Kid quotes

pira114 · #1 Jan 10, '06, 5:48 am

Thought these were funny. Any others?

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"
>
> One child answered, "Mary."
>
>The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
>
>A little kid said, "Verge."
>
>Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
>
>The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about
>
>Verge n' Mary.''
>
>*************************************
>
>KIDS IN CHURCH
>
>3-year-old, Reese:
>
>"Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
>
>Amen."
>
>***********************************
>
>A little boy was overheard praying:
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>"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. >
>
>I'm having a real good time like I am."
>
>*************************************** ***
>
>After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the
>way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times
>what was wrong.
>
> Finally, the boy replied,
>
>"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I
>wanted to stay with you guys."
>
>************************************* *
>
>I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer
>for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from
>the prayer.
>
>Finally, she decided to go solo.
>
>I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the
>end of the prayer:
>
>"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail.
>
>************************************* **
>
>One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as
>we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
>
>*************************************** **
>
>A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to
>church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
>
>One bright little girl replied,
>
>"Because people are sleeping."
>
>************************************* *
>
>Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together
>in church.
>
>Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
>
> Finally, his big sister had had enough.
>
>"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
>
>"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
>
>Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two
>men standing by the door?
>
>They're hushers."
>
>************************************
>
>A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3.
>
>The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
>
>Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
>
>"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first
>pancake, I can wait.'"
>
>Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
>
>
>*************************************** ***********
>
>A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran
>up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay
>dead in the sand.
>
>"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
>
> "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
>
>The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
>
> ***********************************
>
>A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their
>six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
>
>"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
>
>"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
>
>The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all
>these people to dinner?"
>
>

joyfulmess · #2 Jan 10, '06, 9:29 am

Cute

Fashina86 · #3 Jan 10, '06, 10:11 am

! I loved them

Laura

icequeen · #4 Jan 10, '06, 10:15 am

Kids are so cute!

turboEDvo · #5 Jan 10, '06, 1:16 pm

Kids freaking rock!!!! I'm sure I had a few...

Eamon

Fashina86 · #6 Jan 10, '06, 1:18 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by turboEDvo

Kids freaking rock!!!! I'm sure I had a few...

Eamon

what? kids or funny quotes?

Laura

b_justb · #7 Jan 10, '06, 1:21 pm

Dad: Who wrote the book of Jude?
8 yr old kid: I don't know.
Dad: OK. Who's burried in Grant's tomb?
8 yr old kid: Grant.
Dad: Right. So, who wrote the book of Jude.
8 yr old kid: It sure wasn't Grant.

silkycath · #8 Jan 11, '06, 1:15 am

Wow.. great collection

How innocent..

Lovely childhood...

I love the dinner one...
Are they all true...

turboEDvo · #9 Jan 11, '06, 1:16 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fashina86

what? kids or funny quotes?

Laura

I would be sincerely worried if I had kids at this point...

Eamon

silkycath · #10 Jan 11, '06, 1:51 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by turboEDvo

I would be sincerely worried if I had kids at this point...

Eamon

Would you.. oh!?

Poor you.. always get into trouble.. always ridiculed.. *pity on u*

joyfulmess · #11 Jan 11, '06, 7:24 am

This is a funny story and yes it's TRUE.

My little girl was 3 and a half. Everytime she sneezed we said "Bless you". One day she sneezed a big sneeze and she looked at us in astonishment and said "Wow! My bless you almost made me spit my tongue out!"

It was really funny.

auppie · #12 Jan 11, '06, 12:17 pm

When I was 16, I stayed with some close friends of the family during spring break because my parents went to Reno. The friends had a 2 yr old little boy, who knew me very well. This little boy also threw fits when mom & dad would try to go out for the evening, so he didn't have too many babysitters.

So while I was there, the mom asked me if I would mind watching him. Her husband is an optometrist, and several area optomitrests and their spouses would get together for dinner once a month, and because of the babysitter problem, she could never go.

The evening of this dinner, my parents called to say hi & check in. They were getting ready to go see a Doug Hennings show, who was at that time my favorite magician. I said to them, "Oh! I wanna go!"

The little boy, who was watching tv and playing with his cars at the time, stood up, turned around, hands on his hips and said..."You have to stay here until Momma and Dad get back!"

Another story:
When my son was little, he would love to go out to the little airport and watch the planes take off and land. My mom came with me one time, and as we were leaving, we were having some conversation. When we pass the control tower with the wind sock, my son blurts out, "Look at the big Cheeto!" (yes, the windsock was the color of Cheetos).

SueKrum · #13 Jan 11, '06, 12:41 pm

when I was little, here's how I would say the Lord's prayer

"our father, who arn't in heaven, how though it be thy name..." I would look at my dad while I prayed because he was my father who was not in heaven and wonder who he was talking to because his dad was dead.

here was my pledge,
"I pledge legens to the flag of the United states of America. and to the republicans, for whitches stand, one nation, under God, invisable, with loberty and justace for all."

I wish I could remember the campagn song I wrote for G B sr. when I was in the second grade.

I heard a funny one in church once too. a priest was telling of a little boy who drew a picture of the nativity. there was a fat man standing off to the sidde. the priest asked the boy who that was and he said, "that's round john vergin." LOL

Fashina86 · #14 Jan 11, '06, 5:48 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by turboEDvo

I would be sincerely worried if I had kids at this point...

Eamon

me too!

Laura

joyfulmess · #15 Jan 11, '06, 8:27 pm

When my daughter brings my little grandson to mass, she usually packs a little something for him, just in case he gets antsy. He's 4. Well this one Sunday she let him pack a small cloth bag with a couple of things. During mass he pulled out these little binoculars and held them up to his eyes. He was very quiet and after about 10 minutes of this, I finally asked him why he was diong that. He said "Mommy said I should always keep my eyes on Jesus"