Debate between Husband and Wife

[Semper Zelare]

Originally Posted by Crescentinus

Using argumentum ad populum doesn't make evil as good.

This.

What your wife is doing is pointing to bad behavior to justify bad behavior.

What does your wife feel about pornography? What about using the Lord's name in vein? What about lying?

It doesn't matter how many people sin, there is never a threshold of people sinning that stops the behavior from being evil. St. Athanaisus: "If I awoke tomorrow to discover that the whole world was Arian, then it would be Athanasius against the world".

[sergius89]

Thanks for all the good input. Let me change the facts and circumstances.

My wife has a heart condition that makes carrying a child extremely dangerous to the point all the doctors consulted advised us not to get pregnant. My wife is on birth control to regulate her cycle and maintain her blood pressure. We have not been sexually active. For further information we do have an adopted son. Given these facts and circumstances, should we as a married couple not engage in sexual activity, even though we love each other deeply and it is an act of love between two people.

Once again, thanks for all the input.

[1ke]

Originally Posted by sergius89

Thanks for all the good input. Let me change the facts and circumstances.

The immorality of contraception is not based on circumstances. They are not relevant, actually.

Originally Posted by sergius89

My wife has a heart condition that makes carrying a child extremely dangerous to the point all the doctors consulted advised us not to get pregnant.

You should follow your doctor's advice to avoid pregnancy. That does not mean you can contracept.

Originally Posted by sergius89

My wife is on birth control to regulate her cycle and maintain her blood pressure.

I'm sorry. The pill neither "regulates" one's cycle nor blood pressure. Quite the opposite. The Pill is contraindicated for those with high blood pressure or pretty much anything cardiovascular in nature. Holy cow that is danerous!!!!

Originally Posted by sergius89

Given these facts and circumstances, should we as a married couple not engage in sexual activity, even though we love each other deeply and it is an act of love between two people.

I am sure that you love each other, and your son, very much.

I suggest that you get a serious second opinion on this birth control pill thing, because it is NOT for blood pressure. I don't know if your wife was grasping at straws or what. I suggest you get evaluated by doctors affiliated with the Pope Paul VI Institute, www.popepaulvi.com. Something sounds really off.

While total abstinence is one choice, you can also learn and use one of the methods of natural family planning. You can use these conservatively and have some times of intimacy during the infertile time of the cycle. There are several women who post on here who also have life threatening reasons to avoid pregnancy and who use NFP to do so, and have for over a decade.

If your wife is legitimately taking hormones (even in the form of birth control pills) for serious NON conraceptive medical reasons, and the need to take them is proportionate to their potential side effects, then that would fall under the principle of double effect. I suggest you talk to your priest about this. "Regulating" the cycle is not a proportionate reason in most cases, the pill doesn't actually regulate anything.

[TheRealJuliane]

Originally Posted by sergius89

Thanks for all the good input. Let me change the facts and circumstances.

My wife has a heart condition that makes carrying a child extremely dangerous to the point all the doctors consulted advised us not to get pregnant. My wife is on birth control to regulate her cycle and maintain her blood pressure. We have not been sexually active. For further information we do have an adopted son. Given these facts and circumstances, should we as a married couple not engage in sexual activity, even though we love each other deeply and it is an act of love between two people.

Once again, thanks for all the input.

Birth control pills do not maintain blood pressure. Are you making up hypotheticals, or what?

[sergius89]

The way my wife's doctor explained it to me, the use of birth control is to regulate the cycle and to prevent my wife from having longer than normal periods as the blood loss can be problematic. My wife pressure is usually 90/65. The doctor does not want it any lower.

Please lets focus on the religious issues.

[LucyLight]

Originally Posted by 1ke

The immorality of contraception is not based on circumstances. They are not relevant, actually.



You should follow your doctor's advice to avoid pregnancy. That does not mean you can contracept.



I'm sorry. The pill neither "regulates" one's cycle nor blood pressure. Quite the opposite. The Pill is contraindicated for those with high blood pressure or pretty much anything cardiovascular in nature. Holy cow that is danerous!!!!



I am sure that you love each other, and your son, very much.

I suggest that you get a serious second opinion on this birth control pill thing, because it is NOT for blood pressure. I don't know if your wife was grasping at straws or what. I suggest you get evaluated by doctors affiliated with the Pope Paul VI Institute, www.popepaulvi.com. Something sounds really off.

While total abstinence is one choice, you can also learn and use one of the methods of natural family planning. You can use these conservatively and have some times of intimacy during the infertile time of the cycle. There are several women who post on here who also have life threatening reasons to avoid pregnancy and who use NFP to do so, and have for over a decade.

If your wife is legitimately taking hormones (even in the form of birth control pills) for serious NON conraceptive medical reasons, and the need to take them is proportionate to their potential side effects, then that would fall under the principle of double effect. I suggest you talk to your priest about this. "Regulating" the cycle is not a proportionate reason in most cases, the pill doesn't actually regulate anything.

While unusual, if his wife has high blood pressure do to postpartum preeclampsia than the pill could help lower that. During the first part of a pregnancy the woman's blood pressure drops I think this is why the pill works in that way. Blood pressure can be affected by hormones.

You need to contact a Catholic OBGYN that teaches NFP. I would not go to a teaching couple and a priest can only help you with the moral teachings. To find one I think the website is onemoresoul.com. NFP works but you need to make sure that you are practicing the safest form of it. Which, as a slight bonus, is the easiest method to follow.

If you feel comfortable saying what major city you live by posters might also help direct you to a good doctor.

[LucyLight]

Wait, was this just a hypothetical? If so than I would say that NFP would allow you to still have relations with your wife. There are methods that make it almost impossible to get pregnant.