Catholic FAQ


Latest Threads
newest posts



Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Liturgy and Sacraments
 

Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums, the largest Catholic Community on the Web.

Here you can join over 400,000 members from around the world discussing all things Catholic. Membership is open to all, Catholic and non-Catholic alike, who seek the Truth with Charity.

To gain full access, you must register for a FREE account. Registered members are able to:
  • Submit questions about the faith to experts from Catholic Answers
  • Participate in all forum discussions
  • Communicate privately with Catholics from around the world
  • Plus join a prayer group, read with the Book Club, and much more.
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. So join our community today!

Have a question about registration or your account log-in? Just contact our Support Hotline.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search Thread Display
  #1  
Old May 6, '12, 4:45 am
keepingfaith4 keepingfaith4 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: January 28, 2012
Posts: 38
Religion: catholic
Default needing some help with communion issue

i am a catechist for many years but now am in a new parish due to a recent move.AFTER preparing my older students(9 to 14) for first holy communion,the dre has told 2 of them they cannot receive two weeks before the sacraments are to be given because their caretakers missed getting them to the retreat(a half day event).i had to tell the families there is nothing i can do and to go speak to the spanish priest(i am not very fluent in spanish).this priest was not a part of this decision and seems to have little say in parish affairs.

on top of this i received a lecture from the pastor cause i asked for at least one spanish hymn to be played in the communion mass as 90% of the kids are hispanic---the head of the music liturgy was fine with this.

i am ready to leave this parish as a member and a catechist but regretfully cause i so like the hispanic families---any advice appreciated
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old May 6, '12, 5:39 am
Pfaffenhoffen Pfaffenhoffen is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: August 4, 2011
Posts: 4,043
Religion: Roman Catholic Church, Latin Rite
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

Quote:
Originally Posted by keepingfaith4 View Post
i am a catechist for many years but now am in a new parish due to a recent move.AFTER preparing my older students(9 to 14) for first holy communion,the dre has told 2 of them they cannot receive two weeks before the sacraments are to be given because their caretakers missed getting them to the retreat(a half day event).i had to tell the families there is nothing i can do and to go speak to the spanish priest(i am not very fluent in spanish).this priest was not a part of this decision and seems to have little say in parish affairs.

on top of this i received a lecture from the pastor cause i asked for at least one spanish hymn to be played in the communion mass as 90% of the kids are hispanic---the head of the music liturgy was fine with this.

i am ready to leave this parish as a member and a catechist but regretfully cause i so like the hispanic families---any advice appreciated


The priests are humans, make dumb decisions like everyone of us.
So of them are used to give orders and to dialogue little.
I think you should not move from the Parish.
Obedience is pretious at the eyes of God and you may teach a great lesson of obediecne to your kids.
But...do insist, insist, insist, insist. Never give up.
It seems your parish needs a brave person like you to change things....
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old May 6, '12, 5:57 am
bmullins's Avatar
bmullins bmullins is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: June 15, 2011
Posts: 1,876
Religion: Roman Catholic
Send a message via ICQ to bmullins Send a message via Yahoo to bmullins
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

In the end he is responsible for the Parish and has chosen to run it a certain way. I don't know the details so I'm not going to comment on his decision. I do know that we have to be there for each other. If we are truly there to serve God and our brothers and sisters, then small matters such as these won't make us leave, but will make us instead work harder to make sure the gospel is being proclaimed. As Jesus said, "Do what they say, not what they do."
__________________
"It is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly...." - CCC 2418
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old May 6, '12, 7:27 am
Neofight Neofight is online now
Regular Member
 
Join Date: December 28, 2011
Posts: 1,367
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

Perhaps, whether the priest is "right or wrong" is not the issue. If you are uncomfortable in your parish, to the point that it impacts on your spirtual well being, by all means look for another parish! Just don't let your unhappiness or disagreement with a priest to drive a wedge of separation between you and God!

I'll pray you find peace, whatever route you take!

Pax
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old May 6, '12, 2:50 pm
keepingfaith4 keepingfaith4 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: January 28, 2012
Posts: 38
Religion: catholic
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

Quote:
Originally Posted by Neofight View Post
Perhaps, whether the priest is "right or wrong" is not the issue. If you are uncomfortable in your parish, to the point that it impacts on your spirtual well being, by all means look for another parish! Just don't let your unhappiness or disagreement with a priest to drive a wedge of separation between you and God!

I'll pray you find peace, whatever route you take!

Pax

thank you so much for all your responses!--i do need your prayers and support--after mass today i was angrily informed by the dre that ALL communion masses will be in total english and it is too bad that not everyone can understand it---followed by--"they"live in america and they need to learn english!--All this over a request for one spanish song during the spanish children's first holy communion mass-----i moved here from a church that offered masses towards spanish,vietnamese,polish parishoners and in latin too(and it was a smaller parish)
i keep thinking how CHRIST gave his disciples the power of other languages so they can go out and evangelize to many------this English only attitude to me is so unchristian and a lot of these families need the church in their lives desperately

i apologize for the length but this issue feels painful to me and so unchristianlike
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old May 6, '12, 4:44 pm
hannajomar hannajomar is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: January 6, 2012
Posts: 1,001
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

That's a tough decision you have, keepingfaith4. You obviously care a lot about these kids, Jesus, and the Church. It can be a difficult balance between simply obeying the pastor or other superiors and loving charity towards people. I wish I had some advice for you.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old May 7, '12, 10:10 am
sacredcow sacredcow is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: April 26, 2012
Posts: 31
Religion: catholic
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

The actions of your pastor violate the directives of multiple church teachings. We are supposed to take into account things like age and culture. I myself have had to deal with an openly racist music director who despised hispanics and refused to let them play guitars in church. She forced her organ playing on them and treated them with contempt and hostility. The caucasian/Italian pastor supported her. The spanish choir had about 6 members as a result. Our new pastor was from a third world country and immmediately allowed the spanish to have their own instruments, now they have a 30 person choir and all kinds of beautiful instruments. Attendance at that mass is way up. If I had not seen myself what you are talking about I would have found it hard to believe.

I would respectfully bring your concerns to the Bishop in your diocese. This is your privilege and is not being disobedient. By not providing music suitable to the age and culture of his parishioners, the Pastor is missing a great opportunity. Again, I understand and empathize with you completely.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old May 7, '12, 10:25 am
Irishgal49's Avatar
Irishgal49 Irishgal49 is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: June 21, 2011
Posts: 1,398
Religion: Homeless at the moment
Send a message via Yahoo to Irishgal49
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pfaffenhoffen View Post
The priests are humans, make dumb decisions like everyone of us.
So of them are used to give orders and to dialogue little.
I think you should not move from the Parish.
Obedience is pretious at the eyes of God and you may teach a great lesson of obediecne to your kids.
But...do insist, insist, insist, insist. Never give up.
It seems your parish needs a brave person like you to change things....
I say move. I spent years being hit over the head with "obedience" and made no progress in my spiritual growth. Once I did, I took off like a rocket and really improved my relationship with God. The beauty of the faith is there are tons of Churches. Now if you're moving every other year or having massive problems in multiple parishes, then you might want to get a spiritual director to see what is wrong.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old May 7, '12, 11:46 am
keepingfaith4 keepingfaith4 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: January 28, 2012
Posts: 38
Religion: catholic
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishgal49 View Post
I say move. I spent years being hit over the head with "obedience" and made no progress in my spiritual growth. Once I did, I took off like a rocket and really improved my relationship with God. The beauty of the faith is there are tons of Churches. Now if you're moving every other year or having massive problems in multiple parishes, then you might want to get a spiritual director to see what is wrong.
this is my first move to a new home and a new church in twenty years---so i gave this church a chance for the entire two years i have been in this area and things are getting worse.My first class of FIRST HOLY COMMUNION STUDENTS received saturday and my second class of primarily 99% hispanic children are receiving this saturday may 12th and for the first time i got to see how hatefully these wonderful hispanic parishoners are treated---one quote thrown at me"there will never be spanish spoken at first communion mass"they" need to learn english if "they" want to hear this mass and sing(referring to the FIRST COMMUNION MASS entirely controlled by the dre and pastor

this past week had only a 40%hispanic group with no instructions in spanish before the mass started so my daughter and i went around to as many families as we could in our poor spanish to direct them to photographers and changing rooms and whatever we could

the dre and his helpers went around with sour faces complaining about too many people and etc---a very very unjoyous atmosphere on what should be a joyful occasion---we are both disheartened
my dilemma---if i leave will the next person treat the kids well and reach out to the families or do i stay and try harder to improve things by bringing this to diocesan attention
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old May 7, '12, 11:54 am
anonymous in fl anonymous in fl is offline
Regular Member
Book Club Member
 
Join Date: July 16, 2010
Posts: 567
Religion: Catholic
Smile Re: needing some help with communion issue

That attitude wouldn't last long in south Florida where everything has to be done in 3 languages: english, spanish, and creole.

If there is a large minority population in any parish, they should at least be given some pastoral care in their native language if it is at all possible. Songs/music in spanish is one example; trying to incorporate mass responses in spanish is another.

Thank you for trying to help the spanish-speaking members of your parish.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old May 7, '12, 12:06 pm
jmcrae's Avatar
jmcrae jmcrae is offline
Forum Elder
 
Join Date: September 7, 2006
Posts: 34,675
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

Quote:
Originally Posted by keepingfaith4 View Post
i am a catechist for many years but now am in a new parish due to a recent move.AFTER preparing my older students(9 to 14) for first holy communion,the dre has told 2 of them they cannot receive two weeks before the sacraments are to be given because their caretakers missed getting them to the retreat(a half day event).
It is allowed for the pastor to require that the participants attend the lessons and the Retreat. This isn't "extra" - it's part of the preparation process.

It would be important to review the communication process - if people thought that the Retreat was optional when in fact it was required, then it signifies that there is a communication break-down somewhere along the line.
__________________
According to Quentin Tarentino, (Kill Bill Volume 2) Clark Kent is Superman's opinion of the human race. It occurs to me that, using the same logic, Jesus of Nazareth is God's.

Tiber Swim Team - Class of 2001
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old May 7, '12, 12:15 pm
agnes therese's Avatar
agnes therese agnes therese is offline
Regular Member
Book Club Member
 
Join Date: August 18, 2010
Posts: 4,297
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

Quote:
Originally Posted by keepingfaith4 View Post
[b]
my dilemma---if i leave will the next person treat the kids well and reach out to the families or do i stay and try harder to improve things by bringing this to diocesan attention
I think you should stay, and try to bring this to your bishop's attention. If you leave without trying, you'll always wonder if you could have improved the situation.
__________________
"When all is said and done, we are infinitely loved."
Pope Francis, Evangelii Gaudium
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old May 8, '12, 1:01 am
Pfaffenhoffen Pfaffenhoffen is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: August 4, 2011
Posts: 4,043
Religion: Roman Catholic Church, Latin Rite
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishgal49 View Post
I say move. I spent years being hit over the head with "obedience" and made no progress in my spiritual growth. Once I did, I took off like a rocket and really improved my relationship with God. The beauty of the faith is there are tons of Churches. Now if you're moving every other year or having massive problems in multiple parishes, then you might want to get a spiritual director to see what is wrong.


I would say "stay".
Obedience is not all.
I would follow Ghandi and King with their silent or peaceful revolution. Peaceful BUT revolution.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old May 8, '12, 1:08 am
Pfaffenhoffen Pfaffenhoffen is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: August 4, 2011
Posts: 4,043
Religion: Roman Catholic Church, Latin Rite
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

Quote:
Originally Posted by keepingfaith4 View Post
this is my first move to a new home and a new church in twenty years---so i gave this church a chance for the entire two years i have been in this area and things are getting worse.My first class of FIRST HOLY COMMUNION STUDENTS received saturday and my second class of primarily 99% hispanic children are receiving this saturday may 12th and for the first time i got to see how hatefully these wonderful hispanic parishoners are treated---one quote thrown at me"there will never be spanish spoken at first communion mass"they" need to learn english if "they" want to hear this mass and sing(referring to the FIRST COMMUNION MASS entirely controlled by the dre and pastor

this past week had only a 40%hispanic group with no instructions in spanish before the mass started so my daughter and i went around to as many families as we could in our poor spanish to direct them to photographers and changing rooms and whatever we could

the dre and his helpers went around with sour faces complaining about too many people and etc---a very very unjoyous atmosphere on what should be a joyful occasion---we are both disheartened
my dilemma---if i leave will the next person treat the kids well and reach out to the families or do i stay and try harder to improve things by bringing this to diocesan attention


Again, remember Luther King and what he did?
He was is a worse situation and did it!
That priest needs help so that someone may open his blind eyes. If you are brave enough, do it! One step at a time! Speak softly but with assertiveness. Repeat what you want 10 times. Softy. Never lower your eyes.
2 times you lose, 1 you win. You are going forward.
I am giving you the steps that are better.
I would not have the guts to do it. I would explode! But I think my way would not be the best way !!!
Ghandi and Luther King came and gave us the way adapted to our times of a Christian way of bein in society. Not violent revolution. No passive obedience.
But non-violent revolution.
You will know what the best way is for you.
I am just thinking aloud and trying to help.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old May 8, '12, 10:46 am
keepingfaith4 keepingfaith4 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: January 28, 2012
Posts: 38
Religion: catholic
Default Re: needing some help with communion issue

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pfaffenhoffen View Post
Again, remember Luther King and what he did?
He was is a worse situation and did it!
That priest needs help so that someone may open his blind eyes. If you are brave enough, do it! One step at a time! Speak softly but with assertiveness. Repeat what you want 10 times. Softy. Never lower your eyes.
2 times you lose, 1 you win. You are going forward.
I am giving you the steps that are better.
I would not have the guts to do it. I would explode! But I think my way would not be the best way !!!
Ghandi and Luther King came and gave us the way adapted to our times of a Christian way of bein in society. Not violent revolution. No passive obedience.
But non-violent revolution.
You will know what the best way is for you.
I am just thinking aloud and trying to help.
i love your advice--my timidity comes from the fact that both the pastor and the dre has exploded in rage even last week at a 7 year old with adhd for not reading along with the prayer(child has learning difficulties)--my gut response was to smack him(the dre)---so this is my dilemma---time to go back to the rosary daily for strength in this

i feel i need to continue to reach kids and families to return to GOD but obedience to rules and behaviors that turn people away from God and CATHOLICISM(as interpreted by these misguided individuals)are leading some of these families to non traditional and cultish type of groups
Reply With Quote
Reply

Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Liturgy and Sacraments

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search Thread
Search Thread:

Advanced Search
Display

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Prayer Intentions

Most Active Groups
8255Meet and talk,talk talk
Last by: janiejnb
5018CAF Prayer Warriors Support Group
Last by: UpUpAndAway
4345Devotion to the Sorrowful Mother
Last by: lsbar
4029OCD/Scrupulosity Group
Last by: B79
3833SOLITUDE
Last by: tuscany
3567Let's empty Purgatory
Last by: RJB
3226Poems and Reflections
Last by: PathWalker
3203Catholic Vegetarians & Vegans
Last by: memphian
3122Petitions Before the Blessed Sacrament
Last by: Amiciel
3048For seniors and shut- ins
Last by: tammany



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 5:25 am.

Home RSS Feeds - Home - Archive - Top

Copyright © 2004-2014, Catholic Answers.