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  #1  
Old Apr 5, '13, 7:07 pm
nintendorocks nintendorocks is offline
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Default nervous for Confession

I am sorry if this is in the wrong section, I am new to the forums.

Anyway, I really want to go to confession. I am in a state of mortal sin and I need to go tomorrow, because I don't want to recieve Communion without going to Confession. I don't go to Reconciliation very often, and when I do I get really nervous. I am way more nervous this time than I ever was before. I feel depressed about having done a mortal sin, but I almost had a panic attack just thinking about Reconciliation. I have prayed about how to get over the feeling, but praying and having my prayers not answered made me quesrion God, which is another sin. I don't know what to do and I feel like I am going to explode if I go or if I don't go. I need help. Please help me know how to get over my nervousness.
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  #2  
Old Apr 5, '13, 7:41 pm
LaughingBoy1503 LaughingBoy1503 is offline
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Default Re: nervous for Confession

Quote:
Originally Posted by nintendorocks View Post
I am sorry if this is in the wrong section, I am new to the forums.

Anyway, I really want to go to confession. I am in a state of mortal sin and I need to go tomorrow, because I don't want to recieve Communion without going to Confession. I don't go to Reconciliation very often, and when I do I get really nervous. I am way more nervous this time than I ever was before. I feel depressed about having done a mortal sin, but I almost had a panic attack just thinking about Reconciliation. I have prayed about how to get over the feeling, but praying and having my prayers not answered made me quesrion God, which is another sin. I don't know what to do and I feel like I am going to explode if I go or if I don't go. I need help. Please help me know how to get over my nervousness.
Sorry that you are feeling so nervous over this. I am a New Catholic and have not even been to confession yet. But the last time I felt I committed a big sin I felt so bad and it was effecting me enough that I wished I could have gone to confession (I was not yet baptized, so I could not) What helped me was to go to my parish and just kneel in prayer before the Tabernacle and tell the Lord how you feel and ask for him to have mercy on you and help you to never commit that sin again. That helped me feel way better. Perhaps after that you will feel alittle less nervous about going to confession too. God Bless.
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  #3  
Old Apr 5, '13, 7:50 pm
detoutcoeur's Avatar
detoutcoeur detoutcoeur is offline
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Join Date: May 5, 2011
Posts: 4,020
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: nervous for Confession

Hi nintendorocks,

The most important thing is that you really want to go to confession. Keeping that firmly in your mind will help you get over your nervousness.
Once you're there, tell the priest that you're really nervous, and he'll help guide you through it. God hears our prayers but answers them when He thinks best--sometimes when we least expect it. Pray, and stay strong; I'll pray for you.

An article you might like:


My Side of the Confessional: What It's Like for the Priest

I was once riding in a shuttle-bus with a number of older folks on the way from an airport. They noticed that I was a priest and started asking questions about it. “Do you do all of the priest stuff?” “Yep.” “Even the Confession thing?” “Yeah. All the time.”
One older lady gasped, “Well, I think that that would be the worst. It would be so depressing; hearing all about people’s sins.”
I told them that it was the exact opposite. There is almost no greater place to be than with someone when they are coming back to God. I said, “It would depressing if I had to watch someone leave God; I get to be with them when they come back to Him.” The Confessional is a place where people let God’s love win. The Confessional is the most joyful, humbling, and inspiring place in the world.
What do I see during confession?

I think there are three things. First, I see the costly mercy of God in action. I get to regularly come face to face with the overwhelming, life-transforming power of God’s love. I get to see God’s love up-close and it reminds me of how good God is.
Not many folks get to see the way in which God’s sacrifice on the Cross is constantly breaking into people’s lives and melting the hardest hearts. Jesus consoles those who are grieving their sins . . . and strengthens those who find themselves wanting to give up on God or on life.
As a priest, I get to see this thing happen every day.
I see a saint in the making.

The second thing I see is a person who is still trying – a saint in the making. I don’t care if this is the person’s third confession this week; if they are seeking the Sacrament of Reconciliation, it means that they are trying. That’s all that I care about. This thought is worth considering: going to Confession is a sign that you haven’t given up on Jesus.
This is one of the reasons why pride is so deadly. I have talked with people who tell me that they don’t want to go to Confession to their priest because their priest really likes them and “thinks that they are a good kid.”
I have two things to say to this.
  1. He will not be disappointed! What your priest will see is a person who is trying! I dare you to find a saint who didn’t need to God’s mercy! (Even Mary needed God’s mercy; she received the mercy of God in a dramatic and powerful way at her conception. Boom. Lawyered.)
  2. So what if the priest is disappointed? We try to be so impressive with so much of our lives. Confession is a place where we don’t get to be impressive. Confession is a place where the desire to impress goes to die. Think about it: all other sins have the potential to cause us to race to the confessional, but pride is the one that causes us to hide from the God who could heal us.
Do I Remember Your Sins? No!

So often, people will ask if I remember people’s sin from Confession. As a priest, I rarely, if ever, remember sins from the confessional. That might seem impossible, but the truth is, sins aren’t all that impressive. They aren’t like memorable sunsets or meteor showers or super-intriguing movies . . . they are more like the garbage.
And if sins are like garbage, then the priest is like God’s garbage-man. If you ask a garbage-man about the gross-est thing he’s ever had to haul to the dump, maaaaaaybe he could remember it. But the fact is, once you get used to taking out the trash, it ceases to be noteworthy, it ceases to stand out.
Honestly, once you realize that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is less about the sin and more about Christ’s death and resurrection having victory in a person’s life, the sins lose all of their luster, and Jesus’ victory takes center stage.

http://lifeteen.com/my-side-of-the-c...-for-a-priest/
__________________

We love because He first loved us.

I John 4:19



Last edited by detoutcoeur; Apr 5, '13 at 8:10 pm.
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  #4  
Old Apr 5, '13, 8:19 pm
TheRealJuliane TheRealJuliane is offline
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Join Date: October 11, 2010
Posts: 19,026
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: nervous for Confession

Quote:
Originally Posted by nintendorocks View Post
I am sorry if this is in the wrong section, I am new to the forums.

Anyway, I really want to go to confession. I am in a state of mortal sin and I need to go tomorrow, because I don't want to recieve Communion without going to Confession. I don't go to Reconciliation very often, and when I do I get really nervous. I am way more nervous this time than I ever was before. I feel depressed about having done a mortal sin, but I almost had a panic attack just thinking about Reconciliation. I have prayed about how to get over the feeling, but praying and having my prayers not answered made me quesrion God, which is another sin. I don't know what to do and I feel like I am going to explode if I go or if I don't go. I need help. Please help me know how to get over my nervousness.
Dear OP, I cannot tell you how to get over your nervousness. I can tell you that I am nervous EVERY TIME I go to confession. I go anyway. I feel as if I am going to vomit/faint/have a heart attack when it's my turn. I want to run in the opposite direction. I want to go back to the end of the line and hope that time runs out before I get back up to the door. My feet feel made of lead as I walk up to the door. The door itself weighs 1,000 lbs. And then, I am in, and I have to kneel and begin. My voice usually trembles, and sometimes I forget the format and have to start again, like a child. When I have a lot to confess, I take a list, or I am sure I would forget something major. I feel like crying the entire time. Sometimes I do cry, although the priest cannot see me through the screen.

When I finish with my little horror show of sins, I can already breathe a little more easily. And when the priest gives me absolution, I am so, SO relieved. The sick churning in my stomach has gone away now. I am still sad to have grieved my Lord so much in sin, and I tell Him so as I do my penance in the adoration chapel. Sometimes tears of gratitude spill out of my eyes as I gaze in awe and love at Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. I literally cannot believe that He died for me. I want to stay there with Him forever, but eventually, my prayers of penance are finished and I get up to leave. Now I am joyous and light seems to be brighter. I know that I am freed from my sins. What grace has been offered to us!

Don't worry about being nervous, just go.
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  #5  
Old Apr 5, '13, 8:35 pm
rafarose's Avatar
rafarose rafarose is offline
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Join Date: January 3, 2013
Posts: 1,743
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: nervous for Confession

Hey!

Don't worry, I feel you! I believe every person goes through this. I faced a similar situation, where I would get extremeeeeeeely nervous, and I mean extremelyyy nervous.
Going to confession was like public speaking for me.

My advice:
1) Once you go to confession, you'll find it easier to go to another. The anxiety and nervousness fade away as you go more often.


2)Your time will come. You must be patient with yourself. It will be a time when you feel God taking away your burdens. For me it happened after Eucharistic adoration. I felt the need to go to confession after two years of not doing one.
So I my advice would be to be in prayer mode. Kneel down in your room, pray, put some music to calm you (Hillsong makes great music) and just appreciate his presence. Prepare yourself beforehand and don't dwell too much on worrying. Worrying will not wash away your sins. Plus the priests are great listeners and are always cool about it.

So don't fear, we are all here to help each other and not to condemn. Most importantly you are loved by God and he is waiting for you, so you can give him a chance to take away your baggage and sins.
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  #6  
Old Apr 5, '13, 8:47 pm
Deborah Marie Deborah Marie is offline
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Join Date: April 5, 2013
Posts: 21
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: nervous for Confession

Debi
Quote:
Originally Posted by detoutcoeur View Post
Hi nintendorocks,

The most important thing is that you really want to go to confession. Keeping that firmly in your mind will help you get over your nervousness.
Once you're there, tell the priest that you're really nervous, and he'll help guide you through it. God hears our prayers but answers them when He thinks best--sometimes when we least expect it. Pray, and stay strong; I'll pray for you.

An article you might like:


My Side of the Confessional: What It's Like for the Priest

I was once riding in a shuttle-bus with a number of older folks on the way from an airport. They noticed that I was a priest and started asking questions about it. “Do you do all of the priest stuff?” “Yep.” “Even the Confession thing?” “Yeah. All the time.”
One older lady gasped, “Well, I think that that would be the worst. It would be so depressing; hearing all about people’s sins.”
I told them that it was the exact opposite. There is almost no greater place to be than with someone when they are coming back to God. I said, “It would depressing if I had to watch someone leave God; I get to be with them when they come back to Him.” The Confessional is a place where people let God’s love win. The Confessional is the most joyful, humbling, and inspiring place in the world.
What do I see during confession?

I think there are three things. First, I see the costly mercy of God in action. I get to regularly come face to face with the overwhelming, life-transforming power of God’s love. I get to see God’s love up-close and it reminds me of how good God is.
Not many folks get to see the way in which God’s sacrifice on the Cross is constantly breaking into people’s lives and melting the hardest hearts. Jesus consoles those who are grieving their sins . . . and strengthens those who find themselves wanting to give up on God or on life.
As a priest, I get to see this thing happen every day.
I see a saint in the making.

The second thing I see is a person who is still trying – a saint in the making. I don’t care if this is the person’s third confession this week; if they are seeking the Sacrament of Reconciliation, it means that they are trying. That’s all that I care about. This thought is worth considering: going to Confession is a sign that you haven’t given up on Jesus.
This is one of the reasons why pride is so deadly. I have talked with people who tell me that they don’t want to go to Confession to their priest because their priest really likes them and “thinks that they are a good kid.”
I have two things to say to this.
  1. He will not be disappointed! What your priest will see is a person who is trying! I dare you to find a saint who didn’t need to God’s mercy! (Even Mary needed God’s mercy; she received the mercy of God in a dramatic and powerful way at her conception. Boom. Lawyered.)
  2. So what if the priest is disappointed? We try to be so impressive with so much of our lives. Confession is a place where we don’t get to be impressive. Confession is a place where the desire to impress goes to die. Think about it: all other sins have the potential to cause us to race to the confessional, but pride is the one that causes us to hide from the God who could heal us.
Do I Remember Your Sins? No!

So often, people will ask if I remember people’s sin from Confession. As a priest, I rarely, if ever, remember sins from the confessional. That might seem impossible, but the truth is, sins aren’t all that impressive. They aren’t like memorable sunsets or meteor showers or super-intriguing movies . . . they are more like the garbage.
And if sins are like garbage, then the priest is like God’s garbage-man. If you ask a garbage-man about the gross-est thing he’s ever had to haul to the dump, maaaaaaybe he could remember it. But the fact is, once you get used to taking out the trash, it ceases to be noteworthy, it ceases to stand out.
Honestly, once you realize that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is less about the sin and more about Christ’s death and resurrection having victory in a person’s life, the sins lose all of their luster, and Jesus’ victory takes center stage.

http://lifeteen.com/my-side-of-the-c...-for-a-priest/
Thank you for this article... Beautiful.

xoxo
-Debi
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  #7  
Old Apr 5, '13, 9:11 pm
Mark121359's Avatar
Mark121359 Mark121359 is offline
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Join Date: August 30, 2012
Posts: 1,862
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: nervous for Confession

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheRealJuliane View Post
Dear OP, I cannot tell you how to get over your nervousness. I can tell you that I am nervous EVERY TIME I go to confession. I go anyway. I feel as if I am going to vomit/faint/have a heart attack when it's my turn. I want to run in the opposite direction. I want to go back to the end of the line and hope that time runs out before I get back up to the door. My feet feel made of lead as I walk up to the door. The door itself weighs 1,000 lbs. And then, I am in, and I have to kneel and begin. My voice usually trembles, and sometimes I forget the format and have to start again, like a child. When I have a lot to confess, I take a list, or I am sure I would forget something major. I feel like crying the entire time. Sometimes I do cry, although the priest cannot see me through the screen.

When I finish with my little horror show of sins, I can already breathe a little more easily. And when the priest gives me absolution, I am so, SO relieved. The sick churning in my stomach has gone away now. I am still sad to have grieved my Lord so much in sin, and I tell Him so as I do my penance in the adoration chapel. Sometimes tears of gratitude spill out of my eyes as I gaze in awe and love at Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. I literally cannot believe that He died for me. I want to stay there with Him forever, but eventually, my prayers of penance are finished and I get up to leave. Now I am joyous and light seems to be brighter. I know that I am freed from my sins. What grace has been offered to us!

Don't worry about being nervous, just go.
Beautiful thoughts here! These heartfelt words should put the OP at ease for sure......or anyone for that matter who is nervous about confession. Great post!

Peace, Mark
__________________
Totus Tuus Maria!
Luke 1:38 And Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be done to me according to your word." And the angel departed from her.
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  #8  
Old Apr 5, '13, 9:54 pm
MaryT777 MaryT777 is offline
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Join Date: November 23, 2012
Posts: 6,522
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: nervous for Confession

Quote:
Originally Posted by detoutcoeur View Post
Hi nintendorocks,

The most important thing is that you really want to go to confession. Keeping that firmly in your mind will help you get over your nervousness.
Once you're there, tell the priest that you're really nervous, and he'll help guide you through it. God hears our prayers but answers them when He thinks best--sometimes when we least expect it. Pray, and stay strong; I'll pray for you.

An article you might like:


My Side of the Confessional: What It's Like for the Priest

I was once riding in a shuttle-bus with a number of older folks on the way from an airport. They noticed that I was a priest and started asking questions about it. “Do you do all of the priest stuff?” “Yep.” “Even the Confession thing?” “Yeah. All the time.”
One older lady gasped, “Well, I think that that would be the worst. It would be so depressing; hearing all about people’s sins.”
I told them that it was the exact opposite. There is almost no greater place to be than with someone when they are coming back to God. I said, “It would depressing if I had to watch someone leave God; I get to be with them when they come back to Him.” The Confessional is a place where people let God’s love win. The Confessional is the most joyful, humbling, and inspiring place in the world.
What do I see during confession?

I think there are three things. First, I see the costly mercy of God in action. I get to regularly come face to face with the overwhelming, life-transforming power of God’s love. I get to see God’s love up-close and it reminds me of how good God is.
Not many folks get to see the way in which God’s sacrifice on the Cross is constantly breaking into people’s lives and melting the hardest hearts. Jesus consoles those who are grieving their sins . . . and strengthens those who find themselves wanting to give up on God or on life.
As a priest, I get to see this thing happen every day.
I see a saint in the making.

The second thing I see is a person who is still trying – a saint in the making. I don’t care if this is the person’s third confession this week; if they are seeking the Sacrament of Reconciliation, it means that they are trying. That’s all that I care about. This thought is worth considering: going to Confession is a sign that you haven’t given up on Jesus.
This is one of the reasons why pride is so deadly. I have talked with people who tell me that they don’t want to go to Confession to their priest because their priest really likes them and “thinks that they are a good kid.”
I have two things to say to this.
  1. He will not be disappointed! What your priest will see is a person who is trying! I dare you to find a saint who didn’t need to God’s mercy! (Even Mary needed God’s mercy; she received the mercy of God in a dramatic and powerful way at her conception. Boom. Lawyered.)
  2. So what if the priest is disappointed? We try to be so impressive with so much of our lives. Confession is a place where we don’t get to be impressive. Confession is a place where the desire to impress goes to die. Think about it: all other sins have the potential to cause us to race to the confessional, but pride is the one that causes us to hide from the God who could heal us.
Do I Remember Your Sins? No!

So often, people will ask if I remember people’s sin from Confession. As a priest, I rarely, if ever, remember sins from the confessional. That might seem impossible, but the truth is, sins aren’t all that impressive. They aren’t like memorable sunsets or meteor showers or super-intriguing movies . . . they are more like the garbage.
And if sins are like garbage, then the priest is like God’s garbage-man. If you ask a garbage-man about the gross-est thing he’s ever had to haul to the dump, maaaaaaybe he could remember it. But the fact is, once you get used to taking out the trash, it ceases to be noteworthy, it ceases to stand out.
Honestly, once you realize that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is less about the sin and more about Christ’s death and resurrection having victory in a person’s life, the sins lose all of their luster, and Jesus’ victory takes center stage.

http://lifeteen.com/my-side-of-the-c...-for-a-priest/
What a fabulous article; it's one of my favorite. I will print it out to share with others.
Thank you for posting this!
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  #9  
Old Apr 6, '13, 6:12 am
nintendorocks nintendorocks is offline
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Join Date: April 2, 2013
Posts: 6
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: nervous for Confession

Thank you all for what you said. I am glad to know that other people feel the same way, and that I will feel relieved after.
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  #10  
Old Apr 6, '13, 10:12 am
GangGreen GangGreen is offline
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Join Date: October 10, 2012
Posts: 883
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: nervous for Confession

I used to be nervous for confession, I still get a little bit, but I go quite a bit more now. Of course you feel embarrassed for your sins, but remember that every priest has hear just about any sin you could think of during their careers. Maybe your sins are quite common and they hear them a lot. I wouldn't worry about it.
__________________
Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto, Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula saeculorum. Amen.

INVIOLATA, integra, et casta es Maria, quae es effecta fulgida caeli porta.
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  #11  
Old Apr 6, '13, 6:16 pm
sirach2v4 sirach2v4 is offline
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Join Date: November 22, 2012
Posts: 871
Default Re: nervous for Confession

Maybe by now you've gone to confession, and it is over.

In one of his books, the late Fr. Dubay (who used to be on EWTN) wrote about his pet peeves, about confession. He was emphatic just to get in, say the mortal sins, and get it over with. He thought each confession should take less than two minutes.

In this one church where I have gone to confession lately, a young woman went in and she was grief stricken and crying, howling a bit. She was there about ten minutes, and there were about 20 people waiting.

That confessional is in a small room, with a lot of echoes. Even the priest advised me once to just whisper. There didn't seem to be much consideration to sound-proofing the room.

I don't like face-to-face confession. I did that once, and the priest was rather hard-nosed about it. I said my embarrassing sins, and he was saying absolution but stopped when I averted my eyes from him. He wanted continuous eye contact during the absolution. I don't that's a requirement and I was unhappy with his bullying about it.
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  #12  
Old Apr 6, '13, 7:56 pm
TheRealJuliane TheRealJuliane is offline
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Join Date: October 11, 2010
Posts: 19,026
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: nervous for Confession

I got this little book at our local Catholic store, and it's a wonderful thing to take with you to confession, or to read before. It was written quite a long time ago, but it is timeless.

Confession: A Little Book for the Reluctant

Especially good for all the excuses we give for why we don't need to go to confession.
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