Where does a young, faithful Catholic guy meet faithful catholic girls? - Page 3

feed me · #31 Jul 24, '12, 7:33 am

What are these websites again?

JeraldW · #32 Jul 24, '12, 7:59 am

FWIW I met my girlfriend at a Catholic young adult retreat.

.

Meeting former postulants at the steps of the monastery made me LOL.

Desperate, but might work.

Frequent a Catholic bookstore, and when you see an attractive ring-less young lady, pull out a copy of Fulton J Sheens "three to get married", and ask her if she would like to dicern with you to be part of this threesome.

Another thing I had thought of in my single days was to get a job at a steel mill on the Ohio river, and -convieniently- hang out on Stuebenville's campus on my days off... ......

I visited the campus when one of my friends entered into it, man, a single guy who feels called to marriage has it MADE there. Or any other good orthodox Catholic college.

Carrying around a cute puppy at said locations, like one said, would only augument these situations.

smak_84 · #33 Jul 24, '12, 10:44 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Typist

I realize this is still an online idea, but it's the best I've got.

You're already doing it. Right here in this thread. Just scale it up.

Start a website/forum dedicated to bringing young Catholic men and women together in a supportive environment. Aim it at your geographic region.

Lots of people must have the same problem you do. Be the guy who helps solve their problem. Be a leader, and put yourself in the middle of the solution.

If you work hard at helping everybody else with this same challenge, you won't have to find a good Catholic girl, she'll find you.

Good luck!

Typist has hit the nail on the head. You're going to have to think outside of the box on this one, and you're going to have to put a few miles on your car in the process.

This problem is an epidemic in parish life. Most rural-area parishes completely drop the ball on this one. When family life was more tight -knit, and parishes still had fun events happening, this wasn't as much of a problem. Nowadays, you're going to have to do some work.

For young 20-somethings, you're going to have to build something - a young adult group, and you may have to start from scratch (yes, you will have to use "young adult" or something like that, so people can actually find it in a Google search).

Go out, make some Catholic friends, and start to build a core group of people from 18-35ish. Find somebody to setup an accessible website, a Facebook page, or something so you can keep people posted of what events you have coming up.

Use movie nights, game nights, campfires, bible studies, etc. (fun, social, non-class-like things until your group gets some serious movement going). Also, see if there's any place that this group can call "home" (somebody's basement, part of a parish hall, an old store-front), and get a TV and a few tables and chairs and some couches, and then advertise it in all of the parishes with a 1 hour radius of where you are (if you're living in a rural area, you guys should be used to a 45 min trip to pretty much anywhere). Find somebody who's also got their wits about them with religion knowledge, so when questions are inevitably asked, they can be answered - priests may not be able to do this, as they are usually busy people.

I hope this helps.

There is a need here - build it, and they will come.

smak_84 · #34 Jul 24, '12, 10:46 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by benjammin

What's keeping me here honestly is the fact I have no money, and as of yet no job. Even if I get one, unless it's really far away I will probably commute since I still live with my mother. Thats another issue altogether. I still live at home and its not a great faith environment. My mother is a catholic convert who never really went over to the catholic way of thinking (she's spiritual but religious and still sees herself as an ELCA lutheran), and even though she's fairly supportive (she loved that I was a part of the Newman Center, but when I suggest being a focus missionary or something like that she always brings up how would I make money
and things like that. She would be supportive of me getting my masters, but I want one in history and geography and I don't know if a place like Benedictine in Atchison KS would have that. I also don't think TLM would be a great idea (at least regularly) just because I go to mass here in my parish and fortunately my diocese is the most orthodox in the country so the parishes are all in line. Anyway though there seem to be a lot of obstacles, and those are just the beginning

In the end, it's not your mom's life. You may have to be brave enough to make a few mistakes in the course of growing.

SeekNFind · #35 Jul 24, '12, 11:32 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by feed me

What are these websites again?

The dating websites? Ave Maria Singles and Catholic Match.

benjammin · #36 Jul 28, '12, 7:41 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by smak_84

Typist has hit the nail on the head. You're going to have to think outside of the box on this one, and you're going to have to put a few miles on your car in the process.

This problem is an epidemic in parish life. Most rural-area parishes completely drop the ball on this one. When family life was more tight -knit, and parishes still had fun events happening, this wasn't as much of a problem. Nowadays, you're going to have to do some work.

For young 20-somethings, you're going to have to build something - a young adult group, and you may have to start from scratch (yes, you will have to use "young adult" or something like that, so people can actually find it in a Google search).

Go out, make some Catholic friends, and start to build a core group of people from 18-35ish. Find somebody to setup an accessible website, a Facebook page, or something so you can keep people posted of what events you have coming up.

Use movie nights, game nights, campfires, bible studies, etc. (fun, social, non-class-like things until your group gets some serious movement going). Also, see if there's any place that this group can call "home" (somebody's basement, part of a parish hall, an old store-front), and get a TV and a few tables and chairs and some couches, and then advertise it in all of the parishes with a 1 hour radius of where you are (if you're living in a rural area, you guys should be used to a 45 min trip to pretty much anywhere). Find somebody who's also got their wits about them with religion knowledge, so when questions are inevitably asked, they can be answered - priests may not be able to do this, as they are usually busy people.

I hope this helps.

There is a need here - build it, and they will come.

This does help, its just getting it off the ground. Also, I don't know how I would get to meet Catholic people in another city, since they probably have groups already (though I can't seem to find them. My diocese does a terrible job of advertising events like this. Even in my catholic high school we didn't here of events like Stuebenville conferences and when they would have TEC retreats, no one from our area came.) Anyway, I agree the internet is good, but most of my catholic friends live far away (since I went to school about 2 hours from my home and most of them live even farther away). Some good news though is I found out that there is a nearby theology on tap at a large university. My only problem is i'm not a student anymore and I don't want to be that creepy guy who goes even though he isn't a student. Unfortunately, it only operates in fall, but it might work.

poirot · #37 Jul 29, '12, 6:58 pm

You'll probably find her doing her thanksgiving prayer after Mass. In my parish, I started noticing this guy (I think my age) doing his thanksgiving prayer. It's just recently that he started doing this. Nothing impresses me more than a guy doing his thanksgiving prayer. Unfortunately, he doesn't know I exist. Hope you find someone in your church.

jeannetherese · #38 Jul 29, '12, 8:27 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by benjammin

This does help, its just getting it off the ground. Also, I don't know how I would get to meet Catholic people in another city, since they probably have groups already (though I can't seem to find them. My diocese does a terrible job of advertising events like this. Even in my catholic high school we didn't here of events like Stuebenville conferences and when they would have TEC retreats, no one from our area came.) Anyway, I agree the internet is good, but most of my catholic friends live far away (since I went to school about 2 hours from my home and most of them live even farther away). Some good news though is I found out that there is a nearby theology on tap at a large university. My only problem is i'm not a student anymore and I don't want to be that creepy guy who goes even though he isn't a student. Unfortunately, it only operates in fall, but it might work.

There are also jobs at large universities-maintenance, plumbing cafeteria work, janitorial work , security work, and full time employment oftentimes give s you FREE or very low cost tuition. You might want to start visiting their job boards online regularly if the school is within commuting distance. What a great opportunity. (thanks to theresadeavila for getting this line of thinking off the ground

)
I have participated in college reading/discussion groups while not attending school. I just asked permission to join and did all the reading. You'll fit right in and some members will be extra grateful that someone did all of the reading and asked a helpful question or was able to share an idea about a question they asked. I hope you try it out.

Deo Gratias42 · #39 Jul 29, '12, 10:37 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by poirot

You'll probably find her doing her thanksgiving prayer after Mass. In my parish, I started noticing this guy (I think my age) doing his thanksgiving prayer. It's just recently that he started doing this. Nothing impresses me more than a guy doing his thanksgiving prayer. Unfortunately, he doesn't know I exist. Hope you find someone in your church.

I had a similar experience like this on Saturday night while I was Confession doing my thanksgiving prayers and additional prayers for some priests. I had never seen him there before, but I caught him looking over at me, so I looked at him. There was a moment there.

I often wonder how that would go over in marriage prep. Meeting your spouse at Confession. I could see going to Confession become more popular.

SeekNFind · #40 Jul 30, '12, 12:00 am

What is thanksgiving prayer after mass? Is it just praying more prayers or is it an official prayer?

Deo Gratias42 · #41 Jul 30, '12, 5:37 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeekNFind

What is thanksgiving prayer after mass? Is it just praying more prayers or is it an official prayer?

It's basically thanking God for the opportunity to do/receive, etc whatever you just did. I use the prayers out of my prayer book. Our priest reprimanded us yesterday for not taking the time to make a proper thanksgiving after Mass.

SeekNFind · #42 Jul 30, '12, 6:56 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deo Gratias42

It's basically thanking God for the opportunity to do/receive, etc whatever you just did. I use the prayers out of my prayer book. Our priest reprimanded us yesterday for not taking the time to make a proper thanksgiving after Mass.

OK, thanks for explaining.

In May, I honored Mary by saying a Hail Mary in front of her statue after Mass. However, I didn't know this could/should be a regular thing. I will make a more conscious effort to do a thanksgiving prayer to God after Mass.

poirot · #43 Jul 30, '12, 8:31 am

Deo Gratias42-Wow, you had a moment. See, I would hardly ever have the opportunity to notice anyone in the confessional line since I usually confess to Opus Dei priest. Men and women go to separate centers. Maybe he noticed you doing your prayer as well. In my mind, I would like think that a single man doing his thanksgiving prayer is praying for his future wife.

SeekNFind-Thanksgiving prayer is when you stay 10-15 mins after Mass to give thanks to our Lord. As Deo Gratias42 explained, sometimes it helps if you have a prayer book. In mine, there's the Anima Christi and the prayer of St. Thomas Aquinas. I also like to pray the litany to St. Joseph (you know for my future husband) =)

sllhouette · #44 Jul 30, '12, 1:02 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by benjammin

I'm asking because i'm in somewhat of a tough situation. I live in a rural area where there aren't many people my age in general, and most people (women included) who are my age aren't living the best lives and their aren't really groups for men my age. So what's a good place to meet Catholic women? The nearest large city is about an hour away, but haven't' found anything like a theology on tap or young persons catholic group, at least that's active. I also don't want to use online dating. I used match for a while and did meet some interesting people, but even if i used a Catholic site, i don't think it would be good. So are their any suggestions?

Put yourself in different situations until you find a GROUP of people that are faithful. Go explore different masses. Ask around. Don't look just for a girl, but for a community of people your age.

TheCartoonist · #45 Jul 31, '12, 5:36 pm

I've been thinking of letting some of the elderly people in the parish know that I'm interested in finding someone, tell them to keep their eye out for me and see if they have anyone who miht be interested. Even if you don't speak to them, if you've seen them at Mass for a few years they tend to feel like they know you.

Put an ad in the bulletin!