what to do if problems arise in discernment

john78 · #1 Jul 29, '12, 7:51 pm

I was curious if one is working with a vocations director and he is uncomfortable with that person for what ever reason, can he request a new one ?

I suspect the answer is no,

if that is the case.... how can one properly discern being uncomfortable with the vocations director ?

and shouldn't one be comfortable with ones vocational director, of course one has to ask well why are you uncomfortable,

i would merely say that if one were dating a person most do not continue dating a person when they are uncomfortable with that person, hoping things get better down the road.

and one can say well, you need to concentrate on what your V.D has to offer and is trying to teach....

but if there is no trust, and one is uncomfortable with that person... how does the person discerning continue ?

also what other problems has anyone else here faced in discernment that they may have not expected.

perhaps a woman in your life starts showing interest in you once your announcement becomes public, or a family member does not approve, how did you handle if at all... how did it effect your discernment if at all.

I would hope others would share, as there might be others facing the same thing and could use some insight.

john78 · #2 Jul 29, '12, 7:59 pm

good grief 11 views in less than a minute, dont be afraid to leave a response people, i dont bite.

john78 · #3 Jul 29, '12, 8:15 pm

or

maybe someone here has faced a problem in discernment that in the end made them feel they were not being called to a religious vocation ?

jeannetherese · #4 Jul 29, '12, 10:15 pm

You might consider beginning by discerning the cause of the discomfort. If it is something specific about the director and you do not feel safe as you work with this person then you may wish to take a break and think about what is not working and how to continue in your discernment process.
If it is not the individual, might this be a good time tp consider slowing the pace of discernment, reconsidering vocation, taking additional time to speak to people from other orders, discussing your concerns further with trusted priests and advisers and increasing your prayer time?
It is difficult to determine how best to help you with your question as information is limited.
May God bless you as you confront the challenges you are facing. Amen.

sllhouette · #5 Aug 1, '12, 9:07 am

First you need to understand exactly what it is that makes you uncomfortable.

Why is there no trust?

Is this the vocations director for your diocese?

Where are you in your discernment?

How old are you?

You can find a spiritual director outside of the vocations director.

john78 · #6 Aug 1, '12, 6:02 pm

I am kind of surprised no one has had any problems while in discernment, I understand where my issues are at, and am addressing them, I was holding back from specifics with the V.D I have met, because the lack of trust i have in him is vague and rather debateable .

an i am starting to understand how priests are still human and still make mistakes, so i cant say i completely distrust this person based on things that make me uncomfortable but deals nothing with sin, or breaking any laws .

I have met a great group of men in my short month of discernment, and felt comfortable around all of them, some were young some around the same age as me, some older, but their actions did not cause me any moments of being uncomfortable.

but this V.D has, and so i start questioning myself, I would rather chalk up the reasons i have felt uncomfortable around him to just normal human mistakes that people make, and give him the benefit of the doubt of being trust worthy.

I would rather not air it all out here so if anyone is foaming with curiosity feel free to send me a private message.

my question though was pertaining to anyone who might have had or are having problems in discernment, and what they are doing about it, or what they did about it.

now why would anyone want to acknowledge that ?

no real reason i suppose, other than for personal growth and to help others. what ever that is worth.

So I guess if one has a level of distrust or feeling uncomfortable with a vocations director for their respective diocese there is no option of finding a new one, and the only option is to I guess rely on God to help everyone have a successful discernment.

Two things i have learned in Discernment, Needing more patience than I already have, and learning to really trust God.

bobballen_18 · #7 Aug 1, '12, 7:31 pm

You have been given some good advice. Follow it, and also, remember: if it is God's will that you enter seminary now, and through this VD, then it will happen!

I can kinda sorta relate to this, and although it's not really because of a lack of trust of my VD, this is what I firmly believe.

You're in my prayers!

john78 · #8 Aug 1, '12, 8:16 pm

I have deff gotten some good advise from people here , my vocations director , and my spiritual director and the men i have met this summer who are attending a seminary,

i am absorbing it all, and i hope to learn from it as well, and i have been...

i am finding out for me the answers are not as quick as i would like it to be nor as clear as i would hope they would be.