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  #1  
Old Jun 21, '12, 12:23 pm
daviddewar daviddewar is offline
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Default Please, please pray

I have no clue as to where God is wanting me anymore. I swear I thought I found the answer through prayer, meditation, and through what appeared to be obvious signs from God, but now everything has completely fallen apart.

My wife still refuses to talk to me about the state of our marriage (or lack thereof) and there are 5 days left until she can file for a divorce. I still, to this day, just have this unexplainable feeling of comfort that everything is going to work itself out (and I have absolutely no clue why because every earthly sign is pointing to the complete opposite - its been over a month and a half since she's even said "I love you", never mind anything else at all). The only thing I have going for this is an email she sent stating that she has not decided to divorce me but is waiting for God to tell her that it is time for things to move forward. This and just an unshakable feeling when I pray - those are the only things I've got going.

To make matters worse, my children are suffering. They are now beginning to act out in ways so much worse than before, and my daughter, who once had absolutely no problem talking about her feelings, is withdrawing and breaking down whenever I ask how she feels. My wife refuses to talk to them about our separation or possible divorce, and this is tearing me up - I had our kids last weekend and my daughter had an emotional breakdown during bedtime prayer time because she so desperately wanted my reassurance that we were all going to be a family again, together, one day and that my wife and I were going to stay married forever and ever. Unfortunately because of the complete silence I am receiving (and only phone records that prove she has in fact been in touch with family legal services) I have absolutely no way to console her other than to just remind her that even if my wife and I divorce it has absolutely nothing to do with anything that she and my son have done and that my wife and I will continue to love them forever and ever because they (my children) are our precious gifts from God. But it is still so difficult - I wish there were more words I could say to help her out.

Then there's my father in law. He has had an absolute hatred toward me from the beginning. He claims that, as a Catholic, he can't hate anyone, but I've never met anyone that is so dead set on holding onto and reminding everyone else of every single transgression that another person has done. This man, regardless of how many times I have reached out and tried to be a part of his life and his family, has continually cast me to the side from the very beginning and has gone out of his way to make me feel unwelcome and unwanted. This hurts.

And I don't have a job right now anymore. I had one, but then my wife and I were on (what seemed to be) a solid path of reconciliation that I gave up the job to move to the state where she and our children live. However, since her father got involved she has distanced herself from me and he has mandated that she not speak to me at all. She denied me visitation while I was down there, and all of this stress was just too much for me to take. I packed everything up and came back here. I passed up a job that was more lucrative than any other job I ever had (and a few other jobs that paid pretty well too) just because I didn't think I could handle being that close to my family and have my FIL continue to convince my wife to deny visitation. I know my own limits. Now there is still no work here and I am in such a financial mess. I don't know what to do.

Please. I have been begging God for direction, for some sort of sign as to what I am supposed to do. In the beginning of all of this it appeared that God made himself so visible to me; now I wonder if all of that was just me having some sort of coping mechanism for everything that was going on. Please pray for me. Please pray that God tells me where I need to go. I feel so lost and confused and hurt and discarded. I love God and I just wish he were as evident in my life as he was just a few months ago.

Thank you.
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  #2  
Old Jun 21, '12, 12:26 pm
244Rocket 244Rocket is online now
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Default Re: Please, please pray

Praying hard for your family.
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  #3  
Old Jun 21, '12, 1:47 pm
RileyG RileyG is offline
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Default Re: Please, please pray

Our Father...
Glory Be...
Hail Mary...
Amen +
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  #4  
Old Jun 21, '12, 4:30 pm
ready ready is offline
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Default Re: Please, please pray

Lord, may David cling to you, his Rock and Refuge. May he trust in your merciful love and be abandoned to it. May he persevere in faith and in every good work and never lose hope. Please meet his spiritual and temporal needs; lead him to the right employer and secure the right job for him. May he and his wife be able to work on their relationship together and be reunited. May David know that you have a plan for him and his family and will provide for all their needs. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer.
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  #5  
Old Jun 21, '12, 5:13 pm
the phoenix's Avatar
the phoenix the phoenix is offline
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Default Re: Please, please pray

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
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  #6  
Old Jun 22, '12, 2:04 am
UpUpAndAway's Avatar
UpUpAndAway UpUpAndAway is offline
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Default Re: Please, please pray

Remembering you and your family in my daily prayers. God bless
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  #7  
Old Jun 22, '12, 9:50 pm
nana3 nana3 is offline
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Default Re: Please, please pray

David,

Your story touched my heart. It reminded me of my three sisters and the struggle and pain they went through in their divorces. My marriage is not a happy one either and we struggle to work on it so that we do not end up divorce. I don't now if your wife is willing, but Retrovaille may help your. We did that. We are not doing what the program suggest we follow up on, but we have some issues with mental problems on my husband part, so we are now in counseling first and then we will pick up where we left off. As long as she is willing to work on the marriage, there is hope. Even if she isn't, I heard many of the couples who gave witness said they were dragged to the weekend by their spouse and they were glad for it saved their marriage. Just an idea, I would hate to see another divorce for the children the ones who suffer the most.

You have many trials happening to you and this could be that the Lord is just pruning you. You know that part in the Bible where it talks about the vine and the branches and then He talks about bearing fruits and to bear fruit, he prunes first. The pruning process can be painful. You will be bearing much fruit when all this is over and it becomes clear to you. You may not see why all this is happening, but it is happening for a reason.

My sisters who divorced did not want the divorce. They tried to work things out, but their husbands wanted out immediately. They wondered "why?" Today, they can see how much happier they are and how their ex-husbands are very unhappy in life. They are still looking for happiness. They thought by a divorce they could be happier and yet they are not happier. They fall into a relationship or get remarried and regret the divorce they had with my sisters. So far two of my brother-in-laws admitted that.

I don't know if this helps you or not, but hang in there, you are not alone in how you feel. My sisters all felt this well and it gets better. At least you are turning to God for help. You are asking others to intercede for you with prayers. You are on the right track.

May the Lord Bless you and keep you in peace and love.
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  #8  
Old Jun 22, '12, 10:34 pm
MS_SURVEYOR MS_SURVEYOR is online now
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Default Re: Please, please pray

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
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  #9  
Old Jun 23, '12, 3:03 pm
daviddewar daviddewar is offline
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Join Date: January 9, 2012
Posts: 95
Default Re: Please, please pray

Quote:
Originally Posted by nana3 View Post
David,

Your story touched my heart. It reminded me of my three sisters and the struggle and pain they went through in their divorces. My marriage is not a happy one either and we struggle to work on it so that we do not end up divorce. I don't now if your wife is willing, but Retrovaille may help your. We did that. We are not doing what the program suggest we follow up on, but we have some issues with mental problems on my husband part, so we are now in counseling first and then we will pick up where we left off. As long as she is willing to work on the marriage, there is hope. Even if she isn't, I heard many of the couples who gave witness said they were dragged to the weekend by their spouse and they were glad for it saved their marriage. Just an idea, I would hate to see another divorce for the children the ones who suffer the most.

You have many trials happening to you and this could be that the Lord is just pruning you. You know that part in the Bible where it talks about the vine and the branches and then He talks about bearing fruits and to bear fruit, he prunes first. The pruning process can be painful. You will be bearing much fruit when all this is over and it becomes clear to you. You may not see why all this is happening, but it is happening for a reason.

My sisters who divorced did not want the divorce. They tried to work things out, but their husbands wanted out immediately. They wondered "why?" Today, they can see how much happier they are and how their ex-husbands are very unhappy in life. They are still looking for happiness. They thought by a divorce they could be happier and yet they are not happier. They fall into a relationship or get remarried and regret the divorce they had with my sisters. So far two of my brother-in-laws admitted that.

I don't know if this helps you or not, but hang in there, you are not alone in how you feel. My sisters all felt this well and it gets better. At least you are turning to God for help. You are asking others to intercede for you with prayers. You are on the right track.

May the Lord Bless you and keep you in peace and love.
Thank you for your kind words and prayers. Right now I'm actually not too sure how much longer I actually want to be married to my wife. I know that sounds horrible, but we've both done so much to hurt and pretty much destroy our marriage, and its just gotten to the point where she shows zero interest in putting forth any effort to help with reconciliation. I mean, we made a tremendous amount of progress, but her father can't stand me and he has convinced her to abdicate any and all control she had over to him, and now its just down the drain. I love my wife - with all of my heart! But I can't continue in a marriage that is separated by 500 geographical miles with zero communication. I have many trials I am facing beyond our marriage, and if she isn't willing to stand with me as she vowed to me and to God in front of our families and friends, then what does that mean? To me it means I am just not worth any of her time.

I signed us up for Retrouvaille before she ended all communication. I have since had to cancel because, again, she is not interested in putting forth any type of effort for us to reconcile. I really thought God wanted us to go through with it - I really did because of the timing and how it was presented to me, but unfortunately I guess I was wrong.

My main intention here is to find out where God wants me. At the beginning of the year, when all of this started, it appeared to me that God was making his presence known to me in a more powerful way than any other time in my life. Unfortunately I don't seem to have that same presence. I mean, I have the faith that God is there and that he loves me, but I just don't seem to be getting any answers to prayers or signs as to what I am supposed to do - with anything: marriage, job, housing, etc. I just pray that God will again tell me what it is I am supposed to do.
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  #10  
Old Jun 25, '12, 10:51 pm
Ashgeoff Ashgeoff is offline
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Join Date: June 25, 2012
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Lightbulb Re: Please, please pray

God bless you! You have to believe he will! Worry about nothing and pray about everything. Here is one that May help.


~
O Heart of Jesus,
I place all my trust in You,
hoping for all things from Your goodness.
You make a root flourish beneath the soil;
You can make fruitful the darkness in which I find myself today.
I adore You in all Your purposes even without knowing them;
Your will be done, not mine.
May I be patient!
It is so difficult to realize these trials,
heartbreaking as they are, can be turned into blessings.
Lord, give me peace of mind,
peace of heart,
and peace of soul,
as I offer You my thoughts,
my words, and my action,
and yes, Lord my sufferings.
May they all be for Your greater glory.

Amen.
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  #11  
Old Jun 25, '12, 11:04 pm
utunumsint utunumsint is offline
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Default Re: Please, please pray

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blest is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death.

I pray, lord Jesus, bring healing to this man's heart, and restore his family.

Amen
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  #12  
Old Jun 26, '12, 1:04 pm
tbcrawford's Avatar
tbcrawford tbcrawford is offline
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Default Re: Please, please pray

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
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  #13  
Old Jun 26, '12, 3:05 pm
Yamila56 Yamila56 is offline
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Join Date: July 26, 2011
Posts: 162
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Default Re: Please, please pray

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

You and your family are in my daily prayers.
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  #14  
Old Jun 27, '12, 11:02 pm
nana3 nana3 is offline
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Posts: 1,926
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Please, please pray

Quote:
Originally Posted by daviddewar View Post
Thank you for your kind words and prayers. Right now I'm actually not too sure how much longer I actually want to be married to my wife. I know that sounds horrible, but we've both done so much to hurt and pretty much destroy our marriage, and its just gotten to the point where she shows zero interest in putting forth any effort to help with reconciliation. I mean, we made a tremendous amount of progress, but her father can't stand me and he has convinced her to abdicate any and all control she had over to him, and now its just down the drain. I love my wife - with all of my heart! But I can't continue in a marriage that is separated by 500 geographical miles with zero communication. I have many trials I am facing beyond our marriage, and if she isn't willing to stand with me as she vowed to me and to God in front of our families and friends, then what does that mean? To me it means I am just not worth any of her time.

I signed us up for Retrouvaille before she ended all communication. I have since had to cancel because, again, she is not interested in putting forth any type of effort for us to reconcile. I really thought God wanted us to go through with it - I really did because of the timing and how it was presented to me, but unfortunately I guess I was wrong.

My main intention here is to find out where God wants me. At the beginning of the year, when all of this started, it appeared to me that God was making his presence known to me in a more powerful way than any other time in my life. Unfortunately I don't seem to have that same presence. I mean, I have the faith that God is there and that he loves me, but I just don't seem to be getting any answers to prayers or signs as to what I am supposed to do - with anything: marriage, job, housing, etc. I just pray that God will again tell me what it is I am supposed to do.
David,
It founds like you are doing all you can to save your marriage and your wife is not interested in doing so. At this point, if I were you, I would just pray for your wife and wait and see what will happen. If she files for divorce, then so be it, but if not and she calms down, give Retrovaille a chance. I have heard marriages in terrible conditions during the weekend that were hurting and they were able to fix things. It did not happen overnight, but they were able to forgive each other and move on and they are now happier than ever. So you don't know what God has planned. For whatever reason, God is allowing this to happen to you. I was once told by a holy priest not to look for signs from God. He doesn't always send us signs. You just have to pray and listen to him in your heart. He may speak to you through another person or in the Word, the Bible. He does not always ive us consolation, sometimes we experience the desert period. You may be there now. I know in my life, I miss those times of consolation where I can actually feel the Lord's presence in my life for it is marvelous but it doesn't happen all the time.

I will continue to pray for you and your wife, David. Don't give up hope until the divorce papers are signed. Stay close to Jesus and continue to ask for His guidance. At this point, it may be just to sit and wait. It may be to pray for your wife. Be kind to her and show her always Christ like behavior and love.

God Bless you, David.
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  #15  
Old Jun 27, '12, 11:10 pm
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CleverUserName CleverUserName is offline
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Default Re: Please, please pray

Quote:
Originally Posted by nana3 View Post
David,
It founds like you are doing all you can to save your marriage and your wife is not interested in doing so. At this point, if I were you, I would just pray for your wife and wait and see what will happen. If she files for divorce, then so be it, but if not and she calms down, give Retrovaille a chance. I have heard marriages in terrible conditions during the weekend that were hurting and they were able to fix things. It did not happen overnight, but they were able to forgive each other and move on and they are now happier than ever. So you don't know what God has planned. For whatever reason, God is allowing this to happen to you. I was once told by a holy priest not to look for signs from God. He doesn't always send us signs. You just have to pray and listen to him in your heart. He may speak to you through another person or in the Word, the Bible. He does not always ive us consolation, sometimes we experience the desert period. You may be there now. I know in my life, I miss those times of consolation where I can actually feel the Lord's presence in my life for it is marvelous but it doesn't happen all the time.

I will continue to pray for you and your wife, David. Don't give up hope until the divorce papers are signed. Stay close to Jesus and continue to ask for His guidance. At this point, it may be just to sit and wait. It may be to pray for your wife. Be kind to her and show her always Christ like behavior and love.

God Bless you, David.
This was excellent advice.

I am praying for you, too.

Sometimes I find that God doesn't answer me boldly because He knows that I already know the answer. I'm not saying you do, just wondering if there has been one constant underneath it all, some direction that you've felt that hasn't changed.

Pray for her.
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