This is why I'll never send my kids to public school

[Schieffelin]

Originally Posted by Gena

There's an old adage about "never say never..."

Before I became a mom, I said that I would never send my child(ren) to public school. I had many reasons for this, including the ones you posted about.

Then I had a child with multiple disabilities: autism, vision impairment, language processing disorder, and others. The Catholic schools in my area simply do not have the resources to work with my child. The public schools do. Sure, there is homeschooling, but in the current economy both my husband and I need to work. Plus, my son needs the specialized teaching methods and therapies that the school can provide. So I have had to learn the public school system, and the special education system, and how to make that work for our family. My son is thriving in a special education classroom at our local public school.

Sometimes God - in His infinite wisdom - sends you different challenges than the ones you expect.

I understand. Each child and each family is different, and I have no way of knowing what the future holds. But in general I can see that my brothers and many of my peers lost their faith as a result of the education system. I consider it a miracle that I escaped with my faith intact. My parents put some of us in a "good" public school because they felt they had no choice, and they were vigilant about making sure we were taught the Catholic faith outside of the classroom. At the time I thought their choices were correct, but in hindsight I think it was a mistake.

I can't judge your and your decisions, or anyone else here. But I feel lately that my eyes have been fully opened to the reality of what is happening in the schools (public and private). The brainwashing is subtle and insidious, and extremely dangerous.

[heart4home]

Originally Posted by Gena

There's an old adage about "never say never..."

Before I became a mom, I said that I would never send my child(ren) to public school. I had many reasons for this, including the ones you posted about.

Then I had a child with multiple disabilities: autism, vision impairment, language processing disorder, and others. The Catholic schools in my area simply do not have the resources to work with my child. The public schools do. Sure, there is homeschooling, but in the current economy both my husband and I need to work. Plus, my son needs the specialized teaching methods and therapies that the school can provide. So I have had to learn the public school system, and the special education system, and how to make that work for our family. My son is thriving in a special education classroom at our local public school.

Sometimes God - in His infinite wisdom - sends you different challenges than the ones you expect.

There will always be exceptions. Illness, death of a parent, a severely disabled child, but my first choice will always be to homeschool our children. It seems reasonable to believe that a disabled child is not as likely to be influenced in the same way as a "typical" child, and certainly there may be times that the advantages of specialized therapies etc. may out weight the risks.

However regarding hard economic times, if my husband and I are both living and able and if we should suddenly find ourselves in need of additional income then we would go to working opposite hours before making the choice to send them to public school. I've been a SAHM for a long time, but in the beginning, that is exactly what we chose to do to avoid daycare.

As a parent I believe that I will often be called to make sacrifices for the sake of our children and while giving up my dream career for a less satisfying job felt a bit like one in the beginning it allowed me to be able to fulfill my duties in caring for and educating our children so I willingly did so. I take the command in scripture to teach them diligently very seriously.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

I'm not saying it's impossible when they are at school all day and then busy with homework activities etc. but it sure makes it a lot more challenging. Add into that the increasing indoctrination done in public schools in regards to so many things that go against Church Teachings and Christian morals and beliefs and well I'd do just about anything to avoid it.

[LaughingBoy1503]

Originally Posted by Schieffelin

This week just about everyone I went to high school or college with has been pushing the pro-homosexuality agenda on their facebook page (I grew up in NC and they had a vote this week on a constitutional amendment to define marriage as between a man and a woman).

I can look back to the 10+ years ago when we were in school and say with certainty that these seeds were all being planted back then by our teachers and mentors (and now many of these people are teachers themselves). Some of these people were even converts to the Catholic faith, and I see that they now label themselves as atheists.

Just trying to keep your children sheltered from other peoples opinions which you (and I this case, I also) disagree with wont neccissarily help. What about when they do go to collage. No Mommy or Daddy to shelter them there. Home schooling may be better, I could not say because I did go to public school. But because I went to public school I heard and saw lots of bad things. I remember the president of the "Gay and stright alliance" comming up to my group of friends and me, asking us to come to their first meeting and that same person telling me in class all the time that there is nothing at all wrong with a man being with another man, and a woman being with another woman. Just because I was shown and told these things, I did not mean I later came to accept them.

I do not remember any teachers touching the subject, except one who when asked what he thought about gay people, said "I dont care what they do." If a public school teacher started telling my Kid that he is wrong for believing marriage can only be between a man and a woman, or that eating meat is wrong or some other liberal tree hugger hippie propeganda(and I do somewhat say that as a term of endearment ), I would respectfully ask that teacher to let me worry about educating my child on such matters.

Worry more about your child getting involved with criminal activity or drugs in public school.

[Gena]

Originally Posted by heart4home

However regarding hard economic times, if my husband and I are both living and able and if we should suddenly find ourselves in need of additional income then we would go to working opposite hours before making the choice to send them to public school. I've been a SAHM for a long time, but in the beginning, that is exactly what we chose to do to avoid daycare.

As a parent I believe that I will often be called to make sacrifices for the sake of our children and while giving up my dream career for a less satisfying job felt a bit like one in the beginning it allowed me to be able to fulfill my duties in caring for and educating our children so I willingly did so. I take the command in scripture to teach them diligently very seriously.

My husband and I sacrificed a lot so that I could be a SAHM during our son's toddler-hood and preschool years. (God has blessed us with only the one child and the fact that he survived pregnancy is a miracle.) Those were years of great difficulty for us, as we were going through much medical testing, trying to understand his diagnoses, and setting up various therapies.

Unfortunately, we came to the point where I had to return to work. I'm not doing my "dream career"; I'm providing for my child's needs, including paying for his medical care. I am lucky to work for a small company that gives me flexible hours to attend his many doctor's appointments and school meetings.

It's great that some parents are able to work opposite shifts so they can split childcare responsibilities. This isn't an option for everyone.

I take the commandment to teach my child diligently very seriously too. I don't rely on the public school to teach my child everything. It would be impossible to. I have a child who needs to be explicitly taught everything - he does not "pick up" things by inference or imitation like typical children do. We are constantly teaching him: academics, language, communication, social skills, behavior, self-regulation, motor skills, self-care, etc.

[heart4home]

Originally Posted by Gena

My husband and I sacrificed a lot so that I could be a SAHM during our son's toddler-hood and preschool years. (God has blessed us with only the one child and the fact that he survived pregnancy is a miracle.) Those were years of great difficulty for us, as we were going through much medical testing, trying to understand his diagnoses, and setting up various therapies.

Unfortunately, we came to the point where I had to return to work. I'm not doing my "dream career"; I'm providing for my child's needs, including paying for his medical care. I am lucky to work for a small company that gives me flexible hours to attend his many doctor's appointments and school meetings.

It's great that some parents are able to work opposite shifts so they can split childcare responsibilities. This isn't an option for everyone.

I take the commandment to teach my child diligently very seriously too. I don't rely on the public school to teach my child everything. It would be impossible to. I have a child who needs to be explicitly taught everything - he does not "pick up" things by inference or imitation like typical children do. We are constantly teaching him: academics, language, communication, social skills, behavior, self-regulation, motor skills, self-care, etc.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply that you are not making sacrifices or doing the best you can for your child. Your obviously a devoted mom, doing the best you can for your child. I think though that your type of situation is an exception and not the norm for most who utilize public schools. It's a personal choice no doubt, and like every topic we all bring our personal experiences and lives to the discussion and I'm sorry if I did not respect that.

God Bless.

[Mickey]

We do homeschool.

[heart4home]

Originally Posted by LaughingBoy1503

Just trying to keep your children sheltered from other peoples opinions which you (and I this case, I also) disagree with wont neccissarily help. What about when they do go to collage. No Mommy or Daddy to shelter them there. Home schooling may be better, I could not say because I did go to public school. But because I went to public school I heard and saw lots of bad things. I remember the president of the "Gay and stright alliance" comming up to my group of friends and me, asking us to come to their first meeting and that same person telling me in class all the time that there is nothing at all wrong with a man being with another man, and a woman being with another woman. Just because I was shown and told these things, I did not mean I later came to accept them.

I do not remember any teachers touching the subject, except one who when asked what he thought about gay people, said "I dont care what they do." If a public school teacher started telling my Kid that he is wrong for believing marriage can only be between a man and a woman, or that eating meat is wrong or some other liberal tree hugger hippie propeganda(and I do somewhat say that as a term of endearment ), I would respectfully ask that teacher to let me worry about educating my child on such matters.

Worry more about your child getting involved with criminal activity or drugs in public school.

No there will not be a mommy or daddy to shelter them at college. However, comparing sending a 5 or 10 year old or even a 15 year old out into the world to learn from peers who don't have a clue and to learn from a public school system with a definite liberal agenda while their conscience is still being formed to that of sending off an older college age student who has already been well educated on such manners from a Catholic standpoint is not a very effective argument to be pro-public school.

Good luck telling any public school teacher what they can teach your children. The public school system and what they are teaching is changing at lightning speed. What children were taught 5-10 years ago is different than what is being taught now. Many States have MANDATORY inclusion of same sex couples education and teach that they are just another type of family from the time children enter Kindy. It will only continue to get more involved from there. Many parent's aren't involved in everything that is going on at school day to day, and are usually unaware that during story time their Kindy aged children are being read books like "Heather has Two Mommies" or that their older children are being taught from a Mandatory Curriculum that will promote homosexuality and masturbation in some places.

I think it's safe to say that this will only grow more and more prevalent and that it will be mixed into various subjects in subtle ways.

I want to teach my children from the Catholic perspective at an appropriate age about such things. That doesn't mean I'm over-sheltering them, it means I'm sheltering them enough to grow up in a secure environment, where they have time to develop a sense of normal and right before facing the issues that they will no doubt deal with in the world.

[Megan7]

Originally Posted by Mickey

We do homeschool.

[LaughingBoy1503]

Originally Posted by heart4home

No there will not be a mommy or daddy to shelter them at college. However, comparing sending a 5 or 10 year old or even a 15 year old out into the world to learn from peers who don't have a clue and to learn from a public school system with a definite liberal agenda while their conscience is still being formed to that of sending off an older college age student who has already been well educated on such manners from a Catholic standpoint is not a very effective argument to be pro-public school.

Good luck telling any public school teacher what they can teach your children. The public school system and what they are teaching is changing at lightning speed. What children were taught 5-10 years ago is different than what is being taught now. Many States have MANDATORY inclusion of same sex couples education and teach that they are just another type of family from the time children enter Kindy. It will only continue to get more involved from there. Many parent's aren't involved in everything that is going on at school day to day, and are usually unaware that during story time their Kindy aged children are being read books like "Heather has Two Mommies" or that their older children are being taught from a Mandatory Curriculum that will promote homosexuality and masturbation in some places.

I think it's safe to say that this will only grow more and more prevalent and that it will be mixed into various subjects in subtle ways.

I want to teach my children from the Catholic perspective at an appropriate age about such things. That doesn't mean I'm over-sheltering them, it means I'm sheltering them enough to grow up in a secure environment, where they have time to develop a sense of normal and right before facing the issues that they will no doubt deal with in the world.

Im not pro or anti public school. I understand where you are comming from. I want to raise my children with a good Catholic morals. I dont have children now so I do not know what is the difference between what schools are like 10 years ago (when I was in school) and now. However I remember being taught evolution in school and it making sense. I also remember my telling my Mother that what our teacher is telling us conflicts with Christianity. I remember my Mother telling me to study and do not make a big deal about it. Just know that it is not completly right. Basicly she told me to play dumb.

And young college kids are still impressionable. Just because a person turns 18, it does not make them a adult, with a adult mind. My point was that parents can influence their children, but at the end, they will make their own decisions on what to believe regardless. There is no guarentee that sheltering your children from being influenced by public school teachers and their peers will keep them from falling into the beliefs that you do not want them to fall into. When they finally do get some freedom and are able to decide for themselfs what they think is right or not, they might go wild. Dont say you would not let it happen, because it can.

I remember a commedian telling a joke.... "I went to Catholic school my whole life. People often ask me, why am I not Catholic then? I tell them.... DIDDNT YOU JUST HEAR ME? I TOLD YOU... BECAUSE I WENT TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL MY WHOLE LIFE."

But of course I could be wrong. I frequently am. But then again I was raised by my Grandparents and their generation makes mine, and the younger one look like punks. I guess I am just Old-School in that way though. Just my opinion.

[PaulinVA]

Matthew 5:14-16
You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.

There are good public schools and good people in them that deserve to see and interact with faithful Catholics. As St Francis said, "Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words".

If you want to turn the tide of the culture wars, you need to actually be on the front lines fighting.

[heart4home]

Originally Posted by PaulinVA

Matthew 5:14-16
You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.

There are good public schools and good people in them that deserve to see and interact with faithful Catholics. As St Francis said, "Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words".

If you want to turn the tide of the culture wars, you need to actually be on the front lines fighting.

Do you really think that was written for children? Do you think Jesus would expect our innocent children to fight the cultural wars? No, we do not send our children out to war.

We nourish them with the word of God and the Sacraments and we help them bloom and grow into strong healthy adults. Then when they have a solid foundation and full understanding of who they are in Christ, they can go out to be the light in the world on their own, but until that time it should be under our guidances. As adults we are to be the light in our children's world.

Yes, children survive public school, some even with their faith intact, but many don't. If on judgement day you can stand before God and tell Him that you felt it was right to send your innocent children off to fight the cultural war while they were still "mere infants feeding on milk", so they could be the light of the world, and ignored HIs commands to teach them diligently day in and out then feel free.

As for me I take the warning given to us by Christ very seriously.

"But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." Matthew 18:6

[PaulinVA]

Originally Posted by heart4home

Yes, children survive public school, some even with their faith intact, but many don't. If on judgement day you can stand before God and tell Him that you felt it was right to send your innocent children off to fight the cultural war while they were still "mere infants feeding on milk", so they could be the light of the world, and ignored HIs commands to teach them diligently day in and out then feel free.

Your assertion that a Catholic family can not live in the world and be an example, a witness, to those who need to know Christ is wrong.

I plan on leading my family to heaven, and taking as many people with us as we can.

[heart4home]

Originally Posted by PaulinVA

Your assertion that a Catholic family can not live in the world and be an example, a witness, to those who need to know Christ is wrong.

I plan on leading my family to heaven, and taking as many people with us as we can.

Did I say a Catholic family can not live in the world? No, I don't think I said that at all.

Actually, I think a Catholic family should be involved in the world....together!!!

What I don't believe is that it is wise for Catholic/Christian children to be out in the world alone, trying to live our their under developed faith, in a public school while the teacher's educate them all day, void of the word and wisdom of God. Add to that the exclusionary "clubs"/ bullying that start in first grade these days, the same sex couple acceptance that is now introduced in many school systems as Mandatory in Kindy, the teaching that masturbating is healthy, that contraception is necessary, and that abortion is sometimes the best choice, no thank you, not for my children.

The president of this country, just announced that he supports gay marriage. Do you not believe that the schools he oversees will do the same? Do you really believe that's where God would want your children spending an enormous part of their waking hours each and every day, even if it's at the expense of being indoctrinated with teachings that go against Him and His laws and teachings? You may have the upper hand while children are young, but believe me, by middle school, peers and teachers will have just as much if not more of an influence on developing what your child believes and holds to be true.



Oh and I had to laugh how you accuse me of something, by taking my post and only quoting one part, totally ignoring the part where I said that we should be doing exactly what you accused me of not doing......

Notice how I said...
We nourish them with the word of God and the Sacraments and we help them bloom and grow into strong healthy adults. Then when they have a solid foundation and full understanding of who they are in Christ, they can go out to be the light in the world on their own, but until that time it should be under our guidances. As adults we are to be the light in our children's world

[mini_me640]

Originally Posted by heart4home

Do you really think that was written for children? Do you think Jesus would expect our innocent children to fight the cultural wars? No, we do not send our children out to war.



Yes, children survive public school, some even with their faith intact, but many don't. If on judgement day you can stand before God and tell Him that you felt it was right to send your innocent children off to fight the cultural war while they were still "mere infants feeding on milk", so they could be the light of the world, and ignored HIs commands to teach them diligently day in and out then feel free.

As for me I take the warning given to us by Christ very seriously.

"But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." Matthew 18:6

Kids that are homeschooled or Catholic school lose faith as well. Also it is certainly possible to teach children the faith diligently at home regardless of their schooling situation.

[heart4home]

Originally Posted by mini_me640

Kids that are homeschooled or Catholic school lose faith as well. Also it is certainly possible to teach children the faith diligently at home regardless of their schooling situation.

Yes, it is possible that kids can come out of school with their faith intact and yes homeschooled / Catholic schooled kids do lose their faith as well. But when I stand before God, I want to be able to say I did everything possible to help them form their faith into a strong and deep faith without the secular influence chipping a way at it, while it was still being formed.

My job is to nurture and protect my children from the evil of this world until they are old enough to do it on their own. If you think that the immoral yet mandated teachings of public school are not evil, then there is really nothing to discuss. If you think they are, but that are children have to be exposed to them at 5, 6, 7, 8 well then we just disagree.