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  #1  
Old Jul 8, '09, 9:04 pm
PrairieMom PrairieMom is offline
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Default Another Head Covering Question

I've been browsing through previous threads regarding chapel veils, etc. I was curious if there were "rules" about how to wear one? Colours? Do they get attached? Do I put it on as I enter the Church or should it be on ahead of time?

Also, at what age do girls normally start wearing them?

Thanks!
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  #2  
Old Jul 8, '09, 11:06 pm
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MissMichal MissMichal is offline
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Default Re: Another Head Covering Question

There are no rules, I don't think, as long as one's head is covered in a meaningful way. I wear a bandana or scarf instead of a mantilla, with a few slightly nicer silk ones for Sundays (I cover about 75% of the time outside of Mass). I put those on when I get dressed and wear them all day. As far as mantillas go, they're kind of impractical outside of Mass, so when I wear one I put it on close to the start of Mass and take it off when I leave the chapel. My best way to keep them from slipping is to get an elastic headband the color of your hair and secure the mantilla to the headband with straight pins. Other women secure them with bobby pins or clips or just leave them loose. I've mostly seen black or brown mantillas on women with dark hair, and white or blue mantillas on women with lighter hair, but there's no rule about it. I've also seen mantillas in colors like yellow and pink, especially when young ladies celebrate their quinceanera.

As far as age is concerned, I've always kind of figured that a girl should start wearing a veil after she takes her first communion, but I've seen toddlers with little doilies, which might be a good way to teach them the habit. Again, no hard and fast rule. 1 Cor 11 specifies "women," which I assume would indicate at least reaching the age of reason, but there's no reason a little girl shouldn't wear one. Of course, if I had owned a mantilla when I was five, I never would have taken it off. You would have found me outside making mud pies in it. But I digress.

I love headcovering and get a lot out of it as a devotion, as I'm sure you will. Pax!

-S-
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  #3  
Old Jul 8, '09, 11:19 pm
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sparkielee sparkielee is offline
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Question Re: Another Head Covering Question

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Originally Posted by MissMichal View Post
There are no rules, I don't think, as long as one's head is covered in a meaningful way. I wear a bandana or scarf instead of a mantilla, with a few slightly nicer silk ones for Sundays (I cover about 75% of the time outside of Mass). I put those on when I get dressed and wear them all day. As far as mantillas go, they're kind of impractical outside of Mass, so when I wear one I put it on close to the start of Mass and take it off when I leave the chapel. My best way to keep them from slipping is to get an elastic headband the color of your hair and secure the mantilla to the headband with straight pins. Other women secure them with bobby pins or clips or just leave them loose. I've mostly seen black or brown mantillas on women with dark hair, and white or blue mantillas on women with lighter hair, but there's no rule about it. I've also seen mantillas in colors like yellow and pink, especially when young ladies celebrate their quinceanera.

As far as age is concerned, I've always kind of figured that a girl should start wearing a veil after she takes her first communion, but I've seen toddlers with little doilies, which might be a good way to teach them the habit. Again, no hard and fast rule. 1 Cor 11 specifies "women," which I assume would indicate at least reaching the age of reason, but there's no reason a little girl shouldn't wear one. Of course, if I had owned a mantilla when I was five, I never would have taken it off. You would have found me outside making mud pies in it. But I digress.

I love headcovering and get a lot out of it as a devotion, as I'm sure you will. Pax!

-S-
Usually I see white mantillas on girls and single women and black ones on married women. There are a few exceptions. I'm a single lady who doesn't wear a white mantilla. I bought a purple one shortly after I began attending the Latin Mass-both because it was my favourite colour and because of Lent. Around Easter I bought a pink one which I still wear-even though it's after Pentecost. One married woman in our community wears a brown mantilla and there's a little girl who wears a light blue one.

I noticed that there's a lady who comes to Mass by herself-unless she takes me to church-and wears a black mantilla. Do divorced women and/or widows wear black mantillas?

-sparkie
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  #4  
Old Jul 9, '09, 8:52 am
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Jacafamala Jacafamala is offline
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Default Re: Another Head Covering Question

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Originally Posted by sparkielee View Post
Usually I see white mantillas on girls and single women and black ones on married women. There are a few exceptions. I'm a single lady who doesn't wear a white mantilla. I bought a purple one shortly after I began attending the Latin Mass-both because it was my favourite colour and because of Lent. Around Easter I bought a pink one which I still wear-even though it's after Pentecost. One married woman in our community wears a brown mantilla and there's a little girl who wears a light blue one.

I noticed that there's a lady who comes to Mass by herself-unless she takes me to church-and wears a black mantilla. Do divorced women and/or widows wear black mantillas?

-sparkie
I think the colors used to mean something, but not anymore, really. White for unmarrieds, black for widows and married ladies.

Somebody jokingly told me if you're divorced, you wear grey.

Lots of girls at the Oratory here wear black. My oldest girl likes a black mantilla. She's only.. 14, almost.
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  #5  
Old Jul 9, '09, 8:59 am
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Jacafamala Jacafamala is offline
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Default Re: Another Head Covering Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by PrairieMom View Post
I've been browsing through previous threads regarding chapel veils, etc. I was curious if there were "rules" about how to wear one? Colours? Do they get attached? Do I put it on as I enter the Church or should it be on ahead of time?

Also, at what age do girls normally start wearing them?

Thanks!
They can wear little bonnets before they find their heads, and then once they find their heads, nothing until they're old enough to stop messing with the head covering, about 3 years or so, maybe. My 4 and 6 year olds wear a little dinner plate doily style with a clip. Of course it inevitably gets bunched up on top of their heads, like a little round Brillo pad.

The real tiny hair clips, smaller than these but like them in style work well. Just clip it at the top of the head. And in the same color as the mantilla.


Or the little metal ones that gymnasts use can be sewn into little girls mantillas. They stay put well. Or a hair comb sewn in works. Like this, only plain.



Or, you can just wear it without a fastener, let it slide and readjust it from time to time.
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"Her own parents did not really know her; and the angels would often ask one another, "Who can she possibly be?"

Louis De Monfort, True Devotion to Mary.

Put all the good works in the world against one Holy Mass.
They will be as a grain of sand beside a mountain.
St. John Vianney

Last edited by Jacafamala; Jul 9, '09 at 9:11 am.
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  #6  
Old Jul 9, '09, 9:13 am
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AdriannaJean AdriannaJean is offline
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Default Re: Another Head Covering Question

I don't want to start a huge debate here, I know that head covering is not required, but isn't discouraged either. I like the idea of covering my head, but I belong to a very liberal parish (not heretically so, just in the way of nobody receives the Eucharist in the mouth, wears head coverings and we have a rock band instead of a choir) and I don't want to give off a 'holier than thou' vibe. Thoughts?
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  #7  
Old Jul 9, '09, 9:31 am
PrairieMom PrairieMom is offline
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Default Re: Another Head Covering Question

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Originally Posted by AdriannaJean View Post
I don't want to start a huge debate here, I know that head covering is not required, but isn't discouraged either. I like the idea of covering my head, but I belong to a very liberal parish (not heretically so, just in the way of nobody receives the Eucharist in the mouth, wears head coverings and we have a rock band instead of a choir) and I don't want to give off a 'holier than thou' vibe. Thoughts?
I like the idea too, the only time I saw them in my parish is the one Tridentine Mass I went during the brief time it was offered (the priest who was doing it was part of the deanery and reposted by the military, and there hasn't been a replacement yet). I don't see them at "regular" mass.

I find that I'm becoming increasing concerned about modesty, and this seems to be part of it for me. I don't know if I want to cover my head all the time, but I think I would like to for Mass. I wouldn't be too worried about the "holier than thou" vibe: we all must do what we feel God has put in our hearts, right?

I have two daughters, a three year old and a baby. I was thinking that it would be appropriate to have them cover their head once they have First Communion.
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Old Jul 9, '09, 11:39 am
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Default Re: Another Head Covering Question

Scarves are a more low key option. They're also very much in style--and cheap--if you go to places like Target and Walmart. Very trendy. There are lots to pick from in the stores right now.
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Put all the good works in the world against one Holy Mass.
They will be as a grain of sand beside a mountain.
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  #9  
Old Jul 9, '09, 1:27 pm
daeve daeve is offline
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Default Re: Another Head Covering Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by AdriannaJean View Post
I don't want to start a huge debate here, I know that head covering is not required, but isn't discouraged either. I like the idea of covering my head, but I belong to a very liberal parish (not heretically so, just in the way of nobody receives the Eucharist in the mouth, wears head coverings and we have a rock band instead of a choir) and I don't want to give off a 'holier than thou' vibe. Thoughts?
In the winter, you could wear a beret. It covers your head and looks like something anyone would wear anytime. It's not too hot, so you could wear it from about October through March or April. In the warm months, you could wear some sort of little straw hat. A simple bandanna would work too. The only thing about a bandanna, is that people might assume you're wearing it because you were too lazy to wash your hair. I look like I should be washing floors when I wear a bandanna, so I don't. You could also take one and fold it into a wide headband. See how that looks and it might be an option for you.

I see a few ladies at Mass with hats of one kind or another. They do tend to be older ladies...we old ladies do a lot of things that may seem eccentric in younger women. I don't wear a head covering myself. When I was a kid, girls wore white chapel veils or mantillas, but black ones were for older girls and grown up women. We wore red beanies during the week, and hats or chapel veils on Sunday. In high school, I wore a beret for Mass at school and most Sundays during the year. You could find them made of fabric other than wool or felt back then. I knit a couple of them myself, out of soft not-wooly yarn.
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  #10  
Old Jul 9, '09, 2:35 pm
thankful4grace thankful4grace is offline
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Default Re: Another Head Covering Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by AdriannaJean View Post
I don't want to start a huge debate here, I know that head covering is not required, but isn't discouraged either. I like the idea of covering my head, but I belong to a very liberal parish (not heretically so, just in the way of nobody receives the Eucharist in the mouth, wears head coverings and we have a rock band instead of a choir) and I don't want to give off a 'holier than thou' vibe. Thoughts?
No one in my church or another church I frequently go to wear head coverings either and I struggled with this myself. I was also worried about how others would perceive this but remember reading a post from someone else who would pray to the Holy Spirit before going to mass. I do this every time now and it has helped me to focus on why I go to mass and it helps me to be more reverent. Now I cannot imagine entering church without wearing one. For me, it's also a reminder that Jesus is really present in the Blessed Sacrament. I have gotten a lot more out of mass since I've been wearing one.
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Old Jul 9, '09, 3:24 pm
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sparkielee sparkielee is offline
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Smile Re: Another Head Covering Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by AdriannaJean View Post
I don't want to start a huge debate here, I know that head covering is not required, but isn't discouraged either. I like the idea of covering my head, but I belong to a very liberal parish (not heretically so, just in the way of nobody receives the Eucharist in the mouth, wears head coverings and we have a rock band instead of a choir) and I don't want to give off a 'holier than thou' vibe. Thoughts?
I've belonged to a couple parishes like that-or at least they had guitar Masses instead of choir. I've sung in a few guitar Mass groups myself. Whether or not you'd be willing to be "caught dead" with a covering is up to you.

Maybe something that has a more contemporary look-such as a bandana or "silk" (or nylon) scarf might work. I used to wear something like that to one of my "liberal" parishes and it covered up my hair on a "bad hair day" as well as served as a "headcovering." But I wouldn't attend Mass wearing a baseball cap. It seemed to irreverent for Mass-even if it also covered up my wayward hair.

I'm glad you go to Mass somewhere. I hope there's a Latin Mass coming to your area soon.

-sparkie
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Old Jul 9, '09, 3:32 pm
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Smile Re: Another Head Covering Question

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Originally Posted by thankful4grace View Post
No one in my church or another church I frequently go to wear head coverings either and I struggled with this myself. I was also worried about how others would perceive this but remember reading a post from someone else who would pray to the Holy Spirit before going to mass. I do this every time now and it has helped me to focus on why I go to mass and it helps me to be more reverent. Now I cannot imagine entering church without wearing one. For me, it's also a reminder that Jesus is really present in the Blessed Sacrament. I have gotten a lot more out of mass since I've been wearing one.
I think wearing one helps me be more reverent too. Makes me feel privileged to be a woman so I can do this in the Catholic Church. (Kind of makes me wonder how the experience at the Traditional Mass would be different for a man.)

-sparkie
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Old Jul 9, '09, 3:40 pm
mamacita mamacita is offline
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Default Re: Another Head Covering Question

I am not a 'headcoverer' but have a story I'd like to share:

My DD (6yrs old) was misbehaving in Mass one Sunday while my DH was lectoring. I asked her quietly to be quiet and sit still. She didn't listen. So I whispered to her and said, "why can't you be good like those girls in front of you?" There were some girls ahead of us who are very well behaved and wear the mantillas. SO she says to me, "That's because they are 'little Mary's' and I'm not a little Mary!" I said to her, "What's a 'little Mary?" She says, "that's what those girls are!" (in her snooty voice!) So after Mass, I asked her why they were considered 'little Mary's' and she was not. She said to me, "Because mom, they wear those things on their head and I don't have one." I said, "So if you wear one of those you will behave?" She says, "yes mom, I promise" So I bought her one and had it blessed. She wore it and I'm not kidding, she's been behaving very well ever since. A friend of mine said, "I think I'll go buy them for the whole family, even the boys!" LOL!! (she was kidding of course).

I was told that the meaning behind the headcovering is because women are a temple of Christ like the Blessed Mother carried Jesus in her womb, is this why women cover their heads? I asked my grandma about it and she said, "that's not what I've heard, I heard that it was because we didn't want to mess up our hairdo." I laughed when she told me that because it certainly cannot be the REAL reason why they did it back then (and now).
I, too, thought that white was for virgins, black for married women. A friend of mine who attends the Latin Mass corrected me on that and said that that is not so. She said women usually try to match closest to their haircolor? Or that some women wear whatever color they want to.
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Old Jul 9, '09, 3:41 pm
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Default Re: Another Head Covering Question

You get used to it after a while. I'm at a more "traditional" parish. We use the communion rail. (It's awesome!) I had started to wear a mantilla (black, and I'm single, dunno if you consider 40 "young" tho'... I just happen to prefer black clothes - old "goth" girl that I am, hehehe) and I was self conscious, even though there are several other women who wear mantillas.

Funny thing tho'.. this past Sunday I ended up a life teen Mass at a more "modern" parish. For the first time since starting to wear one (about a month and a half ago) I felt comfortable and was not conscientious or feeling "holier than thou". After Mass I realized I was the only one wearing a mantilla. I got some looks, and one woman seemed eager to shake my hand during the sign of peace, almost as if she wanted to see who it was.

I find it amusing that I was feeling self conscious at my own parish which has women wearing mantillas, but when I finally didn't feel self conscious, I was the only one wearing one!

You get used to it. I don't know the rules, if there are any, as far as colours go or when to cover up. I just remember my grandmother (who ALWAYS wore one up until her death in the early 90's) would put it on right before she entered the church (there was a small vestibule area and it'd be on her head by the time she got into the "church" area past the vestibule) and take it off when she got outside. So... following her lead, that's what I do.

I have a relatively long one and I'm learning to wear it so that it doesn't slip and slide. I will adjust it periodically during the Mass. I almost gave up because I found myself so distracted from adjusting and worried that it would fall off. I'd use a head band but I get head aches easily, and I'd use a hair clip or bobby pins but I'm losing my hair so those don't stay on. I've learned to wear it and adjust it at my shoulders so the weight of it (it's light, tho') helps to keep it down a bit. But like I said I'm learning to wear it that it doesn't move as much. Maybe I'm just keeping my head still. LOL
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Old Jul 9, '09, 4:31 pm
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Wink Re: Another Head Covering Question

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I am not a 'headcoverer' but have a story I'd like to share:
..........I, too, thought that white was for virgins, black for married women. A friend of mine who attends the Latin Mass corrected me on that and said that that is not so. She said women usually try to match closest to their haircolor? Or that some women wear whatever color they want to.
My hair isn't pink or purple-lol! Just my mantillas. But I think the pink and the purple go good with many things I wear to church such as the purple tie-dye dress I sometimes wear to church.

-sparkie
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