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Old Dec 11, '05, 5:24 pm
johnsm johnsm is offline
New Member
Join Date: March 17, 2005
Posts: 7
Religion: Protestant
Default What do I do if my wife refuses to consummate our marriage?

My wife and I have been married for 16 months, but my wife still has not allowed a consummation of our marriage. I am not a Catholic but she is, so I am wondering if you have any information I can share with her.

Last edited by Michelle Arnold; Dec 15, '05 at 4:02 pm.
Old Dec 15, '05, 4:14 pm
Michelle Arnold's Avatar
Michelle Arnold Michelle Arnold is offline
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Join Date: May 3, 2004
Posts: 5,123
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: What do I do if my wife refuses to consummate our marriage?

The Church teaches that marriages must be both ratified (through vows) and consummated (through marital relations). The Church also teaches that you and your wife granted each other a right to marital relations when you married. Of course, such a right to relations should be exercised within a framework of consideration, respect, and generosity, and relations can be deferred for just cause (e.g., illness, physical frailty), but a legitimate request for relations should not be refused.

I recommend that you and your wife seek marital counseling to find out exactly what the reason is that your wife is unwilling to consummate the marriage and what can be done to treat this situation. If she is unwilling to go to counseling with you, I recommend going by yourself. You can obtain a referral to a Christian counselor from the Pastoral Solutions Institute,, and the St. Michael's Institute.

Recommended reading:

Impotence As Impediment by Jimmy Akin

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