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Old Jan 11, '12, 5:24 pm
TBenedicta TBenedicta is offline
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Join Date: April 22, 2011
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Default prayer request- medical school wife

Hello All,

I'm here to ask that you all pray for my husband's and my situation. We have been married one year and my husband is currently in his first year of medical school. I graduated from undergraduate in September 2010 and, really, since then, have been unable to find even an entry level professional position. (I had been seeking a job in the non profit sector- specifically: research and development; my degree is in Comparative Literature.)

We moved to our current city in August and I was blessed to find my current position as a nanny. BUT. (1) the job pays very little, especially as compared to the cost of my husband's medical school tuition (which is upwards of $40k/year). (2) my husband and I had originally anticipated that I would obtain a job immediately after graduating, and would then work until we'd saved enough money to start a family, when I would then stay at home with our child(ren). Obviously that didn't happen. Saving money is nearly impossible with the nanny position, even factoring in the fact that we live very simply. (3) This job is not what I want to be doing in life. I'm in the odd position of raising another woman's children while being unable to afford children myself. I'm not utilizing any of the skills I learned during my years in the workforce. I don't have health insurance or sick days. (4) I feel really, really guilty for being so dissatisfied with my job. As someone who's been unemployed, I know that the job market is fierce right now and I should be grateful. But I just can't help how I feel, which is hopeless. Every year that my husband is in school, we are down another $40k. Meanwhile, we won't be able to start a family until possibly after he finishes residency and I feel purposeless, working a job I'm dissatisfied with for a wage that barely pays our rent. I feel confused as to why God has me in this place in life, which is unlike anything I envisioned for myself as a kid.

I have been praying for a more grateful attitude and a mindfulness of the many blessings I have... but also for a new job, if that is within God's will.

Thanks for reading!
Old Jan 11, '12, 7:20 pm
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IrishRush IrishRush is offline
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Default Re: prayer request- medical school wife

Prayers offered.
May I suggest getting your teaching certificate. At least then you would be able to put your knowledge from your degree to use. And it will likely pay much better, as well as have benefits.
Or possibly see if there is work available at whatever hospital his medical school is associated with.
Good luck to you and your husband in all your endeavors!
Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen.
Luke 24:6
Old Jan 12, '12, 3:43 pm
dixieagle dixieagle is offline
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Default Re: prayer request- medical school wife

With your background, I would consider looking into becoming adept at grant writing, if you wish to work in the non-profit sector. Here is a link:

The Foundation Center is an invaluable resource.

I'll pray that you find a job that pays decently and utilizes your talents.
"A Boston College Eagle in the DEEP south"

My blog:
Old Jan 12, '12, 3:47 pm
Trishie Trishie is offline
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Default Re: prayer request- medical school wife

My prayers for you,
and may I suggest that you also post your request in Prayer Intentions, to hopefully encourage others' prayers for you, your family and your career.
May God bless and help you
Old Jan 17, '12, 10:36 am
insideitall insideitall is offline
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Default Re: prayer request- medical school wife

please don't take personal offense to any of this, but.. my eyebrows shot up when I read "comparitive lit" and "non-profit" - np is hard to find a job in to begin with, but mixing it with a liberal art.. no wonder you couldn't find anything. I'm amazed you both thought you'd be able to find something right away, honestly..

I have several questions for you to think about. I'm also assuming you're in america.

1) what is the cost of living for your part of the country?
2) if you are in a proper city (that is, with a metro area) are you in the cheapest town/county of that metro area? this is especially important with regards to housing, because rent/property taxes can be tremendously different once you cross one of those invisible lines. check out for all the info you could ever want.
3) are you in one of the smallest and therefore cheapest places available to rent?
4) do you both have debts? undergrad, your wedding, your car, credit cards, whatever?

most importantly,

5) if you owe money, why in the world would you think it makes sense to add 40k/year to that?? if you don't owe money, why in the world would you want to dig a 40k/year hole for yourselves?? check out - there are 14 public schools on that list where in-state tuition, fees, and health insurance total is under 20k/year, and an additional 9 that are between 20 and 25.

I would strongly suggest that your husband pick one of those cheaper schools, and then you both move asap to establish residency. even as out of staters, the cheaper ones are under or right around 40k. you can even look at schools in the carribbean (ross, for example) or canada (mcgill) if you feel adventurous!

as far as not liking your job, I wouldn't feel bad about that. you clearly appreciate that you were able to find one in the first place!

hope this helps some.
Old Jan 22, '12, 12:39 pm
Cactus Cactus is offline
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Default Re: prayer request- medical school wife

I have a friend in medical school that is being paid for by the Navy. While in school she's getting paid a decent stipend, doesn't have to do uniforms, gets time in service credit. She will be obligated upon receiving her MD to serve one year for each year of school paid for. It sounds like a good deal to have no school debt.
Old Jan 24, '12, 7:18 am
Katie966 Katie966 is offline
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Join Date: March 9, 2011
Posts: 438
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Default Re: prayer request- medical school wife

I think you might have to readjust your goals. After graduating and working in a job I hated for a year, I had to go back to school for a Master's before I could work in R&D (and my degrees were in a field more closely related). This wasn't an issue because I was not married and could do whatever I wanted.

You say that you feel "confused as to why God has you in this place in life"- but please remember that you chose to be where you are- God did not put you there. God didn't choose your degree, or force you to get married, or make your husband go to medical school. We create our own situations, because we have free will. We can ask for God's help to deal with the consequences of the choices we've made if we're having a hard time, but we're not helpless victims- and taking responsibility for our choices helps us to move on and deal with our lives as they are.

I would suggest looking for another job while you still have your nanny position. One with a higher wage, and benefits. However, I think you will need to lower your expectations about what that job might be, because the truth is if you find one you might not like it any more than you like your job now. If you and your husband have agreed to put him through medical school, then this is one of the many sacrifices that you will have to make due to that decision. Maybe you'll find a job you love- that would be great. But that's a bonus. You're not purposeless; you're helping your family. I also think it would be to your benefit to find a job with health insurance, because even though you might be planning on waiting for children, if you did get pregnant you'd be better off.

We all had a vision of what our lives would be like as an adult. I'd guess that few of us have lives that turned out exactly as we expected. But that's okay. Focus on how blessed you are to have a job, that your husband is driven and intelligent enough to be in medical school, that you found your husband to begin with. Look for another job but consider that you might be in this pattern of working at a job you don't like for awhile. You're in good company, believe me.

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