Liners (Know some good, clean one-liner jokes? Post them here!)
There's always free cheese in a mouse trap.
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