I'm thinking of becoming a housewife. - Page 2

LittleFlower378 · #16 Jun 11, '12, 11:52 am

We face a problem in our family where we are both stressed out alot. I plead with my wife to work less hours but she doesnt want to. Pray for us if you can. I think by being a SAHM you are setting a great example for many many people. For me, its better to have less, but be less stressed and have time for each other. I think a main problem in America is the crisis of both husband and wife working. It takes a toll on family life. God Bless You!

ricmat · #17 Jun 11, '12, 12:22 pm

IMHO - from a husband of 34 years:

After you have kids, it's a requirement to be a housewife.

Before that, I would use this question as a test - "Are you more likely to 'grow in love' having an outside job, or being a housewife?' "

In which "job" are you able to give, and receive the most love?

CountrySinger · #18 Jun 11, '12, 1:49 pm

I'm going to be a housewife in a couple months when DH and I move to the UK for DH'd job. He will be making about what we do now with us both working, plus living in a city with a lot lower cost of living.

Plus free health insurance. I'm looking forward to it.

Already I'm researching couponing in the UK (I coupon here, and cut our expenses by 50-75%). And I'm planning on volunteering in a field I love (music), so I will have experience (no more customer service!) It will be nice to come home and not be run down. And the flat being clean and food on the table.

DH will be doing a job he likes, and I like being a housewife. Instead of me hating life after working at a bank, I will be relazed. We don't have kids, so I feel bad, like I am lazy or something. But it will make things a lot happier for us.

BlueEyedLady · #19 Jun 11, '12, 2:18 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by ricmat

IMHO - from a husband of 34 years:

After you have kids, it's a requirement to be a housewife.

That's nice. Now try explaining that to all of the families that cannot survive on one income, or to families where the wife out earns her husband and his income is not enough to live off of.

**Della** · #20 Jun 11, '12, 2:39 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyedLady

That's nice. Now try explaining that to all of the families that cannot survive on one income, or to families where the wife out earns her husband and his income is not enough to live off of.

There are always exceptions. In general, though, most families do better if one spouse can stay home with the kids. House husbands do well too if they have the right disposition for it. I don't think ricmat meant that being a SAHM should be a hard, fast rule for all mothers, but whenever possible it's the best thing for the wife, the kids and the husband because being a parent is just as hard a career as any job out there. The benefits are better. Who else has the freedom to kiss the boss whenever she'd like?

catholicanne · #21 Jun 11, '12, 2:43 pm

I'm a stay-at-home wife. We don't have children either (well, not yet, we're adopting soon!) but my husband adores that I stay home. He works long hours so when he can come home to a clean, good-smelling home, that's warm, inviting, and can eat a hot dinner right after he walks through the door, he knows it's worth it. I'm a full-time online college student as well but honestly, I love being home. I do a little craft business on the side and I take care of our four pets. My favorite "chore" is baking because my husband loves the little treats I make for him. Yes, it has been a financial sacrifice but saving money has now turned into a game. If I can save a few more dollars this week than last week, I'm winning!

catholicanne · #22 Jun 11, '12, 2:45 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyedLady

That's nice. Now try explaining that to all of the families that cannot survive on one income, or to families where the wife out earns her husband and his income is not enough to live off of.

Wow, that's a harsh statement. My husband makes $12/hr full-time yet we can manage to save enough money for me to stay home. Don't bring your negative attitude to this thread and dump on hard-working people who have sacrificed so that they can have one spouse stay at home. Where there is a will, there is a way.

BlueEyedLady · #23 Jun 11, '12, 3:33 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by catholicanne

Wow, that's a harsh statement. My husband makes $12/hr full-time yet we can manage to save enough money for me to stay home. Don't bring your negative attitude to this thread and dump on hard-working people who have sacrificed so that they can have one spouse stay at home. Where there is a will, there is a way.

Dump on hard working people? I'm standing up for people who have to work hard to support their families! For a lot of families raising children on one income is just not possible. Trust me, I grew up in one of those families.

LittleFlower378 · #24 Jun 12, '12, 6:52 am

I think thats the crisis. When husband and wife have to go to work just to support the family something is wrong somewhere. It could be a problem with the economy, it could be a problem with the spouses spending, it could be both. Every family and spouses have different circumstances. But I strongly reccomend SAHM. The Church Document Casti Connubii talks about this. I also believe its in the writings of John Paul II's Love and Responsibility and probably among plenty of other documents.

Em_in_FL · #25 Jun 12, '12, 7:16 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by catholicanne

Wow, that's a harsh statement. My husband makes $12/hr full-time yet we can manage to save enough money for me to stay home. Don't bring your negative attitude to this thread and dump on hard-working people who have sacrificed so that they can have one spouse stay at home. Where there is a will, there is a way.

Ahh... the classic, "If we can do it, why can't you?" argument.
Yeah. It's a bit more complicated than that... always.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyedLady

Dump on hard working people? I'm standing up for people who have to work hard to support their families! For a lot of families raising children on one income is just not possible. Trust me, I grew up in one of those families.

You know your own personal struggle... and I completely understand and agree. Be very cautious, though, to not get too defensive... as most don't understand the details of everyone else's circumstances. It's hard not to get defensive, I know.

I would encourage everyone to be charitable in their thoughts about how other families financially survive. We all have very DIVERSE circumstances, so assuming your way is the only way is highly uncharitable.

OP... prayers for you and your decision!!!

CountrySinger · #26 Jun 12, '12, 7:27 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Em_in_FL

Ahh... the classic, "If we can do it, why can't you?" argument.
Yeah. It's a bit more complicated than that... always.

You know your own personal struggle... and I completely understand and agree. Be very cautious, though, to not get too defensive... as most don't understand the details of everyone else's circumstances. It's hard not to get defensive, I know.

I would encourage everyone to be charitable in their thoughts about how other families financially survive. We all have very DIVERSE circumstances, so assuming your way is the only way is highly uncharitable.

OP... prayers for you and your decision!!!

I was about to reply, but you said it better than me.

TrueLight · #27 Jun 12, '12, 11:38 am

Question for the housewives.

I get a lot of my social interaction "fix" from work. Do you ever get lonely?

Also, for those who are highly educated, how do you keep your mind stimulated?

Thanks.

**Della** · #28 Jun 12, '12, 11:59 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueLight

Question for the housewives.

I get a lot of my social interaction "fix" from work. Do you ever get lonely?

Also, for those who are highly educated, how do you keep your mind stimulated?

Thanks.

In my case, I'm a bit of a hermit and don't miss being with people all that much. I get plenty of social interaction from doing things with a few close friends and by emailing others. I rarely get lonely. I write a good deal, making my at home situation ideal for me. And for intellectual stimulation there are books--my mainstay ever since I learned to read. Others may have difficulties in these areas, but it's been just fine for me. But I'm probably odd.

TrueLight · #29 Jun 12, '12, 1:57 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Della

In my case, I'm a bit of a hermit and don't miss being with people all that much. I get plenty of social interaction from doing things with a few close friends and by emailing others. I rarely get lonely. I write a good deal, making my at home situation ideal for me. And for intellectual stimulation there are books--my mainstay ever since I learned to read. Others may have difficulties in these areas, but it's been just fine for me. But I'm probably odd.

Thanks Della!

ricmat · #30 Jun 12, '12, 3:06 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyedLady

That's nice. Now try explaining that to all of the families that cannot survive on one income, or to families where the wife out earns her husband and his income is not enough to live off of.

Certainly there are some like that.

However, most people don't "need" as much as they think they do. For example, in my own case:

1. I mow my own grass.
2. My wife cuts my hair, and I cut hers.
3. We don't have cable TV, just an outside antenna.
4. Our cell phones are used only for emergencies, and cost about $4 per month. We make our long distance calls on Google Voice for free.
5. When we "eat out" (once every month or so), we go to a fast food place and each of us gets one or two things off the $1 menu, and a free cup of water.
6. I've never bought coffee at Starbucks.
7. Our land line phone does not have caller ID, or any other extra features.
8. We grocery shop where things we need are on sale, and things we don't need we don't buy. And we get a Sunday newspaper because it has a lot of coupons.
9. We haven't been to a movie since the prices went above $5 per person (so that's about 20 years ago). Eventually they are free on TV or the Internet.

These are the ones that come to mind.

Some people "need" these things. Other people "need" even more to be personally involved in their kids upbringing.

In an extreme case, it might make sense for the wife to work and the husband to stay home (with the kids). My brother did that for a long time. But generally speaking, it seems to work better the other way around.

I just read someplace that "All love involves sacrifice." Do you want the children of this age to be loved?