25 Year Old Marrying A 14 Year Old!


#1

I was reading on another forum about a guy who was 25 at the time married a 14 year old in 1980. From my understanding in New York, this is legal, still!

I find this very disturbing, and lately I am trying to be nice to everyone (love your enemies) but this guy makes me mad and he’s trying to tell me this is ok! I guess i’m being a little mean in my responces. But for a 25 year old to marry a child and go on their “honeymoon” when the girl is 13-14, I cannot understand how this guy says this is ok.

Is it wrong for me to be debating this if I’m a little cruel in my responses. This guy is beyond weird, and for him to be proud of this. I frequent this other board a lot and he seems like he is there just to anoy people. Should I stay all calm while he posts stuff like this (there is more besides this issue) and ignore it?

Because it is extremely hard to do.


#2

Canon law also sets the age of 14 as the minimum for girls:

Canon 1083 §1 A man cannot validly enter marriage before the completion of his sixteenth year of age, nor a woman before the completion of her fourteenth year.


#3

[quote=Catholic2003]Canon law also sets the age of 14 as the minimum for girls:
[/quote]

That is just sick…children marrying children or children marrying adults…sick!!!
In regards to NY law…
New York: If you are 16 or 17 years of age, you will need to have a completed parental consent form filled out by both parents. If you are either 14 or 15 years of age, you will need to show the written consent of both parents and a justice of the Supreme Court or a judge of the local Family Court. Applicants under 14 years of age cannot marry. Only one parent’s consent will be accepted if one parent is deceased or has been missing for over a year, or if one parent has full custody from a divorce proceeding. Your parents or guardians must give their consent in person before the town or city clerk or some other authorized official. If they are out of state, a notarized affidavit is acceptable but has to be accompanied by a certificate of authentication when the consent is filed in New York State
Another fun fact:
Other situations - Pregnant Teens: Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Maryland and Oklahoma allow pregnant teens or teens who have already had a child to get married without parental consent. In Florida, Kentucky, and Oklahoma, the young couple must have authorization from a court. Maryland requires that the minor be at least 16.


#4

Mary was about 13 when she married Joseph,

And 14 years old historically been a marriageable age for girls.


#5

that may be true, but a kid in 7th grade marrying a 25 year old… Nothing can ever make that ok in my mind… It just seems so wrong.

I guess if they were born maybe 2, 3 or maybe 4 years apart it wouldn’t be as bad. But a fully grown man marrying someone who probably hasn’t even reached puberty yet?


#6

[quote=Steven87]that may be true, but a kid in 7th grade marrying a 25 year old… Nothing can ever make that ok in my mind… It just seems so wrong.

I guess if they were born maybe 2, 3 or maybe 4 years apart it wouldn’t be as bad. But a fully grown man marrying someone who probably hasn’t even reached puberty yet?
[/quote]

Well, it just doesn’t seem right to me.

If a 16 year old male and a 14 year old female were to married with parental consent, than it’s just not my bee’s wax.


#7

I agree it doesn’t sound right. If, on the other hand, they remain married more than 20 yrs later, who are we to judge that which is and was legal, and even OK by Canon Law.

As a point of clarification, 14 yr old’s are typically in 8th or 9th grade, not 7th (I should know, I’m the mother of a 13 yr old who is going into 8th grade, and she’s not young for her group of peers at school).

Also, 14 yr olds are typically post-pubescent, even back in 1980. Now, puberty for girls is even earlier on average.

But even with all that, I don’t like the idea. Just hoping I can give you some food for thought that might help you in keeping things charitable.

CARose


#8

I know that 14 year old girls have been married in the past, but I think we live in a different situation. In the US, we have an incredibly long juvenile period. We don’t expect people to be really mature until long after they are 14, and most young people in our culture don’t become mature for a long time after that. I’ve known people past the age of 20 who still live with their parents and don’t have much idea of how to take care of themselves. A 14-year-old girl in the United States today may be as (or more) physically mature than a 14-year-old girl in a different historical circumstance, but she probably isn’t as emotionally or psychologically mature.


#9

[quote=Steven87]that may be true, but a kid in 7th grade marrying a 25 year old… Nothing can ever make that ok in my mind… It just seems so wrong.

I guess if they were born maybe 2, 3 or maybe 4 years apart it wouldn’t be as bad. But a fully grown man marrying someone who probably hasn’t even reached puberty yet?
[/quote]

Did you fall off the rutabaga truck as it puttered by? Girls are reaching puberty several years before 14, and the rate is continuing lower.

And by the way, most kids are 14 when they enter high scholl, so she’s a couple of grades older than you place her.


#10

Jerry Lee Lewis, where are you? :whistle:


#11

I got married when I was about 25.

Just think, if I’d married that young, then right now I could have been married to a hot, young, 37-year old. Woo hoo!

Alan


#12

[quote=Brendan]Mary was about 13 when she married Joseph,

And 14 years old historically been a marriageable age for girls.
[/quote]

So since Mary married at 13 that makes it ok for kids today? I know I would not want my two kids to marry at 14 let alone 13…let me rephrase that…I would never allow it!!


#13

[quote=Catholic2003]Canon law also sets the age of 14 as the minimum for girls:
[/quote]

Canon 1083 §1 A man cannot validly enter marriage before the completion of his sixteenth year of age, nor a woman before the completion of her fourteenth year.

Just to clarify, this would make her 15 not 14.


#14

[quote=martino]Canon 1083 §1 A man cannot validly enter marriage before the completion of his sixteenth year of age, nor a woman before the completion of her fourteenth year.

Just to clarify, this would make her 15 not 14.
[/quote]

14 or 15 still not right!


#15

[quote=martino]Canon 1083 §1 A man cannot validly enter marriage before the completion of his sixteenth year of age, nor a woman before the completion of her fourteenth year.

Just to clarify, this would make her 15 not 14.
[/quote]

Actually that would make her 14. As our first year of life is year 0.

When you turn 1, that means you are starting your second year.

So a 14 year old would be living their 15th year.

This is a cultural thing and not easily discussed. But it is worth noteing that most states that have these young ages also state that parental consent is necessary.


#16

OK, so if they were just having sex and not married, he could be charged with statuatory rape–even if she consented to the sex, because he’s supposed to be mature and she’s not. But it’s OK for them to be married? How is she mature enough to be married to a 25 year old, but not mature enough to just have sex with him?


#17

Thanks to all who participated in this discussion.
This thread is now closed.


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