17 Year Old Daughter


#1

My wife and 17 year old daughter think it is okay for her 19 year old boyfriend to spend the night at our house. He sleeps on the couch and she sleeps next to the couch on the floor. Tonight I had enough and had my daughter sleep in her room and him sleep dowstairs. Do you think I am right in doing this or should he not be able to sleep over at all?


#2

[quote="Gymrigert, post:1, topic:194200"]
My wife and 17 year old daughter think it is okay for her 19 year old boyfriend to spend the night at our house. **He sleeps on the couch and she sleeps next to the couch on the floor. **Tonight I had enough and had my daughter sleep in her room and him sleep dowstairs. Do you think I am right in doing this or should he not be able to sleep over at all?

[/quote]

What kind of a man sleeps on the couch while his lady sleeps on the floor?!


#3

[quote="flyingfish, post:2, topic:194200"]
What kind of a man sleeps on the couch while his lady sleeps on the floor?!

[/quote]

Good point.

But I wouldn't allow my daughter's boyfriend to spend the night either way.

The problem here is going to be your wife siding with your daughter.


#4

Agreed, not much of a man?!

I am not a parent, but I wouldn't let it happen. Sleeping in the same room? Ummm...

I'd say that sleepovers should only happen when the girl is 18, and if they stay in seperate rooms. As a guy I would insist it too, otherwise thats just disrespectful! :o

Good luck :thumbsup:


#5

[quote="Gymrigert, post:1, topic:194200"]
My wife and 17 year old daughter think it is okay for her 19 year old boyfriend to spend the night at our house. He sleeps on the couch and she sleeps next to the couch on the floor. Tonight I had enough and had my daughter sleep in her room and him sleep dowstairs. Do you think I am right in doing this or should he not be able to sleep over at all?

[/quote]

Your house, your rules.

If she was my daughter, I would have said no to the "sleepover" with the boyfriend.

And how can your wife allow this young man to sleep on the couch and her daughter on the floor. There is something wrong with this picture here.

Parents are suppose to teach their children and guide them, parents who try to become "best friends" with their kids only leads into confussion.

Just my 2 cents


#6

"Do you think I am right in doing this or should he not be able to sleep over at all?"

To answer your question, as we say in the old country, "HELL YES!!!" I have two daughters and two neices my wife and I help raise. Every boy in their school is scared of me, as they should be. My daughter's boyfriend can sleep over after he has married my daughter and not a second before.

I had a rocky youth and indulge in a rather liberal view of sex that would have condoned such things. I know now, better than ever how damaging such a thing as pre-marital and extra-marital sex can be.

I would suggest that you respectfuly and lovingly find a way to tell yourwife to take some change out of petty cash and buy a clue. You and your's are in my prayers.


#7

[quote="Gymrigert, post:1, topic:194200"]
My wife and 17 year old daughter think it is okay for her 19 year old boyfriend to spend the night at our house. He sleeps on the couch and she sleeps next to the couch on the floor. Tonight I had enough and had my daughter sleep in her room and him sleep dowstairs. Do you think I am right in doing this or should he not be able to sleep over at all?

[/quote]

Of course you are right to send them to separate rooms. Even more right would be to allow no sleepovers by the boyfriend.


#8

[quote="JimG, post:7, topic:194200"]
Of course you are right to send them to separate rooms. Even more right would be to allow no sleepovers by the boyfriend.

[/quote]

Amen!


#9

They should not be having sleepovers of any kind..Period..


#10

I could see him staying at the house with your permission in seperate rooms if there was a reason such as he was visiting from college, etc. However, him being in the same room overnight there is simply too much of an occasion of sin. Does he go to mass with your family?


#11

[quote="Gymrigert, post:1, topic:194200"]
My wife and 17 year old daughter think it is okay for her 19 year old boyfriend to spend the night at our house. He sleeps on the couch and she sleeps next to the couch on the floor. Tonight I had enough and had my daughter sleep in her room and him sleep dowstairs. Do you think I am right in doing this or should he not be able to sleep over at all?

[/quote]

My father-in-law fell for that and ended up with a pregnant 16-yr-old daughter, who married her 17-yr-old boyfriend, had a baby shortly after her 17th birthday, got pregnant again 18 months later, got divorced while 5 months pregnant, had her second baby, left both kids with Mom & Dad to raise while she "finally got to be a teenager," married again at 20, had her third baby at 21, and spent the ensuing 7 years trashing the rental house that her dad paid for and having Child Protective Services called in on her because her house was filthy and she was feeding the kids Mountain Dew and Doritos for breakfast.

If you love your daughter, kick that boy out of the house and tell him to get a job and an apartment and then you will reconsider allowing him to see your daughter, take your daughter to a dr. to be tested for STDs and pregnancy, and inform your wife and daughter that they are no longer living with a lily-livered coward and that there WILL be safety standards in this house for your minor children, including no sleep-overs with the loser boyfriends.


#12

I think you already lost this battle when you wimped out about the first sleepover. The post is confusing, exactly who is the parent here? No way in God’s green earth any guy is going to sleepover within 200 yards of my teenage daughter.


#13

Sorry, but I honestly think your wife has a screw loose. Why would she allow two teenagers with raging hormones who probably think they are “in love” to spend the night together in the same room? What does she think is stopping them from have sex?

No sleepovers until after they’re married. Period.


#14

I'd allow sleepovers with good reason . Like a long distance visit or something. Definitely not in the same room. And what's up with her sleeping on the floor?


#15

The only thing is preventing them from sleeping over won't stop them having sex if they choose. It doesn't have to be night, and you don't even have to be inside a house to have sex.


#16

While I consider myself one of the more easy-going posters on the forum (Not "pro-abortion" easy-going, just to make that clear), this is something I would definitely put an end to right now. I'm sorry, but approaching this from the perspective of the hormone-riddled adolescent guy I am, this just isn't wise.

Also, what is with this guy making the girl sleep on the floor? I mean, I know being chivalrous and such isn't as common as it used to be (sadly) but, come on. A real man let's the girl sleep on the couch, while he suffers the floor.

I suggest you put an end to this sleeping arrangement ASAP. If it's necessary that the boyfriend must spend the night, put him and your daughter in separate rooms.


#17

Right - they might still have sex. But I wouldn’t make it easy for them.

Just like if my child were terribly overweight, I wouldn’t go out and buy all of her favorite fattening foods and stack them up next to her bed. Could my child eat it away from home? Sure. But how totally unloving to have it all right there for the taking and expect her to have the willpower to say no.

And a teenager having sex has a MUCH greater ramification than eating a bag of chips and some cookies.


#18

[quote="yellowbird, post:17, topic:194200"]
Right - they might still have sex. But I wouldn't make it easy for them.

Just like if my child were terribly overweight, I wouldn't go out and buy all of her favorite fattening foods and stack them up next to her bed. Could my child eat it away from home? Sure. But how totally unloving to have it all right there for the taking and expect her to have the willpower to say no.

And a teenager having sex has a MUCH greater ramification than eating a bag of chips and some cookies.

[/quote]

Exactly.

AND I wonder if the situation isn't also leading to your daughter's reputation being tarnished. What happens if and when they breakup and this boyfriend tells all his buddies that you the parents allowed this sleeping arrangement to take place?


#19

[quote="yellowbird, post:17, topic:194200"]
Right - they might still have sex. But I wouldn't make it easy for them.

Just like if my child were terribly overweight, I wouldn't go out and buy all of her favorite fattening foods and stack them up next to her bed. Could my child eat it away from home? Sure. But how totally unloving to have it all right there for the taking and expect her to have the willpower to say no.

And a teenager having sex has a MUCH greater ramification than eating a bag of chips and some cookies.

[/quote]

Do you think it would be "easy" to have sex in the living room of your parents' house with the parents inside?!

It seems it would be much easier to have sex if they were just visiting each other (or a friend) while the parents were at work. If they went out on a picnic in a secluded area. In a car. In an empty staircase or back of movie theater before it fills up etc.

Sleeping in a house full of people in the living room would not be high up on my list of private places.


#20

but sleeping over can present a temptation, and putting yourself in an occasion of sin is already a sin. It’s like asking, how close can you get to the cliff before falling down…

if it’s necessary for the guy to sleep over, they should sleep in separate rooms


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