Leaving the church

malik1982 · #1 Aug 2, '12, 5:55 pm

How does one formally leave the church? The easiest way is to stop going for mass, but it needs to be documented with the church. Please help.
Thanks.

Oneofthewomen · #2 Aug 2, '12, 6:13 pm

There is no "formal" way to leave the Church.
One baptised, always Catholic.
I strongly suggest you talk to a trusted priest/deacon/religious before you make such a decision.

You will be in my prayers!

Godfollower · #3 Aug 2, '12, 6:20 pm

There had been the possibility under the Code of Canon Law promulgated in 1983 to commit a formal act of defection from the Church. But that turned out to cause lots of problems -- not only for the Church, but also for the defecting people themselves. So the Church has revoked those provisions in canon law, and there really isn't any such thing any more.

But not to worry: when the end comes, if the atheists are right it won't matter because there won't be anything after death; if the non-Catholics are right it won't matter because they don't care where you were so long as you're where they want you to be; and if the Catholics are right it won't matter because it isn't "formal membership" that affects salvation.

I pray for you, that your journey in this world will be easy and result in ultimate salvation.

YoungTradCath · #4 Aug 2, '12, 6:29 pm

This is impossible.

malik1982 · #5 Aug 2, '12, 7:03 pm

ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I've left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.

Godfollower · #6 Aug 2, '12, 7:05 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by malik1982

ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I've left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.

I am very sorry to hear this, and I'm sorry for all that has happened to you. You will be in my prayers.

If you can't bring yourself to come to Mass, I am very sad for you; but I understand where you're coming from. I don't recommend trying to go the excommunication route, because that involves deliberate wrongful actions.

May I ask what you did to join the Church? Baptism, confirmation, etc.? Or did you simply register and start attending?

**po18guy** · #7 Aug 2, '12, 7:10 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by malik1982

ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I've left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.

If you joined under duress, you may not be Catholic. Speak with a Priest, or your diocese's tribunal office.

Yet, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Sounds like you would quit whatever faith community he belongs to. The only reason to either become or remain Catholic is because of one's love of Jesus Christ and their conviction that He is truly present in the Holy Eucharist.

SaintPatrick333 · #8 Aug 2, '12, 7:11 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by malik1982

ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I've left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.

You were going to Mass for the wrong reason miss. You go to Mass for Christ, not for anyone else. I am truly sorry to hear about your relationship. In this time when you need Christ close at hand, you can not possibly get closer to Him than in the Catholic Church. Please talk to a Priest about this before leaving. Christ made this Church for you (for all of us). He calls us to "this" Church to receive Him in communion. You will never be able to have as close a relationship with Christ in any of the man made denominations out there. Please miss, learn about the True faith before you cast it off. You will find great peace here if you look at the Mass for what it "is" and not for what you thought it "was".

Iron Donkey · #9 Aug 2, '12, 7:12 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by malik1982

ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I've left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.

Probably just talk to a priest. There is no need to try to get yourself excommunicated or whatever - even then if you validly joined up (which may not have actually happened if you were forced into it, which is why I recommend talking to a priest), we'd still consider you Catholic if you were excommunicated.

If you really and truly don't believe Catholicism, then just stop coming. If you're right, then the fact that we (might) still think of you as Catholic is meaningless because Catholicism is meaningless. However, I urge you not to let bad experiences keep you away from the Church - make sure that in the end your decision rests upon and only upon whether or not you think the Catholic Church was founded by Christ.

Allegra · #10 Aug 2, '12, 7:13 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by malik1982

ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated. I only joined while in an abusive relationship, I was controlled and he said he wouldnt marry me unless I joined his church. I've left him months prior to the scheduled wedding and going for mass only brings bad memories to me and I have not grown spiritually. I am a Christian and believe in God, but honestly this church isnt for me.

If you are Baptised, there is a permenant, indelible mark on your soul. There isn't really anything you can do to remove it. If you have absolutely decided to join another church, than that is all you can do. Just start attending the other church. If at a later time, you decide that the other denomination isn't what you need, then you always have a spiritual home in the Catholic Church. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with your former fiance. I hope you find a good man who will treat you properly and you are able to move on with your life.

ConstantineTG · #11 Aug 2, '12, 7:21 pm

Why the formality? If you want to go, then go.

UpUpAndAway · #12 Aug 2, '12, 7:22 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by malik1982

ok, so what can i do to get excommunicated.

It's my understanding that excommunication is a censure and not a banishment, so even this would not relieve you of your obligations as a Catholic, such as Sunday Mass attendance. It would, however, deprive you of the sacraments.

Catholic Encyclopedia: Excommunication

I, too, am sorry for what you have been through, and I will remember you in my daily prayers. I agree with the suggestion that you should speak to a priest, deacon or religious (I would favor the priest, but that's just who I am) before making a definite decision on this. I mean, what do you have to lose? If, after such a conversation, you still want to leave, you may still exercise your free will and do so. The priest/deacon/religious cannot stop you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iron Donkey

I urge you not to let bad experiences keep you away from the Church - make sure that in the end your decision rests upon and only upon whether or not you think the Catholic Church was founded by Christ.

This.

Ysara · #13 Aug 2, '12, 7:24 pm

I am saddened to hear how you got introduced to the Catholic Faith...But i understand what you are saying and will keep you in my prayers

Arturo Ortiz · #14 Aug 2, '12, 7:49 pm

I get where you are coming from and my prayers are for you.

I appreciate that you love God and love Christ and thus my reccomendation for you is to go to mass and give the church a chance before you decide to leave. I don't know if you ever went to Mass often, or if you got to learn about the faith.

If you didn't learn or know a lot of the faith then I reccomend you to learn the faith before deciding to leave.

If you did learn about the faith and have tried going to mass, then if you really feel like you can't be part of the church then this is a personal decision and I get it.

I hope that if you do leave the church then please try to learn a bit more about the church and try to understand it.

Hope you find your way

God Bless

**po18guy** · #15 Aug 2, '12, 8:18 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by ConstantineTG

Why the formality? If you want to go, then go.

A coerced conversion in the course of a bad relationship is no reason to walk away from Christ, is it? Rather, I think it is more reason to seek Christ in His fulness.