Anyone struggle with selfishness?

PatsWife922 · #1 May 14, '12, 2:16 pm

I hate even admitting this to others, let alone myself! But I feel like I battle a lot with being a selfish Mommy. I become so preoccupied with myself, what I would rather be doing then to be attentive to what my daughter needs or wants from me. After a long day at work - I would so much rather unwind and watch something on TV, then to get on the ground and play with my daughter

Have anyone else struggled with their own selfishness when becoming a parent?

LegoGE1947 · #2 May 14, '12, 3:39 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by PatsWife922

I hate even admitting this to others, let alone myself! But I feel like I battle a lot with being a selfish Mommy. I become so preoccupied with myself, what I would rather be doing then to be attentive to what my daughter needs or wants from me. After a long day at work - I would so much rather unwind and watch something on TV, then to get on the ground and play with my daughter

Have anyone else struggled with their own selfishness when becoming a parent?

I do. Not only that I struggle with selfishness in most every area of life.

I struggle with it with my grand children as well. In my case it is being a selfish Dad and grand father.

**Trishie** · #3 May 14, '12, 3:43 pm

Might a better question be, is there anyone here who doesn't battle selfishness!!!
The love is in kindly making that effort, which you do, despite the fact that you are tired and just want peace and rest.

josephback · #4 May 14, '12, 3:48 pm

I'm not a parent, but otherwise yes.

mab23 · #5 May 14, '12, 4:03 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by PatsWife922

I hate even admitting this to others, let alone myself! But I feel like I battle a lot with being a selfish Mommy. I become so preoccupied with myself, what I would rather be doing then to be attentive to what my daughter needs or wants from me. After a long day at work - I would so much rather unwind and watch something on TV, then to get on the ground and play with my daughter

Have anyone else struggled with their own selfishness when becoming a parent?

Yes I struggle with this too!

but im working on it!

**po18guy** · #6 May 14, '12, 4:21 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trishie

Might a better question be, is there anyone here who doesn't battle selfishness!!!
The love is in kindly making that effort, which you do, despite the fact that you are tired and just want peace and rest.

Doggone it! You always beat me to the punch, my sister from another mister

gardenswithkids · #7 May 14, '12, 4:32 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trishie

Might a better question be, is there anyone here who doesn't battle selfishness!!! ...

I agree!!!

Yes, I struggle with selfishness. Sometimes I don't, but that's usually the time when I just act selfish.

**Ridgerunner** · #8 May 14, '12, 4:59 pm

I only struggle with selfishness all day, every day.

Sometimes I win, though. Sometimes I win because (hard to explain) I just "change my mind" and throw myself into something that isn't selfish. Sometimes I can't get into the spirit of it and offer it up, doing the unselfish thing deliberately even though I don't want to.

I never had just too much trouble getting involved in childrens' activities, but when I did, I would look at the child for awhile ("stare" might be a better descriptor) and think of what I would have felt in just such a moment when I was a kid if a parent had gotten involved in the activity, whatever it was. That truly can get a fellow off his duff.

**po18guy** · #9 May 14, '12, 5:11 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by gardenswithkids

I agree!!!

Yes, I struggle with selfishness. Sometimes I don't, but that's usually the time when I just act selfish.

Selfishness is the very definition of our fallen state.

Genesis 3:4-5

And the serpent said to the woman: No, YOU shall not die the death. For God doth know that in what day soever YOU shall eat thereof, YOUR eyes shall be opened: and YOU shall be as GODS, knowing good and evil.

AthenaC · #10 May 14, '12, 5:17 pm

If you will indulge me while I put on my armchair M.D. - you may have an iron deficiency.

After I had my oldest, I noticed that I just had no energy. I didn't want to sleep; all I wanted to do was sit and watch TV and veg out. Until I resumed taking the iron pills I had been prescribed during pregnancy. Suddenly I had a much greater inner reservoir of energy for my daughter.

I may be completely off base; just a thought about what worked for me since the way you describe yourself reminded me of the way I used to feel.

PatsWife922 · #11 May 15, '12, 7:28 am

Thanks everyone for your responses! I think it helped to hear I am not the only one - and just a good reminder that is one of the biggest hurdles for all of us.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AthenaC

If you will indulge me while I put on my armchair M.D. - you may have an iron deficiency.

I think you may be right! I was on iron supplements when I was pg - and stopped taking them after I had Jocelyn....

Anemone1 · #12 May 15, '12, 3:37 pm

Ugh. today especially.... my 8 month old is sick...and uber fussy.... and it's all I can do to keep my sanity this last hour before my hubby gets home....

Your post made me look through my drawer to find this short prayer that is to be said when we are able to offer something up-- I know I needed it today..

O Jesus, it is for your Love, for the conversion of sinners and in reparation for sins commited against the Immaculate heart of Mary.

johnnyjones · #13 May 15, '12, 3:52 pm

When I left my last job I was initially hurt when I heard (from a close friend who works there) that some people who I thought liked me said, "he was all about himself." Yes, I am about myself when it comes to survival, and so are those same people who made the statements.

When one applies "all about him/her self" it is supposed to be harmful. We could all do better in that area, some more than others. I know in my heart I have helped others and I'm sure many of you have who are hard on yourself. Selfishness is a tough thing to weed out in this world. After all, we're stuck with ourselves and it is often times difficult to get outside ourselves. We have needs, but we just must remember that others can be affected by our actions. Basically, balance. We are not perfect though.