My fiance and I are kinda trying to figure this out. His sister © is one of my best friends. She actually got us together. I love her like a sister. Heres the problem…I have another best friend (B) that I want to be my matron of honor too. The sister of my fiance thought she was going to be it since we are best friends and her brother will be the groom. My friend B would be the one I would feel more comfortable with giving the brides toast and just making sure everything was ready for the wedding and I would feel alot better about the bridal shower if she was the one throwing it for me. Is it ok to have two matrons of honors?? I don’t want to hurt her feelings telling her I want B to do it too. I really don’t know what to do and neither does my fiance. Please help!
That’t not a bad idea in my mind. There aren’t any religious rules against it… the only thing will be that one of them will be an official witness on the marriage documents and the other will not. Both can be witnesses but then the groom’s side will not have a witness. I am sure being the witness on the documents isn’t a huge deal anyways.
I was the best woman at my best friend’s wedding ( a guy, and I am a girl ). And his bride had a man of honour. Switching around from tradtional roles is fine. It might confuse the priest and the people at the ceremony but who cares!
Cool idea in my opinion.
Just an additional thought. If you only chose one of them to be the matron/maid of honour, the other would be a bridesmaid, and it’s not like the bridesmaid isn’t as involved. Most weddings I have been in, the maid of honour role was more of a symbol. One of my bridesmaids did 10 times the work and was 10 times more involved than my maid of honour. The matron of honour doesn’t HAVE to be the one who gives the speech. It can be the bridesmaid too or both.
It’s never easy eh?
I think having 2 would be fine. My take on weddings is this: it’s your special day, so do what you want (within Church guidelines, of course).
People probably thought we were crazy for having 8 bridesmaids and 8 groomsmen, but we didn’t care. We wanted all those people included in that way.
**Since you mention that you don’t want to hurt friend A’s feelings (your soon to be SIL) maybe friend B would be more open to helping you come up with a solution?
If she is the type you can bring this up with, brainstorm with her to see what might work in this situation. Some ideas that come to mind for me are
Sit down and talk with friend A (informally!) about what her ideas of a matron of honor’s role is
Make friend A your official matron of honor (and have her be the legal witness) but tell her that friend B has had her heart set on participating in your wedding planning, especially hosting your shower party and you’d like to make her feel included
If you have to choose one, without more info I choose friend A since she will also be family. Whether or not hurt feelings would be justified if she weren’t chosen (or had to share her duties) it could make things difficult in your new married life
But those are just the thoughts off of the top of my head. My first thought was actually how lucky you are to have 2 very good friends!!!
Remember, the wedding police are not going to fine you if someone other than the Maid of Honor gives a toast at the reception.
There’s no reason you can’t do it, just as Sina said only one of them will be able to sign the marriage license (if that’s required in your state). I had both of my sisters as maids of honor when I got married. We’re three girls in 4.5 years with no brothers and we’ve always been very close, so there was no way I was going to choose between them. The only other thing to work out is where to seat them for the ceremony. Our priest was all bent out of shape that I wanted 2 people up on the altar with me, and where was he going to get an extra kneeler, etc (not a very flexible guy), so work that out early. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
I don’t think there’s any problem with having two!
The only issue will be in the official “witness” on the marriage certificate. Personally, I’d choose your future SIL because she’s family… but that’s just me…
Still have 2 matrons of honor, though!
Actually, my sister is getting married next month… I’m the Matron of Honor, and our other sister is the Maid of Honor… so she technically has 2 also…
(BTW… I’m going to look awfully “matronly” sporting a pregnancy, LOL!)
Looking back I wish I had officially done this when I got married… I choose one sister as my Maid of Honor, and the other as a Bridesmaid. I really should have given both the “honor”… looking back.
Go for it!
I’m going to be a pregnant Matron of Honour in a wedding next month too! It has actually been hard as I was ill for the first 3.5 months of pregnancy and wasn’t really up for much wedding planning. This weekend is the stagette/bachelorette party. The wedding is on February 29th. Leap year! The bride and groom think it’s hilarious!
We had three flower girls! I don’t see why not, but, one does have to be the official one. Cause it’s she that signs the official wedding witness certificates for both the church and state. So if ya want two in that place of honor for all things else, fine, but stick with one to be the “official” the one who will be the actual witness and document signer.
Call them “Friends of Honor” and no one will have a different “title”. I see no problem at all. Better to have the people who mean the most to you in those roles than to just fill a slot with a body because it happens to be the right gender. :rolleyes:
Sounds like it will be a wonderful and love filled day!
There is nothing in the etiquette books against it- in fact, it’s recommended by Miss Manners!! So, go for it. Just don’t leave more people up fornt than in the pews.