Marriage and Age

Hubertus · #1 Jul 16, '12, 6:42 pm

What are the Catholic Church's teachings on the youngest age for marriage, and the largest permissible age difference between the couple? Or, if there is not a teaching, then what has been the tendency of Catholic culture in age difference and youngest age for marriage over the years?

How much older could the male be than the female? How much older could the female be than the male? (I realize this depends on how old respectively the couple is at first - I remember once hearing of an equation from a friend, "Half the male's age plus 7 gives the lowest age for the female" but I have no idea where he got that.)

Thank you for your answers! This is something I've always wondered about.

chevalier · #2 Jul 16, '12, 6:51 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hubertus

What are the Catholic Church's teachings on the youngest age for marriage,

The law is 16 for men, 14 for women (canon 1083 § 1) but the conference of bishops can set it higher (canon 1083 § 2). Dunno about teaching.

Quote:

and the largest permissible age difference between the couple?

The older one needs to still be alive while making the vows.

Marc Anthony · #3 Jul 16, '12, 6:52 pm

Heh, I don't have an answer but your friend got that number from xkcd:

http://xkcd.com/314/

It's a joke.

Hubertus · #4 Jul 16, '12, 7:05 pm

Thanks to you both.

So the canon law is 16 for males and 14 for females.

But I wonder if the Church or saints or Catholic culture in general has ever had anything to say about the age difference between the two? Surely it's seen as strange for a very old man to marry a very young woman, but why is this? And at what point does it become weird?

Elizium23 · #5 Jul 16, '12, 8:04 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marc Anthony

Heh, I don't have an answer but your friend got that number from xkcd:

http://xkcd.com/314/

It's a joke.

That formula is surely much older than the XKCD cartoon.

joanofarc2008 · #6 Jul 16, '12, 8:31 pm

I would agree that the older one still needs to be alive - Good call Chev.

I would also say that the older one should have no known impediments such as impotence. But I am not sure how much older you are meaning.

IMO the severe age difference also might make for some more indepth pre-marital counseling just to make sure that there were not the types of communication barriers or power dynamics that may make marriage more difficult or that they were at least dealt with before hand or at least talked about.

lerapt78 · #7 Jul 16, '12, 8:44 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hubertus

Thanks to you both.

So the canon law is 16 for males and 14 for females.

But I wonder if the Church or saints or Catholic culture in general has ever had anything to say about the age difference between the two? Surely it's seen as strange for a very old man to marry a very young woman, but why is this? And at what point does it become weird?

I don't know if the Church has voiced any opinion regarding age difference. I personally consider a very old man with a very young woman to be creepy, but that's just my personal opinion. (Same for a very old woman/very young man)

At which point it becomes "weird" is again a matter of personal opinion. I have always considered it ideal for men and women to be within a few years of each other, and the maximum age difference that I would personally even consider would be 10 years, although I prefer within + or - 5 years.

It also depends on the current ages of the two. For example, a 7-year difference is huge when one is 18 and the other is 25, but it's not a big deal if both people are getting married in their forties.

(waiting to get flamed!)

Marc Anthony · #8 Jul 16, '12, 9:27 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elizium23

That formula is surely much older than the XKCD cartoon.

I've never heard it used in that context before the cartoon