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  #1  
Old Apr 5, '14, 6:44 pm
newlywed8 newlywed8 is offline
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Default Discipline and 2 year old

I am looking for some ideas to handle disciple with my two year old (27 mo).

A little background:
All in all, she is a good child. She is very logical minded. I have tried very hard to be consistent throughout her life (doing exactly what I say I am going to do) and she seems to generally listen. I always go out of my way to praise good behavior (ie "I loved what a helpful girl you were" or "It is so much fun to take you to the park when you are such a good listener"). When possible, I focus on redirecting her behavior. Say "no, we do not do xyz because it abc" and then distract her. When she is very naughty, I stick her in her crib for a brief time out.

However, I am coming across a few times when these techniques are not working, and I am looking for suggestions. Basically, like many two year olds, she thinks of everything like a game.

For example, take diaper changes. Often she will try to kick her legs around, kicking my legs in the process. I tell her to stop kicking and restrain her legs. She thinks it is all a game and keeps trying to kick, making diaper changes ridiculous. Stern words have no influence. I have given her a swat on the bottom after a warning but she even thinks that is a game and laughs.

Another example, today she ran away from my while I was trying to wipe her face after having some apple. In her laughter of getting away from me, she spit some apple all over the floor. I told her to pick it up (my usual response to accidents, she just has to clean it up, typically not a problem). Today, however, she decided to be defiant and picked up and then threw it further. I made her clean it up, but she even thinks of that as a game. I would have stuck her in her crib (sometimes that seems like the only thing that gets through to her that this is not a game), but her baby sister was sleeping in the room next door, and she shrieks when she is stuck in her crib for a time out.

How do I get her to realize that these are not games? She does not respond to stern words or language, angry faces, greets typical swats on the bottom with laughter, etc. I don't want to smack harder because then I am purposely hitting my daughter to try and upset her and that does not seem right. I strongly dislike smacking, and want to save it for only like life/death situations (ie running away in the middle of a parking lot). The only thing that stops the laughter is time outs in the crib, but sometimes that is not feasible, such as when the baby is napping or when changing a diaper (I like to punish immediately after an act of defiance, but if I finish changing the diaper, that moment is over) . Any suggestions?
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  #2  
Old Apr 5, '14, 7:00 pm
Linybaby Linybaby is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

I have a toddler who is 26 months old. He is pretty good most of the time. My almost four year old is more of a challenge than he is.

My very first piece of advice is to stop using the crib as a time out. The crib should be only used for sleeping. Before you know it she will be so mad she will climb out. When that happens its time for a big girl bed. (My first was out of her crib and into a twin bed at 22 months and my son who is the 26 month old is actually spending his first night in his big boy twin bed tonight 😥we are officially a crib free home in almost four years. BTW I never used the crib for time out my children just did not like the cribs.)

I personally think you are doing a good job. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Use a small chair in a corner for time out. Standard is a minute per their age. All toddlers are going to test you and going to have their moments. As long as you are consistent, which you say you are that's all you can do.

Both of my children kicked during diaper changes. I always tried to give them a toy or distract them during diaper changing time. If they did kick I would put my hands just above their legs so when they kick its not that high and tell them no. This is the year when you potty train so hopefully your diaper changing days are going to end soon. Have you started to potty train? Put her on the potty and she how she does? Test it.

Good luck....
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  #3  
Old Apr 5, '14, 8:10 pm
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Cariethra Cariethra is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

Sounds like my son... Drives me nuts. When my son kicks and wiggles during diaper changes, I honestly pin him with my leg. He is extremely afraid of heights and is terrified of the changing table. This works in a pinch, but I try to only use it when I have to. It isn't comfortable for him, but doesn't hurt. It has greatly reduced his squirming.

As for throwing/refusing to pick up toys. I walk him over and have him pick it up. I've found that some days I have to help him bend over and pick up the item. He laughs, but at the same time you can tell he doesn't like it. Since he is the younger sibling I sometimes use the "Ok, then Lily will help instead." That often gets him to clean up his mess.

It is harder with an older sibling. My daughter was very different so I don't have much advice from that side of it. Try to stay as calm as possible. With an accidental mess, I often laugh with them, and help them clean it up.
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  #4  
Old Apr 5, '14, 8:26 pm
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robwar robwar is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

Quote:
Originally Posted by newlywed8 View Post
I am looking for some ideas to handle disciple with my two year old (27 mo).

A little background:
All in all, she is a good child. She is very logical minded. I have tried very hard to be consistent throughout her life (doing exactly what I say I am going to do) and she seems to generally listen. I always go out of my way to praise good behavior (ie "I loved what a helpful girl you were" or "It is so much fun to take you to the park when you are such a good listener"). When possible, I focus on redirecting her behavior. Say "no, we do not do xyz because it abc" and then distract her. When she is very naughty, I stick her in her crib for a brief time out.

However, I am coming across a few times when these techniques are not working, and I am looking for suggestions. Basically, like many two year olds, she thinks of everything like a game.

For example, take diaper changes. Often she will try to kick her legs around, kicking my legs in the process. I tell her to stop kicking and restrain her legs. She thinks it is all a game and keeps trying to kick, making diaper changes ridiculous. Stern words have no influence. I have given her a swat on the bottom after a warning but she even thinks that is a game and laughs.

Another example, today she ran away from my while I was trying to wipe her face after having some apple. In her laughter of getting away from me, she spit some apple all over the floor. I told her to pick it up (my usual response to accidents, she just has to clean it up, typically not a problem). Today, however, she decided to be defiant and picked up and then threw it further. I made her clean it up, but she even thinks of that as a game. I would have stuck her in her crib (sometimes that seems like the only thing that gets through to her that this is not a game), but her baby sister was sleeping in the room next door, and she shrieks when she is stuck in her crib for a time out.

How do I get her to realize that these are not games? She does not respond to stern words or language, angry faces, greets typical swats on the bottom with laughter, etc. I don't want to smack harder because then I am purposely hitting my daughter to try and upset her and that does not seem right. I strongly dislike smacking, and want to save it for only like life/death situations (ie running away in the middle of a parking lot). The only thing that stops the laughter is time outs in the crib, but sometimes that is not feasible, such as when the baby is napping or when changing a diaper (I like to punish immediately after an act of defiance, but if I finish changing the diaper, that moment is over) . Any suggestions?
your two year old has stopped taking you seriously and yes the redirecting doesn't work because she isn't taking you seriously. My husband and I didn't try the "technique" of reasoning with a 2 year old. they are too young to reason with. That can come later as they grow older and develop reasoning. A two year old can understand consequences so stop the reasoning and even stop the praising of good behavior because her tractionary mode now is to test your limits and see if you mean what you say when you are telling her to stop. If you are changing her diaper and she thinks it is a game then let her know that this is it, no more, mean it and end it. I think the praising her for every little good thing is making her think there is no consequence at all.
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Last edited by robwar; Apr 5, '14 at 8:39 pm.
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  #5  
Old Apr 5, '14, 8:26 pm
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esieffe esieffe is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

Your daughter has wonderful spirit! Hmm, how to turn down the flame and still keep the joy alive and well!

All kids adore attention. When your daughter gets too wound up, consider withdrawing your attention for a while. You don't even have to leave the room if you don't want, just focus on other things and if you can wait her out, if she begins to change the behavior then apply the praise.
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  #6  
Old Apr 5, '14, 9:17 pm
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Jon S Jon S is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

Quote:
Originally Posted by newlywed8 View Post
I am looking for some ideas to handle disciple with my two year old (27 mo).

A little background:
All in all, she is a good child. She is very logical minded. I have tried very hard to be consistent throughout her life (doing exactly what I say I am going to do) and she seems to generally listen. I always go out of my way to praise good behavior (ie "I loved what a helpful girl you were" or "It is so much fun to take you to the park when you are such a good listener"). When possible, I focus on redirecting her behavior. Say "no, we do not do xyz because it abc" and then distract her. When she is very naughty, I stick her in her crib for a brief time out.

However, I am coming across a few times when these techniques are not working, and I am looking for suggestions. Basically, like many two year olds, she thinks of everything like a game.

For example, take diaper changes. Often she will try to kick her legs around, kicking my legs in the process. I tell her to stop kicking and restrain her legs. She thinks it is all a game and keeps trying to kick, making diaper changes ridiculous. Stern words have no influence. I have given her a swat on the bottom after a warning but she even thinks that is a game and laughs.

Another example, today she ran away from my while I was trying to wipe her face after having some apple. In her laughter of getting away from me, she spit some apple all over the floor. I told her to pick it up (my usual response to accidents, she just has to clean it up, typically not a problem). Today, however, she decided to be defiant and picked up and then threw it further. I made her clean it up, but she even thinks of that as a game. I would have stuck her in her crib (sometimes that seems like the only thing that gets through to her that this is not a game), but her baby sister was sleeping in the room next door, and she shrieks when she is stuck in her crib for a time out.

How do I get her to realize that these are not games? She does not respond to stern words or language, angry faces, greets typical swats on the bottom with laughter, etc. I don't want to smack harder because then I am purposely hitting my daughter to try and upset her and that does not seem right. I strongly dislike smacking, and want to save it for only like life/death situations (ie running away in the middle of a parking lot). The only thing that stops the laughter is time outs in the crib, but sometimes that is not feasible, such as when the baby is napping or when changing a diaper (I like to punish immediately after an act of defiance, but if I finish changing the diaper, that moment is over) . Any suggestions?
You need to find something she doesn't like.....some way to give her a time out. Screaming will probably be involved. At that age, I don't think there is any discipline you can do effectively and not involve the child crying and being upset. The fact that she sees all you do as a game should prove that point to you.

I know I strapped my kid in their car seat a few times for time out when I needed it quiet in the house because another child was napping. Car was in the garage and I just rolled the windows down, buckled them in and stood out of sight where I could watch them but they couldn't see me. They didn't like it......They got the message.
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  #7  
Old Apr 5, '14, 9:20 pm
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Delaine75 Delaine75 is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

As a mother myself (of a now 16-year-old) and having worked in the child care business as a teacher of 2 and 3 year olds, I can tell you you're doing a great thing by praising good behavior. Keep it up! We have always been told to "catch them being good" and let them know when they've done something well, whether a physical action, a good attitude or good listening skills.

Having said that, it's also very important that you be consistent with consequences. No, sterm words and angry faces don't work with most 2 year olds. You're wasting your time on that. Pick a consequence (whether it's time-out or whatever) and stick with it every time. If the consequence for being defiant is being put in time-out, as soon as the defiant behaviour begins, pick her up and put her in the designated time-out spot immediately. Don't waste time trying to reason with her, having words with her or "swats" on the bottom. Just put her in time out. After a while of being consistent, they really do get it. After 20 years of dealing with these darling 2 year olds, I know what I'm talking about, LOL! Best of luck to you!
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  #8  
Old Apr 5, '14, 9:25 pm
Tiber2001 Tiber2001 is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

I've got 8 children. I've found that with the little ones, you need to give lots of physical attention and eye contact. Cuddling and reading books, etc... Also, the more screen time for you OR the kids = less respect and more rebellion. I'm so proud of myself now- after struggling with this as a Mom for almost14 years, I've finally mastered "the look"- and it has happened over lent when we drastically reduce screen time (zero for the kids, which forces me to interact with them more).
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  #9  
Old Apr 5, '14, 9:34 pm
Tiber2001 Tiber2001 is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

Oh - I hope you understand that I didn't mean to give her more attention when she is being disobedient. I agree with the others who mention to keep up the consistent discipline too.
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  #10  
Old Apr 5, '14, 10:39 pm
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Giggly Giraffe Giggly Giraffe is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

Diaper changing ... At two they are tired of you wipeing their butt. They have advanced to realize the dignaty of it and they want control of this task (diaper changing). Solution, lots of strange objects ( bottle caps, whisks, broken stuff that has no meaning) offered as a gift to distract mind. Also, involve baby to help wipe, fasten diaper, put on pants. The disobedience is because baby is ready to advance and you are holding baby back.

You can also start potty training. My recommendation is to get baby off diaper changing station/floor and start changing baby while baby stands up. When YOU have mastered this, take baby to different potty options.

My biggest realization is that every time I master a skill (diaper changing) they advance and te game changes.

As for boundaries, you need to play the game over and over what is good and naughty. When in public, crowded places, I like restraints like the monkey on te back with extension. In safer areas, it's just unrelenting practice (it's as much practice for you as it is for baby).
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  #11  
Old Apr 6, '14, 1:24 am
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phil at dayboro phil at dayboro is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

I think it's strange that your looking to discipline a 2. Year old.....
You can't have a logical in depth conversation with a 4 year old let alone a 2 year old..
She is a baby ,that need love, hugs, a special toy or blanket,,,,
Never ever take your eyes off her, because they disappear before you know it,,,
There full of adventure, checking out draws and pots & pans ...
There should be a controlled environment in which to explore and be loved...
Without threats of discipline.
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  #12  
Old Apr 7, '14, 10:36 am
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DanielJT DanielJT is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

You're doing fine.

It is tough to be a two-year-old, still learning so much but starting to feel like they want to be more independent. And on top of that there are things they want to do but just can't. Very frustrating for them and the people trying to help and teach.

Consistency in the face of turbulence and always reminding her that you love her (not necessarily with words) sounds like what you are doing and that's all that can be done.

Stick to it, we all need reminders on how to be. Imagine how God feels when we are back in the confessional making the same confession we made last time.

I like to think he feels love.

Keep it up!
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  #13  
Old Apr 11, '14, 9:50 am
Boy Wonder Boy Wonder is offline
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Default Re: Discipline and 2 year old

She's a normal 2 year old. Be consistent. Don't expect to be able to change too much at this young age. She'll outgrow most of the behavior you described.
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