Should I shoot down Cupid? - Page 4

exoflare · #46 Jun 8, '12, 9:41 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crescentinus

It would have been easier had they told me to prepare instead of wait.

It's not up to them, it's up to you. Now go get 'em tiger!

austenbosten · #47 Jun 8, '12, 9:43 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by exoflare

Since you seem to really WANT to get married so badly, let me put your so-called conflict to rest once and for all. The people who tell you to "wait" are just flat-out wrong. I don't get what's so hard to understand about it.

Agreed, nobody got rich by sitting on their butts waiting for the money to roll in.
Nobody received communion by staying at home
Nobody made a baby just waiting for the bun to pop in the oven
Nobody helped the needy by just waiting for the "right" poor person to come along.

If you want something, go out and get it.

ShanaA1984 · #48 Jun 8, '12, 9:52 pm

But what if you do not know where to find "it"?

austenbosten · #49 Jun 8, '12, 9:53 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShanaA1984

But what if you do not know where to find "it"?

I just say be aggressive and seek for it anywhere. Preferably a church and not a dive bar

ShanaA1984 · #50 Jun 8, '12, 9:56 pm

Church would be the first place I would go to if my church held singles events (and being a campus church you would think that they would). Its been years since I have been to a bar. The last bar I was in was when I was stationed in San Antonio and it was on base.

exoflare · #51 Jun 8, '12, 9:58 pm

A few of my friends have had success with online dating that ended in marriage. I wouldn't know myself.

Crescentinus · #52 Jun 8, '12, 10:00 pm

The local parish church in my area does not have any singles events at all.

ShanaA1984 · #53 Jun 8, '12, 10:03 pm

My parish does have a Young Adult Ministry but it is geared toward young adults and their FAMILIES but singles are welcome to attend as an after thought

austenbosten · #54 Jun 8, '12, 10:23 pm

Yeah for an institution that promotes marriages, churches have failed miserably. My old church had no people my age so guess what....I couldn't date anyone there.

One of the reasons I seldom go to church is because it is so geared towards old folks and married couples.

You know the only time I felt a "church" had it right was the Jewish temples I went to. Sure it was the same as church, but Jewish people are obsessed with matchmaking. When I attended synagogue almost every woman told me "I have a great girl for you." Gee...it kinda made me feel welcomed and more desiring to go there, because the people there wanted to help me fulfill their sacraments.

Church I feel like, "give us your tithe and if you're not a family or an elderly person or a child.....tough luck pal"

That's why I love when churches complain about young people never showing up...well der you toss them aside when they leave Sunday school and you tell them they have to get married or somehow resist those intense urges otherwise burn in Hell...so the kids get out, try and find love and wind up with a bunch of liberals or atheists and think, gee why bother going back. Boom the church has dropped another soul.

Sorry I had to vent a little.

ShanaA1984 · #55 Jun 8, '12, 10:39 pm

Oh I am in total agreement with you. Before I became catholic I was an ELCA Lutheran and there was not a single person my age there nor where there any youth groups for my age either ( I got baptized at 18) so really with nothing there as a means for making social connections after the service there really was no reason for me to keep going so I simply stopped going except for holidays when I was expected to attend with my grandmother.

Crescentinus · #56 Jun 9, '12, 7:49 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by exoflare

It's not up to them, it's up to you. Now go get 'em tiger!

Trying to do so, and failing. D:

austenbosten · #57 Jun 9, '12, 8:58 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShanaA1984

Oh I am in total agreement with you. Before I became catholic I was an ELCA Lutheran and there was not a single person my age there nor where there any youth groups for my age either ( I got baptized at 18) so really with nothing there as a means for making social connections after the service there really was no reason for me to keep going so I simply stopped going except for holidays when I was expected to attend with my grandmother.

Really!?

I'm ELCA Lutheran too, I'm looking to return to the Mother Church. I'd still be a Lutheran if any High-church Lutheranism still existed but they are few and far between and like most they cater to FEC (Families, Elderly, Children) crowd.

So how has being a Catholic changed that, do they offer more services for singles? or are there at least more people your age there?

PatriceA · #58 Jun 9, '12, 9:08 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crescentinus

Problem is, that is not what they mean. All they're telling me is to wait for Ms. Right.

No, that's not what they were telling you to do. They were telling you to slow down with wanting to jump into relationships so quickly before you really knew the person. They gave you that advice because of the people you were trying to date. They advised you to slow down and work a bit more on yourself before becoming involved again. You missed what they were telling you. You even come across desperate in any post you make about dating, I would bet that's coming across to people as well in real life. I'm not trying to attack you, but I've noticed a pattern in your posts about relationships and the desperation is just radiating over the internet. That's why I and others were telling you to wait, slow down, and just take a break from dating for a bit. Being 22 years old and single is NOT the end of the world and you have to trust God's timing more than your own.

Crescentinus · #59 Jun 9, '12, 9:15 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by PatriceA

No, that's not what they were telling you to do. They were telling you to slow down with wanting to jump into relationships so quickly before you really knew the person. They gave you that advice because of the people you were trying to date. They advised you to slow down and work a bit more on yourself before becoming involved again. You missed what they were telling you. You even come across desperate in any post you make about dating, I would bet that's coming across to people as well in real life. I'm not trying to attack you, but I've noticed a pattern in your posts about relationships and the desperation is just radiating over the internet. That's why I and others were telling you to wait, slow down, and just take a break from dating for a bit. Being 22 years old and single is NOT the end of the world and you have to trust God's timing more than your own.

Sadly, only a few clarified about that. Most have nagged me to wait and I ended up guessing what they meant. And yes, I do have this idiotic tendency to come across as desperate even in real life.

Should I tell you something rather deep about me and why I rush? Please ask me about it in a PM. It is very hard for me to say this in a forum thread.

Paddy1989 · #60 Jun 9, '12, 11:16 am

You have to go out more and be more assertive, also you must be open to the fact that most likely the woman you get is secular minded, as long though as she understand's and respect's your faith on issue's like pre marital sex and contraception etc. For women sitting there and waiting for a lad this is their biggest mistake, i'm not saying they should be the assertive one although if you have it in you to do it then go for it

however at least give lad's signal's that you are interested in them, alot of eye contact and even smiling usually is enough to get any man even the shy one's to gather up the confidence to talk to you if they are interested.

I wouldn't advise the whole internet thing to be honest, just attend social place's like bar's, club's etc and just start up a random conversation with a woman like you would do to any lad if you were out, you should be able to tell from her body language though how comfortable she is and just keep working it from there, it really isn't difficult as long as she is interested. My point is that too many just complain about it but logically how will that change anything?