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  #1  
Old Aug 26, '12, 2:36 pm
RHC RHC is offline
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Default Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

So, my 7-year-old is very curious. He notices EVERYTHING. And I'm pregnant, so there were natural questions about where babies come from. I was so shocked that I was almost speechless...and mumbled something about God sending them to married people who love each other very much....but I could tell he knew I wasn't telling him a lot.

He and our daughter, 4 (almost 5), have noticed that boys and girls are different. And there's a lot of curiosity and even a desire to see the differences... YIKES.

So...neither DH nor I had a good experience when we were kids with being taught about sexuality. We do not want to repeat that with our children. I want to give them a healthy view of their sexuality, as designed by God. I don't want them to feel ashamed, as I did. I want them to grow into an understanding of why God's plan for sexuality and its expression in the bounds of holy matrimony is best and most fulfilling.

Does anyone have a suggestion for good books to read on how to approach this? I am looking for either books I can read with my kids at the appropriate stages, or books for DH and me on how to address this.
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  #2  
Old Aug 26, '12, 3:16 pm
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Love is Love is is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

if you haven't yet, check out theology of the body by Christopher West......And then go from there
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  #3  
Old Aug 26, '12, 3:41 pm
RHC RHC is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

I have read Theology of the Body by Mr. West, although it has been a few years. It was very helpful in forming DH's and my understanding of proper sexuality. But I'm not sure how to boil it down for a 7-year-old....
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  #4  
Old Aug 26, '12, 3:42 pm
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ReachingFaith ReachingFaith is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

I feel a parent would know best of all just how to reply, how much detail, etc. But I wasn't told anything, nor did I wonder, until I was 12! I guess I'm not real sharp.
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  #5  
Old Aug 26, '12, 5:21 pm
paperclip paperclip is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

My mother was very matter-of-fact about these things- one thing she always did was ask 'Well, what do YOU think happens?' and judged by our answers how much she thought we knew already/what level of detail was appropriate. Besides that, when I was about 10, she explained things in a rather biological, textbookish kind of way (including diagrams), making sure to mention first that these were things that you did 'after you get married'.


I think she handled it excellently and will do the same to my own children.
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  #6  
Old Aug 26, '12, 5:50 pm
Aggies08 Aggies08 is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

Similar to the PP...

At 7, I'd ask him what he thinks, and clarify/correct any misconceptions. I'd probably leave it at "When a mommy and daddy love each other, God can send them a baby, etc. We go to the hospital, and the Dr. helps take the baby out of my tummy." I teach preK, and they are usually happy with that answer.

By 10, they are ready for something a bit more explicit. My mom sat me down with one of her books that had the basic diagram of a lady (anatomy drawing, the interior bits), explained the basics of how babies grow and come out. We also looked at pictures of babies in-utero. Drawings, at that time period.

Look up any books you are interested in- read the reviews on Amazon, I always find taht helpful, too!
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  #7  
Old Aug 27, '12, 9:34 am
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Mary Gail 36 Mary Gail 36 is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

DS was about 7 . 5 when I had my last child.

He understood that babies grew in the mom, that they start with one cell being part from the father part from the mom.

He was content to think that babies result from mom amd dad loving each other very much and God sending a baby. He thought at that time that he helped by praying (could be true, I didn't think we would be able to have another)

The actual "how" he didn't know until he was about 10.
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  #8  
Old Aug 27, '12, 11:26 am
Em_in_FL Em_in_FL is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

Quote:
Originally Posted by paperclip View Post
My mother was very matter-of-fact about these things- one thing she always did was ask 'Well, what do YOU think happens?' and judged by our answers how much she thought we knew already/what level of detail was appropriate.

Ditto... always turn the question around to find out what they already know.
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  #9  
Old Aug 27, '12, 2:07 pm
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The Bucket The Bucket is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Em_in_FL View Post

Ditto... always turn the question around to find out what they already know.
Always the safest way to prevent both information overload and obfuscation that prompts them to turn elsewhere for the knowledge.
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  #10  
Old Aug 27, '12, 3:36 pm
AthenaC AthenaC is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

In answer to the question "How do I give my kids a healthy view of sexuality?" Be affectionate. Not X-rated affectionate, but lots of hugs, and lots of cuddling. The warmth in your relationship should be obvious to your kids. Don't be that cold, puritanical couple.

Also, be affectionate with your kids. Hugs and cuddling are a normal part of family life. Teach them through your actions that affection is not something to be disdained, and it is not an occasion of sin for friends to hug each other.

Healthy attitudes toward interpersonal relationships provide fertile ground for a healthy view of sexuality. Conversely, a healthy view of sexuality will NEVER hapen without healthy attitudes toward interpersonal relationships. Unfortunately, many Catholic families / parents ignore this reality and expect a healthy view of sexuality to just appear in a vacuum when all love and warmth has been sterilized out of the home.
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  #11  
Old Sep 3, '12, 4:52 am
SusanneT SusanneT is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RHC View Post
So, my 7-year-old is very curious. He notices EVERYTHING. And I'm pregnant, so there were natural questions about where babies come from. I was so shocked that I was almost speechless...and mumbled something about God sending them to married people who love each other very much....but I could tell he knew I wasn't telling him a lot.

He and our daughter, 4 (almost 5), have noticed that boys and girls are different. And there's a lot of curiosity and even a desire to see the differences... YIKES.

So...neither DH nor I had a good experience when we were kids with being taught about sexuality. We do not want to repeat that with our children. I want to give them a healthy view of their sexuality, as designed by God. I don't want them to feel ashamed, as I did. I want them to grow into an understanding of why God's plan for sexuality and its expression in the bounds of holy matrimony is best and most fulfilling.

Does anyone have a suggestion for good books to read on how to approach this? I am looking for either books I can read with my kids at the appropriate stages, or books for DH and me on how to address this.
You know I dread all this so far our 7 year old son has been bizarrely un-interested but our 4 year old daughter asks lots of " what's that for" type of questions.

I had a really repressed upbringing and got told nothing but the essential - I don't want that but I do want the moral side to start from day one and it's a difficult balance.
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  #12  
Old Sep 3, '12, 7:15 pm
TheRealJuliane TheRealJuliane is offline
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Default Re: Very curious 7-year-old...or How do I give my kids a Catholic view of sexuality?

I think many of us dread "the talk" no matter when it first happens. The key, IMO, is to have lots of little "talks," all along the way. When the subject first comes up, we all gulp and think, "Already??? I'm not ready for this!!" but then we have to answer somehow, so we say a prayer, do the best we can, and learn as we go. As long as we stress that sex is a gift given by God for a husband and a wife to enjoy, the kids will get the right take-away. Do it one conversation at a time, and approach it from where the child is, not from where you want the child to be. Ask questions simply and without a lot of detail. Just the facts, ma'am.

I would never say "the baby comes from Mommy's TUMMY." You can tell even very young children that when mommies are sent a baby, there is a special place inside for a baby to grow. I have heard of young girls who have a stomach ache believing that they have a baby in their tummy!

Hang in there, OP, and remember to pray!
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