Catholic FAQ


Latest Threads
newest posts



Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Catholic Living > Family Life
 

Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums, the largest Catholic Community on the Web.

Here you can join over 400,000 members from around the world discussing all things Catholic. Membership is open to all, Catholic and non-Catholic alike, who seek the Truth with Charity.

To gain full access, you must register for a FREE account. Registered members are able to:
  • Submit questions about the faith to experts from Catholic Answers
  • Participate in all forum discussions
  • Communicate privately with Catholics from around the world
  • Plus join a prayer group, read with the Book Club, and much more.
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. So join our community today!

Have a question about registration or your account log-in? Just contact our Support Hotline.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search Thread Display
  #31  
Old Sep 14, '12, 10:06 am
fpt fpt is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: November 6, 2010
Posts: 2,020
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LucyLight View Post
I don't have a catechism in front of me, so my question is does the catechism just address men having orgasm outside of intercourse? My second question is, if a couple was "making out" during a time of abstinence, do to NFP, and the wife had an orgasm is this thought to be less sinful?

I know the second question wouldn't be addressed in the catechism, so I'm wondering if any Catholic authors, apologists, theologians have written about that? Thanks



Before all, you need to give the definition of "making out" in couple, because the meanings are multiple http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Making_out. In your thought, what is it?
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old Sep 14, '12, 10:38 am
fpt fpt is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: November 6, 2010
Posts: 2,020
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

What is the physical tenderness that is moral during sexual abstinence within the couple?


For me, the couple has to find his " creative abstinence " with his physical tenderness without orgasm. The only rule is to avoid the orgasm. The fact of being very affectionate does not mean the orgasm, what is so different. "Sexually exciting = or arousal = Sexually exciting = arousal = orgasm", I do not think so. When I say very affectionate, I do not mean the climax.

How to define the good use of the prudence and the common sense on this topic without scrupulism..etc.?

In this situation: what is the near occasion of sin?; what are the constitutive elements of the near occasion of sin?; how do you evaluate the risk of this conjugal sin?
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old Sep 14, '12, 11:10 am
tafan tafan is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: January 15, 2010
Posts: 2,632
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnaTurin View Post
"Be like brother and sister"??


That's kind of creepy. Sorry, but it is.

I think that advice only applies to people who are in an invalid "marriage" and therefor not legitimately married.


Am I the only one out there that feels like Catholics are becoming sexual Pharisees? Are we so fixated on following "the rules" to such an extent that we have made sex into some mechanical operation? I'm not in any way suggesting that anyone break any rules of the Church. I just don't know why the Catholic conversation about sex has become something that is obsessed with legalism.

I can't answer the OP's question of whether it is "technically" wrong or not, but I will say that his selfless desire to please his wife seems like a beautiful thing to me
I think most people would find the following link instructive and it would answer a LOT of these questions:

http://twotlj.org/G-2-9-E.html

It is a from a good online book on Catholic Moral theology and has both a Nihil Obstat and a Imprimatur. The home page is http://twotlj.org/index.html

As to this "brother and sister" stuff during periods of abstinence, that is wrong. Married couples do not have to behave like brothers and sister. On the first page I linked scoll down about a little ways to section h under section 1. "h) Marital sexual acts short of intercourse can be chaste" and read that. It is quite clear and precise.

All of section 1 is worthwhile reading for many questions that come up on this forum
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old Oct 16, '12, 4:27 pm
Shine67 Shine67 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: April 20, 2011
Posts: 7
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ATeutonicKnight View Post
Is masturbating your spouse okay outside of the sexual act: All sexual acts such as this must lead up to the sexual act. You cannot simply stimulate your spouse orally or with your hand, have the spouse orgasm, and then stop for the night (Note: It is okay for women to orgasm outside of the sexual act because it is not necessary for procreation, but you CANNOT do this if you do not plan to have sexual intercourse. It must occur before, during or after the sexual act. The reason it may happen after the sexual act is because sometimes men ejaculate before women reach orgasm, in which it is okay to stimulate your wife to orgasm using your hand or mouth, if I am not mistaken.). It is okay to have oral sex and stimulate each other with your hand, but for the male you cannot orgasm intentionally outside of the sexual act. It must happen during the sexual act, and if you intentionally do not do so it is a grave sin.
I think I'm with you one this. In the past few months my wife's sex drive has shot up and if it were up to her, we'd have sex every day. While I am doing my best to satisfy her I find I can only orgasm every 2nd or 3rd day, unlike 20 years ago when we were first married. At first she was a little perturbed by this ("is there something wrong with me?") however as I am able to perform well enough to give her an orgasm everyday, she's pretty happy.

A couple of times, however, I've gone flaccid before she orgasmed but I was able to satisfy her manually.

I have assumed that all this has been okay as each time we started both fully wanting to complete the sex act and have whenever possible (believe me when I say this is want I want to do
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old Oct 19, '12, 9:03 am
sainthumbert sainthumbert is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: August 21, 2009
Posts: 149
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shine67 View Post
I think I'm with you one this. In the past few months my wife's sex drive has shot up and if it were up to her, we'd have sex every day. While I am doing my best to satisfy her I find I can only orgasm every 2nd or 3rd day, unlike 20 years ago when we were first married. At first she was a little perturbed by this ("is there something wrong with me?") however as I am able to perform well enough to give her an orgasm everyday, she's pretty happy.
Oh you lucky dog! May I ask how old you are?
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old Feb 15, '13, 10:14 am
Shine67 Shine67 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: April 20, 2011
Posts: 7
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sainthumbert View Post
Oh you lucky dog! May I ask how old you are?
sorry for not answering immediately - mid 40's so I think it's the pre-menopausal thing happening.
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old Jun 25, '13, 7:23 am
coda coda is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: January 28, 2008
Posts: 272
Religion: catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

How about if stimulation happens short of intercourse during a period of abstinence. Does [heavy ]stimulation count as foreplay if it happens days before eventual intercourse?
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old Jun 25, '13, 7:49 am
TheRealJuliane TheRealJuliane is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: October 11, 2010
Posts: 19,026
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by coda View Post
How about if stimulation happens short of intercourse during a period of abstinence. Does [heavy ]stimulation count as foreplay if it happens days before eventual intercourse?
No, that's a separate act and is sinful. Abstinence means abstaining from sexual acts. Sexual acts between a husband and wife must be procreative and unitive.

Please ask a new question and don't bring an old thread to life.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old Jun 25, '13, 8:07 am
coda coda is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: January 28, 2008
Posts: 272
Religion: catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Pardon me, but I did ask a new question in the moral theology forum. Someone thought it appropriate to delete the question and replies which followed..Sorry to have disturbed your board surfing.

P.S. the moderators might want to delete inactive threads so as to preclude" bringing old threds to life"..
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old Jun 25, '13, 8:32 am
TheRealJuliane TheRealJuliane is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: October 11, 2010
Posts: 19,026
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by coda View Post
Pardon me, but I did ask a new question in the moral theology forum. Someone thought it appropriate to delete the question and replies which followed..Sorry to have disturbed your board surfing.

P.S. the moderators might want to delete inactive threads so as to preclude" bringing old threds to life"..
The mods can't delete all the old threads, it would take all of their time. You might want to contact the moderator of that forum to find out why your thread was deleted instead of finding a new forum to post it in.

You didn't disturb me in the least and I hope you found the answer to your question. Foreplay is fine but as a separate act, it is sinful. I
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Old Jun 25, '13, 8:54 am
coda coda is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: January 28, 2008
Posts: 272
Religion: catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

As for my post script, I was being facetious.

According to my priest, others on this forum and Fr. Heribert Jone in his compendium on moral theology, these acts would NOT be sinful. It is specifically and directly answered in section #753 ''Apart from the marriage act which the couple cannot or do not wish to perform:
a]" Mutual acts that are sexually stimulating are lawful when done with just cause[e.g. as a sign of affection]"

I was looking for help finding the truth and instead got personal opinion as a replies.
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old Jun 25, '13, 9:06 am
TheRealJuliane TheRealJuliane is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: October 11, 2010
Posts: 19,026
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by coda View Post
As for my post script, I was being facetious.

According to my priest, others on this forum and Fr. Heribert Jone in his compendium on moral theology, these acts would NOT be sinful. It is specifically and directly answered in section #753 ''Apart from the marriage act which the couple cannot or do not wish to perform:
a]" Mutual acts that are sexually stimulating are lawful when done with just cause[e.g. as a sign of affection]"

I was looking for help finding the truth and instead got personal opinion as a replies.
And now we see why your other thread was deleted. You are looking for a way *around* the Church's teachings on sex.

CCC.2363 The spouses' union achieves the twofold end of marriage: the good of the spouses themselves and the transmission of life. These two meanings or values of marriage cannot be separated without altering the couple's spiritual life and compromising the goods of marriage and the future of the family.
The conjugal love of man and woman thus stands under the twofold obligation of fidelity and fecundity.

Priests' opinions are fallible. We are to follow the teachings of God through our Church. What is Section 753? That's not in the Catechism.

So opinions of others are fine if they agree with you, but if it is restatement of the CHURCH'S rules, that's not OK.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old Jun 25, '13, 9:29 am
ahs's Avatar
ahs ahs is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: July 13, 2011
Posts: 2,885
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by coda View Post
As for my post script, I was being facetious.

According to my priest, others on this forum and Fr. Heribert Jone in his compendium on moral theology, these acts would NOT be sinful. It is specifically and directly answered in section #753 ''Apart from the marriage act which the couple cannot or do not wish to perform:
a]" Mutual acts that are sexually stimulating are lawful when done with just cause[e.g. as a sign of affection]"

I was looking for help finding the truth and instead got personal opinion as a replies.
I'm hoping that more from Jone can be posted to get a better idea of his context. I have a feeling that he is referring to such things as what we might call "petting", or "making out". I have asked another member (who has provided a Catholic source in the past) to help me provide a good/referenced answer for this...my understanding is that once a couple engages in penetration, then a marital act has commenced and must be completed.
__________________

Husband to my wonderful "mrs ahs" and daddy to 4 beauties
Visit my blog: "A Humble Servant's Catholic Blog"
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old Jun 25, '13, 9:36 am
coda coda is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: January 28, 2008
Posts: 272
Religion: catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

I am not looking for a way around Church teaching ..In fact the catechism2363 DOES NOT RELATE SPECIFICALLY TO MY QUESTION . However, Fr.Heribert Jone's book Moral Theology[ which was used in seminaries for priestly catechesis] DOES in SECTION #753 which I have cited for you.. Please see above for exact verbiage..

BTW the moderators do not remove posts for" looking for a way around Church teaching".Fr. Jone's Moral Theology has an Nihil Obstat and a Imprimatur. I'm quite sure you know what these are..
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old Jun 25, '13, 9:40 am
coda coda is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: January 28, 2008
Posts: 272
Religion: catholic
Default Re: Is it wrong for a man to masturbate his wife, within marriage?

Ahs-- thanks for the reply.

I'm not referring to penetration..rather manual/oral stimulation during a period of abstinence NOT resulting in climax by either married party.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Catholic Living > Family Life

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search Thread
Search Thread:

Advanced Search
Display

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Prayer Intentions

Most Active Groups
8257Meet and talk,talk talk
Last by: GLam8833
5018CAF Prayer Warriors Support Group
Last by: UpUpAndAway
4345Devotion to the Sorrowful Mother
Last by: lsbar
4029OCD/Scrupulosity Group
Last by: B79
3834SOLITUDE
Last by: tuscany
3570Let's empty Purgatory
Last by: RJB
3230Poems and Reflections
Last by: tonyg
3203Catholic Vegetarians & Vegans
Last by: memphian
3130Petitions Before the Blessed Sacrament
Last by: Amiciel
3048For seniors and shut- ins
Last by: tammany



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 8:10 am.

Home RSS Feeds - Home - Archive - Top

Copyright © 2004-2014, Catholic Answers.