Lukewarm Family

Uriah_Betrayed · #1 May 16, '12, 7:07 pm

I'll get to the point, my parents are rather culturally catholic in the sense that both believe in God and that there are certain serious transgressions that'll send someone to Hell, but that as long as you believe in God and are a good person by society standards you need not worry. Obligations to attend every Sunday Mass are never held, I'm sure they'd be offended to hear that dying and having missed a Sunday Mass would send you to Hell.

Where I come in is I don't even want to bother getting into the mess that is trying to become faithful if I have full knowledge that my entire family is going to Hell. One is in a remarriage that the CC would consider adultery and the other is in a long standing stable relationship with a girlfriend.

Veronica97 · #2 May 16, '12, 7:58 pm

Are you willing to sacrifice YOUR salvation because your parents' salvation may be in jeopardy? My parents were baptized and raised Protestant, but they haven't attended church in years. God seems to be unimportant to them--I'm not even sure if they BELIEVE in God anymore. But that is ALL THE MORE REASON for me to be a faithful Catholic!! I pray regularly for my parents, including the Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet. If I don't pray for them, WHO WILL? It's possible that your parents could one day be granted an annulment, which would free them to remarry validly in the Church. It's also possible that your prayers may convert them, even if only in their last moments of life on this earth! We cannot judge another's heart--we leave that to God and we just continue to pray for others and to set a good example for them with our own lives. When we die we will be judged and sent to either heaven, hell, or purgatory. However, at the end of the world, there will be a second judgement, and then we will know how everything we did (or didn't do) affected others for both good and bad! At that time, we will see how our prayers and our examples helped others. Or, likewise, we will see how we FAILED to pray for others or set a good example and how that may have LOST souls. Don't put yourself in that position. Do what you know to be right,invite them to go to Mass with you, pray for them, LIVE RIGHT and put everything in God's hands.

Veronica97 · #3 May 16, '12, 8:09 pm

You are willing to put your own salvation in jeopardy because your parents' salvation may be in jeopardy? My parents were baptized and raised Protestant, but they no longer attend church of any kind and God seems to be unimportant to them. In fact, I'm not even sure if they BELIEVE in God! But that is ALL THE MORE REASON for me to be a faithful Catholic. I pray for my parents regularly, including the Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet. If I don't pray for them, WHO WILL? It is possible that your parents' marriage could be annulled and then they would be free to remarry validly. It is also possible that your prayers (and your example) may convert them! We can't judge another person's heart--only God can do that. But our prayers can help save others, even if only in their last moment of life on this earth. When we die, we are judged and sent to Heaven, Hell, or Purgatory. But there will be a second judgement at the end of time, where we will see how everything we did (or didn't do) affected others. We will see how our prayers and our example helped save souls, and likewise, we will see how others were LOST because we didn't pray for them or set a good example. Don't put yourself in that position! Pray for your parents, invite them to go to Mass with you, live a good life, and put everything into God's hands.

Trebor135 · #4 May 16, '12, 10:03 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uriah_Betrayed

I'll get to the point, my parents are rather culturally catholic in the sense that both believe in God and that there are certain serious transgressions that'll send someone to Hell, but that as long as you believe in God and are a good person by society standards you need not worry. Obligations to attend every Sunday Mass are never held, I'm sure they'd be offended to hear that dying and having missed a Sunday Mass would send you to Hell.

Where I come in is I don't even want to bother getting into the mess that is trying to become faithful if I have full knowledge that my entire family is going to Hell. One is in a remarriage that the CC would consider adultery and the other is in a long standing stable relationship with a girlfriend.

You might change their hearts, over time, by setting a good example.

I have lukewarm family, friends, and acquaintances: a reality which troubles me deeply. If anyone has helped someone in their life to attain zeal, your input and advice would be greatly appreciated.

kmuestwin · #5 May 16, '12, 10:34 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veronica97

You are willing to put your own salvation in jeopardy because your parents' salvation may be in jeopardy? My parents were baptized and raised Protestant, but they no longer attend church of any kind and God seems to be unimportant to them. In fact, I'm not even sure if they BELIEVE in God! But that is ALL THE MORE REASON for me to be a faithful Catholic. I pray for my parents regularly, including the Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet. If I don't pray for them, WHO WILL? It is possible that your parents' marriage could be annulled and then they would be free to remarry validly. It is also possible that your prayers (and your example) may convert them! We can't judge another person's heart--only God can do that. But our prayers can help save others, even if only in their last moment of life on this earth. When we die, we are judged and sent to Heaven, Hell, or Purgatory. But there will be a second judgement at the end of time, where we will see how everything we did (or didn't do) affected others. We will see how our prayers and our example helped save souls, and likewise, we will see how others were LOST because we didn't pray for them or set a good example. Don't put yourself in that position! Pray for your parents, invite them to go to Mass with you, live a good life, and put everything into God's hands.

Aside from the horrible choice of font color and text size, this poster is correct.

Keep praying for your family and going to mass. Fast for them and offer up corpral works of mercy for them. Love them even more and actively work to live a solid Catholic life. Be the example they need whether they know it or not.

Veronica97 · #6 May 16, '12, 11:02 pm

Sorry I posted twice. The first time I guess CAF was having technical difficulties and so I typed it all over again. Sorry for font color and style too

Is this better?

littlestsouls · #7 May 17, '12, 1:03 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uriah_Betrayed

I'll get to the point, my parents are rather culturally catholic in the sense that both believe in God and that there are certain serious transgressions that'll send someone to Hell, but that as long as you believe in God and are a good person by society standards you need not worry. Obligations to attend every Sunday Mass are never held, I'm sure they'd be offended to hear that dying and having missed a Sunday Mass would send you to Hell.

Where I come in is I don't even want to bother getting into the mess that is trying to become faithful if I have full knowledge that my entire family is going to Hell. One is in a remarriage that the CC would consider adultery and the other is in a long standing stable relationship with a girlfriend.

I sympathise with your situation, but don't become discouraged. We cannot judge the degree of others' guilt, and even if we could, God's greatest desire remains the same: to save us. Trust in HIS merits and pray for the conversion of your dear loved ones- there is no use in thinking that they will be lost; you simply don't know that and- I hate to say it- but to resign to such a defeatist outlook would only be to increase its possibility.

God desires their salvation more than you do. Don't forget that they are His family too. Never under-estimate the power of prayer, loving witness, and a good book. You might like to lend them a good Catholic book, such as "Your life is worth living' by Fulton Sheen, for example.

If you happen to pray for years and STILL "see" no change of heart in your loved ones, keep persevering because God grants GREAT graces to those who persevere in humble prayer (e.g. St. Monica). It is my belief that a relatively large number of souls are saved in their final hour because God chooses to apply the graces of other people's prayers at the moment it will prove most efficacious for sinners.

May God Bless you and your loved ones!

constantconvert · #8 May 17, '12, 5:34 am

First of all, in order for a sin to be mortal and send them to hell it has to be 1) a grave matter, 2) done with full knowledge (you know it is a grave matter) and 3) done with full consent (you do not care one whit about 1 & 2, you're going to do it anyway and thumb your nose at God while you do it). It does not sound like your parent meet those requirements.

Second, I understand because my parents don't even believe Jesus is God, and my dad is not even baptized!!! And they are in their eighties! no one wants their family to go to he'll. Pray for them. That is a separate issue from YOUR faithfulness to the church. God doesn't want ANY of you to go to hell.

TheRealJuliane · #9 May 17, '12, 5:42 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uriah_Betrayed

I'll get to the point, my parents are rather culturally catholic in the sense that both believe in God and that there are certain serious transgressions that'll send someone to Hell, but that as long as you believe in God and are a good person by society standards you need not worry. Obligations to attend every Sunday Mass are never held, I'm sure they'd be offended to hear that dying and having missed a Sunday Mass would send you to Hell.

Where I come in is I don't even want to bother getting into the mess that is trying to become faithful if I have full knowledge that my entire family is going to Hell. One is in a remarriage that the CC would consider adultery and the other is in a long standing stable relationship with a girlfriend.

They NEED you to be faithful and pray for them!! Who else will be praying on their behalf?? My husband is one of those people, who thinks "being a good person" should be good enough for God, in case there even is a God. Who else but me is praying for him? I put a green scapular under his side of the mattress and I pray to Mary every day, and other prayers during the day. I offer up intentions for him during Mass and with the rosary. Do the same for your family! It is the least you can do for them.

But no matter what they do or don't do, YOU are responsible to God, who has called you to the Truth of the Church. Hang out here with us when you get frustrated. I felt alone for so many years, didn't feel like I fit into the parish we attended b/c of my husband's refusal to participate. When I found this community, I was thrilled. Yeah, it's a virtual community, but I pray for the members here as if I knew them IRL. Because I feel like I do. It fills a need for me. I do need to get involved in parish life too, but that's coming along over time.

You can't just desert Christ because others have.

kmuestwin · #10 May 17, '12, 9:06 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veronica97

Sorry I posted twice. The first time I guess CAF was having technical difficulties and so I typed it all over again. Sorry for font color and style too

Is this better?

I'm just being difficult. Don't go out of your way to please me.

edithsteinrocks · #11 May 17, '12, 10:42 am

Dittoing all replies to the OP. Take care of your soul. Pray for those who don`t care about theirs. We all matter to God.

timotheos · #12 May 17, '12, 8:50 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uriah_Betrayed

I'll get to the point, my parents are rather culturally catholic in the sense that both believe in God and that there are certain serious transgressions that'll send someone to Hell, but that as long as you believe in God and are a good person by society standards you need not worry. Obligations to attend every Sunday Mass are never held, I'm sure they'd be offended to hear that dying and having missed a Sunday Mass would send you to Hell.

Where I come in is I don't even want to bother getting into the mess that is trying to become faithful if I have full knowledge that my entire family is going to Hell. One is in a remarriage that the CC would consider adultery and the other is in a long standing stable relationship with a girlfriend.

Hi Uriah,

From this and some of your previous posts, it is apparent that you love your family deeply. I'd say this: Pray, not for conversion that fits your time frame, but for conversion that fits God's plan and reflects your love for them. The power of repentance and mercy are stronger than anything. Even after a lifetime of sin, a truly repentant heart at the split second before death will be enough to save them. Pray not out of fear of losing them to an eternity in hell, but out of your love and desire for them to be in heaven. Cultivate this love. Trust that your prayers will be answered, because they will. Let God do the rest.

Tim

Uriah_Betrayed · #13 May 17, '12, 9:58 pm

Just wanted to say I read what you all said, I have nothing good to add. I thank everyone who posted, but to be honest I'm not the beacon of faith the rest of my family can observe, if anything I'm a black hole because while everyone else turned their faith into general aloofness to the divine mine just became anger and bitterness...

Trebor135 · #14 May 17, '12, 10:10 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uriah_Betrayed

Just wanted to say I read what you all said, I have nothing good to add. I thank everyone who posted, but to be honest I'm not the beacon of faith the rest of my family can observe, if anything I'm a black hole because while everyone else turned their faith into general aloofness to the divine mine just became anger and bitterness...

You might consider praying habitually before the tabernacle in a Catholic or Orthodox church and looking for a spiritual director--both things I plan to do.

Veronica97 · #15 May 17, '12, 10:12 pm

My best advice would be to take your feelings (of anger and bitterness) to Confession--it will help give you the Grace you need to carry on. Then give praying the Rosary a try...my guess is that your heart will begin to melt. God bless.