Another thread is talking about the book Premarital Sex: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, And Think About Marrying. The dust jacket blub from my copy claims that it is “...the fullest portrait of heterosexuality among young adults ever produced.” And authors' basic conclusion is that young adults (ages 18-24) are having a very difficult time navigating the romantic waters that lead to marriage.
The authors, both American population research academics, look at 10 myths they uncovered about, well, marrying, mating and young adults:
Long-term exclusivity is a fiction - 50% of all marriages last a lifetime, and extramarital affairs are an issue in only a small minority of marriages
Sex is necessary in order to sustain a*new*or struggling relationship - they conclude that the sooner sex enters a relationship the sooner the relationship fail, and most relationships fail
The sexual double standard is wrong and must be resisted - while women enjoy sex as much as men, they don't perceive it the same way men do and they set higher standards for their relationships
Men live up to, or down to, the price of sex - if they can get sex cheaply/easily, they won't work for it, but if a committed relationship is the price, they will pay
People make their own decisions about sexuality regardless of what other people are doing - in other words, if everybody around you is having sex, it become really hard for you to do otherwise
Porn won’t affect your relationships - because so many men look at porn regularly it's shaping what the authors term "sexual market dynamics," putting real woman in the position of having to compete with porn stars.
Everyone else is having more sex than you are - young people generally overestimate exactly how much sex is actually going on around them
Sex can easily be "no-strings attached" - it's emotionally difficult for both sexes, but especially women, to engage in casual hook-ups
Marriage can always wait - the authors encourage young people who've met someone who's marriagable to think twice about not being ready to marry
Moving in together is a step toward marriage - living togather usually leads to a breakup with a few years
My only qualm is with #9. The authors included 18- and 19- year olds in their research, and as the mother of 10-year-old daughters I'm not sure if I want them married at that age, even if they're convinced they've met Mr. Right. But that's just me.
The rest of these myths, however, I'm seriously thinking into turning into a poster that I can hang in their room when they're 16. :)
What do you think about these myths?