Why do the " Bad Boys" get so many women?

[Nec5]

Originally Posted by chevalier

We aren't summarising or intuiting anything here, it's just a simple modus tollendo tollens.

Violation of male behavior rule. Virtually no one knows what that last 3-word term means, nor are we likely to look it up. Christ could have spoken in jargon, but he used the language of the common man. Men are to speak plainly and carry a big stick. As a self styled chevalier (French chivalric knight), you know this. You will be reported to the man law committee for this violation. Thank you for your observance.

This thread is one of the few honest threads going where people actually get to say what they truly think. The reason many women go for the "bad boy" is the same as it's always been, but we live in a society that has rejected those old school truths. There's nothing "deficient" in women. At least, there's nothing more "deficient" in women than in men. There's just different deficiencies, which explains why Paul went on and on about the husband ruling the household but also stated that all are equal in the eyes of God.

[Norseman82]

On a humorous note, something that appeared in "The Argyle Sweater" in today's comics:

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/tas/2012/tas120528.gif

[Myluv4God]

I was attracted many years ago, when I was young to the bad boys. But realized the bad boys are arrogant and full of themselves. They don't treat you with respect and don't care much about your feelings. I had to date one to realize that, which is a sad. I believe with some of the other posts, that you are looking at the wrong women, notice the quiet, and sweet ones. And who knows, sparks might fly...

[GraceDK]

Originally Posted by EasterJoy

Maybe you would if a guy could say he doesn't want to date women who have the opposite body type without having someone jump down his throat about it.

I really don't understand why a guy who said he wanted to date women with a certain body type had people jump all over him about it..

The guy didn't just say he thought something was beautiful.. As I recall he said: I dont wanna be with someone who looks like a man.

That was a stupid, uncharitable and immature thing to say, especially as it turned out what he referred to was all the ladies who dont have as big breasts as he prefers.
Its the same as if a woman would say: I dont want a man who looks like a woman, by that meaning someone who had a smaller than average private part, and was less muscular than many of his peers.

A girl who said something like that public would be an airhead. So also, the previous poster comes across. Deborah said she has a flat chest compared to some women (there is no reason to believe she is not within the NORMAL helthy range) and she was offended.
Frankly I also felt offended by the nonsense of that poster.

In order to get a lady a man must first become a gentleman. Is that not what this thread is all about really.

One of the ways to know a guy is not mature but selfish and boyish is that he will talk about female private parts publicly and represent his superficiality as though its normal and good for a Christian man. We must hope his future wife never has an accident or gets breast cancer, for then the reason for his attraction might disappear.

To reduce the attractiveness of a lady to her breast size is what unchaste boys do, not what adult Christian men do.

[EasterJoy]

Originally Posted by GraceDK

The guy didn't just say he thought something was beautiful.. As I recall he said: I dont wanna be with someone who looks like a man.

That was a stupid, uncharitable and immature thing to say, especially as it turned out what he referred to was all the ladies who dont have as big breasts as he prefers.
Its the same as if a woman would say: I dont want a man who looks like a woman, by that meaning someone who had a smaller than average private part, and was less muscular than many of his peers.

A girl who said something like that public would be an airhead. So also, the previous poster comes across. Deborah said she has a flat chest compared to some women (there is no reason to believe she is not within the NORMAL helthy range) and she was offended.
Frankly I also felt offended by the nonsense of that poster.

In order to get a lady a man must first become a gentleman. Is that not what this thread is all about really.

One of the ways to know a guy is not mature but selfish and boyish is that he will talk about female private parts publicly and represent his superficiality as though its normal and good for a Christian man. We must hope his future wife never has an accident or gets breast cancer, for then the reason for his attraction might disappear.

To reduce the attractiveness of a lady to her breast size is what unchaste boys do, not what adult Christian men do.

No, unfortunately, a man does not have to be a gentleman in order to get a lady. That mystery is what this thread is all about. There are classy women all over the place who inexplicably wind up with cads, and I think we all know it.

I have no problem with jumping on someone who says what he finds desirable in the way that fellow did. The issue I have is that people argued about what he finds attractive, rather than the insensitive way in which he chose to post about it, as if there is something wrong with a man who doesn't feel the same attraction to every nice woman he meets. That is nonsense. Who hasn't met a very nice person whose looks they aren't attracted to, or who they aren't attracted to for reasons they can only try to articulate?

If you think that becoming Christian means that you won't have a natural response to some members of the opposite sex who fall into some type or other over others, you are much mistaken. That is something a person can describe badly or well, but it isn't always something that a person decides. Rather, if you take the plain meaning of the Epistles, a Christian sees all other people as brothers and sisters, not as prospective mates, because married people have distractions and trials in this life that St. Paul would spare them, but if two people fall for each other and are on fire, well, then that's a sign that marriage is probably a good idea, for some have gifts different than St. Paul. (1 Cor. 7)

That is initial attraction. It is changeable, and once it is replaced by a deeper relationship, changes in looks that are beyond one's control usually do become irrelevant when it comes to feelings toward a partner. Maybe you wouldn't have fallen in love with the fellow you're married to now when you were both teens, but the looks of the one you love have a way of becoming the looks you love, even when the looks change. If you don't think he's neglecting himself and by extension neglecting you, a mature person takes those changes as a matter of course. Still, being attracted to some people instead of others based on physical type does not mean a person is "reducing" them to anything. It means the person being attracted can identify what makes their heart beat faster. Should they just shut up and pretend that physical response never happens? I suppose they could, but it is wrong to imply that a man isn't Christian if he recognizes that he has feelings for women of one physical type to the exclusion of others. It's wrong if he thinks those feelings add or subtract anything from the woman's actual value as a person, but it isn't wrong to describe what elicits romantic feelings and what doesn't.

If someone who looks like you really hurt the fellow in question, though, then I would predict that when he sees someone who looks like the two of you, he'll either recoil, be attracted, or be a confusing mixture of both. I am not surprised that he's not as sensitive as he ought to be when he's talking about her, because people give themselves that self-centered indulgence when they've been hurt. The insensitive way in which he expresses his sentiments is something else again, but that he has those feelings is not something to beat him up about.

[kelvinf]

I think Chev made the poster in question to reveal his preferences. To the best of my knowledge, he was reluctant to do so because he thought some on CAF are very sensitive. But I think Chev, convinced him to.

People, there is no reason for anyone to get offended because of one poster's preference. Seriously? Who should care? We guys hate and like all kinds of things about women. Honestly, I don't think any woman should give a damn about what one guy likes or dislikes. It doesn't change anything.

For me, I see this thread as just an opportunity for both sexes to learn about the other. For instance, experience boys talk.

There are guys who like big, small whatever....Again, that's just the person's problem/choice. I will never be offended if a woman says that she likes only guys with 6 pack or whatever it's called. That's the woman's choice and I would simply respect it.

And being a Catholic does not mean that we are perfect. I believe lust is something that affects everyone.

[Paddy1989]

Regarding the topic of this thread about why do "bad boy's" get so many women, that would be like saying why do promiscuous women get so many men. Trust me the women these lad's end up with wouldn't be any decent lad's type anyway. Good women with a head screwed on will know what they want and treating them like dirt will get you nothing but a slap. Those here who get the most women are those who chat them up the most, being assertive usually is key and that's it really.

[chevalier]

Originally Posted by kelvinf

I think Chev made the poster in question to reveal his preferences. To the best of my knowledge, he was reluctant to do so because he thought some on CAF are very sensitive. But I think Chev, convinced him to.

That's true, he wouldn't have said anything without my encouragement. So it's now up to me to ask the other posters to cut him some slack. I mean how you talk to him, not what you tell him. He's been getting some rough handling I don't really enjoy seeing.

There are guys who like big, small whatever....Again, that's just the person's problem/choice. I will never be offended if a woman says that she likes only guys with 6 pack or whatever it's called. That's the woman's choice and I would simply respect it.

Same. Although the way we talk about it does matter too. Things can be said in a way that doesn't cause so much pain or offence.

[Debora123]

Originally Posted by kelvinf

I think Chev made the poster in question to reveal his preferences. To the best of my knowledge, he was reluctant to do so because he thought some on CAF are very sensitive. But I think Chev, convinced him to.

People, there is no reason for anyone to get offended because of one poster's preference. Seriously? Who should care? We guys hate and like all kinds of things about women. Honestly, I don't think any woman should give a damn about what one guy likes or dislikes. It doesn't change anything.

For me, I see this thread as just an opportunity for both sexes to learn about the other. For instance, experience boys talk.

There are guys who like big, small whatever....Again, that's just the person's problem/choice. I will never be offended if a woman says that she likes only guys with 6 pack or whatever it's called. That's the woman's choice and I would simply respect it.

And being a Catholic does not mean that we are perfect. I believe lust is something that affects everyone.

Oh please. I'm not offended because he likes big breasts.

I thought some of the things he said ABOUT small breasted women were offensive. Calling women with small breasts "flat chested" and going on and on about how we (small chested women) look like boys and trannies. That is offensive and inappropriate.

Likewise, I can say I'm not attracted to overweight men. And that's perfectly fine. However, it is another thing entirely if I start referring to overweight men as "fatties" (an offensive term) and if I start going on about how they look like pigs. THAT would be offensive and very inappropriate.

[EasterJoy]

Originally Posted by chevalier

...Things can be said in a way that doesn't cause so much pain or offence...

My issue with you was writing to the guy as if these preferences are supposed to be logical. My personal suspicion is that people have the preferences, are asked to explain what is essentially unexplainable, don't feel comfortable with that, and so they make stuff up. Of course it isn't logical. Maybe the story trying to make sense of it all came from the logical regions of the brain, but none of the rest did.

Rest assured, these things are thrown out with the same amount of logic (or less) than they come in with. One spectacularly "right" person comes along, and the whole mental check-list goes out the window, along with all the reasons one used to suppose one had for thinking that way.

It's right up there with the "I'm never going to get married because..." fallacy. I've spent a lot on wedding gifts for people who've said that!!

[Crescentinus]

Originally Posted by Debora123

Oh please. I'm not offended because he likes big breasts.

I thought some of the things he said ABOUT small breasted women were offensive. Calling women with small breasts "flat chested" and going on and on about how we (small chested women) look like boys and trannies. That is offensive and inappropriate.

Likewise, I can say I'm not attracted to overweight men. And that's perfectly fine. However, it is another thing entirely if I start referring to overweight men as "fatties" (an offensive term) and if I start going on about how they look like pigs. THAT would be offensive and very inappropriate.

You are putting things way out of context, again. You have obviously ignored on what I said before you try to leave this thread a few hours ago.

Look, the reason why I discussed that is because it is a part of the discussion. I do not want to date women who have oversized breasts either, especially those who did that from cosmetic surgery. Let's just say that cosmetic surgery turns me off.

On what I said that brought offense to you. Let me say a few things about that. First, I did not mean to offend anyone here and I apologize for bringing offense. Second, there are people in real life that either force me to date women with small breasts as some fetish (And I want to punch those perverted idiots!) or that if I date one, I'm basically some pedophile or a hypocrite. Sadly, people like that exist. Trying to ignore then is like trying to ignore a pink elephant in the room. My language could have been better, and I apologize for that.
Yes Debora, you ignored this:

Originally Posted by Crescentinus

Please understand that as far as physical attraction is concerned, I am taking this from the artistic perspective. And yes, I believe in proportions as far as aesthetics are concerned. As a whole in regards to relationships, that is only a small part.

[Crescentinus]

Originally Posted by kelvinf

I think Chev made the poster in question to reveal his preferences. To the best of my knowledge, he was reluctant to do so because he thought some on CAF are very sensitive. But I think Chev, convinced him to.

People, there is no reason for anyone to get offended because of one poster's preference. Seriously? Who should care? We guys hate and like all kinds of things about women. Honestly, I don't think any woman should give a damn about what one guy likes or dislikes. It doesn't change anything.

For me, I see this thread as just an opportunity for both sexes to learn about the other. For instance, experience boys talk.

There are guys who like big, small whatever....Again, that's just the person's problem/choice. I will never be offended if a woman says that she likes only guys with 6 pack or whatever it's called. That's the woman's choice and I would simply respect it.

And being a Catholic does not mean that we are perfect. I believe lust is something that affects everyone.

I will tell you and everyone else (especially Debora) why I have such preferences.
Please understand that as far as physical attraction is concerned, I am taking this from the artistic perspective since I am an artist. And yes, I believe in proportions as far as aesthetics are concerned. As a whole in regards to relationships, that is only a small part. My point is, my physical preferences are minor. The reason why I discussed it here is because I am planning to discuss my preferences further. Once I have covered the minor preferences (such as height, age and figure), I will go to the majors which Debora and I have discussed partly before.

Now, are my physical preferences affected by lust? No. I do not lust over anyone anymore. I remember being a porn addict a few years ago, but I have recovered from that rather well. Sadly, there are those who confuse aesthetic proportions with lust. To anyone who reads this, please do not confuse the two things. I will discuss the differences between the two later.