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  #1  
Old Mar 20, '17, 8:52 pm
18Gingasoldier 18Gingasoldier is offline
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Join Date: June 27, 2016
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Default My cousin married a divorcee who didn't seek annulment

So, my cousin married a woman in June 2016, she has divorced two times before, and to my knowledge she didn't seek an annulment. Her two daughters still visit their fathers on weekends, but I believe that's all the contact the woman and the fathers have.

She told me yesterday that she was pregnant (12 weeks), and I was very afraid they would have a baby, since my cousin and her are living in sin (I mean, they live together without being married in the Church, that's a sin, but she's committed adultery, and so has my cousin).
I talked to my cousin's father about it, and he told me that they talked to a priest who acknowledged that they couldn't marry in the church, but he still blessed the union. I am pretty sure a priest is not allowed to do that.

I am afraid of bringing that up, since if I do, both my cousin and her will surely get angry and not talk to me, and maybe the majority of the family, with the most religious members taking my side.
Her daughters are still young (One is 7 years-old, the other is 4 years-old), and I talk a lot with the oldest, and I don't want their mother to keep boundaries in fear of me telling her kids that their mother is sinning, thus making them think she's bad.
But even if she put the boundaries, I would not tell that their mother is sinning. One day, they will know the truth, though, since one of them will be entering a catequesis (not sure how I can translate that into English), the new baby most likely as well, and since my mother is a catequist, I don't think adultery will be skipped (they'll learn about adultery when they're 9-12 years-old, fortunately).

What can I do? I love them, but, every time I think of them, I remember my cousin and her civil wife are in danger of going to Hell. I'm not sure if they know that living together as a couple without being married in the Church is a sin, they don't seem to know. It's a delicate topic, I don't know what I can do.
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  #2  
Old Mar 20, '17, 9:43 pm
Catholic1954 Catholic1954 is offline
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Join Date: December 9, 2008
Posts: 6,482
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: My cousin married a divorcee who didn't seek annulment

Quote:
Originally Posted by 18Gingasoldier View Post
So, my cousin married a woman in June 2016, she has divorced two times before, and to my knowledge she didn't seek an annulment. Her two daughters still visit their fathers on weekends, but I believe that's all the contact the woman and the fathers have.

She told me yesterday that she was pregnant (12 weeks), and I was very afraid they would have a baby, since my cousin and her are living in sin (I mean, they live together without being married in the Church, that's a sin, but she's committed adultery, and so has my cousin).
I talked to my cousin's father about it, and he told me that they talked to a priest who acknowledged that they couldn't marry in the church, but he still blessed the union. I am pretty sure a priest is not allowed to do that.

I am afraid of bringing that up, since if I do, both my cousin and her will surely get angry and not talk to me, and maybe the majority of the family, with the most religious members taking my side.
Her daughters are still young (One is 7 years-old, the other is 4 years-old), and I talk a lot with the oldest, and I don't want their mother to keep boundaries in fear of me telling her kids that their mother is sinning, thus making them think she's bad.
But even if she put the boundaries, I would not tell that their mother is sinning. One day, they will know the truth, though, since one of them will be entering a catequesis (not sure how I can translate that into English), the new baby most likely as well, and since my mother is a catequist, I don't think adultery will be skipped (they'll learn about adultery when they're 9-12 years-old, fortunately).

What can I do? I love them, but, every time I think of them, I remember my cousin and her civil wife are in danger of going to Hell. I'm not sure if they know that living together as a couple without being married in the Church is a sin, they don't seem to know. It's a delicate topic, I don't know what I can do.
Pray. Pray. Pray. And you are correct, DO NOT EVER speak to you cousin's children about their mother's domestic situation. You are a good cousin to be concerned for her, but this is best left to the Holy Spirit to handle.
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  #3  
Old Mar 20, '17, 11:05 pm
MaryT777 MaryT777 is offline
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Join Date: November 23, 2012
Posts: 13,154
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: My cousin married a divorcee who didn't seek annulment

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Originally Posted by Catholic1954 View Post
Pray. Pray. Pray. And you are correct, DO NOT EVER speak to you cousin's children about their mother's domestic situation. You are a good cousin to be concerned for her, but this is best left to the Holy Spirit to handle.
Well said, You could be a loving presence in their lives and show your Faith by your actions, It's nice you are so concerned.

God Bless
you and everyone in this situation.

Mary.
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