Deceased 1st husband (marriage annulled) -situation

Kathryn Ann · #1 Jun 12, '12, 8:32 pm

Hi, Dear Friends in Christ,

My first husband (from which I was granted an annulment by the Church) has recently died after many painful years of several different illnesses. He was living out of state for many years before he died, but I was able to make several calls where I was glad I had the opportunity to offer some compassion despite our sad history. Our daughter flew out to see him a month before he died, and they had a wonderful re-union.

I've been very happily remarried in the Church to my present (Cradle Catholic husband) after going through RCIA after the first marriage was annulled by the Diocesan Tribunal.

I find myself wondering: Should I report the death of my "ex" to the Diocesan Tribunal which granted the annulment? I hadn't thought of this until recently. The annulment still "happened," but does the death of one of the spouses involved in receiving the annulment change the annulment somehow? Or does the Diocese just need to know of the death for their records? Forgive me if these questions seem odd, but I was not raised in the Church and feel a bit lost here.

Is it all right to pray for the soul of someone who is not Catholic? My "ex" and I were both Protestants years ago when we married in a fundamental church. I know there is the Communion of the Saints, but can we pray for people who remained Protestant or who didn't practice in any faith? His sister is alive, and we write from time to time, as she is a widow and I feel compassion for her.

No matter what happens in life, I feel very strongly that each person is a child of God, and I have no ill will at all about the unfortunate circumstances leading to the annulment. Our lovely daughter, who is all grown, and I always included him in invitations to graduations and to her wedding.

My present, Catholic husband has always been very kind to him as well. I feel so grateful to God for him, as I think God foresees so many of our troubles, and sends to us people who will draw us to Him and to His Church! What would have happened to me, a single, divorced mother with a child, alone against the world, had I not met my present husband, who was very much a father to my daughter and remains so? I feel very blessed and grateful.

I just wondered -I also sometimes feel a bit like someone widowed, but who has now remarried joyfully in the Church. Does the Church look at me, or my situation any differently now? Would the Diocese think it odd if I called to inform them of this?

Grateful for advice.
Kathryn Ann

**adrift** · #2 Jun 12, '12, 8:43 pm

You do not need to do anything. Your marriage to your first husband was declared null. Which is like it never happened. When you married your husband, according to the Church it was not marrying again but for the first time.

Pray for anyone is a good and noble thing. It doesn't matter what faith they might or might not have. You could have a Mass said for him.

Your situartion is no different.

aicirt · #3 Jun 12, '12, 10:53 pm

Certainly you can pray for him and, as the other poster said, have a Mass said too if you should choose. You should suggest that to his daughter also.

I don't think it is necessary to tell anyone in the church he is dead. I'd ask your priest.

And feeling like a widow is normal. You are mourning what was, what might have been, and you did have a relationship with him which gave you both a child you share. Understandable.

TheRealJuliane · #4 Jun 13, '12, 6:35 am

No, nothing will change about your annulment. The diocese does not need to know that he has died. If you were NOW applying for an annulment, then the tribunal would need to know that, but not after the fact.

Yes of course you can pray for your ex-husband's soul!!! It is an act of mercy on your part.

My condolences to you on the death of your first husband and your daughter's father.

Kathryn Ann · #5 Jun 13, '12, 7:51 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRealJuliane

No, nothing will change about your annulment. The diocese does not need to know that he has died. If you were NOW applying for an annulment, then the tribunal would need to know that, but not after the fact.

Yes of course you can pray for your ex-husband's soul!!! It is an act of mercy on your part.

My condolences to you on the death of your first husband and your daughter's father.

Thank you, TheRealJuliane, for your kind words! I really didn't know how to think of this and these forums are so helpful.
Kathryn Ann

Kathryn Ann · #6 Jun 13, '12, 7:54 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by aicirt

Certainly you can pray for him and, as the other poster said, have a Mass said too if you should choose. You should suggest that to his daughter also.

I don't think it is necessary to tell anyone in the church he is dead. I'd ask your priest.

And feeling like a widow is normal. You are mourning what was, what might have been, and you did have a relationship with him which gave you both a child you share. Understandable.

I appreciate your advice, aircirt. I don't know many people in my circumstances, although I'm sure they are out there. I think having a Mass said for him would be wonderful. Thank you very much!
Kathryn Ann

Kathryn Ann · #7 Jun 13, '12, 7:57 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by adrift

You do not need to do anything. Your marriage to your first husband was declared null. Which is like it never happened. When you married your husband, according to the Church it was not marrying again but for the first time.

Pray for anyone is a good and noble thing. It doesn't matter what faith they might or might not have. You could have a Mass said for him.

Your situartion is no different.

Hi adrift, and I see more clearly now. It's so good to know I can pray for him and have a Mass said for him. I'll let my daughter know this too. She will be very please, I'm sure, to know this. Thank you!