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  #1  
Old Dec 17, '12, 8:28 pm
89ARIES 89ARIES is offline
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Default To old to marry?

Should people in their 80s really get married? How about age 44. Shouldn't the case that at a certain age, since people can't have kids, they really shouldn't get married? Or, maybe if they are willing to adopt, getting married at age 53 is okay?

Marriage 101
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  #2  
Old Dec 17, '12, 9:09 pm
bonvivantHermit bonvivantHermit is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

I think once one reaches senility, it would be easier to marry and stay married...

No such thing as too old.
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  #3  
Old Dec 17, '12, 9:11 pm
gh4 gh4 is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

Really? Too old to marry? 44?
I think that if you are free to marry then marriage at any adult age is fine. I have two friends who recently got married, he's 89 and she's 84. They had a church wedding. Both their spouses had passed, so they were both free to marry. they are thrilled and very happy to be together.
Just because someone is older doesn't mean that they don't need the love and companionship of a mate.
Please, I raised my sons and if I had remarried after I went through the change (at 42) I had absolutely no desire to raise more children.
I was widowed at 28, and so far have never gotten remarried, but if I meet someone before I die and we want to marry, I'll get married no matter what my age!
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  #4  
Old Dec 17, '12, 9:16 pm
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Luna Lovecraft Luna Lovecraft is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 89ARIES View Post
Should people in their 80s really get married? How about age 44. Shouldn't the case that at a certain age, since people can't have kids, they really shouldn't get married? Or, maybe if they are willing to adopt, getting married at age 53 is okay?

Marriage 101
I think you should deepen your understanding of the purpose of the Sacrament of Marriage. Only one aspect it is for the raising of children.
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  #5  
Old Dec 17, '12, 9:19 pm
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benjammin benjammin is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

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Originally Posted by gh4 View Post
Really? Too old to marry? 44?
I think that if you are free to marry then marriage at any adult age is fine. I have two friends who recently got married, he's 89 and she's 84. They had a church wedding. Both their spouses had passed, so they were both free to marry. they are thrilled and very happy to be together.
Just because someone is older doesn't mean that they don't need the love and companionship of a mate.
Please, I raised my sons and if I had remarried after I went through the change (at 42) I had absolutely no desire to raise more children.
I was widowed at 28, and so far have never gotten remarried, but if I meet someone before I die and we want to marry, I'll get married no matter what my age!
While I agree that any consenting adult man and woman should be able to marry no matter their age, I personally at a certain point would give up looking after about 40, maybe 45. As of right now i'm 23 and i've never had a relationship and have dated but never got a second date, and anymore I just feel that God wants me to be single. I'm not thrilled with it, but It doesn't sadden me like it used to. I'm already overweight and losing hair besides not being that interesting, so by 40 i'll be even less attractive, so I might as well just get used to it. Besides, even if I met someone, I'd be worried about birth defects. My mother and father married when she was 38 and he was 45 and had me a year later and had two more kids. I turned out okay, but my brother has Aspergers and my sister has a bunch of health problems due to my mom being on heart medication. I'd rather just not have kids at that point, and since I don't believe in birth control, i'd rather just stay single after I hit 40.
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  #6  
Old Dec 17, '12, 9:22 pm
EasterJoy EasterJoy is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

There is a minimum age for marriage, but no maximum age. Perpetual impotence to have intercourse is an impediment to marry, as is the intention to avoid conception by artificial means. The belief that one of the prospective spouses is infertile is not an impediment to marriage. How the belief prior to marriage that one may be perpetually unable to consummate the marriage is handled, I have no idea. It may be that if an older couple willing to try to consummate the marriage, then they are allowed to marry, and the marriage is presumed valid until proven otherwise. That is something to ask a priest.
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  #7  
Old Dec 17, '12, 9:25 pm
EasterJoy EasterJoy is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by benjammin View Post
While I agree that any consenting adult man and woman should be able to marry no matter their age, I personally at a certain point would give up looking after about 40, maybe 45. As of right now i'm 23 and i've never had a relationship and have dated but never got a second date, and anymore I just feel that God wants me to be single. I'm not thrilled with it, but It doesn't sadden me like it used to. I'm already overweight and losing hair besides not being that interesting, so by 40 i'll be even less attractive, so I might as well just get used to it. Besides, even if I met someone, I'd be worried about birth defects. My mother and father married when she was 38 and he was 45 and had me a year later and had two more kids. I turned out okay, but my brother has Aspergers and my sister has a bunch of health problems due to my mom being on heart medication. I'd rather just not have kids at that point, and since I don't believe in birth control, i'd rather just stay single after I hit 40.
Discerning that you personally do not wish to marry or have serious and compelling reasons to avoid marriage is different than believing that age should be included in a universal norm, though, just to clarify what you're saying. It wouldn't be good if someone were to take your sensible analysis of your own life as some commentary on what people you don't know have done.

My own current belief is that I would not seek a second marriage if I were widowed now, because I, too, am getting older. That doesn't mean I couldn't change my mind, though, if the time ever comes, or that I think it is wrong for anyone else in that situation to seek marriage.
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  #8  
Old Dec 17, '12, 9:33 pm
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benjammin benjammin is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EasterJoy View Post
Discerning that you personally do not wish to marry or have serious and compelling reasons to avoid marriage is different than believing that age should be included in a universal norm, though, just to clarify what you're saying. It wouldn't be good if someone were to take your sensible analysis of your own life as some commentary on what people you don't know have done.

My own current belief is that I would not seek a second marriage if I were widowed now, because I, too, am getting older. That doesn't mean I couldn't change my mind, though, if the time ever comes, or that I think it is wrong for anyone else in that situation to seek marriage.
I understand, i was just talking from a personal viewpoint. If other people want to get married at an older age, let them go ahead.I don't think its wrong, I just think its wrong for me.
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  #9  
Old Dec 17, '12, 9:53 pm
EasterJoy EasterJoy is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

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Originally Posted by benjammin View Post
I understand, i was just talking from a personal viewpoint. If other people want to get married at an older age, let them go ahead.I don't think its wrong, I just think its wrong for me.
Well, we ought to be ready for whatever the Lord has in store. After all, a person doesn't have to pass muster with a committee to find they have been deemed suitable marriage material. It only takes one person finding one person. I respect anyone who decides they have reasons not to marry, but OTOH I wouldn't be all the surprised if they change their mind later. It turns out that it is a day-to-day discernment, when one is free to marry. That's OK.
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  #10  
Old Dec 18, '12, 12:32 pm
fpt fpt is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 89ARIES View Post
Should people in their 80s really get married? How about age 44. Shouldn't the case that at a certain age, since people can't have kids, they really shouldn't get married? Or, maybe if they are willing to adopt, getting married at age 53 is okay?

Marriage 101



Are you teasing the members of CAF?

The conjugal love has no age, if the bride is potent and if the bridegroom is also potent. No problem and no issue.

The conjugal love and the marital act are only for one male with one female, whatever their age. Sexual act in the marriage, between 14 year old for female and 16 year old for mal until the death (see the canon law). The fact of saying the contrary is not very natural , universal and thus not very catholic.

Do you think that the marriage is only for procreation? Do you have a very old fashion view of the ends of marriage? only for making a baby!!!!

Are you against the 4 other ends of marital act?:
The fact of expressing the conjugal love;
The fact of improving the bonding of conjugal love;
The fact of avoiding the bad effect of concupiscence;
The fact of having the conjugal sexual fun.
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  #11  
Old Dec 18, '12, 12:40 pm
Jala Jala is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

People do crazier stuff every day Get married if you think it will make you happy. But my concern would be, if you're 44 or 53 or whatever age, if you aren't already happy with your life the way it is, then you will eventually be disappointed when you find that marriage is not the magic formula you're looking for.

Jala
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  #12  
Old Dec 18, '12, 1:25 pm
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Luvz2travel Luvz2travel is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

I don't thing marriage has an expiration date agewise...lol
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  #13  
Old Dec 18, '12, 2:07 pm
gh4 gh4 is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jala View Post
People do crazier stuff every day Get married if you think it will make you happy. But my concern would be, if you're 44 or 53 or whatever age, if you aren't already happy with your life the way it is, then you will eventually be disappointed when you find that marriage is not the magic formula you're looking for.

Jala
Why would I have to be unhappy with my current life to get married?
I'm very happy with my life, I have friends and work and church and lots of good things. If I met a man who I fell in love with and he fell in love with me, it would only serve to make my life even better if we decided to get married.
I just don't see marriage as anything near crazy!

Marriage and companionship is a good thing to have at any adult age.
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  #14  
Old Dec 18, '12, 2:34 pm
BlueEyedLady BlueEyedLady is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

Just so you're aware even if a 53 year old couple is willing to adopt they probably won't be given a child. The red tape surrounding adoption for a young, healthy, professional, home-owning couple is insane enough. Add 53 on to that........

I think that it is very selfish to say that an elderly person shouldn't be able to marry just because they are old. Of course its no problem for you, you're young, you have your friends and family, you can go anywhere you want at any time. But the elderly are often lonely, isolated, and without friends and family in the area. If by some miracle they meet someone who will make their remaining years enjoyable and filled with love, good for them.
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  #15  
Old Dec 18, '12, 2:39 pm
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Sarcelle Sarcelle is offline
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Default Re: To old to marry?

Personal opinions aside, the Church has not declared that couples above 44 cannot get married.
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