29 yr old woman studying a Degree vs preparing for Marriage

Yes, I know a nurse who has three kids and is raising them herself because her husband suddenly died at a young age.

I don’t think any profession is more “family friendly”. You should choose a profession based on your skills and what you would enjoy doing most if you had to work. Also, consider whether you will actually be able to get a job with whatever degree you get.

I can also tell you that here in the USA, there is a demand for nurses and it’s going to get bigger as the population ages and more people need medical care. By contrast, there is an oversupply of teachers. One of my relatives got a teaching degree and never worked as a teacher because the jobs just weren’t there (the available jobs tended to have bad working conditions) and they had a family to support. They worked as a plumber and later in heavy industry.

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I’m kind of confused by this thread. Even if you decide to stay home with any hypothetical kids while they’re small, eventually they’ll be starting school. Wouldn’t you want to have the option to go back to work once you’re not a full time caregiver?

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She said she would prefer to stay home and homeschool the kids while her future husband makes money.

Additionally, there are SAHMs who would prefer not to work and want to stay home full time. I know some who have never held a job since they were married, except maybe babysitting in their home for a relative, that sort of thing.

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Before you decide to leave school, you need to meet your husband first. You may meet the perfect man, and he may expect you to work. You may meet a man who doesn’t want you to work but stay home. I am the same age as you, I met my husband 12 years ago. I started college but as we got more serious and then decided to marry I stopped pursuing my degree, he pursued his while I worked to pay the bills. Now he’s an engineer and we have children so I don’t work. This is what we both ultimately wanted.

I never finished my 4 year degree, but got a 2 year degree from community college, just to have something. My husband has had some health problems, now things are looking up but it is an added stress that I could not replace his income, if he ever stopped working. All things to think about.

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You never know what the future might hold.

From never marrying, to marrying someone who has an unemployment situation happen, to marrying someone who dies, to running into financial situations that require both spouses to work, to finding out after you’re married that you don’t ever get pregnant, and on and on and on. I’m not saying those things will happen to you, but they’ve happened to someone who also thought they would have a stay at home mom future. And they ended up in the workforce instead.

Education is the number one factor in most jobs these days, and having an education is a serious means of increasing income and supporting yourself in the event that you must do so. Most single mothers are in poverty, because most are uneducated. Do not sell your education short.


In the words of my grandma, “Men die. A degree is forever.”


I regret that I have but one thread to give to this Like. :wink:


Rather than thinking of it as “dropping my children off at school to drive down the road to teach other children at a different school”, you could think of it as “dropping my children off at a school where they will be taught chemistry by somebody with a degree in chemistry in a properly equipped chemistry lab while I use my specialised skills as a primary or elementary teacher teaching primary or elementary children.”

As a late-night comedian quipped, “If there is anything this crisis has taught us, it is that teachers should be paid a bazillion dollars. Even the bad ones.”

(Not a slam against home-schoolers, by the way. Just an acknowledgment that it requires a calling and that it’s a career, whether you are paid for it or not.

Dear one,

You are trying to solve problems that don’t exist yet.

I commend you for knowing what you like, what you want, and what you believe. These musings will help to choose a good match.

But how old will you be in ten years if you don’t get a degree? The same age.

Likewise, how old will you be in ten years if you aren’t married by then? The same age.

And how old will you be in ten years if all of your dreams come true? The same age.

Be here now.

Also, Be.



Don’t be like the 40-year-old (not me; but I knew her) who wouldn’t buy a house or save for retirement because “he” might rather live somewhere else or handle the money. There was no “he” on the horizon. She just didn’t dare to make large decisions while she waited for her “real” life to arrive.

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

Besides, for all you know, you might meet your true love in college, or at work!

Lots of good advice in this thread.



So…do the teachers get up at 5:00 a.m. on weekends, both Saturdays and Sundays, to be at work by 6:00 a.m.?

And do they get just one 15 minute break around 9 a.m., and one half-hour break around noon, and the rest of the time until 3:30, 4:00, or even later, work work work without stopping except for an occasional quick pottie break, taking phone calls (and being courteous ove rthe phone) while trying to do the work that the people are calling about? Are they on their feet during much of that time, or seated bent over a desk and finding it hard to stand up straight after a long stretch of desk work? Do they have to work without sipping coffee or water while they work for the sake of safety?

I doubt it.

And frankly, I do not believe that most teachers are “making up exams and quizzes” and “preparing lessons,” and if they are… well… I think they are using lessons, worksheets, exams, and quizzes that have been prepared by professional educators (probably used by home-school organizations). If every teacher is making up their own lessons and exams, it’s no wonder there is such inconsistency across the country between classrooms, schools, and school districts.

Hey, I know there are good teachers, but in OUR city, children and teenagers are not learning squat. Their standardized test scores are shameful. And every stinkin’ year the teachers threaten to strike for still HIGHER wages and better benefits, and the taxpayers, held hostage, have no choice but to give in to their demands.

I’m not married, nor am I a mother (I might be, in the future) , but seeing this question made me wonder " so, do we decide which career to pursue based on the benefits to our children in the future?".

Also, I’m surprised that in this day and age, one questions the validity of education ( the age old stereotypical concept that education is a waste of time if one intends to get married). Sigh.

Yes. If my husband didn’t want to have kids he never would have got his degree. He would have stayed a maintenance man at McDonald’s, the job he worked in high school and then college. He still says it’s the best job he’s ever had. :laughing:

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I should hope that any person who is married or plans to be would take this into account. It’s just common sense to anticipate how you are going to support your future family.

I went back to school after I was married partly because I was not sure how I would pay for a good school for my future children on what we were making. We ended up not having children for medical reasons, but I didn’t know that was going to happen.


@Tis_Bearself @ZemD what I meant to say is, whether or not one wants to get married (and have kids), it’s necessary to get education. :slightly_smiling_face:

You really are showing your ignorance about teaching and teachers in these statements you’ve made.

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I’m sure that in other places in the U.S. and the world, public school teachers are deserving of high praise.

Wise woman, your grandma.

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I think this discussion is out of place. Perhaps focus on the question at hand?

Good plan!

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She got her wisdom by having her own father die when she was four and then having her own husband die, leaving her alone to raise three children on an 8th grade education.

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I don’t agree.

Your diploma will become obsolete before your husband die.

For the statistics, a person with more education than the baccalaureate will know less employement periods than a person with less than the baccalaureate.

But for exemple if a woman had not work for years (for eg a master’s degrere), she will not find easily a work according to her diploma, and would not be more advantaged than a woman with a baccalaureate in most cases.

Of course if she wants to be a teacher, she can achieve that whereas a woman with a baccalaureate will not be able, but it will be hard.

In the country where I live it said that a diploma become obsolete after 3 years without having working on it. A professional diploma become obsolte more quickly than a general one.
For eg, I have a master’s degree validated almost a decade ago. I have never worked on this level. Now I am out of work since a few years. If I go to the market again, I will only can pretend on the jobs that don’t need a diploma. The only exeption would be jobs that need a level such as teaching, but I am not interested.

I would say: no one.

Having a spare time job when after you come home you don’t have to work again would be more family friendly!

if you really want an answer, I would say teaching, because at least you don’t have to work on weekend and extensed hours.

Yet i think many people, including in this threat have a misconception of what teaching requiere. It is not only working when your child is a school and then being available for him after. Nothing can be more false than that!

By teaching, you will have regular meetings with the collegues, with the parents. Often late in the evening. You will need to work more outside the classroom than in the classroom to prepare your lessons.
So you will need to have your children babysitted when you worked or cared by your spouse.
It will also better to have a separate room to work at home. (between having one more children and a place to work some families have to decided, believe me).

But I think you are taking the wrong approach. You should choose a job according to your gifts and possibilities, not only because of more spare time. For teaching, especially!

The better choice in your situation may be to continue the cursus you have began. You don’t have a husband yet.

Being a stay at home and homeschooling mother is a choice very different than being a mother who work outside the home.
It can be done if the husband have enough job’s stability and income. But you don’t need to be wealthy to do it. Iit is probably better to come marriage with no heavy debts to have the choice.

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