Why Has God Let So Many Be Single In This Day In Age?

[AFHGOLD]

I have been praying for a wife for years now and I want to know why God has not sent me in path with a spouse. I am no longer in my 20’s and I have been growing really close in my Catholic faith, going to confession at least once a month if not more, and taking the Eucharist every week as a Catholic should. I have been working heavily on myself for years now to be a good spouse.

Through my years of prayer I have heard nothing from God, not a single calling and I want to know why? I know what many will comment already and before the comments come rolling in with your suggestions I can guarantee you all that I have already done what many of you are about to suggest.

Over the years I have gone on lots of dates, and have been actively involved especially in young adult ministries and even attend theology on tap, still nothing? I have even signed up on various dating websites Catholic and non-Catholic included, even Ave Maria, still no word from God? I have gotten myself in many different kinds of clubs and just have been active as well, still nothing. Now I have been meeting girls both Catholic and non-Catholic but it is becoming more impossible to make a connection and strike up an attraction with either sides.

For Example:

Dating non Catholic girls:

- Non Catholic girls are so hard to date because first off all, all they do is play head games and I am little too old for that, plus there is so much pressure to sleep and have sex with a non- Catholic girl because if you don’t pursue them sexually they will just sleep with another guy in their ridiculous games. I thank the Lord every day that he has given me the strength in my older years to see past this and wait for sex now and the goal is until marriage!!!!

Dating Catholic Girls:

- Dating Catholic girls is fine because I love their faith, but I met so many Catholic women that I am just not even remotely physically attracted too, and it’s not just the physical attraction, it is the emotional and mental connection as well. I have talked to a few attractive ones over the phone when meeting them online, but there was just no connection at all!!! Also some Catholic girls are a little too hardcore for me, for example one girl said she is against having a TV in her house because it is the devils toy and she just wants to be a stay at home mom and have at least 7 or more children. My thoughts were ummm this is ok I guess in another lifetime but that’s not what I want either. I am just an average American guy who wants a normal Catholic girl to live out the faith with and also live out life’s adventures with. I am a pretty serious Catholic, but I am not dry and not so hardcore where I won’t have a TV and all I want to do is pump out child after child and go on welfare in this bad economy.

So I pray and I pray and still yet nothing, no signs, no call, no anything. I even asked God if I should just be a priest if that is my vocation. After thinking that over and over again the very thought of being a priest just made me cringe with a bad taste in my mouth. No offense to anyone out there on the priesthood it’s just not the kind of Job on this earth I truly can’t see myself doing which tells me that this probably isn’t a calling for me.

I know this post is long but it is my deepest desire to find an amazing mate to go through life with. I have prayed hard for years, and have not received an answer and I want to know why? I want to know why God has not even put anyone in my path for years now that has not even been close to being a possible marriage prospect, why?

Does God not say, "It is better for man to not be alone." I always cling on to this verse when I pray to God for a spouse.

And could I please receive some prayers as well to meet a future spouse who will fit me in this journey of life?

[Crescentinus]

I thought that I am alone in this problem.

[bearer]

It's not God. It's society. Most families, and people for that matter, are pretty well secularized and in no rush to marry. Faithful Catholics, or any Christians really, can be hard to find in some parts.

You just have to keep looking. Chances are God is not going to drop a spouse in your lap. It's up to you to do the legwork. Finding that person is the real blessing, even if it takes you a while. Keep in mind, too, that there are graces that come with sacramental marriage.

This thread reminded me of a commercial for one of those Christian singles sites: "Sometimes we wait for God to make the next move when God is saying, 'It's your time to act.'"

Keep searching, keep praying, and trust in His will. God bless you!

[fin]

Hi OP,

i do not know what advice to give. But I would like to invite you to join my group, just click on my signature below. Let us pray for our future spouse and for ourselves.

[Crescentinus]

Originally Posted by fin

Hi OP,

i do not know what advice to give. But I would like to invite you to join my group, just click on my signature below. Let us pray for our future spouse and for ourselves.

*joins group* [:

[barb finnegan]

I'm on 'the other side' of 50, and I'm still single!

I never had any inclination to get married, and I was never able to become a religious (nearly all of the few 'good' communities won't even LOOK AT a person of my age!).

So I'm in the only state left, singlehood. I don't think of it as a 'vocation'-it's a mere 'state of life'. Or as someone wrote to me once, it's a 'forced state'.

A lot of times it 'stinks' (want to use another word, but I'm afraid I'll get called out by the moderators here ). It's hard being alone the older one gets.

I feel badly for the OP in his search for the 'perfect spouse', but really, it's not what it's cracked up to be.

I guess 'commitment-phobia' is endemic these days....

[sacred_words]

I thought i was alone too, cuz a lot of the people i've met who seem like they'd be cool are already spoken for.

[PennyinCanada]

I know Catholic women who have left their 20's and are asking the same question.
Some thoughts I've had are

1) The person(s) God had in mind made other choices, (married without considering God and their faith) or haven't made the choice they need to to be Catholic yet.

2) God can see that your soul is in the state of grace. It might be that He also sees that there is a great difficulty in living Humane Vitae, and He does not want you to 'fall into worldly ways' in this matter, of contraception and sterilization. You are too precious to Him to put you in this perilous situation. You may be strong but perhaps your wife would have some very persuasive arguments to use contraception and eventually get sterilized. I've seen many Catholic couples who had 3 children and consider themselves 'generous' when they had the third. The unbelievers think like that. We are called to be 'light' and 'salt' to the world!

I will remember you at the Divine Liturgy tomorrow. May we both grow in holiness where God has placed us and walk faithfully with our crosses. The saints had done so and are supporting us in the stands, cheering us on while we labor in the field against the opposition.

[GEddie]

I don't know the OP's personal life, however:

The world is more crowded now than it has ever been; that had to flatten out sometime, just by the laws of nature; that means that some will not form couples or have families. IMNAAHO.

God Bless and ICXC NIKA

[Robertanthony]

According to some statistics 7% or even less males are attracted to obese women. How does that translate in real life? Out of 15 guys an obese woman meets, at most 1 is likely to be attracted to her physically. That's just the physique part. We haven't even touched on personality compatibility (not talking about stupid horoscope here), emotional connection yet, so it's plain to see finding a mate when you're an obese woman is tougher than if you're a Salma Hayek or Natassja Kinsky lookalike. What I'm painfully getting at is that if out of all the women available, she has got to be 1-a faithful Catholic 2-between 25-32 years old 3-between 5,3 and 5,6 foot tall 3-good-looking 4- dark complexion would be a plus etc., in short, the more criteria you have, the more the pool of potential candidates is narrowed down. When you find the "rare pearl" (French expression), she might not reciprocate your feelings. We're also not in a day and age where commitment, until-death-do-us-part type is in people's top priority. My honest-to-God opinion? You might have to lower some of your expectations. Perhaps find a kind woman who's reasonably attractive rather than look for a mate who meets every single one of your criteria of female attractiveness.

[Gods_Peace]

Originally Posted by AFHGOLD

I have been praying for a wife for years now and I want to know why God has not sent me in path with a spouse. I am no longer in my 20’s and I have been growing really close in my Catholic faith, going to confession at least once a month if not more, and taking the Eucharist every week as a Catholic should. I have been working heavily on myself for years now to be a good spouse.

Through my years of prayer I have heard nothing from God, not a single calling and I want to know why? I know what many will comment already and before the comments come rolling in with your suggestions I can guarantee you all that I have already done what many of you are about to suggest.

Over the years I have gone on lots of dates, and have been actively involved especially in young adult ministries and even attend theology on tap, still nothing? I have even signed up on various dating websites Catholic and non-Catholic included, even Ave Maria, still no word from God? I have gotten myself in many different kinds of clubs and just have been active as well, still nothing. Now I have been meeting girls both Catholic and non-Catholic but it is becoming more impossible to make a connection and strike up an attraction with either sides.

For Example:

Dating non Catholic girls:

- Non Catholic girls are so hard to date because first off all, all they do is play head games and I am little too old for that, plus there is so much pressure to sleep and have sex with a non- Catholic girl because if you don’t pursue them sexually they will just sleep with another guy in their ridiculous games. I thank the Lord every day that he has given me the strength in my older years to see past this and wait for sex now and the goal is until marriage!!!!

Dating Catholic Girls:

- Dating Catholic girls is fine because I love their faith, but I met so many Catholic women that I am just not even remotely physically attracted too, and it’s not just the physical attraction, it is the emotional and mental connection as well. I have talked to a few attractive ones over the phone when meeting them online, but there was just no connection at all!!! Also some Catholic girls are a little too hardcore for me, for example one girl said she is against having a TV in her house because it is the devils toy and she just wants to be a stay at home mom and have at least 7 or more children. My thoughts were ummm this is ok I guess in another lifetime but that’s not what I want either. I am just an average American guy who wants a normal Catholic girl to live out the faith with and also live out life’s adventures with. I am a pretty serious Catholic, but I am not dry and not so hardcore where I won’t have a TV and all I want to do is pump out child after child and go on welfare in this bad economy.

So I pray and I pray and still yet nothing, no signs, no call, no anything. I even asked God if I should just be a priest if that is my vocation. After thinking that over and over again the very thought of being a priest just made me cringe with a bad taste in my mouth. No offense to anyone out there on the priesthood it’s just not the kind of Job on this earth I truly can’t see myself doing which tells me that this probably isn’t a calling for me.

I know this post is long but it is my deepest desire to find an amazing mate to go through life with. I have prayed hard for years, and have not received an answer and I want to know why? I want to know why God has not even put anyone in my path for years now that has not even been close to being a possible marriage prospect, why?

Does God not say, "It is better for man to not be alone." I always cling on to this verse when I pray to God for a spouse.

And could I please receive some prayers as well to meet a future spouse who will fit me in this journey of life?

Theirs nothing wrong with not wanting a t.v, my parents never stop watching it...

[In Spiration]

Originally Posted by AFHGOLD

Also some Catholic girls are a little too hardcore for me, for example one girl said she is against having a TV in her house because it is the devils toy and she just wants to be a stay at home mom and have at least 7 or more children.

So can I get her number?

Just kidding.

But really. . .

Can I?

[ExCatholicGuy]

Originally Posted by In Spiration

So can I get her number?

Just kidding.

But really. . .

Can I?

Get in line...

[ConstantineTG]

Originally Posted by In Spiration

So can I get her number?

Just kidding.

But really. . .

Can I?

Originally Posted by ExCatholicGuy

Get in line...

You want to marry a woman who doesn't want TV in her home, and here you are both on the internet?

[LotusCarsLtd]

Trust me, I've tried for years with little luck. Even when there are tons of available Catholic women around me, trying to get an attraction outta them is like trying to get, I dunno, a zebra to shed it's stripes...