I'm very sorry for all that you and your family have been going through. We here at Catholic Answers will keep your family in prayer and ask CAF readers to do so as well.
Homosexual acts are indeed sinful. God allows them to occur because he gave us free will, which means that humans have the free choice to engage in sinful behavior. Although homosexual orientation -- the attraction to members of the same sex -- is gravely disordered, in itself it is not sinful. Like any other temptation, homosexual orientation is a temptation that need not be acted upon. The Church says this about homosexuality:
The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition (CCC 2358).
Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection (CCC 2359).
I very much recommend that you call your local diocese to see if there is an Encourage
chapter near you. Encourage is a Catholic support group for family and friends of persons with same-sex attraction. It is the sister apostolate of Courage
, which helps those with same-sex attraction live chaste lives in accordance with Church teaching. If your son
is only thinking that he may be attracted to men, you might also want to call the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality
(NARTH). NARTH can give you a referral to a counselor in your area whom your son
might consult. You can also obtain referrals to orthodox Catholic counselors from the Pastoral Solutions Institute
and from CatholicTherapists.com