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  #1  
Old Feb 17, '13, 9:49 pm
Karenlmd Karenlmd is offline
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Join Date: February 17, 2013
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Unhappy Feeling hopeless, guilt, depression, God help me with anxiety. Please bless me with patience.

Im a depressed young girl with a toddler. All i need is prayers, a miracle for my daughters parents, and my anxiety. My prayers go out to poeple with worse problems than mine.but I dont know where else to go.
This is my story to those who are kind to help me out and read:

I was diagnosed with depression at age 10 and i guess ever since then i just learned to kind of cope with it.. well not really since i was a bad teen. I drank alcohol every day at school but i am proud to say my mom always prayed for me and i was eventually saved.

God saved me from losing myself and he saved me from drugs. I still though have depression/anxiety/low self esteem/guilt but am smarter than before. Im barely 20. My dad is a depressed alcoholic so i probably got that from him. (The mental issues). And to make matters worse my ex is an alcoholic and he keeps saying he wants to change. Hes gotten better since we were first going out. He went from using drugs and drinking every day (with me) to quitting drugs completely but still needs to stop the alcohol completely. Hes slowed down on drinking but lies behind my back about drinking now. I stopped everything when i found out i was pregnant with our child. Havent drank since. We were On and off for four years because of his alcoholic rage. Violence. Im tired of it all. Now hes seeing a therapist but recently caught him in another lie. Then again another apology and begs for me to see him change. He hates himself for hurting me all the time, so he says. Hes a real good guy when hes sober apart from his jelousy that he learned to control. He says he'll never give up on me. And he'll get every help he needs . But he cant control his desire to drink. He wants to battle the devil. But the devil always wins. My mind is so out of control. Im angry at him for doing this to us. And hes angry at himself. Hes older than ito am. . Is readyu to getu his life straight..but I cant believe him anymore.
O
My poor 1 year old daughter had to see her father drunk in rage. And now sees depressed. I rather get help through God to relieve me from depression than to go through a psychiatrist. I need food for my spirit. I need patience. And guidence!!(hopefully i spelled that right). So how am i. Supposed to go to church more often or to retreats when i have to much anxiety to step outside of the house? Psychiatry vs religion is what i am trying to figure out right now. I wish to go to school but am too depressed. I wish to do everything ive been wanting to but am too lo w self esteemed. I need more patience with my daughter. Shes already showing signs of tantrums and short temper and i blame that on myself.


I recently gave up anxiety meds for lent for the faith that i wont need meds to feel confident.. I need more strength and faith. Its been tough for me. I dont know how "normal" feels like. I never knew how it felt like. I only worry about my daughter constantly and how all of this will affect her. I feel so bad for not being strong enough for her. I need prayers. Alot of prayers for her father who i would love to see change for our daughter. So she can have both parents in her life and grow up with good role models.

So much to read i know. Bless you who took their time to read it. Im Just a human being in need of help and dont know where to get it. I do believe god cures all sickness. Hes helped us this far. Why am i losing hope.. why am i feeling worse than ever.. whats wrong?

Last edited by Karenlmd; Feb 17, '13 at 9:59 pm.
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  #2  
Old Feb 17, '13, 10:27 pm
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Oren Oren is offline
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless, guilt, depression, God help me with anxiety. Please bless me with patience.

You should not give up your medication for Lent. Are you seeing a psychiatrist regularly or a therapist? You need to and you need to tell them all of these things. Try to find someone who is strong in the faith that you can talk to and get advice from.
Pray more every day.
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"Materialists and madmen never have doubts." ~G.K. Chesterton in Orthodoxy
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  #3  
Old Feb 17, '13, 10:35 pm
Karenlmd Karenlmd is offline
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless, guilt, depression, God help me with anxiety. Please bless me with patience.

Hi thanks so much for your reply. And no i explained it wrong. Well i baught some anxiety medications online which i know was wrong of me to do so without consulting a doctor first. But i used to see a psychiatrist. He only wanted my money. Never bothered to connect with me so i left. I always had my doubts on psychiatry. I always wanted to look for God for natural happiness.. or his love. I wouldnt mind trying again..but with my anxiety and being religious i fear that its just not the right thing to do. I look for catholic catholic counselors but non take insurance. I am just afraid. But i know i shouldnt be afraid if i have God. Therefor i am confused and i bury myself in more depression. I over-analyze and think about over 100mph. Oh God. Im losing it again.
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  #4  
Old Feb 17, '13, 10:56 pm
timmythegreek timmythegreek is offline
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless, guilt, depression, God help me with anxiety. Please bless me with patience.

You can find a bad doctor just like you can find bad priests/preachers.

You need God AND your medication. There is nothing wrong with using medication as needed.

Pray for strength and guidance, and a doctor for the rest. Obviously, a different one than the one who only cared about your money.

You, your daughter and your ex-struggling with addiction will be in my prayers.
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  #5  
Old Feb 17, '13, 11:06 pm
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Evania Evania is offline
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Join Date: January 31, 2013
Posts: 1,307
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless, guilt, depression, God help me with anxiety. Please bless me with patience.

If your boyfriend is harming you in any way during his drunken rages, please listen to me. You owe it to yourself and your daughter to leave this relationship. Seeing a parent in such a state is terrifying to a vulnerable child, and she needs to be protected from seeing and experiencing all that. Since he is the one in the rages, it's up to you to protect her. I know he says he's sorry, but unless he makes serious changes, the outcome is hopeless. He needs to take that step. Secondly, I recommend that you find a good doctor. Yes, there are some bad ones, but there are good ones as well. Don't give up! God loves you, and will help you, but first you might have to take some painful steps. I'm praying for you!
Be strong!
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  #6  
Old Feb 18, '13, 5:23 am
rejemaky rejemaky is offline
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless, guilt, depression, God help me with anxiety. Please bless me with patience.

Honey, go see a priest. Tell him of your problems, and ask for a referral to someone who you can afford. I'm sure he can help. You don't have to live with this depression. Depression is a disease, no different than something like diabetes. Your brain just does not get what it needs. Medication helps this by supplying it with what it needs to make you as you should be. I have anxiety and I have to take medication. There is nothing wrong with that! It runs in my family which again proves it is like a disease. We were born with a deficiency in our bodies. It it not YOU, it is your body. Don't feel like you can do it alone. God will be there helping you find the cure!
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  #7  
Old Feb 18, '13, 10:02 am
Karenlmd Karenlmd is offline
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Join Date: February 17, 2013
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless, guilt, depression, God help me with anxiety. Please bless me with patience.

I am right ahead of you, i am not with him, and if for any reason we need to see eachother he baught me a breathalyzer to test him. So no worries there. Im the one that needs more strength to move on. And if he never changes, then to learn to accept that. Thank you all for your kind words i really appreciate you guys taking your time to help me out. i will be looking for a psychiatrist.
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  #8  
Old Feb 18, '13, 10:33 am
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Evania Evania is offline
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Join Date: January 31, 2013
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Default Re: Feeling hopeless, guilt, depression, God help me with anxiety. Please bless me with patience.

I admire your bravery! You will be fine. God will see you through this. I'm praying for you, dear!
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  #9  
Old Feb 20, '13, 4:02 pm
mama2lovebugs mama2lovebugs is offline
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Join Date: January 5, 2009
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Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Feeling hopeless, guilt, depression, God help me with anxiety. Please bless me with patience.

Big hugs to you. I know what it is like to struggle with depression and anxiety. It is awful and as a parent you feel guilty if your child/ren see you upset. It sounds like you have been through a lot and that you need some peace.

First, taking medication without being under the care of a doctor is not a good idea. If you do feel that you need medication to help get you back on your feet then your first priority should be finding a good doctor who is willing to work with you.

Second, there are many things that you can do to help with your anxiety/depression with or without medication. Make a good confession and go to confession regularly (once a week), get outside and walk everyday, eat good nourishing food, sleep at least 8 hours, try taking an omega 3 supplement and a good multivitamin or b-complex. Challenge your anxiety and push yourself out of your comfort zone everyday. Put your life in God's hands and when you can really do that you will find peace.

Please try these recommendations, they will help tremendously! Getting outside and moving will improve your mood. There are several studies that prove the exercise is just as effective as medication and more effective than medication in the long term. That being said, if you need medication than you shouldn't feel that it is a sin to take it. Pray about it.

God bless you.
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