34 and never dated yet


#1

I came into the Church when I was about 25, but didn't get confirmation until now-I'm in RCIA clases to recieve the Sacrament of Confirmation this comming Easter.

But even before I became Catholic=I never dated at all. I was in- no man's land-spirtiually speaking for the first 25 years of my life.

So how can I know what my vocation is? Should I just wait until I recieve the Sacrament of Confirmation?

Should I try online dating?

But I don't like that online dating stuff, honestly....

Any advice or suggestions???

Thanks.....


#2

Hello, Jason. Well, it would first be helpful to know why you have never dated before (shyness, lack of interest...?). But no, you certainly do not have to wait until after you are confirmed to pursue a relationship!


#3

yeah, I’m kind of shy and I’m overweight, but I go to the gym now and am working on that…


#4

Spend time with our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, either before the Tabernacle, or during adoration. Ask Him to reveal your vocation to you. Pray and be patient. Oh, keep working out, too!


#5

I'm in my early 30's so I can sympathize a bit. I think you should follow po18guy's advice as well as simply get involved in the community by volunteering and join some sort of young people's group. I know Singles for Christ which is ran through the organization called Couples for Christ, is a great way to get connected with single Catholics like yourself. Each city has different young people's groups so you might have to do some investigation by calling your local diocese, asking your priest or you might have to go to a neighboring cities as well. For an instance, there is nothing in my city for single Catholics but the bigger city has everything. An hour drive and I'm connected. You could also try to volunteer somewhere and see where that leads.

The online dating sites are also good. I've dabbled a bit with them myself. I suggest that you stick to some of the Christian ones such as Christian Cafe (I've met several people who have found their spouses through it), Christianmingle are good ones. The Catholic ones I haven't yet tried but they seem to be good. Eharmony is also good. I once met someone through that. Things didn't work out but it was because there was no chemistry. The website did a great job selection wise. He was a great guy.

One of the things I learned about vocations is the importance of prayer, experience and simple trial and error. Sometimes you just need to be willing to ask a girl out for a casual coffee at a Tim Horton's or a Starbucks. If you are curious about the other vocations, you can always do some research such as interview a few priests of various ages ex someone young as well as someone older, you can look up websites, read some books and visit some orders. Often God reveals his calling through simple experiences. Vocation basically has no age limit.

God knows his plans for us and He knows at what age we will be ready. I recently joined the Catholic church about 9 months ago so don't let this big step prevent you from exploring and experiencing the wonderful glory of God.


#6

May the two of you enter into discernment of God’s will for your lives. Each of you has an intended vocation, either to marriage, or to service of God. It may very well surprise you what He would be pleased with.


#7

Sometimes people can have both callings: marriage as well as serve God together. My former pastor and his wife are missionaries in the Ukraine. There are other local couples who are actively involved inside their churches. Sometimes it's not one or the other.


#8

[quote="jason3477, post:1, topic:268281"]
I came into the Church when I was about 25, but didn't get confirmation until now-I'm in RCIA clases to recieve the Sacrament of Confirmation this comming Easter.

But even before I became Catholic=I never dated at all. ...

Should I try online dating?

But I don't like that online dating stuff, honestly....

Any advice or suggestions???

Thanks.....

[/quote]

Not sure if you are a guy or gal. I was a guy of 33 who was in a similar boat. The prospects were dim to non-existent until I found out about the Catholic Alumni Club caci.org , an organizations of those college grads or professionals eligible for marriage in the church. They have three activities of participation: religious, social, and cultural. You can focus on one or participate in two or all three. I became active and met a lot of nice people and have a lot of great memories. The high point was the annual convention in San Diego [they go someplace different every year].

As a guy, I noticed right away that most girls in the club are looking for a husband, but most guys are interested in only socializing, so if you are a guy, there is not much competition; if you are a gal, well, it's a little more difficult, but don't be discouraged. It wasn't long before I met the gal I was to marry [actually, she found me]. We will have been married 35 years come next February.

Look for a chapter in your local area; some of them have relaxed the college degree rule and admit others. In any event, give them a try.

Good luck, and God bless.


#9

Dude…take up fasting to get the weight down and sign up for Catholic Match. Also look through Catholic groups on facebook…it works! It has worked for so many people that I know…including myself. I met this amazing woman through that service that agrees with all my traditional Catholic views and I am quite optimistic about the whole thing. Actually I didn’t even have a paid subscription. I just was browsing traditional catholics on Catholic Match without a subscription and then a few days later I happened to notice that she was on a traditional Catholic facebook group as well. I broke the ice and the rest is history…


#10

Yes, it can be both. What I meant was perhaps the consecrated religious life or marriage, or… What is important is that each of us, at the proper time, ponders our vocation.


#11

Here are some good things to do, Jason3477 (no particular order):
-Pray at least 10 solid minutes daily
-Examine your conscience daily, and confess your venial sins daily in prayer.
- Get a small holy water font that you can hang on your wall. Sprinkle yourself often, and pray for the Holy souls in purgatory.
-Go to confession at least once a month, even if you haven't any mortal sins (confess your venial sins)
-Receive the Eucharist as often as you can/ Visit our Blessed Lord in Adoration often
-Schedule an hour appointment to talk to your priest. Be in contact with him. He can help you!
-Keep a daily log of your ponderings and feelings. Share this with your priest or spiritual director.
-Pray the Rosary or Divine Mercy chaplet often.

Pax Christi,
Anthony


#12

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