Dating someone older - Page 5

Crescentinus · #61 Jun 11, '12, 10:17 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by CesarAugustus

Hmmm. Who would have thought it. Things considered geeky stuff in other countries is mainstream and popular in your city. That is like the dream of various fans over here... but as you said earlier, even in a social environment like that, there is discrimination based in trendy material.

Yes, focusing on more important things can give you a new perspective.

Explain her about it, then!

Blessings!

Then again, the problem is more with the mainstream Korean dramas than with anime out here. I've seen the worst from Justin Bieber fans though. A lot of them tend to have this "I will not date you but Justin Bieber instead" mentality. D:

That, I never really realized. o:

Maybe later.

mellowcalico · #62 Jun 11, '12, 12:55 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllSeasons

Here's also a biological/medical consideration. I remember hearing somewhere that the quality of eggs tend to decrease over time, so there's a greater possibility of medical complications in children born to older mothers. Further, older mothers tend to have more complications during birth and may require Caesarians more often than younger mothers.

These are disadvantages of being an older mom... but there are advantages too. One I hear a lot is older mom's tend to be more mature and have more emotional energy to give a child. With age there comes wisdom. Some studies also say that older mothers tend to be more relaxed and less stressed than younger women and that their children score higher on some intellectual tests (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1060314/)... so basically what I am saying is there are advantages and disadvantages to being an older mom.

Crescentinus · #63 Jun 11, '12, 7:37 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by mellowcalico

Going back to the original question, age differences matter less and less the older a person gets IMO.

For example, the difference between an 18 year old and a 21 year old are worlds apart when people are young.

Go in the future just a few years and when they are 25 and 27 they are pretty much at the same stage in life.

Go in the future a little more when that 18 year old is 38 and that 21 year old is 41, the age difference is irrelevant.

Even further in the future, it seems almost ludicrous to think that there is much generational difference between a 75 year old and a 77 year old.

If you like, think of it in terms of level... at lower levels, the difference in characters is more apparent than at higher levels... well, unless of course someone is a raider or whatever and they have raid gear... but I don't think there is dating raid gear

.

Indeed. At my age, generational and behavioral differences matter a lot, hence my age requirement. That, and it is a little awkward for me to date some who is older or younger than me by 9 months due to the generational and behavioral differences involved.

Raid gear? I might not need one.

AllSeasons · #64 Jun 12, '12, 8:32 pm

Here's another related question. Do you think she sees me as a younger guy or as an equal?

cjmclark · #65 Jun 13, '12, 12:28 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllSeasons

Here's another related question. Do you think she sees me as a younger guy or as an equal?

That's tough to answer. I imagine it would depend a lot on her personality, how you act around her, and how she interprets how you act.

If you're just talking strictly numbers-wise, again, this becomes less relevant the older you get. "Equality" is based more on maturity than anything else.

AllSeasons · #66 Jun 13, '12, 3:46 pm

I think what I'm going to do is not bring this up with her, unless it becomes a problem, although I still think it needs to be discussed if the relationship becomes serious.

pwlj87 · #67 Jun 13, '12, 4:07 pm

i dated a girl 2 years older than me, it wasn't that big of an issue i guess. she did seem a little more mature and knew what she wanted, and i at the time was kind of partying a little more

fontgoddess · #68 Jun 13, '12, 6:00 pm

One or two years is really not much of a difference unless you're quite young.

If your main concern is children/fertility etc., well, I suppose statistically speaking you will in all likelihood have fewer children the older your wife is when you get started. However, younger doesn't always equal more fertile. I personally know lots of women who have had babies in their forties (without any fertility treatments or interventions), and I also know lots of women in their 20s and 30s with fertility problems. Never assume anything.

I am 2 years older than my husband. When we married, I was 41. I thought I might be too old to have a baby, but both my husband and I were at peace with that although we did pray we would be blessed. I am now 44 and expecting our 2nd baby - had no problems with the first, and none so far this time. I obviously haven't experienced diminished fertility.

Crescentinus · #69 Jul 6, '12, 7:28 pm

Here's a thought.
I will NEVER date a cougar!

kelvinf · #70 Jul 8, '12, 5:50 am

I generally prefer being with someone older than me. And my desire is to marry a lady somewhat older than me. It's just a different world with them

as it's with those younger

(no offense, just my experience).

chevalier · #71 Jul 9, '12, 5:01 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllSeasons

If you're a guy, have you dated someone older than you, say by 1 or 2 years? If so, how was it? Did the age difference ever become an issue? Thank you in advance.

1-2 years of metrical age (years since birth) is not actually so significant. Your own physical and mental age (actual development/wear) are probably not perfectly at the same figure as your metrical age, let alone when we compare two different persons. In this sense, if you and the girl are within 1-2 years of each other, then you don't really know who's older in this sense (and it might be debatable anyway).

This said, it can be different. Sometimes you can feel the difference. The awareness of the difference may also affect how people act (unlike e.g. mediaeval commoners who might not even have known their exact ages and be blissfully unaware of the difference).

The last woman I've heard a proper LJBF from was one year my senior and she actually overplayed the difference to a point that was comical when she actually talked about it but most of the time she forgot to. It wasn't really so visible anyway. And I was 27 and she 28, so who cares.

A woman after her (I can claim that wasn't an LJBF on a technicality and I will), I don't even know how old she was. I presume she had 2-3 on me but I have no idea. Yet another (there was no LJBF again!), I have absolutely no idea whatsoever and we flirted for months (anything between 26 and 33, while I was 28). We stopped, and I still don't care whatever her age is, although right now we'd simply be chatting at a coffee as pals because things weren't intense anyway.

Some other time I was preparing to make a quick exit because the lady was beginning to appear too young to me. I had the impression I was hitting on a student in early twenties. Turned out she was almost forty. So one can really, really badly misjudge. If one can misjudge within melee range, I mean, conversation distance, then you really shouldn't be worrying about 1-2 years.

Only worry about the 1-2 years if you expect to be married to a woman aged 30 when you're 40.

AllSeasons · #72 Jul 9, '12, 5:10 pm

Pardon my ignorance, but what is LJBF? Just curious.

chevalier · #73 Jul 9, '12, 6:44 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllSeasons

Pardon my ignorance, but what is LJBF? Just curious.

"Let's Just Be Friends"

It usually starts with some variation, "Look, I really appreciate you as a friend and I'm glad I've met you but..."

I know it by heart by now and almost finished it for the girl the last time I got it.

It was a funny twist to a rather devastating moment.

tym87114 · #74 Jul 13, '12, 11:31 pm

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