I have been diagnosed...

just came back · #1 Jul 21, '12, 5:01 pm

...as having a sexual addiction as a compulsive behavior with lack of impulse control. (Masturbation since I was 14 in 1989) The Catholic shrink I have been speaking to is NOT fully honed to deal with sexual addiction disorders and has considered I seek a f/t sexual addiction therapist albeit one who is practicing from a purely secular point of view.

Major problem in that this guy does NOT accept insurance and I seriously don't have the cash that this type of therapy would cost. My priest, in confession, has suggested more prayer and taking it kind of like 12 step where my main goal is to make it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Urban legend states you can kick a habit in 3 weeks of maintaining abstinence.

I am sick of masturbation and the lies of the devil that it entails. I am about to start a hard journey but I know God is with me. Thanks. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me to thy beloved son, in His name. Amen!

**Trishie** · #2 Jul 21, '12, 6:03 pm

Father, in the Name of Jesus, please give the necessary graces each day to this struggling soul. Please send Your Holy Spirit in each moment, each day.
Please guide this person to practical strategies for dealing with this issue and with breaking this lonely and self-defeating behavior, and to secure other assistance if it is needed.
Father please allow Your merciful love to lead and heal all that is disordered in this, Your loved child.

tuscany · #3 Jul 21, '12, 6:49 pm

Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid the helpless, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, hug the lonely,
guide us from evil, guard the unborn,
protect those in danger, pray for those who have died;
may all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen.

LoyalViews · #4 Jul 21, '12, 7:03 pm

While masturbation is morally evil, you do realise, that since you have been diagnosed of having an addiction, it reduces one's culpability for the sin? And, I'm praying for you to overcome it.

just came back · #5 Jul 21, '12, 7:44 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoyalViews

While masturbation is morally evil, you do realise, that since you have been diagnosed of having an addiction, it reduces one's culpability for the sin? And, I'm praying for you to overcome it.

I do realize that, but prolonged abuse has, in the past, led to inadequate relations with the opposite sex. I don't mind sharing, we are all adults, but the last woman to fellate me,was absolutely upset that it took right at 45 mins to achieve some sort of emission. She asked me, "you masturbate a lot don't you" at which I replied yes. There's stamina and then there is this as if the only way I could acheive orgasm was a fantasy. Needless to say, we didn't get very far. Of course, I was in the wrong of being there in that situation and went to confession 2 days later.

I have always turned inward instead of trying to express that outwardly and hence, here we are. Again, I know the culpability has dropped but enough is enough and it affects everything. Thanks.

Marc Anthony · #6 Jul 21, '12, 8:12 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trishie

As an unmarried Catholic and as a Christian you are obliged not to have sexual relations of any kind with anyone therefore no woman should be in a position to know whether or not you perform well. To do so is fornication

The OP said he was in the wrong in being there in that situation and went to Confession two days afterward.

livingwordunity · #7 Jul 21, '12, 8:23 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by just came back

...as having a sexual addiction as a compulsive behavior with lack of impulse control. (Masturbation since I was 14 in 1989) The Catholic shrink I have been speaking to is NOT fully honed to deal with sexual addiction disorders and has considered I seek a f/t sexual addiction therapist albeit one who is practicing from a purely secular point of view.

Major problem in that this guy does NOT accept insurance and I seriously don't have the cash that this type of therapy would cost. My priest, in confession, has suggested more prayer and taking it kind of like 12 step where my main goal is to make it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Urban legend states you can kick a habit in 3 weeks of maintaining abstinence.

I am sick of masturbation and the lies of the devil that it entails. I am about to start a hard journey but I know God is with me. Thanks. Mary, Mother of God, pray for me to thy beloved son, in His name. Amen!

I struggle with the same thing, so you are not alone. I've had the addiction since I was 11 in 1981. I always knew it wasn't good for me since I never felt good about myself after doing it, and it always made me feel dirty and like I lost my dignity. But the thoughts keep returning, and I keep feeling compelled to do it. Sin really does enslave us. So keep praying, keep trying to stop, and keep going to confession when you fall. And trust in God's mercy.

tuscany · #8 Jul 22, '12, 9:47 pm

Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid those needing help, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, hug the lonely,
guide us from evil, guard the unborn,
soften the bitter, assist those who need to heal,
protect those in danger, pray for those who have died;
may all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen.

tuscany · #9 Jul 23, '12, 11:27 am

Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid those needing help, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, hug the lonely,
guide us from evil, guard the unborn,
soften the bitter, assist those who need to heal,
protect those in danger, pray for those who have died;
may all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen.

LoyalViews · #10 Jul 23, '12, 12:51 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by just came back

I do realize that, but prolonged abuse has, in the past, led to inadequate relations with the opposite sex. I don't mind sharing, we are all adults, but the last woman to fellate me,was absolutely upset that it took right at 45 mins to achieve some sort of emission. She asked me, "you masturbate a lot don't you" at which I replied yes. There's stamina and then there is this as if the only way I could acheive orgasm was a fantasy. Needless to say, we didn't get very far. Of course, I was in the wrong of being there in that situation and went to confession 2 days later.

I have always turned inward instead of trying to express that outwardly and hence, here we are. Again, I know the culpability has dropped but enough is enough and it affects everything. Thanks.

Forgive me of my ignorance! I'm praying for you!

Catholic80 · #11 Jul 23, '12, 7:22 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by just came back

. My priest, in confession, has suggested more prayer and taking it kind of like 12 step where my main goal is to make it ONE DAY AT A TIME.

I agree. And don't beat yourself up if you fail, either. Addiction is hard to overcome. But Christ is with you in your struggle.

Quote:

Urban legend states you can kick a habit in 3 weeks of maintaining abstinence

Hence, why it is an urban legend. Furthermore, a habit is not the same as an addiction. People suffering from the "habit" and/or addiction of masturbation can struggle for years before being able to stop completely.

Don't give up hope! Distract yourself with healthy activities when you can. Become socially active and exercise regularly if possible. And confess regularly - weekly if possible. It might help to have a spiritual director or regular confessor.

tuscany · #12 Jul 24, '12, 10:53 am

Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid those needing help, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, hug the lonely,
guide us from evil, guard the unborn,
soften the bitter, assist those who need to heal,
protect those in danger, pray for those who have died;
may all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen.

hannajomar · #13 Jul 24, '12, 3:05 pm

Does your insurance pay for you to see the secular therapist? I'm not quite sure from your post. If it does, I would recommend seeing a secular therapist if that's what you can afford. You can leave if you feel he is trying to push you away from your faith.

If you can't afford a professional therapist, many communities have self-help groups, similar to alcoholics anonymous. In my area there are sexaholics anonymous groups. You might want to look into that at as a cheaper alternative. A group which might offer some resources for you is The King's Men. http://www.thekingsmen.us/ Look to see if they have meetings in your area. Even if they don't, they might be able to provide some useful resources for you.

I pray the best for you.

buzzoff1031 · #14 Jul 24, '12, 10:12 pm

Brother I am truly praying for you. I have all but destroyed my marriage because of this. My wife seems to hate me and herself (though she still stays with me, so there must be love there). My wife doesn't have a faith in God, so this really tears her up, since she has no one to pray to concerning my behavior. She has gained weight and is angry all the time. Now, obviously, this is due to depression. But, since I have been married to her for 12 years, and have had this problem the whole time, I wonder if most (if not all) of this is attributable to my behavior. I'm not even sure either of us is attraced to the other anymore. With God's grace, we'll get back to a loving, caring relationship, but it's awfully difficult. I say all this as a warning of sorts. I'm praying for you brother. I beg the same of you.

tuscany · #15 Jul 25, '12, 9:59 am

Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Aid the helpless, strengthen the fearful,
hold the sorrowful, help those sick, in pain or suffering,
comfort those needing peace, hug the lonely,
guide us from evil, guard the unborn,
protect those in danger, pray for those who have died;
may all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen.